This is my first fan fiction. I wrote it several months ago, but haven't got around to putting it up. Please be kind. If you find all the ideas from other movies you get a cookie. Leave a comment with you're guesses. Kudos to you.
Disclaimer: I do not own House for which he is eternally grateful. If I did, he would be a posh queer cruising the street for some boy on boy action; his cane would be there for the purpose of him looking like a pimp; and he would be such a prissy bitch because he bottoms. There I've done it. Now that the legal issues are out of the way on with the tale.
On with the tale.
"Why are you so mean?"
House looked back at Wilson with a look of astonishment and awe at the suddenness and audacity of the question. Then he let the faux pas slip from his face and snorted. 'People are idiots. If they were actually capable of some form of intelligence I would not have to be "so mean". Besides, it's tough love."
Wilson rolled his eyes at House's cynical response and replied, "No I'm serious, why are you mean. Why can't you just be nice for once? You know look at the bright side of things."
House whispered with a hint of conspiracy, "You want to know the truth?"
"Yes. That would be nice."
"The truth is I wrote a letter to Santa when I was three."
"What?"
"No seriously. I wrote a letter to Santa when I was three asking for a weenie whistle. When I woke up on Christmas and it wasn't there I lost all faith in the world"
"Over a weenie whistle?"
"Yes. Sad isn't it. Doesn't it just make you want to cry?" House responded with a strange mixture of contempt and sarcasm."
"So, if I get you the whistle will you cheer up and start to be nice to people?" Wilson asked cautiously. It did not do to get his hopes up.
"No. You see the weenie whistle is now just a reminder of all the things I can't have. No amount of weenie whistles will make me forget about it."
"Can't you just be nice anyway then. I mean it was so long ago and it's not like it will kill you to be nice. People might actually start to like you then."
"Meh. Tried it once. Didn't like it. Besides what makes you think I want people to like me. I am happy just the way I am." Gregory House then let out a laugh that sent chills down Wilson's spine (in a bad way) as he walked a way whistling the Sonic the Hedgehog game theme.
Wilson let out an exasperated sigh. and thought to himself, "You're a mean one Dr. House."
Flames will be used to toast marshmallows for smores.