~*Disclaimer*~
Only thing I own in this story is Azriel, Loki and the rest of the angels. Of course I don't own Final Fantasy X, Squaresoft, or any of the characters in this story…U.U wish I did…cause then I would kill Lulu off and replace her with her with FFX-2's Paine! MUHAHAHAHAHA!!! Er…*sweatdrops* ahem…right! Any how…please read and review…and don't flame…only constructive criticism…sometimes spell checker doesn't work that well so I would appreciate anyone to point out any spelling or grammar mistakes…thankies!!
Solar Sonata
Summary: After the battle with Sin, Wakka has fallen into a depression, caused by his shaken faith and shattered love for Lulu. Azriel, a Neci (Empathic) angel, and his guardian, must protect him again; this time from himself. Posing as a volley ball coach for children in Besaid while she tries to pull him from his depression, she feels a strange warmth when she is with him. After he confesses his feelings for her, she realizes she has fallen deeply in love with him. But the laws of Heaven forbid love between human and angel, punishable by exile and damnation, and her brother, Loki, a fallen Hani (prankster) angel trying to redeem himself by becoming the guardian of Rikku, tries to convince her of the pain of human love. Will she give up her divinity to be with Wakka, or will she continue painfully watching him from afar, as he found another love, or worse? This fan fic will be written in Azriel and Wakka's POV.
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There is a legend that every angel gets his wings when a couple falls in love, but that's untrue. They are born with them. Yet, when an angel falls in love for the first time, the heavens rejoice and there is celebration in the world. It is a very happy time and one that happens rarely, for love is what makes an angel an angel, giving them powers of goodness and light multiplied ten-fold. But what good is an angel with a broken heart? They have lost the love which they need in their life. It is what makes the wings turn black and powers to which they own turn from light to darkness. It is what causes an angel to fall… That is why it is forbidden for any angel to fall in love with a mortal.
~*Skye*~
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Chapter 1 – An Awkward Arrangement (Wakka's POV)
It was a conceived lie!! My life, my faith, my love, all nothing but an inveracity that was crammed in my face. Everything within the Teachings of Yevon, it was an utter betrayal and falsehood; I had believed in it and it governed my every thought or movement. It shattered, as quick as if it had been an Aeon hastened away by a summoner. Everything I thought was the truth had been a veil blinding my sight. I felt betrayed and was absolutely devastated. I could not even brandish the emotion that followed when Lulu told me that she didn't really love me. She was only manipulating and using me, until someone else, more appealing and far more obtuse than I could ever be, appeared in her life. More than devastation surged from my heart; I wanted to die. I was prepared to embrace oblivion.
Brooding over these heartaches, my mind suddenly wandered over how I was to inform the village boys that had joined the little league blitzball team I was coaching that I was resigning blitzball, for good. That the exception, everything was situated; the note had been written, my belongings distributed among my closest friends, the poison was sitting next to my bed…it's almost over. Soon all this pain and suffering will go away. Who would miss me anyway? I didn't see her approach me, I was too occupied with wallowing in my own self-pity.
"Why so glum?" I craned my neck to see, a young and attractive girl kneeling down next to me, her neck crooked to the side and her dark jade and hazel flushed eyes coruscated with concern. I have to say, she did look…well, cute, for lack of a better word, with her mahogany hair pulled into two pony tails on both sides of her head. I studied her, from the way that the strands of her bangs lay, to her thick dark eyelashes that accented the dance of deep jade and hazel that was her eyes, her rosy, full lips that looked so sweet, it almost seemed unnatural for them to see a frown. She blinked for a moment in dubiety, still anticipating my reply.
"I…I don't really wanna talk about it, ya?" I tore my gaze away. No, I can't take another person in my life, it would just sour in the end, like Chappu, like Yevon, like Lulu. I forced myself to hold back the warm and aching tears that were suddenly welling up in my eyes. I still saw her, in the corner of my eye. She bit her bottom lip, appearing as if she were about to burst into tears and weep with me. I returned my attention towards her again, not noticing that the tears were already pouring out of my eyes. I detested when girls cried; it left me with a feeling of shame.
But there were no tears; she only put her arms around my neck and lay my head on her shoulder, tenderly stroking my face as a mother would comfort her child. The sensation of having someone actually showing me compassion for the pain I was feeling was alleviating, although, the sensation I felt when she held me was total comfort, like I had known her all my life. I don't understand why but I burst into tears in her arms, wrapping my arms around her exposed, svelte waist. I held her so snugly; I thought I almost squeezed the life out of her.
"It's alright; I'm not gonna leave you," she murmured soothingly, her lips barely brushing against my earlobe. Her voice, though she must have been younger than I, sounded mature and maternal. My childish sobbing began to diminish hearing those words pass her lips, as if she had known what pain I was going through.
