This is a Kagome/Xigbar sorta-fluffy oneshot thing that I wrote last year for the KH one-shot series that I never got around to doing. It was just sitting in my USB drive, so I decided to upload it for any Xigbar fans out there. I'm not a big fan of him myself, though I do like his personality.
Characters might be a little OoC, regarding Organization XIII relationships with each other. I don't know if Xiggy, Axel, or Demyx hung out together or not… -_-; Bah, let's leave that to the manga and light novels, shall we?
Disclaimer: I don't own InuYasha or Kingdom Hearts, because if I say I do, Xigbar will probably snipe me. So I don't.
"talking"
'thinking'
~In A Pickle~
-o-o-o-
"He's a cocky sumbitch. That's what makes him such a great player."
~Lawrence Taylor
-o-o-o-
Kagome cut through the last Heartless that had appeared and gave a smirk of satisfaction as she watched the heart it held float up into the bright blue sky. With a flash of light, she dismissed her Keyblade.
"Ahhh! I just love coming to Agrabah!" sighed Kagome, stretching her arms above her head contentedly.
Xigbar, who had been her partner for this mission, snorted.
"Huh! What's so great about it? Besides the fact that it has the highest record of the amount of gallons a person can sweat? (1)" he asked derisively.
Kagome rolled her eyes and said, "I rather like the scenery."
"Yes, I rather enjoy miles of sand, too," said Xigbar sarcastically, hefting one of his arrowguns to his shoulder.
"Hmph, you don't enjoy anything," snorted Kagome, giving him a dirty look.
Xigbar only smirked in response, revealing his sharp canine teeth. Turning away with disgust, Kagome made her way towards the dark corridor that lay open in wait for their return.
"So, what do you like about Agrabah?" asked Xigbar from behind her, sounding genuinely curious.
"I didn't know you cared so much," sneered Kagome.
Xigbar laughed and said, "As if! I'm just taking the opportunity to annoy the hell out of you."
Kagome gave him a deadpanned look.
"C'mon, all you gotta do is tell me what you like about this place. Is that so hard?" said Xigbar convincingly.
Kagome rolled her eyes, before deciding to give him what he wanted.
"I like the fact that it has color, unlike the castle," she said.
"Ah, I forgot that the castle feels like a cage to you, Little Bird," said Xigbar with amusement.
He smirked again when Kagome froze, and then adopted an outraged expression on her face.
"I told you not to call me that!" said Kagome with ire.
"You really have yourself to blame, you know. You were the one that told me about the song, after all," said Xigbar, cocking his head and chuckling at her.
Kagome narrowed her eyes at him.
"Kagome, kagomeee," began Xigbar mockingly, his golden eyes watching Kagome's reaction carefully.
"Do you enjoy taunting people?" asked Kagome, raising an eyebrow in question.
"Yes, but especially you," said Xigbar.
"You've got Demyx; what more could you want?" asked Kagome, frowning.
"Sure, Demyx is a blast to make fun of. There's a lot you two have in common: being ridiculously annoying, ridiculously easy to react, and being ridiculously slow about getting the job done. Did I mention ridiculously annoying?" asked Xigbar, ignoring the death glare that Kagome was sending his way.
"But," he continued, holding up a finger and walking slowly towards Kagome, "there's one thing that you have and Demyx doesn't."
Kagome glared up at the arrowgun-wielder; if he was trying to intimidate her, it wasn't going to work.
"And that's this," finished Xigbar, poking Kagome just above her hidden cleavage, right above where her heart beat strongly.
He leaned down into her face, looked her in the eye, and said, in a quite serious tone for him, "That's what makes taunting you so enjoyable."
Kagome slapped his hand away from where it was still poking into her chest; she didn't really feel bothered by that as much as she could have been, like if Xigbar had been a man with a heart. But he wasn't, and couldn't feel lust, so she knew he held no interest for her. He was, for a better word, dinking around with her, whenever he committed actions like touching her in places better off left alone.
"Ugh, let's RTC (2). We've wasted enough time as it is," said Kagome with disgust, before turning around and heading for the dark corridor; she was sick of his antics, and wanted to be left alone.
"What?" said Xigbar, holding his hands out to his sides, "That's it? No retaliation? No 'don't touch me there ever again, or you'll never live to see another year'? Because you've said that before."
Kagome paused and said, quietly, "I've never told you that."
Xigbar suddenly felt a nasty sensation in the pit of his stomach. Whoops.
Kagome whirled around and said, puzzlement evident on her face, "But I have said that to Axel when we were alone, when I mentioned that if you touched my ass again, you would never…"
Her face became dark with anger as she put all the pieces together. Xigbar realized he was in deep shit.
"You–! You were eavesdropping on us, weren't you!" roared Kagome loudly.
"C'mon," said Xigbar, frowning, "I eavesdrop on everyone! What makes you so special?"
