Disclaimer- The Potterverse does not belong to me, but JK Rowling.
Loveless- A Harry Potter Founders One-Shot
He was gone. He really was gone.
It was hard for her to imagine him gone. For had he not always been there? It had always been the four of them. The four of them together, creating Hogwarts. Creating the most wonderful things. Creating happiness, creating courage, creating endurance, creating intellect.
She had never loved him. Amidst the teetering relationships of the four of them, platonic or something more, that was one solid fact she knew. Her love had never gone out to him. And his, her. That was something else she knew for sure.
He had been her close friend. They talked to one another about the four's friendship. Together they planned the school's architectural designs, while Godric and Helga worked on the schedule. Curricular material had been something long debated, and when finally brought together, was more a work of art than knowledge.
Of course, to Rowena, all knowledge was a work of art. All knowledge had a deeper meaning, if one looked close enough. The simplest of brushes could paint a mind so knowing, so powerful, that its ever-knowing status would be breathtaking.
Overwhelming was another word for it.
Rowena knew first hand the experiences of having an overwhelming fountain of knowledge. She knew her wise nature and complex way of looking things, seeing through things, figuring out the truth behind things, often put others off. She had become accustomed to it.
Those things, those…things were so varying in style and what they just were it was hard to believe Rowena analyzed them all the same way. Those things were the different looks Godric sent Helga whilst they were breaking their fast in the early hours of morning. Those things were the different problems they encountered with the giant squid that resided in the lake. Those things were they many, many different emotions Rowena felt when Salazar exited Hogwarts for good.
Yes, Rowena analyzed her own emotions. It was much more difficult than deciphering others', true, but she did it anyways. It gave her a different outlook on life, one she appreciated very much.
She had felt… disappointed. Rowena had truly wished Godric and Salazar had gotten along, and their differences in their views hadn't crushed the friendship that had once been so strong. Rowena didn't agree necessarily with Salazar, but she couldn't completely shun his views. She did herself, after all, think they should only accept those with a higher knowledge to the school. The others could have perhaps waited until they gained more, or taught them separately entirely.
Of course Godric was being hypocritical in his own right. Hadn't he in the beginning suggested they only accept those whose courage and bravery outshone others'? The only one out of the four who hadn't suggested being selective to a certain specification was Helga.
That was probably one of the reasons why Salazar was in love with her so. She accepted him. It didn't matter to her what his beliefs were. In fact- those beliefs were what made Salazar… Salazar.
And Godric now didn't like Salazar that much. Godric was in love with her too, Rowena thought. The irony of it all. She who wanted peace and everyone to be accepted caused Salazar, whom she obviously loved, to leave, causing anything but peace. Rowena pitied Helga.
Well, she pitied her in only some ways. In others, she was… jealous? No, just envious. That was another thing Rowena felt as she realized that Salazar was truly gone for good. She realized she felt envious of Helga. Rowena wished- though she'd never admit it- that she could be as carefree, as innocent, as Helga.
All that knowledge came with a price.
She, Rowena, enjoyed knowing things. She found enjoyment in being able to answer questions others couldn't. And, she enjoyed- she had to admit- when she proved others wrong. Corrected them. But someone out there had to do it.
And it had always gotten Rowena to where she wanted to be. It had gotten her up with three great magicians, and forming a school in her homeland. It had gotten her a reputation of great wit, and perhaps made her just slightly feared, too.
But it had never gotten her one thing, one thing that she desired- Love. She didn't know she desired it, truthfully, until she saw it in her face. Not quite flaunted, Helga didn't flaunt anything. Neither did she, of course. But still, now that she thought about it, it was so… obvious. Salazar and Helga, that is. She had figured there may have been something between the two.
"Rowena?" She looked up. There stood Helga, her dear friend, looking at her questioningly. Her long golden hair was pulled back, unlike Rowena's earthy colored hair. Helga's eyes, so innocent, seemed to ask her questions, and it was obvious to Rowena how oblivious to the inner turmoil she was causing her Helga was.
"Yes, Helga?" She surveyed her friend, now noticing her worried expressions. What was wrong? Godric didn't leave too, did he?
"I- I was just worried about you, is all. You seem upset," Helga said. Her friend, her dear friend, so worried about others! How she could be so distraught for others while she herself had just lost her love was something so complex that Rowena could hardly map it out herself.
"I've been thinking," Rowena admitted.
"So much you didn't hear me push the door open and walk through?" Helga inquired, surprised. Not that Rowena thinking was a surprise, of course. It was something she often did. But she was normally very attuned to the world around her, especially small sounds like so.
"I…I suppose, dear Helga," she was surprised herself. How quickly the topic of love could make her words stutter! Rowena was truly disturbing herself now, all over her friend who had left her in the first place.
"What, pray tell, have you been pondering?" Helga asked earnestly. Rowena knew she only wanted to help Rowena ease whatever she was feeling, but contrary to how Rowena usually was with sharing her thoughts, this made her…uncomfortable.
How she couldn't be loved for all love's worth. Wasn't that embarrassing?
Rowena just shook her head. Friendship was more important than love. Her friendship with Helga was more important than her feelings of remorse. It was her price to pay, and her price alone. She would not drown anyone, least of all Helga, in her troubles.
"Something I'd say is quite improper for us to speak of right now. I will not let the damned ruin our life as friends, Helga. Or our friendship with Godric."
Helga's eyes, so soft, looked at her kindly, but with disturbance. "Salazar is not one of the damned, Rowena. You and I both know that." Oh, the way she stood up for her love! Kindly, but firmly- Helga was a true friend indeed. And a true lover.
"It was not him of which I spoke." But myself. "Come, Helga. Let us find our way out of the halls."
Helga gave a smile. Not one of naivety, but of knowing- knowing that Rowena wished not to speak of her woes, the woes she hid so well. Perhaps Helga was not as ignorant as she thought.
"Let's." The two women accompanied each other out of the runes classroom, and out of the school. Surprisingly doubting herself in her decision not to discuss her troubles with Helga, she had to keep confirming her belief, the one thing that kept her choice to hold strong throughout her endless doubts.
Hogwarts could not hold true with a selfish teacher, a selfish leader, even if it was just one of them.
She would hold to herself her loveless-ness alone, for that was what she was- loveless- and act as if nothing had ever even crossed her mind on the subject.
Helga needed Rowena to be strong, having just had her love walk away from her, and from her friends.
So, she would pretend. Rowena would pretend. She would pretend that she was not loveless- or rather, pretend that it did not bother her. Ignorance is bliss, after all. Maybe she could take a page or two from Helga's book, for didn't Helga seem happy?
And not loveless. No, certainly not. Her love may have left, but Rowena had half a mind that it was for her own good, what Salazar thought was Helga's own good. Of course, his envisioning of what was good and what wasn't for Helga was a tad warped, she'd say. But it had been out of love.
"Thinking again, Rowena?" Helga's voice rang through her thoughts.
"Yes, indeed." The sun had set, and Helga began to make her way back into the castle. Rowena followed.
If only she had followed her sooner. Then things may have ended up differently.
That's it! The end. No more, no less. It was my first time writing the founders, but I've decided I like the Helga/Salazar pairing, so we may see more in the future. ;)
What did you think of it? Review, please! I love reviews.