"They…lied," I managed to say between sobs. "Everything in my life has become a lie."
"It's in the past; it's time to heal and pick up the pieces, moving on into the unforeseen future." She shushed me; it was all too strange how she spoke to me as if she were some celestial being that had been watching over me. The tears became less and less as I propped my head against her soft, delicate shoulder. It had been a very long time since I had been held, and it was a comfort to know a complete stranger actually cared about my wellbeing.
I recovered from my crying spell and reluctantly released her from my embrace, tears still staining my face. Her lips drew up in a large grin, a beautiful sight to behold and I couldn't help but return a smile.
"Hey! I know what'll cheer you up!" She beamed, her jade and hazel-mixed oculars radiating jovially. "Do you know how to play Volley ball?"
I shook my head to her query, and she giggled excitedly. "Then you'll be my first student! My names A…Renée!"
"I'm Wakka," I scratched the back of my head, what I usually do whenever I get embarrassed or nervous.
"Well come on, lets go! The net just got set up and the team tryouts won't be 'til tomorrow!" Renée sprinted towards the other side of the beach where indeed a net had been set up, and two cones on each of the opposing sides, setting the boundary of the volley ball court. Her appearance seemed oddly familiar; she had two blue bandanas tying her pony tails up tightly and hanging precariously long the sides of her head, a green halter with yellow stripes on the side, and a pair of exceedingly-short denim shorts that hugged her form treacherously.
It made me curious, have I met her before? She seemed very familiar, but somehow at the moment it didn't matter. I hastily joined her as she dragged a large green duffle bag towards the net. Out of the duffle bag, she pulled a curiously round white ball, a little smaller than a blitzball from her bag. She tossed it to me, and surprisingly, it was extremely light. "That is a Volley ball! Don't be deceived by its light nature, it's been known to cause injury," with that sentiment, she chuckled slightly.
"Is it anythin' like blitzball?" I asked with genuine interest. Hey, it was a sport, might as well enjoy it!
"Dunno! Never played blitzball before," She shrugged, "even though I have seen some games, just never interested me."
"What?!" Never played? Never interested her?? "You gotta be kiddin'! Everyone likes blitzball, ya?"
"Well, I'm not everyone," she chortled, flinging her long mahogany ponytail behind her shoulder. "I don't like the idea of being pelted by a bunch of bulky guys; makes for too many hospital bills, don'tcha know?"
"Ya don't know what you're missin'," I couldn't suppress the chuckle rising in my throat; Renée had an infectious cheerfulness, and it appeared that there was no way that I could be miserable around her. It was wonderful to be reminded what it felt like to be alive. Everything wrong seemed to melt away when I was near her; I had almost forgotten why I desired death.
She began explaining the rules of the game, enthusiastic about her game as I had been about blitzball. She also demonstrated to me how to serve the ball as I stood by admiring the strength in her arms. We played a few practice games, ending with my mouth full of sand and her giggling at how ridiculous I looked. Finally, I dropped down on the sand, both of us laughing and carrying on like two little children.
We continued playing around; Renée poured sand on my head, forcing me to get on my feet and chase her down until we were both breathless. She had done as she promised; she had taken away the pain for a brief and breathtaking moment. After, a while, we just lay in the sand, admiring the beautiful majesty of the sunset.
"Wakka," her melodious voice broke the silence. I tore my attention from the sunset, gazing at the delicate features of her face. "I had fun today! My friends are usually too busy to have fun."
"We're friends, ya?" I interjected, without realizing that I had grasped her hand in mine. Understanding what I had just done, I felt my face colored with awkwardness. She only giggled, finding it amusing that a large man such as myself could get embarrassed so easily. She gave my hand a reassuring squeeze.
"It's okay; I think friends should be loving and affectionate." She guaranteed, a large grin painted across her innocent face. "It builds emotional support for one another, making a stronger bond between them."
Those words stuck in my mind, and her face with them. I don't think she knew it, but she made me feel like I was significant to her and the world. Now, Yevon and Lulu didn't matter to me anymore. I had met someone worthwhile, who could be strong when I was weak. I needed a friend, and she found me.
It became night all too soon; I wanted the day to last forever because I was happy. But like all things good, it had to end sometime. We walked, hand and hand, back to Besaid, laughing and joking the entire way. But as soon as we arrived, I didn't want to let her go; deep down inside me, I was afraid if I did, that I would lose her the same way as I had lost everything else important to me.
I guess she knew what I was feeling because she smiled at me and requested, "Would you walk me home? I don't like walking alone in the dark."
Of course, I jumped at the opportunity, "Lead the way, ya?"
We talked on the way, mostly about the Teachings of Yevon and how they were complete falsehoods to mankind. She told me that she worshiped a greater being, a being that was simply named God. I tried to dissuade her from worshiping a God that she had never seen by revealing my association with Yevon and the discovery of his lies. But she refused to acknowledge my opinion saying that she didn't believe, but she knew that God was real. She hadn't seen him, but she knew in her heart.
