Tori: Ahhh… Back at Komiket. Kickin' back… Makin' money… Watchin' cosplays…

Duo: Getting lost in the subway… Being mobbed… Getting chased by kamikaze pedestrian fangirls…

Tori: Which brings us to a new topic… UchuTosuta has changed it's name to TheKamikazeDucks in honor of our new contract with GunPointArt!

Duet: *for some reason is covered in masking tape; sits down next to Duo behind the table* I was just inducted into the Tape Dispenser Club… *slams head onto the tabletop*

Tori: This is being typed in real time, folks. Please excuse any typos or poor English.

Duet: Nnnnn… *fidgets while Trowa removes the tape binding her wrists together* Last time I say 'Hi' ((A/N: Hai?)) to some weirdo in an Rune costume.

Heero: Duet, that was Rune…

Tori: Rune-baby's here!? And Rath and Thatz?

Duet: You mean Duct Tape, Masking Tape, and Scotch Tape?

All: …

Tori: Go drown in a fire.

~*~Con Down-Time~*~

~*~Staff Suite~*~

Wu Fei: …I will never work another register in my LIFE!

Trowa: That's what I said, and I got put on errand duty.

Duo: HAH! Doesn't THAT suck?

Wu Fei: Register…not so bad.

Tori: So are you enjoying yourselves?

Quatre: On the whole, yes.

All: *nod nod*

Tori: That's good… At least there's some point in being a Gundam pilot…

All: EX!

Tori: Riiight. Ex-pilots.

Heero: Actually, there are a lot of perks.

Tori: Such as?

Heero: Well…

Being A Gundam Pilot

The Pros

Heero: You meet a lot of great people.

Duo: Yeah, and the conventions are a LOT of fun! Especially the serious edge you have over normal cosplayers.

Trowa: I meet dynamic women.

Duet: Named Sarah… WHAP!

Quatre: Trowa, Duet, that's not nice…

Trowa & Duet: S/He started it. *point at each other*

Tori: Any comments from you Quatre?

Quatre: No, I agree with Trowa. You certainly meet great people.

Duet: Named Jenn… WHAP!

Quatre: You've had that coming for a long time.

All: *sweatdrop*

Duo: Anyway, you form some great lasting friendships…

Duet: With people-

All: NAMED KAT!

Duet: How'd you know what I was gonna say?

Tori: *twitch twitch* Are there any other upsides to your career that women?

*awkward pause*

Tori: Duet, that was your cue to say 'men'.

Duet: Huh? Oh. Women?

Tori: … *looks at her* … Any others?

Trowa: … … Ah! *raises hand*

Tori: Trowa?

Trowa: A- Never mind. I forgot.

Tori: *sweatdrop* So what you're telling me is the only good parts about being Gundam pilots are the women and the cosplaying?

Wu Fei: *deadpan* Hey, didn't we have those big robots…?

Duo: Yeah… They were cool.

Duet: I remember ass-stomping quite fondly…

Tori: Well doesn't that count?

Heero: Nah, we don't have them anymore…

Quatre: Blew 'em up.

Tori: There you have it, folks… Not so glamorous now is it?  So, what about the cons?

The Cons

Duo: Like I said, the cons are always great.

Tori: I meant the bad parts…

Duo: Oh. That's a lot easier. Our sponsors suck. They won't let us go anywhere.

Trowa: Like Texas…

All: *sweatdrop* Suuure, Trowa.

Tori: Sarah, if you're reading this, I have a feeling you were the best thing that ever happened to him. *sigh* Well, what else sucks?

Heero: Living arrangements.

Wu Fei: We live in The Middle Of Nowhere and that's the way Sotsu likes it.

Quatre: ^___^* Guys! They do the best they can!

Heero, Duo & Duet: INFIDEL! NEVER SIDE WITH SOTSU!

Quatre: Meep.

Wu Fei: On the other hand, we have great insurance plans because Sotsu claims us as dependants.

Tori: …all you are to them is tax write-offs… and merchandising…

Heero: Thanks for reminding us, Tori. I feel so special I could cry.

Tori: Hey, being a write-off is better than being their bi-lingual pawn…

Duet: But you're our bi-lingual pawn, too.

Tori: What was that great line, Heero?

Heero: "I feel so special I could cry…" ?

Tori: That's it. So, is being a Sotsu employee the only downside now?

Duo: WOAH! BACKUP! Employee? No, my friend. We are copyrighted.

Tori: Same thing. You get a salary and whatnot.

Trowa: Yes, but it's the copyright restrictions that keep us from doing anything. You should know all this…

Tori: Ummm, I never actually cared before, but now I'm curious.

All: *sweatdrop*

Duet: This is possibly the ONLY upside to being copyrighted by Kurokawa.

Tori: That's KUROKAWA-SAN to you, kiddo!

Duet: Kiddo!? You're only 362 days my senior!

Wu Fei: *frowns* I didn't know you could count that fast…

Duet: Desperate times call for desperate measures.

Heero: It's that fight or calculate instinct when someone challenges her age.

Tori: Okay, okay… Anything else?

Quatre: Not really. I mean, aside from the copyrighting, there are few rules that they impose on us that we don't break without a second thought.

Tori: Quatre breaks rules???

Quatre: Quatre is now an American citizen. Some of those rules are just…un-constitutional.

Tori: Such as…?

Quatre: Just rules on where we can go and what jobs we can have… It's like we're on probation and we haven't done anything wrong.

Tori: I see…

~*~*~*~

Tori: Depressing, ain't it? And you thought it was soooo glamorous…

Duo: During the war it was fun!

Duet: …I died…

Duo: Oh yeah… Being a Gundam pilot sucks!

Tori: Being the friend of a Gundam pilot on the other hand… GUYS! Back to the table! Start acting out those doujinshi pairings!

All: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Heero: I suppose you can add "Having to tolerate Tori" to the cons…

Trowa: Quatre, you're my friend. Let's keep it at that…

Quatre: Ditto.

Tori: T___T Now I'm never gonna sell these 3x4 doujinshi!!

Duo: STOP EXPLOITING US!!!!

Tori: ^___^*** Gomen nasi…