A/N: Yes, I've finally discovered how to complete a chaptered fic! Pretend that I'm writing a really long one-shot! This fic is nearly complete, so I'll be posting chapters as they get edited. Hopefully, I'll be able to get it all up as a snarky Valentine's Day gift.

Just as a warning, if you're looking for a wedding you'll be disappointed.

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July 24 – How Yuuri and Wolfram Talked Things Out Like Reasonable People

There was a time when Yuuri and Wolfram had been very cute around each other. They would blush and refuse to acknowledge that they were crushing. They would teasingly insult each other and argue about everything and nothing, just to have an excuse to play-fight, and therefore get touchy-feely without admitting that they were getting touchy-feely.

Lately, as Yuuri approached his 20th birthday, he had felt Wolfram cooling towards him. It wasn't entirely one-sided, as he felt himself cooling towards Wolfram in return. Surprisingly, this wasn't a bad thing at all, as it had actually allowed them to become much better friends. Without constantly blushing around him anymore, Yuuri could actually go to Wolfram for advice and general companionship, almost like he did with Conrad and Murata. And Wolfram, who didn't feel the need to hide his attraction behind insults and threats of domestic violence anymore, wasn't jealously manhandling the Maou all the time, either.

It wasn't as if their relationship had died. Rather, it was just that it had evolved. Getting rid of the puppy love had allowed them to see each other for who they really were and, in general, they liked what they saw. Yuuri had the feeling that they were going to be great friends – friends for life, even – but he didn't know if he wanted to marry the other man.

He didn't know if Wolfram wanted to marry him, either. While Wolfram used to push the marriage issue, he hadn't done so recently. It was possible that he had changed his mind, and Yuuri now felt close enough to the prince to ask him about it.

The opportunity arose when Wolfram dragged him into the art studio for another portrait. Gagging through the scent of ground up bear-bee fecal matter, Yuuri had managed to pop the question.

"Do you love me, Wolfram? Romantically, I mean." He said this as seriously as he could, but it wasn't as profound as it could have been if he hadn't been choking through the words while trying his best to scoot over to the window for fresh air.

"Shouldn't I be asking you? You're such a wiiiimp--- Oh, move over!" Wolfram dashed over and stuck his head out the window.

Seeing no reason to endure the stench any longer, Yuuri stuck his head out as well. Both gasping for air, Yuuri smiled ruefully and continued their conversation. "Yeah, well…you know how slow I am about these things. So do you?"

There was a pause as Wolfram thought it over.

"It's enough," he finally whispered.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I love you enough. I've been learning to love you these past few years; I'll learn to love you more as time goes on."

"You sound…resigned to it."

"I am."

"But why? If you have to force yourself to see me romantically, then why do you want to get married? It's not like marriage is your duty." Yuuri was honestly confused.

"You don't understand, Yuuri. It is my duty. You made it my duty with that slap. As much of a brat as I was back then, even I understood that one does not refuse the Maou. Whatever the Maou wants, the Maou gets, and I was, and am, honor bound by my pride as a noble Mazoku to give myself to the Maou."

"You sure don't beat around the bush, do you?" That was Wolfram, he thought. True friends stab you in the front. "Okay…that's sounding too much like the really cliché B horror movie virgin sacrifice to the Demon Lord thing."

"If you paid any attention during history lessons, you'd know that the 8th Maou was particularly fond of his virgin sacrifices."

"You're kidding."

"No."

"…Oh."

It was a lot to think about, virgin sacrifices notwithstanding. Yuuri had so many questions he wanted to ask, but they were swallowed down half-formed. Apparently, Wolfram was getting to know him very well, because he answered the unvoiced questions anyway.

"Ugh! Do I have to explain everything to you?" Wolfram cut him off before he could protest, "No, don't answer the rhetorical question, idiot. Okay, here's how it goes. Marrying me will consolidate power for the Bielefelts, the Voltaires, and perhaps even the Spitzwegs, to some extent. It's all a political game. I won't lie to you, Yuuri. This is – we are a political match right now. Arranged marriages are still the norm among the nobility, and if you had proposed to someone below your station, there would have been much pressure on you to choose someone more suitable."

"Arranged marriages, huh. Like Anissina and that Rochefort guy. Or…Adelbert and Julia."

"We're really very lucky, though. We had the choice, and at least we care for each other very much. It doesn't always work out this well, you know."

"Hmm…" Yuuri grunted in reply. He nervously rubbed the back of his head, unsure of how to bring up his proposal. "It was more of an accident than a choice, but Wolf, would you…? Would you…?"

"Would I mind if we broke it off?" the blond prince smirked arrogantly at him.

"Geh! Stop reading my mind!"

"I wouldn't have to if you would just spit it out, wimp!"

"Brain-scrambling alien! I'm going to need a tin foil hat around you!"

Wolfram laughed in his face, and then looked mildly confused at his strange reference to Earth culture, but quickly turned back to the topic at hand. "I wouldn't particularly mind. I do have…feelings for you," he carefully felt his way around those words, "and I could see us being happy. This isn't like my mother's romantic nonsense. If we work hard at it, we can build a life together."

"With Greta…as a real family."

"Yes, that would be nice… However! I should warn you that if we break off the engagement, you're going to have your wimpy ass surrounded by suitors and I won't be there to beat them off for you! You're the Maou and you need to stop being such an indecisive wuss and just hurry up and make up your mind!"

"Right, I will, but stop calling me that!"

"I'll stop calling you 'wimp' when you stop being one! Oh, and Yuuri… If we do get married, and you cheat on me, I will rip your balls off and twine them around your neck." He said this with absolute sincerity.

"Eeeeh?!"

Domestic violence really was scary, especially if your fiancé had a sword and knew how to use it – and when Yuuri was thinking about 'swords', he wasn't making any crude references to Wolfram's genitals at all. But, for the sake of his own, Yuuri finally made his decision.