"Never seen him, ya? How do ya know that he's real, ya?" I quizzed her keenly, anticipating her wordless expression.
"You knew Yevon was real, and you had never seen him before," She swiftly replied.
"Yeah, but when I saw the real Yevon it wasn't what we were brought up to believe, ya?" I argued intensely; I wasn't about to let her follow the same path I had trudged years ago.
"God isn't like that; he doesn't require you to give up machina to receive salvation, nor does he ask for human sacrifices," Renée's mahogany locks swayed about as she shook her head.
"Human sacrifices?" I arched a brow at her testimony.
"You know, the summoner," She responded to my inquiry. I never realized summoners were like that, but she was right; they were used as sacrifices. Yet, still remembering my experiences, I was too stubborn too hear her words about her God, and continued to pressure her into disbelief. Finally, in irritation of my outlook on religion, she grunted, "Can we change the subject, please?"
"Uh…sorry," I apologized, and continued with my nervous habit. "You're not from Besaid, ya? Where are you from?"
"We call it Eden," She grinned about the subject, as if her home was the most interesting topic in all of Spira.
"Eden, ya? I never heard of a place in Spira called Eden," I shook my head, but I was interested to listen to her regarding from where she came.
"That's because it's not in Spira, silly!" Renée giggled at my ignorance. "It's far beyond Spira, in a more distant plane."
"I don't believe there is anyplace beyond Zanarkand," I remembered how treacherous the ruins of Zanarkand were; few could cross it alive. But of course, that was before the Eternal Calm and perhaps there were other lands beyond Zanarkand that no one had known were there before. We were silent the rest of the way; the silence was disconcerting for me. I pondered the thought that I may have insulted her somehow and was going to apologize, but I had not realized that we had arrived at our destination.
"Well, this is where I stay," she sighed staring with uncertainty at her home that was only a small, tattered, and porous tent near Besaid harbor. I grimaced, this is where she lives??
"No, you ain't stayin' here," I protested, staring at the rag called a tent in disgust. "I have plenty of room, you can stay wit me, ya?"
"Please, Wakka, I don't want to intrude. I'll be just fine here," she tried to reassure me; but, typically, I was as obstinate as a jackass and refused to take no for an answer. I will never regret being stubborn at that juncture; it was the least I could do for her, for all she had done for me. She smirked and shook her head the mahogany locks tossing about her face.
"Well, I guess I have no choice, since you're practically twisting my arm." She smirked drolly, offering my hand a pleasant squeeze. It was in those past few moments that I realized what an idiot I was being for wanting to take my life, pissing and moaning about people betraying me and Renée had absolutely nothing but a raggedy old tent she called her home; she had more reason to take her life, then I had to take mine. Yet, she was perfectly contented with her life. She was a perfect example that you could have nothing and still be happy, a perfect example for me.
I released her hand and wrapped my arm around her shoulder as we walked to my home that just happened to be few berths away from the harbor. As we entered the doorway, she extended her arms and let out an exhausted yawn.
"What a day!" She exclaimed as she plunked down on my bed, her gorgeous mahogany locks spread across the crumpled blankets of the unmade mattress like the flowing of autumn leaves in the night wind. She glanced over at me with her two dreamy jade and hazel mixed oculars. "So where do you want me to sleep?"
"On my bed, ya?" After realizing what I said, my face flushed red. Me and my big mouth! I thought silently to myself. She'll probably think I am trying to …
"But where will you sleep?" She sat up from the mattress and blinked dubiously; her head tilted slightly to the side as she gazed at me.
"On the floor," I walked over to my bed and seized a pillow and a blanket from it, sighing with relief that she hadn't taken my words to heart.
"But won't you be uncomfortable?" Her eyes again coruscated with concern. I only shrugged, and started making myself a pallet on the ground.
"It don't bother me," I flashed her a reassuring grin. "Besides, you're a lady, ya? It wouldn't be gentlemanly of me if I made you sleep on the floor, ya?"
It was her turn to blush. "I…I'm not a lady," she murmured, "Just a female, nothing special…nothing like you…"
I was without words; this innocent young creature before me actually thought I was special and she was nothing. Who told her such bilge? I traipsed towards her and knelt down, grasping her diminutive, porcelain hands in my enormous bronze hands "But you are a lady, Renée, and you are special…to me, ya?"
"Don't sleep on the floor; it isn't right," her jade and hazel eyes scintillated with a grave luster; she reached out with one of her delicate hands and caressed my cheek. I was taken aback with how gentle and how genuinely concerned she was with me. There was something about her that drew me to her, not her angelic beauty, but something else, a connection of some sort. She simply smiled softly and stoked my face, "Why don't we share it?"
