Title: Someone who cares
Author: Loz
E-Mail: loz06(at)yahoo(dot)com
Rating: T
Category: Neil.Andrea, teensy bit of Bruce, Phil and Smithy.
Series: Stand alone…Not related to anything else I've done.
Spoilers: So minor it shouldn't ruffle any feathers as long as you've seen episodes 277 through to 282.
Archive (if applicable): www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net(slash)loz06
Feedback: The good, the bad and the very ugly it's all appreciated.
Summary: What if Andrea found out about Neil being involved in the siege at St. Hugh's and was worried about him? Does it mean things are back smooth with them?
Authors' notes: Just something that was bothering me about the gap between 277 and 282.
Disclaimers: I'm someone who cares about being sued so it becomes necessary to say I have no association with The Bill.
"Not now." Andrea Dunbar groans as her mobile fires up, sometimes she hates it, like now as she intended to head out without it.
"Hello?" Andrea snaps, sounding hassled and annoyed by the delay.
"Are you in the middle of this thing?" Bruce demands without a greeting.
"What are you talking about; I'm not rostered to work today, I'm on sick leave. I was hit over the head remember, concussion." Andrea looks pointedly at her watch although Bruce can't see the action that's meant for him.
The deep sigh from the other end has Andrea rolling her eyes.
"Jesus Bruce, I can't control that. Even if I wanted to go back they wouldn't let me, doctor's orders." Sometimes she wants to hang up on him, shortly after telling him what an ass he is.
"I know that." He snaps like Andrea's just insulted him. "It's just this is a huge story."
"It's always a huge story with you." Andrea's desire to wind up the conversation grows as she leaves her flat, locking the door behind her. "Are we done now?" Andrea says herself, resigned to the fact her mobile will have to go with her.
"No, no we're not." Bruce comes back angrily. "I've got a DCI, a DI and God knows how many officers from Sun Hill involved in a siege situation at St. Hugh's. Mean time who's running Sun Hill and how did so many senior officers get themselves tangled up in this…what a mess."
"I don't know." Andrea says sharply though it was a rhetorical question, she covers her growing concern.
With this new information she slows on the steps, finally stopping halfway down to the ground floor. "Jack Meadows?" Andrea says dropping slowly to sit on the stairs, a white knuckle grip on the rail.
"And a…" Bruce pauses, unknowingly leaving Andrea hanging, "DI Manson and PC Valentine."
"Is anyone hurt?" Andrea asks keeping her feelings in check; she puts her head in her free hand, not wanting to know the answer.
"Not at the moment as far as I know, look Andrea, tomorrow…" He's cut off at the pass.
"You'll have what you want; I'll get it for you." Andrea says quietly, there's a long silence, Bruce is surprised by her willingness. "I'll call someone pretending to be concerned and bored out of my mind at home." Truth is she is.
"I'll call you then." He hangs up in her ear, off to harass a colleague of Andrea's for an update.
She remains on the stairs wondering who she can call to ask for more information, she tries to find a reason to go to Sun Hill station…she has none. She couldn't care less about Bruce and his quest to unravel the MET, she's worried about Neil.
After her kiss with Smithy at the Christmas party and subsequent dates she thought she was moving away from Neil. To someone fun and eligible, someone a lot less hassle and work than Neil is.
For a time there she was tired of the sporadic way they were seeing each other and for Andrea, Smithy is everything Neil isn't. She puts all that into question as she punches Neil's number into her phone.
Neil pulls vigorously at his handcuffed hands though he knows it will have no effect. He's well attached to the metal pole and there's no chance of him getting free. It's an action done out of frustration at the situation rather than expecting to make any difference.
His arms are aching from being vertical for so long and to add insult Jack Meadows has only one hand cuffed. What it took to get the DCI to scratch his back Neil doesn't want to think about, let alone have to go through again.
It would be hot in the windowless, airless room at the best of times, let alone in the charcoal suit and black shirt he's worn today. He sighs and feels himself becoming outwardly irritated at the situation; Jack Meadows seems unflappable as usual which adds itself to his list of irritations.
Neil complains loudly about how long it's taking for them to be found, though he does manage to get his jacket off.
Deflated and giving up any useless fight he has left in him Neil lets his head and arms hang. He turns his thoughts to the one person that makes him smile, that brings meaning and joy to his life, other than Jake. He promises Andrea will be the first person he goes to see when this is all over.
