Author's Note: #no comment#…sorry…just wanted to put an author's note.
Disclaimer: I don't own the character/s of this fic.
I blinked my purple eyes in frustration, trying to force myself to weep tears that were never there and never will be there.
I stared at my arm, closely examining my wrist, which was now stained with crimson red blood. Embossed on my pale skin were vertical scars and wounds. My hand was numb, probably of blood loss, but it wouldn't kill me. Always down the road and never across the street, they said, referring to the way of cutting. It was a good thing I would always wear long sleeved leotards whenever I walked out of my room. Then, they wouldn't have to notice the marks on my wrist. I've hidden my habit for five years, and I don't plan on revealing it either.
I just wish that for one more time, I could cry without any repercussions. With no one getting hurt.
For five years, I hoped that if I'd experience much pain and suffering, and that I would be able to cry once more, and void my powers. Would be able to feel the tears flow down my cheeks and the bitter taste in the back of my tongue without crashing a lampshade. Would be able to sob between my words that no one can barely make out what I'm saying without gasping for air. Would be able to cry because I'm happy without hurting anyone. Would be able to gain people's pity and not their merciless criticisms about me and my…qualities… I wished that for one more time I would cry myself to sleep; I would cry myself out of my biggest problems; I would cry myself into my dreams, and into my deepest desires. Tears worked in so many ways.
I envied my teammates, but most of all, I envied my little Tamaranean friend. She could cry if she wanted to, laugh whenever she felt like it, and say out loud all of her thoughts and questions and no one would blame or laugh at her. I envied her because she was pretty. Her hair was long and sleek, her figure was tall and skinny, and her features were soft. Compared to me, she looked perfect. Many seemed to think so. I envied her because she was happy and joyful. What I'm doing now, she would never do. Oh, I envied her for many more things.
Many said that tears are bottled up emotions that spill out through your eyes. How ironic. I have no emotions. I think…
I slashed my arm even more, the cuts crossing some of the wounds and opening some of the scars.
The blood dripped to the floor, but I still didn't cry. My teeth were gritted and everything around me started to smash themselves into pieces, I didn't care. No. As long as could feel at least on cold tear on my cheek, I would stop. I don't plan to kill myself……….I only plan to slash myself until I wished it would kill me.
I clutched the blade in a tight fist, the blood dripping down my palms. I could cry anytime I want. Tears can flow down my cheeks once more, but that would never happen without the entire Jump City going into chaos.
I can cry if I want to, but I won't because I don't need to.
I'll just settle with scars and wounds; a cut for each frown and a drop of blood for each tear. And for now, that's all I can do, and that's all I can ask for.
Author's Note: This is a drabble. Isn't it obvious? Okay…just sort of Raven wanting to do something she can do but won't do because others get punished for it. Yeah, that's it pretty much. There was a hint of what pairing I wanted to talk about. A very tiny hint though. Sadista! You know what I mean! Oh yeah…and I can't open my email so pretty much everything sucks right now. It's probably clogged with many messages, but nothing beats your record!