Her words shocked me; share the bed?? "Uh…I don't think it would look right, ya?" I tried to dissuade her.
"If you sleep on the floor, then I will sleep on the floor. Besides, what are you worried about; its not like we're gonna have sex or somethin'!" I swallowed as the word *sex* came out of her innocent mouth. She looked too naïve to even know what coitus was. She noticed my uneasiness and placed a soothing hand on my shoulder, "Does it bother you that we sleep in the same bed together?"
I blanched as she said those words; doesn't she realize what she's saying? Or was my mind still corrupted by the relationship that Lulu and I had, which was, in her case, based solely on sex. If the latter was true, and I capitulated to her request, then I would end up corrupting her innocence; I would not be able to sleep until we had intercourse. That's the way Lulu had trained me to be, and it was an addiction that had taken me months, after she left, to recover from; however, I had not completely recovered from it. In reality, the craving was always there, lurking. I was apprehensive about lying in bed next to her for that reason.
"It does…I can't….I just don't want the temptation, ya?" I scratched the back of my head nervously, even though I tried to appear unruffled by the situation. She only narrowed her sparkling oculars.
"I'm not *her*…" Her tone sounded low and forced, and I found myself cowering slightly from the power she held in her voice. Yet, I found myself wondering, who did she think I was comparing her to? Lulu? How could she have known? Was it that obvious?
"I'm…sorry…"I found myself whimpering, going into a familiar submissive role that I had once portrayed behind closed doors. Her glare softened back to the kind, angelic face that had greeted me earlier that day.
"It's not your fault," She flashed a reassuring smile. "I'll sleep on the floor."
"No. What kinda person would I be, making a guest sleep on the floor, ya?" I tried to reason, but, as I later came to find out, it was like arguing with a brick wall. She gazed up at me with those jade and hazel blended eyes, and I just couldn't refuse her.
"Fine...but whatever you do, sleep at arms length…I don't want ya to be suffocated in your sleep if I roll over on you, ya?" I joked with a slight chuckle. Her face lit up almost immediately, and that beautiful smile I so loved returned to her lips. She then begin to unravel the bandana's from her ponytails allowing the mahogany locks to fall lushly down her back, the loose waves cradling her face. She no longer assumed the form of a naïve adorable young girl, but a lovely mature young woman.
I clinched my eyes shut turning away from her, fighting the yearning to resume my old behaviors of my previous relationship; seducing Renée was not an option. Upon reopening my eyes, I realized she was no longer sitting on the bed, but now snuggled underneath the covers of my bed, hugging her pillow securely, her eyes closed and her expression peaceful. I heaved a sigh of relief and with both a pillow and blanket in my hands, and crept stealthily to the opposing side of the bed in order to make a pallet on the floor, sighing with relief that I could escape the temptation.
"What are you doing?" Her voice, as angelic sounding as it was, startled me; I blanched and stood frozen like a child caught in the middle of mischief. I gradually turned to see that she had not fallen asleep as I had assumed. I started again with my nervous habit, sheepishly grinning from ear to ear.
"I…I was just about to get ready for bed, ya?" I laughed still scratching the back of my neck. She smirked defiantly, and patted the empty part of the mattress next to her. I knew I had to comply; still after she went to sleep, I could always sneak on to the floor, making sure to get up in the morning before she did.
I removed my arm guard and the rest of my blitzball gear, laying carelessly on the floor next to my bed, and reluctantly climbed into the bed, wearing only my denim shorts, lying down beside her pulling the covers over me. As soon as I was on my side facing her, she did something that changed my life and my heart forever. She reached out and cupped my face in her hand, "Good night, Wakka. I love you,"
I lay there, staring at her in shock of the words, she…loved me?? Perhaps she had meant it as love between friends? Or was there something more to it than that? I pondered the possibilities long after she went to sleep. Maybe I wanted her to love me, I thought to myself, but…NO!! I can't allow it, I won't allow it!! If I start to love her, then I will lose her the way I lost Lulu…It was a friendship nothing more. I will never love her, no matter how much she loves me…its better that way
I turned over on my back, and slowly slid my self to the end of the bed, but before I could even attempt rising from where I lay, Renée rolled over and wrapped her arm around my neck, her hair cascading across my bronzed chest. Great, I thought myself. I'll never get to sleep now.