When Honey Harmon finally opens the door, Neil glares at her, annoyed she took so long, becoming further annoyed as she gushes about how the new DC, Jo Masters was the hero of the day.
Neil Manson pulls his car up to the curb outside Andrea's block of flats; slowly he turns off the car and leans back in his chair. He pulls at his tie, tossing it onto the seat next to him and lifts his arms, smelling. Locked up next to Jack Meadows it was hot, stuffy and time crept by, a test for even the best underarm deodorant.
He shifts looking up to Andrea's flat, a light burns strongly in the bedroom, its evening and starting to get dark.
He'll meet resistance; he knows that from the last few times they've spoken. He suspects she's applying pressure through seeing Smithy to get him to do what she wants. As frustrating as it is, there's no way he's ready for what she wants right now, he's not even close. He's reasonably confidant though Smithy is just a tool to help her make her point and she'll burn out with Smithy and come back to him.
He's not about to let that stop him though, he wants to see her and he's willing to push.
Neil steps out of the car, looking up to her window again. His first challenge will be the external security door.
"Eeuugghh," Andrea groans as the buzzer fills her flat, the last thing she wants is visitors. She has a strong suspicion its Bruce downstairs, armed with a list of demands for her.
She hovers around the speaker that allows her to converse with the person outside, in the back of her someplace she's still very worried about Neil, the fact it's now almost dark and she hasn't heard anything further has only inched her more on edge. As least if it's Bruce he'll know more.
"Who is it?" She asks looking to her feet.
"Andrea, can I come up?" The voice asks and instantly she takes her finger off the speaker button. Her heart races and she vigorously pushes away the new tears that have sprung, after today she wouldn't have been surprised if someone told her she is dehydrated.
The buzzer sounds again and Andrea walks away from the speaker. He can keep his finger on it all night, he's not coming up. She's angry with him now, it overshadows the concern and worry she's felt for him all day, concern that was fed voraciously on a lack of information and him not answering her calls.
She settles herself in front of the television and tries to banish the image of him standing downstairs alone. She has enough will power to be able to resist going to the window to watch him walk away and risk having him see her, only to go back and try again.
She hates to admit she feels a great deal of relief to know he's safe.
The buzzing stops after only a few tries and as time passes she relaxes realising he's given up, just like she expected he would. Not only at that, she expected he wouldn't fight for her when it came to Smithy either.
The police drama on TV goes to a break and Andrea goes to the bathroom, looking at her face in the mirror. The red blotchy cheeks from her intermittent tears of the day will not disappear. She splashes more cold water on her face as a familiar knock sounds at the door.
As she pats her face dry, attempting to look normal again, she wonders how she will explain things to Jeremy her next door neighbour. It's his knock and Andrea suspects Neil has disturbed his peace and quiet in an attempt to get in to see her.
She strides towards the flat front door, ready to play innocent and helpless, presenting Neil as her creepy, obsessed ex-boyfriend for sympathy and co-operation.
Neil waits on the other side of the door with his hand over the peep hole. He'd had to think quickly as a resident came out of the building, he went in, only to be queried.
"I just moved in, flat 12a." He lied, having seen the rental sign out the front of the building weeks again, he took a gamble. "I forgot my key." He purposely acts sheepish and it works.
"Welcome to the building." The resident had said and Neil walked quickly on.
His hand prevents Andrea from seeing it's him on the other side of the door and walking away. Then on the other hand for her personal safety he hopes she realises the situation could be unsafe for her and asks before opening the door.
Not long after knocking he hears footsteps approach on the other side of the door.
With suspicions of who it is on the other side of the door, Andrea doesn't bother to check. She smiles but it's soon wiped off her face when she sees Neil standing on the other side of the door, it immediately slams in his face and she walks away.
She doesn't get far before Neil knocks again, it's more vigorous and louder this time. Andrea turns back to the door, a lack of willpowers has nothing to do with it, she wants to go back and tell him. She yanks at the door, pulling it open as far as she can without loosing grip on it.
She glares at him that Neil takes no notice of, his face only changes when he sees she's been crying.
"You bastard," She spits closing the door with a flick of her wrist, she doesn't wait to check it closes, turning and heading back to the TV, undeterred by the fact she hears Neil's hand slap against the door to stop it from closing. She hears him follow her inside and close the door behind him.
