Disclaimer: I don't own Hibiki, though I would have treated it better than Toei did.
Author's Note: I adored the first 29 episodes of Hibiki; the last nineteen… not so much. So for any of my Hibiki fic I'll be trying to capture the ambiance and characterization of the first half of the series, though I might not succeed all that well. Hopefully there are some other Hibiki fans out there who can enjoy! Comments always appreciated.
Human
The lights in the city at night are different from the lights in the mountains. Soft, strange, and very, very human with their unearned sense of reassurance, their false promise that the little pools of illumination will protect everyone from the things in the dark, blinding night vision while offering nothing real in return.
He still likes it, though. Just as he can wander the mountains for nights at a time, and relish the panorama of light in the sky, he can wander the streets and look at the sky and find it right. Sometimes a soft, false security is better than sharp, dark reality. Sometimes human is better than natural.
Not always, but sometimes.
Zanki stumbles, and he stops, stands still as the other Oni latches onto his shoulder to steady himself. He waits patiently while the other man sways, finding his center of balance again.
"Hey, Hibiki." Zanki's voice is steady, his stance firm again, though he doesn't let go, his grip tightening on Hibiki's shoulder. "What am I doing?"
"Walking." Hibiki smiles, taking a slow step forward so that Zanki will have a chance to adjust and keep up even with his slowed reflexes. "Enjoying the evening. Celebrating Christmas."
"Ah, I know that." Falling into step with him again, Zanki stuffs his hands in his jacket pockets. "I'm not that drunk."
"Not yet, no."
It's hard for an Oni to really get drunk, their bodies healing from alcohol as effectively as anything else. It's not often they even get a chance to try, with so much time spent on duty or on call.
But today's a day to celebrate, and Zanki's been acting scared and stressed in his own quiet, stoic way for the past few months, so Hibiki doesn't really begrudge him the indulgence. Besides, he likes unexpected walks outside.
They continue in tranquil, companionable silence, Hibiki letting Zanki choose the pace and the direction. The other Oni goes slowly, carefully, rarely stumbling or swaying, somehow managing to hang on to his usual dignity. There doesn't seem to be any aim to their wandering, just a strong determination on Zanki's part to keep moving, and it's a good half-hour before the man finally stops.
His eyes are clearer, not so weighted by alcohol, but still a bit freer than usual from his determined self-composure.
"Song for you thoughts." Hibiki perches on the guard rail, scuffing his foot over the gravel on the sidewalk. Tilting his head back, he studies the washed-out glow of the brightest stars, the pale luminescence of the streetlights.
"That's all right. They're not worth that much." Zanki shrugs, a slight smile tugging at his lips as he settles down beside Hibiki.
Hibiki waits, hoping the other man will just continue talking without any prompting, but Zanki's one of the most reticent Oni he knows. "Did Todo do something?"
"Not that I know of." Zanki straightens, eyes rising from the ground to meet Hibiki's gaze. "Though I wouldn't put it past him. Why?"
"Because…" Hibiki rocks back and forth. "You're running away from him."
"I am not." Zanki's shoulders tense, his head dropping down again.
"Ah. My mistake, then. Just looked kind of like it. I mean, earlier you were all 'kawaii, kawaii'. Then you see him and Hinaka asleep at their table, and next thing you know…" Shrugging, Hibiki claps his hands together. "Must have just been a misunderstanding. Thanks for letting me join you on your walk."
"No problem. And I guess I can see how it looked a little suspicious." Zanki looks away, at the empty street, sighs, and finally turns back to Hibiki. "I don't know what I'm doing with him."
For a long moment they simply stare at each other, and Hibiki wishes again that Zanki were just a little more talkative. "His training seems to be going well."
"It is. He works hard. He'll be ready to be off on his own in a few months." They're only small things, subtle changes to Zanki's expression, but Hibiki's been working with him long enough to read them. Fear. Frustration. Doubt. "He's just… so damn young."