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YAY!!!! I did it!! I actually completed the chapter!!! o.O Did you actually think that I would make them do the big nasty??? Not in the first chapter……..not on your life!! You'll just have to wait and see what happens in the next chapter…Guarding the Guardian!! Maybe make it a lemon, maybe not until the third or fourth chapter. Well anyways, I hope you liked it…don't worry, there will be more to come soon enough; maybe if I get say……….10 reviews… then I will post the next chapter… till then…toodles!!! ^_^V
Only thing I own in this story is Azriel, Loki and the rest of the angels. Of course I don't own Final Fantasy X, Squaresoft, or any of the characters in this story…U.U wish I did…cause then I would kill Lulu off and replace her with her with FFX-2's Paine! MUHAHAHAHAHA!!! Er…*sweatdrops* ahem…right! Any how…please read and review…and don't flame…only constructive criticism…sometimes spell checker doesn't work that well so I would appreciate anyone to point out any spelling or grammar mistakes…thankies!!
Solar Sonata
Summary: After the battle with Sin, Wakka has fallen into a depression, caused by his shaken faith and shattered love for Lulu. Azriel, a Neci (Empathic) angel, and his guardian, must protect him again; this time from himself. Posing as a volley ball coach for children in Besaid while she tries to pull him from his depression, she feels a strange warmth when she is with him. After he confesses his feelings for her, she realizes she has fallen deeply in love with him. But the laws of Heaven forbid love between human and angel, punishable by exile and damnation, and her brother, Loki, a fallen Hani (prankster) angel trying to redeem himself by becoming the guardian of Rikku, tries to convince her of the pain of human love. Will she give up her divinity to be with Wakka, or will she continue painfully watching him from afar, as he found another love, or worse? This fan fic will be written in Azriel and Wakka's POV.
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There is a legend that every angel gets his wings when a couple falls in love, but that's untrue. They are born with them. Yet, when an angel falls in love for the first time, the heavens rejoice and there is celebration in the world. It is a very happy time and one that happens rarely, for love is what makes an angel an angel, giving them powers of goodness and light multiplied ten-fold. But what good is an angel with a broken heart? They have lost the love which they need in their life. It is what makes the wings turn black and powers to which they own turn from light to darkness. It is what causes an angel to fall… That is why it is forbidden for any angel to fall in love with a mortal.
~*Skye*~
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Chapter 1 – An Awkward Arrangement (Wakka's POV)
It was a conceived lie!! My life, my faith, my love, all nothing but an inveracity that was crammed in my face. Everything within the Teachings of Yevon, it was an utter betrayal and falsehood; I had believed in it and it governed my every thought or movement. It shattered, as quick as if it had been an Aeon hastened away by a summoner. Everything I thought was the truth had been a veil blinding my sight. I felt betrayed and was absolutely devastated. I could not even brandish the emotion that followed when Lulu told me that she didn't really love me. She was only manipulating and using me, until someone else, more appealing and far more obtuse than I could ever be, appeared in her life. More than devastation surged from my heart; I wanted to die. I was prepared to embrace oblivion.
Brooding over these heartaches, my mind suddenly wandered over how I was to inform the village boys that had joined the little league blitzball team I was coaching that I was resigning blitzball, for good. That the exception, everything was situated; the note had been written, my belongings distributed among my closest friends, the poison was sitting next to my bed…it's almost over. Soon all this pain and suffering will go away. Who would miss me anyway? I didn't see her approach me, I was too occupied with wallowing in my own self-pity.
"Why so glum?" I craned my neck to see, a young and attractive girl kneeling down next to me, her neck crooked to the side and her dark jade and hazel flushed eyes coruscated with concern. I have to say, she did look…well, cute, for lack of a better word, with her mahogany hair pulled into two pony tails on both sides of her head. I studied her, from the way that the strands of her bangs lay, to her thick dark eyelashes that accented the dance of deep jade and hazel that was her eyes, her rosy, full lips that looked so sweet, it almost seemed unnatural for them to see a frown. She blinked for a moment in dubiety, still anticipating my reply.
"I…I don't really wanna talk about it, ya?" I tore my gaze away. No, I can't take another person in my life, it would just sour in the end, like Chappu, like Yevon, like Lulu. I forced myself to hold back the warm and aching tears that were suddenly welling up in my eyes. I still saw her, in the corner of my eye. She bit her bottom lip, appearing as if she were about to burst into tears and weep with me. I returned my attention towards her again, not noticing that the tears were already pouring out of my eyes. I detested when girls cried; it left me with a feeling of shame.
But there were no tears; she only put her arms around my neck and lay my head on her shoulder, tenderly stroking my face as a mother would comfort her child. The sensation of having someone actually showing me compassion for the pain I was feeling was alleviating, although, the sensation I felt when she held me was total comfort, like I had known her all my life. I don't understand why but I burst into tears in her arms, wrapping my arms around her exposed, svelte waist. I held her so snugly; I thought I almost squeezed the life out of her.
"It's alright; I'm not gonna leave you," she murmured soothingly, her lips barely brushing against my earlobe. Her voice, though she must have been younger than I, sounded mature and maternal. My childish sobbing began to diminish hearing those words pass her lips, as if she had known what pain I was going through.