"Hey." He calls, Andrea ignores him, staring intently at the TV screen, but inwardly she's hanging off his every move.
He crosses through her gaze, standing in front of the picture; she continues to stare realising it's not working, so he turns off the TV.
"I was watching that." Andrea says sulkily, continuing to stare at the now blank screen.
"What's going on?" Neil asks, a little taken aback when Andrea gets quickly out of the sofa. There's no mistaking the anger on her face and then in her voice.
"What's going on, you really have to ask that question?" She says astounded that he doesn't realise, she talks with her hands, her glare rests across the back of the sofa and onto him.
Neil is bewildered as ever, he expected to have to fight her, but not at something he has no idea about. From the moment he saw her red and puffy face and her greeting he knew something else was going on. This wasn't about him, her and Smithy.
"I found out hours ago you were involved in a siege situation at St. Hugh's. I've been out of my mind with worry about you. I turned on the TV; I couldn't call or ask anyone. Then I found out it's over, I started to call you to find out if you're o.k. a long time before then. I only stopped trying to call you a half hour ago; you didn't return one of my calls."
Neil stares at her totally stunned, it is the absolute last thing he expected her to say when she had not so long ago basically told him she was moving on.
"I…I don't, I don't know what to say. I… didn't expect you to let me in. The last time we spoke…Smithy. I thought that's what it was about when you wouldn't let me up. I wanted to talk because last time you told me in no uncertain terms Smithy was the man for you, that what I could give you wasn't enough. He was there at your hospital bedside, you haven't taken my calls all this time you've been sick. Then at the door I saw you'd been crying and now…you've just said what you have."
Andrea looks away unsure of whether she's going to cry again or not.
"Smithy…" Neil stops but he wants to ask where she stands with the sergeant after her words just now.
"Smithy what?" Andrea says quietly. "I was worried about you."
It's exactly what Neil wants to hear and never thought he would again, "Really?" He asks tenderly.
"I felt sick, I worry about you, I think about you. It's not like I could ask anyone at Sun Hill about you, I couldn't come down there. Towards the end I was just going to ask someone, I didn't care about the repercussions." Andrea's voice starts to wobble.
"I'm o.k." Neil shuffles away from the front of the TV to the dining table.
"I've been calling you all day." Andrea implores.
"I know I have forty missed calls from you." Neil pulls out his phone though she can see no evidence of her calls. "I couldn't just call you back."
Andrea rolls her eyes, annoyance at him growing again.
"I had to come see you." It's Andrea's turn to look stunned. "I decided that before I got out of the hospital while I was still locked up, I was thinking about you. I though we could try and talk about us. I didn't think about the siege, I didn't think you'd know much less be worried. I didn't think you felt…I'm sorry."
"Dammit Neil, I'm in your life whether you like it or not, you want it that way, you've made it that way, whatever the role is I play. After today I think maybe this thing between us is becoming something more." Neil has been wondering that as well himself lately but it doesn't stop him being astonished to hear Andrea say it. "I was scared, I had no information, and I was worried about you. I went through all of the possibilities, I even realised I wouldn't be able to grieve openly at your funeral." Wide eyed Neil gazes at Andrea, she does the same back. He knows now she was kidding herself about Smithy, her feelings weren't moving away from him, they were stronger for him.
"I'm sorry, I didn't think." Neil says looking at his feet. "I'm sorry."
"If you don't want us to be this way…" Andrea begins confidently, and then corrects herself. "No it's too late, it can't change, I can't change, I have feelings for you." The words he's wanted to hear her say. "Whether you like it or not I care about what happens to you and today I was scared. Things like this in your life I need to be included in." Andrea emphasises, there's no need, with Neil she's pushing an open door.
"I do want…us." Neil says directly at her. "I like it."
But Andrea's not done. "You can't just go straight home to Philippa and forget about me, ignore my calls and leave me on the sofa with all my nails bitten off."
"I didn't go home." Neil interrupts. "I haven't been home." He steps closer to Andrea, still leaving a distance between them, as he tells her why he's here and how he came to be here he can see the fight in her drain away a little.
Stun and surprise are now almost permanent features on her face. "I haven't spoken to Philippa, I haven't seen her. I came straight here."