"I don't care if you eavesdropped on every last person on Earth!" said Kagome. "You were eavesdropping on me! It better have been the only time, or I'll–"
"Threatening a higher-ranked member? I don't think the Superior will take kindly to that," interrupted Xigbar, grinning maliciously down at her.
Kagome's ignored him and gritted out threateningly, trying to get to the point, "I hope that was the only time."
Xigbar's shrugged, and Kagome clenched her fists at her sides.
"How often?" she asked in a high, menacing whisper.
"Couple times a day, max" said Xigbar, not really caring if he pissed her off or not.
"Ohohohoho!" said Kagome with hysterical, angry humor. "You do, do you? What next? Are you going to spy on me in the shower?"
Xigbar's shrugged and grinned slowly, causing all angry humor that Kagome possessed to disappear. She gasped and her face went red as a cherry, both in outrage and embarrassment.
"You…! You…! You…pervert!" said Kagome furiously, walking over to Xigbar and then slapping him hard on the face.
Xigbar winced and listened in amusement and annoyance as she began calling him every nasty name possible. If a seasoned sailor had been present, he would have been proud.
"Hey, would it help if I said you look good naked?" Xigbar said after a couple of minutes, tired of being yelled at.
Kagome's face almost turned purple with rage, and she swung her hand back to give Xigbar the hardest slap she could muster.
"YOU BASTARD!" she roared at the top of her lungs, slapping him on the un-abused side of his face.
'How dare he! That's the worst insult imaginable to a woman! Saying it like that makes it sound like I'm hideous!' fumed Kagome, wanting to wrap her fingers around Xigbar's neck; if she had, she would have let go after he stopped moving.
Then she turned straight around and stomped her way over to the dark corridor. Before she stepped through, she turned around one last time, her face scrunched up in fury, before flipping Xigbar off with both of her hands. Giving him one final death-glare, she stepped through the dark corridor and vanished from sight.
Xigbar grumbled with dissatisfaction, gingerly touching the welts rising on his face.
"She sure packs one hell of a slap," he muttered. "Besides, she does look good naked. I would've taken that for a compliment, not get mad about it."
Grinning and feeling smug – or as smug as he could be, being a Nobody – about his day's accomplishments, Xigbar stepped into the dark corridor.
Then the patch of darkness that had been a link to another world dissipated from Agrabah, leaving no trace that it was ever there.
-o-o-o-
Axel and Demyx were staring at Xigbar and exchanging looks while sitting in the Grey Area.
The pyromaniac had his arms crossed and was staring heatedly at Xigbar with his head lowered slightly. The sitar user was leaning over with his elbows on his knees, rubbing the back of his neck nervously every now and then before sneaking a glance at Xigbar.
Xigbar, too, was leaning over, but had his elbows resting on his thighs with his hands hanging between his legs. He was staring at the floor between his feet, and had been for over half an hour. By the looks of it, it didn't look like he'd let up anytime soon.
Axel sighed at the hangdog expression on Xigbar's face. The arrow-gun wielder had been unusually moody and quiet for the past couple of days, and hadn't given any wisecracking jokes at all; that was a clue that something was up.
Putting a fist up to his mouth, Demyx loudly cleared his throat to get Xigbar's attention.
Xigbar rolled his one eye up to glare at Demyx.
"What?" he growled.
Demyx managed not to squeak at the look on Xigbar's face, though he did jump slightly. If looks could kill…
"Nothing! Nothing!" said the sitar user frantically, waving his hands in front of him.
He flinched again when Axel gave his own glare.
"Actually, Xigbar, there is something," said Axel. "You've been acting weird lately."
"So?" growled Xigbar, daring the pyromaniac to continue.
Axel, being himself, plowed onwards without fear.
"So you've been acting kinda weird lately. Would you mind telling us what that is?" asked Axel pointedly, raising an eyebrow.
"What are you, my therapist?" asked Xigbar sarcastically.
"See, he's feeling better! Well, I guess you don't need me here–" said Demyx nervously, getting up hurriedly from his seat on his and Axel's couch.
"Sit down!" snapped Axel, grabbing Demyx by the elbow and pulling him roughly back down.
Demyx whimpered but remained in a sitting position.
Xigbar smirked out of the corner of his mouth and said, "Heh, you guys are acting pretty serious."
"We are serious, Xigbar, because lately you've been acting… What was that word again, Demyx?" said Axel, turning his head pointedly at the sitar user, though he knew full well what the word was.
"Emotional?" Demyx offered up.
"Yes, that's it," said Axel, turning back to Xigbar. "Emotional. Emotions, not only coming from a man who believes they're bullshit, but who's also a Nobody. You see why we're concerned?"
"I think what you're saying is bullshit," said Xigbar, narrowing his eye at Axel.