"They…lied," I managed to say between sobs. "Everything in my life has become a lie."
"It's in the past; it's time to heal and pick up the pieces, moving on into the unforeseen future." She shushed me; it was all too strange how she spoke to me as if she were some celestial being that had been watching over me. The tears became less and less as I propped my head against her soft, delicate shoulder. It had been a very long time since I had been held, and it was a comfort to know a complete stranger actually cared about my wellbeing.
I recovered from my crying spell and reluctantly released her from my embrace, tears still staining my face. Her lips drew up in a large grin, a beautiful sight to behold and I couldn't help but return a smile.
"Hey! I know what'll cheer you up!" She beamed, her jade and hazel-mixed oculars radiating jovially. "Do you know how to play Volley ball?"
I shook my head to her query, and she giggled excitedly. "Then you'll be my first student! My names A…Renée!"
"I'm Wakka," I scratched the back of my head, what I usually do whenever I get embarrassed or nervous.
"Well come on, lets go! The net just got set up and the team tryouts won't be 'til tomorrow!" Renée sprinted towards the other side of the beach where indeed a net had been set up, and two cones on each of the opposing sides, setting the boundary of the volley ball court. Her appearance seemed oddly familiar; she had two blue bandanas tying her pony tails up tightly and hanging precariously long the sides of her head, a green halter with yellow stripes on the side, and a pair of exceedingly-short denim shorts that hugged her form treacherously.
It made me curious, have I met her before? She seemed very familiar, but somehow at the moment it didn't matter. I hastily joined her as she dragged a large green duffle bag towards the net. Out of the duffle bag, she pulled a curiously round white ball, a little smaller than a blitzball from her bag. She tossed it to me, and surprisingly, it was extremely light. "That is a Volley ball! Don't be deceived by its light nature, it's been known to cause injury," with that sentiment, she chuckled slightly.
"Is it anythin' like blitzball?" I asked with genuine interest. Hey, it was a sport, might as well enjoy it!
"Dunno! Never played blitzball before," She shrugged, "even though I have seen some games, just never interested me."
"What?!" Never played? Never interested her?? "You gotta be kiddin'! Everyone likes blitzball, ya?"
"Well, I'm not everyone," she chortled, flinging her long mahogany ponytail behind her shoulder. "I don't like the idea of being pelted by a bunch of bulky guys; makes for too many hospital bills, don'tcha know?"
"Ya don't know what you're missin'," I couldn't suppress the chuckle rising in my throat; Renée had an infectious cheerfulness, and it appeared that there was no way that I could be miserable around her. It was wonderful to be reminded what it felt like to be alive. Everything wrong seemed to melt away when I was near her; I had almost forgotten why I desired death.
She began explaining the rules of the game, enthusiastic about her game as I had been about blitzball. She also demonstrated to me how to serve the ball as I stood by admiring the strength in her arms. We played a few practice games, ending with my mouth full of sand and her giggling at how ridiculous I looked. Finally, I dropped down on the sand, both of us laughing and carrying on like two little children.
We continued playing around; Renée poured sand on my head, forcing me to get on my feet and chase her down until we were both breathless. She had done as she promised; she had taken away the pain for a brief and breathtaking moment. After, a while, we just lay in the sand, admiring the beautiful majesty of the sunset.
"Wakka," her melodious voice broke the silence. I tore my attention from the sunset, gazing at the delicate features of her face. "I had fun today! My friends are usually too busy to have fun."
"We're friends, ya?" I interjected, without realizing that I had grasped her hand in mine. Understanding what I had just done, I felt my face colored with awkwardness. She only giggled, finding it amusing that a large man such as myself could get embarrassed so easily. She gave my hand a reassuring squeeze.
"It's okay; I think friends should be loving and affectionate." She guaranteed, a large grin painted across her innocent face. "It builds emotional support for one another, making a stronger bond between them."
Those words stuck in my mind, and her face with them. I don't think she knew it, but she made me feel like I was significant to her and the world. Now, Yevon and Lulu didn't matter to me anymore. I had met someone worthwhile, who could be strong when I was weak. I needed a friend, and she found me.
It became night all too soon; I wanted the day to last forever because I was happy. But like all things good, it had to end sometime. We walked, hand and hand, back to Besaid, laughing and joking the entire way. But as soon as we arrived, I didn't want to let her go; deep down inside me, I was afraid if I did, that I would lose her the same way as I had lost everything else important to me.
I guess she knew what I was feeling because she smiled at me and requested, "Would you walk me home? I don't like walking alone in the dark."
Of course, I jumped at the opportunity, "Lead the way, ya?"
We talked on the way, mostly about the Teachings of Yevon and how they were complete falsehoods to mankind. She told me that she worshiped a greater being, a being that was simply named God. I tried to dissuade her from worshiping a God that she had never seen by revealing my association with Yevon and the discovery of his lies. But she refused to acknowledge my opinion saying that she didn't believe, but she knew that God was real. She hadn't seen him, but she knew in her heart.