"You're probably just here for sex." Andrea brushes away his last words but Neil knows her, she'll be wanting to keep him at a distance, to not appear weak and to not relent until he's said he'll give her what she wants.
"I'm here because I wanted to see you, only you, alone." It has the desired effect on Andrea for Neil though that was far from his motivation or reason for saying it. He takes another step closer, now only one away but in his arms would be what he wants more than anything now.
"You wanted to pull me off the cordon on Taft Street but I can't contact you after you've been locked up and held at gun point." Andrea reminds him, a new emotion in her voice.
"I know." Neil half smiles at his protective nature towards her, his attitude to himself is in total contrast. It comes from Philippa and the lack of concern she shows for him. It's not as though she tells him to be safe each time he heads to work, or reminds him he has responsibilities to her and Jake and they need him. Philippa could and does take care of herself; Jake would be more than fine in her sole care as well.
Andrea is another story, she needs him, she tells him things and takes comfort from him…and worries about him, apparently a lot. "I was being debriefed and…well you know why I didn't call."
He takes the opportunity to put himself face to face with Andrea as she nods in reply.
"I'm sorry, I'm not used to…Philippa treats me like I'm a cat with nine lives. She doesn't ask, she doesn't worry anymore…she doesn't care." Neil explains.
"You can't be the same with me Neil because I treat you as precious as you are to me." She barely gets the last few words out as new tears spring from her eyes; Neil brushes them away with the pad of his thumb, the rest of his hand cradling her cheek.
"Can't tell you how it feels to know you care about what happens to me, where I am, if I'm safe. I haven't had that in a long time and I've missed it, I need it. The fact it's you just makes it even better." Neil doesn't need to emphasise anything, it comes straight from the heart.
"Thank you." Andrea says as her tears turn into crying, she easily welcomes Neil's arms around her, moulding into his hold.
"Shh, it's alright, I'm safe, I'm o.k." Neil says soothingly, he stands holding her for a few minutes till she's calmed down.
"I was so worried about you today." Andrea repeats, looking up at him through blurred vision. She doesn't need to say it again; it circulates joyfully through his memory from the first time. "Are you hurt?" Andrea asks into his chest.
"My lecture's over is it?" Neil jokes but inside he can't believe how those three little words from Andrea make him feel about himself and her.
She pulls back a little, looking up to him. "Please don't ever do what you did today again; I don't want this to end." If he had to keep only one of her sentences from tonight, it would be that one. He can't help but look lovingly down at her, thumbs stroking her cheeks.
"I won't, I promise." He eyes close gradually before his lips ever make contact with Andrea's but they know the way. She kisses him just the way he expects and remembers, with warmth and passion and a little tease that indicates just how independent she is, as well as needing him. The day erases itself as they slip their way towards the bedroom.
Neil watches Andrea lying on her stomach, the duvet tucked up around the middle of her back. Her eyes have been closing periodically for a few seconds since she settled like she is, the tireder she becomes the harder that battle to stay awake will become.
Neil's just happy to lie on his side watching her, dark hair sprayed across her back making patches of almost olive skin. She has her hand closest to him touching his chest, a small remnant of the immense intimate closeness they just shared, that and her affection have at times made him feel like new, alive again. He'd forgotten that being with someone could be so good and he carries those and other feelings with him into everything each day. They remain on the doorstep of home however.
"Do I need your permission to go into dangerous situations from now on?" He asks quietly and Andrea smiles though her eyes remain closed.
"You've got to start leaving the dangerous stuff to those of us that bravely risk our lives each day, that don't sit in a chair each day." Andrea teases. "On the off chance it should become absolutely necessary you'll need my express written and verbal permission." Neil smiles with the teasing, touching barely her shoulder. "I also hold exclusive rights to look after you, after said situations."
Neil slides down the bed a little, resting his head next to Andrea's, "Done, easiest deal to accept in the world."
"Thank you." Andrea mouths, the hand that rested on his chest finds his cheek as she kisses him sweetly.
Neil takes her hand, intent of putting it back by her side and pulling up the duvet over her. It's then he notices an opportunity to tease himself.
"Your nails look fine to me." He says pretending to inspect them and Andrea breaks out into a wide grin.
"I had to punish you a little." Andrea says taking her hand back to her side.