The sound of a dark corridor opening suddenly set him on high alert, which caused Axel and Demyx to exchange looks of confusion. Xigbar sat up straight when he saw Kagome step from the newly-opened dark corridor and begin debriefing Saïx on how her mission went.
"Hey, 'Gome's back early," said Demyx, peeking around Axel's shoulder to see who had arrived.
The three sitting together watched as Kagome wrapped up her debriefing, and then simply walked out of the Grey Area without so much as a glance towards them.
"She's been really pissed lately. I wonder why?" murmured Axel, before turning his gaze back towards Xigbar.
He blinked when he saw Xigbar deflate from his upright position back down into his slumping position. The arrowgun wielder's face held an expression of misery.
"Ohhhh," said Axel, understanding. "That's where you got those bruises on your face from."
Demyx looked back and forth between Axel and Xigbar before snorting with laughter. He didn't even stop when Xigbar sent him a venomous glare.
"'Gome slapped you! That's priceless!" the sitar player snickered.
"Still doesn't explain why he's been moping around like a kicked puppy," said Axel, raising an eyebrow at Xigbar.
He leaned forward and said, "Care to elaborate, hmm?"
"As if."
"Looks like we'll have to just guess," said Axel with a sigh. "Let's see… You got slapped by Kagome, probably because of something you said…"
Axel got a cold glare from Xigbar but continued.
"And she's ignoring you, which is to be expected after making her angry… And now you're sulking like a little kid…" said Axel, rubbing his chin thoughtfully.
He clapped his hands and said, "Okay, so what's the most reasonable solution?"
Demyx shrugged, saying, "The moping part doesn't make sense. Unless…"
"Unless what?" asked Axel.
"Pfft! Nah!" said Demyx, waving his hand dismissively, "That's totally not Xigbar!"
"What?" repeated Axel.
Demyx smirked at Xigbar – who gave him a 'I dare you' look – and said, "Maybe he's moping because he likes 'Gome and can't stand a few days of not bickering with her."
"I've had enough!" said Xigbar suddenly, getting up from his sitting position on his couch.
"Listening to you two is like listening to a couple of old hens squawking," he said, glaring at them out of the corner of his eye.
Axel and Demyx remained silent as they watched Xigbar stride off purposefully out of the Grey Area.
Then Axel turned back to Demyx and said, "I guess you struck gold."
"I guess… Who would've thought that Xigbar liked 'Gome? How does he even 'like' her in the first place?" asked Demyx rhetorically.
"Probably because she can use the Keyblade and has her heart, or something," said Axel, reclining against the back of the couch with his hands behind his head.
Demyx was silent for a moment and finally asked, "Where do you think he was going, anyway? He looked like he was headed somewhere."
"Beats me."
-o-o-o-
'Damn him. That Demyx is too sharp for his own good sometimes,' thought Xigbar angrily.
Everything that Demyx had said was true. Xigbar really did miss hanging out with Kagome, even if all he did was tease her. He liked the retaliations she sent back, or the outraged reactions he got when he made her mad. It was fun to be in Kagome's company, and since she was currently ignoring him, Xigbar felt depressed.
'I feel depressed. Must be because of her and the Keyblade,' mused Xigbar as he made his way past the shower room.
He paused when he heard someone humming from inside the shower room, along with the sound of one of the showerheads running. Frowning, Xigbar put his ear closer to the door. The person humming was feminine, and Larxene was at Castle Oblivion, so the person in the shower was…
'Hmm, this might be an opportunity to make up for what I did,' thought Xigbar delightedly, a plan hatching in his mind.
Smirking, he took up a post beside the door, making sure that when the door opened, he would be blocked from view. He leaned back against the wall and crossed his arms, waiting patiently.
'This oughta be good.'
-o-o-o-
Sighing contentedly, Kagome turned off the steaming, warm water of the shower. Feeling chilled from the lack of warm water, she quickly opened the stall door and poked her head out to see if anyone was outside of the shower stalls.
Seeing no one, Kagome hurried over to the cupboard at the end of the room, extracting a fluffy towel to dry herself with. Then she darted back into the stall she had used; she'd be damned if anyone was going to see her naked, though Xigbar had obviously found a way.
Xigbar. Kagome's temper flared, and she began drying her hair roughly because of it.
'Insufferable man! Now I don't even feel safe taking a shower anymore, the bastard!' thought Kagome, gritting her teeth so tightly that her jaw began to ache.
She finished drying off her body, though her chin-length hair continued to drip beads of water. Wrapping her towel around herself, she exited the stall for a second time, only to realize that – in her anger from seeing Xigbar in the Grey Area – she had forgotten one of her extra sets of clothes to dress into. And she couldn't wear the set she had had on before, because she had already tossed them down the laundry chute.
"Stupid! Stupid!" Kagome berated herself, hitting her forehead with her knuckles.