"Never seen him, ya? How do ya know that he's real, ya?" I quizzed her keenly, anticipating her wordless expression.
"You knew Yevon was real, and you had never seen him before," She swiftly replied.
"Yeah, but when I saw the real Yevon it wasn't what we were brought up to believe, ya?" I argued intensely; I wasn't about to let her follow the same path I had trudged years ago.
"God isn't like that; he doesn't require you to give up machina to receive salvation, nor does he ask for human sacrifices," Renée's mahogany locks swayed about as she shook her head.
"Human sacrifices?" I arched a brow at her testimony.
"You know, the summoner," She responded to my inquiry. I never realized summoners were like that, but she was right; they were used as sacrifices. Yet, still remembering my experiences, I was too stubborn too hear her words about her God, and continued to pressure her into disbelief. Finally, in irritation of my outlook on religion, she grunted, "Can we change the subject, please?"
"Uh…sorry," I apologized, and continued with my nervous habit. "You're not from Besaid, ya? Where are you from?"
"We call it Eden," She grinned about the subject, as if her home was the most interesting topic in all of Spira.
"Eden, ya? I never heard of a place in Spira called Eden," I shook my head, but I was interested to listen to her regarding from where she came.
"That's because it's not in Spira, silly!" Renée giggled at my ignorance. "It's far beyond Spira, in a more distant plane."
"I don't believe there is anyplace beyond Zanarkand," I remembered how treacherous the ruins of Zanarkand were; few could cross it alive. But of course, that was before the Eternal Calm and perhaps there were other lands beyond Zanarkand that no one had known were there before. We were silent the rest of the way; the silence was disconcerting for me. I pondered the thought that I may have insulted her somehow and was going to apologize, but I had not realized that we had arrived at our destination.
"Well, this is where I stay," she sighed staring with uncertainty at her home that was only a small, tattered, and porous tent near Besaid harbor. I grimaced, this is where she lives??
"No, you ain't stayin' here," I protested, staring at the rag called a tent in disgust. "I have plenty of room, you can stay wit me, ya?"
"Please, Wakka, I don't want to intrude. I'll be just fine here," she tried to reassure me; but, typically, I was as obstinate as a jackass and refused to take no for an answer. I will never regret being stubborn at that juncture; it was the least I could do for her, for all she had done for me. She smirked and shook her head the mahogany locks tossing about her face.
"Well, I guess I have no choice, since you're practically twisting my arm." She smirked drolly, offering my hand a pleasant squeeze. It was in those past few moments that I realized what an idiot I was being for wanting to take my life, pissing and moaning about people betraying me and Renée had absolutely nothing but a raggedy old tent she called her home; she had more reason to take her life, then I had to take mine. Yet, she was perfectly contented with her life. She was a perfect example that you could have nothing and still be happy, a perfect example for me.
I released her hand and wrapped my arm around her shoulder as we walked to my home that just happened to be few berths away from the harbor. As we entered the doorway, she extended her arms and let out an exhausted yawn.
"What a day!" She exclaimed as she plunked down on my bed, her gorgeous mahogany locks spread across the crumpled blankets of the unmade mattress like the flowing of autumn leaves in the night wind. She glanced over at me with her two dreamy jade and hazel mixed oculars. "So where do you want me to sleep?"
"On my bed, ya?" After realizing what I said, my face flushed red. Me and my big mouth! I thought silently to myself. She'll probably think I am trying to …
"But where will you sleep?" She sat up from the mattress and blinked dubiously; her head tilted slightly to the side as she gazed at me.
"On the floor," I walked over to my bed and seized a pillow and a blanket from it, sighing with relief that she hadn't taken my words to heart.
"But won't you be uncomfortable?" Her eyes again coruscated with concern. I only shrugged, and started making myself a pallet on the ground.
"It don't bother me," I flashed her a reassuring grin. "Besides, you're a lady, ya? It wouldn't be gentlemanly of me if I made you sleep on the floor, ya?"
It was her turn to blush. "I…I'm not a lady," she murmured, "Just a female, nothing special…nothing like you…"
I was without words; this innocent young creature before me actually thought I was special and she was nothing. Who told her such bilge? I traipsed towards her and knelt down, grasping her diminutive, porcelain hands in my enormous bronze hands "But you are a lady, Renée, and you are special…to me, ya?"
"Don't sleep on the floor; it isn't right," her jade and hazel eyes scintillated with a grave luster; she reached out with one of her delicate hands and caressed my cheek. I was taken aback with how gentle and how genuinely concerned she was with me. There was something about her that drew me to her, not her angelic beauty, but something else, a connection of some sort. She simply smiled softly and stoked my face, "Why don't we share it?"