"I've just spent most of my day being handcuffed to Jack Meadows, isn't that punishment enough?" Neil puts a mock pout on his face.
Andrea smiles, closing her eyes again and moves right up to him, the length of her body touching his.
"I'm going to need a little while…" Neil starts a few minutes later, instantly Andrea's eyes open and she shifts her head back to look at him, curious of the context of the words. "From you, to adjust to having someone who cares about me like you do."
"Just don't take too long." Andrea whispers and Neil rolls onto his back, taking Andrea with him and getting comfortable with her against his chest.
Phil Hunter takes a deep breath when he sees his boss DI Manson coming towards him, they'd had words, Phil had said some things he shouldn't have and didn't mean, he and Neil's friendship goes back to their days at Hendon and it shouldn't end because of a few things said in the heat of a moment.
"Neil about earlier," He starts.
"Phil I was out of order alright, I'm sorry." Neil cuts him off.
"I'm sorry; I guess I did deserve it." Phil apologises as well, he actually thought maybe it might be a little more difficult than this.
"Yeah you did." Neil smiles and walks off as Phil laughs at the joke.
"Oh by the way," Phil remembers turning back as Neil does the same towards him. "Your bit on the side's back."
Neil seems to not genuinely understand, "What?" He asks walking back towards Phil.
"Andrea Dunbar, she got back about ten minutes ago." Phil informs him and although he can't show it outwardly he can't wait to catch up with her again.
"Right, listen Phil, whatever she and I had it's finished. It's over." Neil has to lie; he has to stop Phil talking to him about Andrea, asking him questions, possibly talking to others.
"Yeah I heard she's taken a bit of a shine to Smithy. Which is probably for the best Neil, you know, you've got more time to spend with Pippa." Neil's face drops significantly at the suggestion, he nods and walks off, the last thing he wants is to spend more time with Philippa right now, he's not willing to give Andrea up for anything. He wants to see her smiling face, to hold her and kiss her and tell her he's missed her.
Around the corner from where he was speaking to Phil he realises he was lost in his thoughts about Andrea; he's headed back in the same direction he came from. Against the wall he looks to the polished floor and concentrates on wiping the smile from his face that's there as a result of Andrea, it takes a little while. When he wears his usual serious scowl he sets out to look for her.
Walking the corridors Andrea says hi to a female colleague of hers as she comes around the corner, as Catherine Hartman passes her Andrea sees Smithy, no more than five steps away.
She stops and smiles down the corridor at him, a brilliant watt smile greets her back and she feels herself dance a little inside.
"Welcome back." He says and they continue to smile at one another, Andrea can't help it. She recalls their dates, fun and laid back and out in public. His sensitive nature and sense of humour, the way he would come over and check she was alright when she was off sick.
In truth she hadn't walked through the door thinking immediately about Neil, not at all. She blames their night together, as good as it was and the things she said on her concern for him, but nothing's changed, she still wants the same things.
Neil passes along the corridor behind the reception area and sees the back of Andrea as she walks out the front of the station…she's not alone. He watches through the rectangular glass in the window as they step outside. He activates the security lock, Andrea out of sight, so far it's all perfectly innocent but he can't help feeling nervous. Smithy is good looking, Andrea's age and most importantly uncomplicated…Neil knows that.
When the door swings open he walks into reception, slowing as he sees Smithy and Andrea kissing. He stands and stares, unable to do anything but watch like the scene before him is a horrific accident, he has no hope this is that.
When Andrea breaks her kiss with Smithy she sees Neil over Smithy's shoulder standing inside, watching and staring. He looks shattered and her face reflects the uneasiness and that fact she's uncomfortable.
"What?" Smithy asks.
"Nothing, just glad to be back," Andrea smiles, she's covering but she also knows she's made her decision and Neil will have to deal with it no matter how much it hurts, he knows her reasons.
Inside the station he walks out of sight.
"Come on." Andrea encourages Smithy, they head towards her car.
Neil somehow manages to get himself back through the security door. He can't understand what he's just seen, he doesn't know why or how it happened, nothing has happened between them since they were last together on the night of the siege at St. Hugh's. He hadn't seen her since then and was looking forward to sneaking her into his office or another room to say hello in the way he wanted to. Stunned and lost in his thoughts he heads back through the corridors to his office.
He recognizes that despite the other night he may have lost Andrea, his someone who cares.
The End.