Summary: The origin of loyalty is often arbitrary.
Disclaimer: I'm just a fanfiction writer. All hail the rightful owners.
Content Disclaimer: This work of fiction contains murder of a canon character; references to childhood abuse, hunger, and homelessness; and some mild cussing. Furthermore, canon characters are written in a morally ambiguous way. Finally, I've taken some liberties with the canon time line and character biographies. I warned you.
"I'm still not sure why you'd want this, Boss." I mutter, as I hand Carmen the vile. I'm in a sulky mood, but then again it's Monday morning and I haven't slept more than six hours all weekend. Sulkiness is my prerogative, and I'm not about to give it up. Even for the famed Carmen Sandiego.
"Don't worry about that." My superior responds. "Now understand that I do not doubt you, but I need to check. You're sure the synthesis was successful?"
"I'm sure." I retort. "I even tested it on some mice. It had the effect you predicted."
"Good initiative." She answers, but I can't read her face.
"Thanks, but there are some side-effects you should know about." I add, and my heart is thumping out of my chest. Why did Carmen pick me for this anyhow? Who hands a lowly lab tech a rough draft of a world-class synthesis scribbled on crumpled yellow notebook paper and tells them to sneak into the lab over the weekends and run it? It's like smuggling a second grader into Sidney Opera House to play Mozart. Before Carmen handed me off to Sara Bellum, I'd never run a reaction in my life. Carmen's blunt expectant glance forces a nervous swallow out of me. I have some decent confidence about me, but I know my limits. I'm next to useless as a synthetic chemist and dislike being dragged into some conflict that could probably tear me to shreds… especially given that my boss seems disinclined to explain any of it. She could throw me a clue.
"For one thing it only works if administered in advance." I expound. "The toxin works too fast compared to the antidote absorbance."
"How far ahead?" Carmen asks simply.
"Half an hour in the mice. I would give it longer for something larger. You can check the tolerance curves."
Bright lively eyes answer with a knowing sparkle. She may be fine with this information, but I don't get it. What possible use can one have for a remedy that only works if taken ahead? Why not simply avoid swallowing the damn stuff in the first place?
"It uh.." I try to articulate. "It's also very painful."
Carmen raises her eyebrows and there's something rather jaunty there… but vaguely sarcastic. "Is that so?"
"Yeah…" I mutter, shifting my feet. "I uh… the mice were in agony. And I wanted to make sure it wasn't the toxin so I ran a trial without it and it was still the same."
"But it didn't kill them?" Carmen clarified.
Now I've never been one of those overemotional sops who has a heart attack every time Carmen gets a paper cut. Her self-destructive impulses are not my problem. Making sure she has all of the information is, however. So, I tried to interject. "Well no but…"
"Then it's fine." She interrupts.
OK then, I should suppose she's going to use this on someone who she doesn't give a damn about. My first guess, given that parameter, would be that she's going to take the medicine herself. Anyone with enough brains to survive in VILE knows there's only one person Carmen likes to torture. Carmen puts her hands on her hips and raises an eyebrow in a way that I never would have put up with back when I was independent. Then again, when I had my freedom I was also starving, and I've no inclination to live that hell again. A lot of pride drowns when someone offers you a warm blanket and a bowl of hearty soup in February.
Fine, she can be insolent all she likes as long as she keeps feeding me. Three meals a day and a place to sleep are nothing to sneeze at, especially with my background, and Carmen pays a whole lot better than that. If that makes me a kept lackey, so be it. I know Carmen's capable of following the science. In fact, I'm on the certain side of sure that synthesis was in her penmanship. So, I hand her my notes.
Trying not to look sullen, I watch my clever boss flipping through my reports, managing not to comment on my horrendous handwriting. I do detest apologizing. "I see you did a few extra runs." She remarks. "And added some tests."
I did something she didn't instruct me to do and I'm probably in trouble. Go figure. "Yes boss…" I mutter. "It was interesting."
The corners of Carmen's eyes scrunch as she smiles, and I can tell for a moment that she thinks it's cool too. I get a notion that maybe she was just trying to see if the synthesis would work. That would not be the first time the boss tried something just for a challenge. At any rate, Carmen looks at me kind of funny. I cannot help feeling as if I have given something away with that statement. Not that I have anything to hide, I remind myself. Carmen knows where she found me and can quite easily infer the rest. There isn't much else to me…
"Did Sara realize what you were doing?" Carmen demands. Her voice is suddenly cool.
"No." I deadpan. Dr Bellum hasn't even been over to my little corner in almost a month. I am beneath her notice. I ought to be beneath Carmen's too For some reason she is using me as a scientist instead of a mobile test tube washing system. That's foolish, but hey, she's the boss.
"Now…" Carmen says, taking my chin invasively in her hand and forcing her to look at her. "Are you sure your report is complete?"
I shiver because she suddenly looks really frightening to me. "Yes."
"Are you Sara's creature…" the voice of icy disdain demands, "or mine?"
There are layers of emotion in that question that go far beyond my pay grade. "Yours."
"Why…" she asks and there is a new flavor of self-depreciating pragmatism present. Carmen is most dangerous when in this kind of mood. I know that. Anyone with half a brain would.
"Because I'm counting on you to make sure Sara doesn't wake up one morning and decide to run an experiment that will kill me."
"That all?" Carmen asks.
I've never understood how people in this organization end up so loyal to Carmen. Our master is a changeable and possibly deranged kleptomaniac, who in all likelihood cares more about people who want to lock her away to rot than she does about those of us who'd prefer she remain loose. I could comprehend being afraid of her or wanting to stay on her good side. I read her moods all the time. It's conducive to me staying alive and out of the slammer. I even know how people get very worked up about her strict material safety. It doesn't benefit any of us for her to die. The devil you know and all that…
But you can't get tangled up in Carmen's emotions. That's a web not even she knows how to get out of. I have to keep my wits about me, and caring about someone who doesn't even notice me is… inexpedient. Carmen has my material loyalty. I'll never serve myself so poorly as to work against her. And I work hard. Boss isn't the only one who has standards. I do everything I'm supposed to and then some.
"You're a force of nature." I answer quietly. "It's better to fear than to love."
Carmen looks at me for a long time. "Well I'll say this for you." She remarks. "If you've falsified any of this, I can't find it."
"I wouldn't make up data." I snap.
My boss's lips curl in a not entirely friendly way. "I'll find out soon enough" She hands me a card. "Get some rest and I'll see you tonight.""
It is thoughtful of her to let me sleep, but the invitation puzzles me. "Why would you want me at your dinner party?"
"To see what you've wrought." Carmen explains with a platinum gaze. "One way or the other."