"Ah. It's a little late to be having second thoughts about that. Besides, he's not really that young. You were about his age, right?" Though Hibiki can't remember Zanki ever looking as young or being as excitable as Todoyama is. "And Akira's going to be even younger than Todo is now when she finishes her training with Ibuki."
"I know that. And I know you were younger than all of us, and that some of the others have deshi who are younger than Todo, but…" Zanki stands abruptly, paces the two strides to the other side of the sidewalk. "He's cheerful. So… brightly happy. And I know he knows what he's getting into. I've told him how hard it is—shown him how hard it is. I've made sure he's seen what happens to Oni who lose their battles. But I still don't know if he really understands."
"He's your first deshi. It's normal for you to worry about him. But I don't think you're giving him enough credit." Hibiki rises, though he doesn't approach the other Oni. "I'd say that he understands, and he's still happy. You've taught him well."
"I tried." Sighing, Zanki turns to face him again. "I tried. It's just… do you ever get the feeling that things are going to go… wrong? Badly wrong?"
Hibiki considers the question. "You mean like… when the puppets are around? That kind of wrong? Evil?"
"No." Zanki looks away, looks back, shrugs again. "Forget I said anything. I think I'm just getting paranoid. We're both getting too old for this job."
"Speak for yourself. I'm not feeling old."
"You also don't have a deshi yet."
It hangs in the air between them, the one issue everyone has with his work, and Hibiki can see the faint wince on Zanki's face that means he didn't mean to say anything.
Oni just don't last long enough. They're usually either dead or too hurt to transform by the time they're thirty-five. Zanki had been pushing things close to the line, waiting as long as he had to finally take a deshi; Hibiki long ago waved goodbye to the line.
And Takeshi can't afford to have fewer Oni, not with how busy things have been getting.
"Don't make that face." Zanki claps a hand to his shoulder. "I'm not enough of a hypocrite to argue with you about it right now."
"I'll take a deshi someday."
Zanki just shrugs again, hands back in his jacket pockets, collar turned up. He starts walking back the way they came.
"I will." Hibiki falls into step with the other Oni. "When I find the right person."
"Oh? And who will that be?" Wry amusement tinges Zanki's voice. "You've sent how many good candidates to other Oni now?"
"They weren't good matches for me." He's not sulking, no matter what it sounds like. "I want someone who really understands what they're getting into, and does it for the right reasons. No desire for vengeance. No hunger for power. No showing off for me. Someone who appreciates the job, and also appreciates the life they currently have."
"Hibiki, you do realize that deshi are human, right?" Zanki's tone is half-teasing, half-serious. "Anybody you choose, no matter how carefully, is going to have faults."
"Like Todo has faults?" It's a bit of a low blow, but so is the patronization in Zanki's tone.
"Ah. Like Todo has faults." There's a softness to Zanki's smile as he repeats it, an acceptance that drains any tension out of the air. "You've just got to choose someone who can make their faults… work."
"We'll see." Hibiki lets the silence stretch, burying the topic firmly before returning to safer ground. "You're looking better, you know. Livelier. Less worried."
"I'm not drunk anymore. Tends to help with that." Zanki studies the ground, smiles briefly. "And… I think Todo's going to be all right."
"Mmm. He's had a good teacher. And he is going to have all of us to look after him." Hibiki looks up, at the stars and their man-made counterparts. "We'll make sure he stays safe."
It's a promise he can't really make, and they both know it. The life of an Oni is too uncertain, too dangerous even with all the help and support Takeshi provides.
But sometimes human softness is the better option.
"Let's get back home before everyone's asleep, huh?"
It takes Zanki a moment to start running after him, the other Oni's reflexes still slower than normal. Only a handful of seconds, though, and then the other man's steps make a nice staccato counterpoint to Hibiki's own.
They make it back to the shop in just over five minutes, and Hibiki laughs as he bends over to catch his breath. It's good to be alive, and it's good to run, and it's good to be home.
Zanki just smiles, but from Zanki, that's enough.