How could she let that cocky bastard get to her? From her time in the Sengoku Jidai, she had learned to control her notorious temper, but all of that control seemed to unravel around Xigbar, who enjoyed it too much for his own good.
'If he gets paired up with me again, I swear he's coming back to the castle in a body bag,' Kagome thought heatedly.
She stomped over to the door of the shower room, and then – with a jolt – remembered she was clad in only a towel. Crap.
'I hope no one sees me like this,' thought Kagome, before cautiously opening the door.
She peeked out to see if anyone was around, the door blocking her view of the other end of the hall. Holding her breath, she cocked her head and listened to hear if anyone was approaching. She waited… Nothing.
Stepped cautiously out into the hall, Kagome thought, 'I think if I run into Axel or Demyx, I'll be okay with their teasing.'
She heard the shower room door swing shut behind her as she began her first couple of sneaky steps down the hall, her bare feet making hardly any sound on the cold, metal floor.
'Although, I don't think I'll live it down if I run into–' thought Kagome, before a horribly familiar voice spoke up from behind her.
"Hey, sexy."
Kagome froze in mid-step, her blue eyes becoming wide as saucers. Her face heated up, both with anger and embarrassment again.
'NOOO! WHYYY?' Kagome thought desperately, cursing every god in the universe.
Her head whipped around to look behind her, and her face turned scarlet with anger at what she saw.
Xigbar was leaning against the wall just outside the door of the shower room, his arms crossed across his chest. He had been in such a position that if someone opened the shower room door from the interior, the door would block him from view.
Kagome growled mentally; he had been waiting for her.
His trademark grin on his face, Xigbar said, "What's the matter, Little Bird? Cat got your tongue?"
Kagome's eyes narrowed, her face quickly developing into a scowl. Gathering up what was left of her dignity, she drew herself up straight and then turned back around to go to her room.
She had barely any time to react when Xigbar reached her in a couple of long strides and grabbed her by her elbow.
"Where do you think you're going?" he asked, grinning darkly as he jerked her back around to face him.
"I believe, sir, that I'm going to get myself some clothes," said Kagome testily, trying to tug her arm out of his grip.
"Why? You look better without them," commented Xigbar, his eye roving up and down her body.
Infuriated, Kagome swung up one her hands to slap him, clutching her towel tightly with the other. But before her hand could reach his face, Xigbar caught it around the wrist with his other hand, before capturing her lips with his.
His kiss wasn't what Kagome would have preferred her first kiss to be. It was rough and overwhelming, and she gasped at the intensity and shock of it. Xigbar smirked against her mouth, taking this chance to plunder her mouth with his tongue. Kagome was too surprised to respond, feeling him memorize every inch inside it.
Needing to come up for air, Xigbar broke away from Kagome's lips and took a deep breath. Kagome panted, trying to get as much air as possible through her swollen, red lips.
"Is that enough of an apology for you?" Xigbar said gruffly.
Kagome decided to finish what she had been about to do; she freed her hand and slapped Xigbar across the face as hard as she could.
Xigbar thought he saw stars burst across his vision, and his already bruised cheek erupted in pain as if it were on fire.
"Owwww," he groaned, not daring to touch his new injury in fear of more pain.
"That's for eavesdropping on me, watching me in the shower, and being a total bastard!" Kagome growled angrily.
Xigbar said nothing, since he was nursing his new face handprint.
"And this is for your apology," said Kagome, smirking and grabbing his face with both hands.
She pulled his head downwards and kissed him fervently, taking Xigbar by surprise. The Nobody quickly recovered and took control of the situation by kissing Kagome back with more force, though not as roughly as before. All the while, Kagome barely noticed that the towel surrounding her body was sliding slowly down to the floor.
Kagome surfaced for oxygen, and rested her forehead against Xigbar's while trying to regain her breath. The arrowgun wielder was feeling the strain in his back and shoulders from bending over to kiss Kagome, and was about to straighten up when he saw where Kagome's towel was.
It was crumpled in a heap around her feet and ankles, baring her body to all. Xigbar gave her a once-over, enjoying the view. And then he began to laugh.
"What is–" began Kagome, before she saw what direction Xigbar was looking.
Seeing her current state of undress, Kagome gave a little shriek and snatched up her towel. She hastily held it pressed to her front, blushing madly and glaring at Xigbar as he continued to guffaw to himself.
Grinning at Kagome, Xigbar said, "I told you that you looked good naked."
Kagome turned scarlet.
"You pervert," she muttered.
-o-o-o-
Author's Notes
(1) Is it just me, or does Xigbar sometimes sound like he's drunk? LOL
(2) This means to 'Return To the Castle' after a mission via a dark corridor after a mission is completed
-o-o-o-
So that's that! I hope you enjoyed it, 'cause you gotta love Xigbar's attitude and his 'as ifs'. :3
Until next time, ja ne! ^.^