Her words shocked me; share the bed?? "Uh…I don't think it would look right, ya?" I tried to dissuade her.
"If you sleep on the floor, then I will sleep on the floor. Besides, what are you worried about; its not like we're gonna have sex or somethin'!" I swallowed as the word *sex* came out of her innocent mouth. She looked too naïve to even know what coitus was. She noticed my uneasiness and placed a soothing hand on my shoulder, "Does it bother you that we sleep in the same bed together?"
I blanched as she said those words; doesn't she realize what she's saying? Or was my mind still corrupted by the relationship that Lulu and I had, which was, in her case, based solely on sex. If the latter was true, and I capitulated to her request, then I would end up corrupting her innocence; I would not be able to sleep until we had intercourse. That's the way Lulu had trained me to be, and it was an addiction that had taken me months, after she left, to recover from; however, I had not completely recovered from it. In reality, the craving was always there, lurking. I was apprehensive about lying in bed next to her for that reason.
"It does…I can't….I just don't want the temptation, ya?" I scratched the back of my head nervously, even though I tried to appear unruffled by the situation. She only narrowed her sparkling oculars.
"I'm not *her*…" Her tone sounded low and forced, and I found myself cowering slightly from the power she held in her voice. Yet, I found myself wondering, who did she think I was comparing her to? Lulu? How could she have known? Was it that obvious?
"I'm…sorry…"I found myself whimpering, going into a familiar submissive role that I had once portrayed behind closed doors. Her glare softened back to the kind, angelic face that had greeted me earlier that day.
"It's not your fault," She flashed a reassuring smile. "I'll sleep on the floor."
"No. What kinda person would I be, making a guest sleep on the floor, ya?" I tried to reason, but, as I later came to find out, it was like arguing with a brick wall. She gazed up at me with those jade and hazel blended eyes, and I just couldn't refuse her.
"Fine...but whatever you do, sleep at arms length…I don't want ya to be suffocated in your sleep if I roll over on you, ya?" I joked with a slight chuckle. Her face lit up almost immediately, and that beautiful smile I so loved returned to her lips. She then begin to unravel the bandana's from her ponytails allowing the mahogany locks to fall lushly down her back, the loose waves cradling her face. She no longer assumed the form of a naïve adorable young girl, but a lovely mature young woman.
I clinched my eyes shut turning away from her, fighting the yearning to resume my old behaviors of my previous relationship; seducing Renée was not an option. Upon reopening my eyes, I realized she was no longer sitting on the bed, but now snuggled underneath the covers of my bed, hugging her pillow securely, her eyes closed and her expression peaceful. I heaved a sigh of relief and with both a pillow and blanket in my hands, and crept stealthily to the opposing side of the bed in order to make a pallet on the floor, sighing with relief that I could escape the temptation.
"What are you doing?" Her voice, as angelic sounding as it was, startled me; I blanched and stood frozen like a child caught in the middle of mischief. I gradually turned to see that she had not fallen asleep as I had assumed. I started again with my nervous habit, sheepishly grinning from ear to ear.
"I…I was just about to get ready for bed, ya?" I laughed still scratching the back of my neck. She smirked defiantly, and patted the empty part of the mattress next to her. I knew I had to comply; still after she went to sleep, I could always sneak on to the floor, making sure to get up in the morning before she did.
I removed my arm guard and the rest of my blitzball gear, laying carelessly on the floor next to my bed, and reluctantly climbed into the bed, wearing only my denim shorts, lying down beside her pulling the covers over me. As soon as I was on my side facing her, she did something that changed my life and my heart forever. She reached out and cupped my face in her hand, "Good night, Wakka. I love you,"
I lay there, staring at her in shock of the words, she…loved me?? Perhaps she had meant it as love between friends? Or was there something more to it than that? I pondered the possibilities long after she went to sleep. Maybe I wanted her to love me, I thought to myself, but…NO!! I can't allow it, I won't allow it!! If I start to love her, then I will lose her the way I lost Lulu…It was a friendship nothing more. I will never love her, no matter how much she loves me…its better that way
I turned over on my back, and slowly slid my self to the end of the bed, but before I could even attempt rising from where I lay, Renée rolled over and wrapped her arm around my neck, her hair cascading across my bronzed chest. Great, I thought myself. I'll never get to sleep now.
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YAY!!!! I did it!! I actually completed the chapter!!! o.O Did you actually think that I would make them do the big nasty??? Not in the first chapter……..not on your life!! You'll just have to wait and see what happens in the next chapter…Guarding the Guardian!! Maybe make it a lemon, maybe not until the third or fourth chapter. Well anyways, I hope you liked it…don't worry, there will be more to come soon enough; maybe if I get say……….10 reviews… then I will post the next chapter… till then…toodles!!! ^_^V