AN: Just an odd story thats been spinning around in my head for a while now. I really should write more stuff for the Akatsuki memebers.
~start~
"This whole thing has totally gotten blown way out of proportion. And really, given where your coming from, I understand how you could come to the wrong conclusion. So let me explain to you what really happened, yeah?
"Everything started tonight, or maybe it's yesterday now, around 9pm. I was chilling out playing some video games while my roommate, Sasori, studied for some exam he had coming up in one of his theater classes. That's when we hear a knock at the door, and both of us are all confused wondering who it could be, yeah. So I go to get the door and when I answer it there's this kid standing there, bright yellow hair and totally weird facial tattoos, I can describe him to you in detail later if you like. And this kid is drenched from head to toe, obviously its pouring out, yeah. And this is where everything goes to hell.
"Even with all the rain that's been washing this kid, I can still see that the cuffs of his sleeves are dyed red, and I think he's been painting or something. But the kid is real disoriented and starts saying he needs to use our phone and he's mumbling and I think there must be something seriously wrong with him if he came up three floors of our building to use a phone, plus the whole mumbling thing, yeah. But I feel sorry for him, and I think maybe if there is something wrong with him its better he's here with me and Sasori than someone else in the building who might not be able to handle him, like that single-mom with the new baby in 2-b, yeah?
"So I let the kid in, and Sasori is looking at me like I've lost it for letting him past the mat, but I don't care. And I take the kid to show him where the phone is, but he just kind of stares at it like he isn't sure what to do. So I figure it's up to me to break the silence, yeah. So I ask the kid what kind of art project he's working on, cause I'm big into art too, and he just looks at me like I'm nuts, I got that a lot that night. So I decide to be nice and ask again and I point out that the kid has red paint on his sleeves, yeah, and the kid looks down and just goes postal. Are you getting this? Oh, recording, cool.
"So he goes crazy, yeah. Just starts screaming at the top of his lungs how someone is dead and its all his fault and why didn't anyone stop him, cause I guess there were other people there, and then he curls in on himself and starts rocking in the corner. Now Sasori is in the kitchen with us, cause that's where the phone is yeah, and he's looking at me like he's gonna kick my ass for letting this kid in the door. But now I'm really worried cause this kid is a huge mess and it sounds like someone got killed and I'm thinking we need to get help.
"So I tell Sasori that I'm gonna call 911 and get some help and the kid just lunges at me. It's how I got these scratches here, yeah. So I'm caught completely off-guard cause a moment ago this kid was all curled up on the floor, and Im thrown back and we nock Sasori over as I go down and he hits his head on the counter. It's how he got that bump. And now I'm pinned under this kid and he's just going nuts and I'm trying to block punches, and get myself out from under him, and then all of a sudden the kid is gone and I see him sprinting for the door. And I think, 'Shit, the little punk could really hurt someone' and I tell Sasori so, and we go after him, to make sure noone gets hurt, yeah.
"Well, the kid makes it out of the building before we can catch him, so now we're racing after him through the rain, and the kid is fast, yeah. So we chase him all the way until he reaches central park, and I'm like 'Crap, this is so not where I want to be on a rainy night.' But we keep after him anyway.
"By now Sasori is calling me all kinds of names and I can barely hear him, but the gist of it all is that I'm an idiot and if he's sick for his exam he's gonna kill me, yeah. So now I'm really worried cause we've gotten pretty far into the park and then the kid rounds a bend and we think we're gonna loose him. But when we come around the curve the kid has stopped and is just standing there and we almost crash into him. And it takes us a minute to figure out why he's just stopped moving, but then we see in the distance that there's a body on the ground and this girl is standing over it doing CPR or something, but it's pretty obvious that the body is already dead. So now we know why the kid was ranting about killing someone cause he obviously did.
"And I know it must be some kind of accident cause the kid seemed really broken up about it, yeah. So I go to put my hand on his shoulder to tell him that it will be ok, and I'm sure he didn't mean it. Apparently that was a bad idea though, yeah, cause it snapped the kid out of his stupor. The next thing I know he's flying at me again, and now he's saying that I killed the kid on the ground, I think he said the other kids name was Gaara but it's kind of hard to remember details when someone's trying to beat your head in, yeah. And then the girl is shouting at the kid saying something like 'No! Not again!' but again, head was getting bashed in, little fuzzy on the details.
"I don't know what happened between Sasori and the girl, but he probably said something insensitive about the kid beating me being rabid or something, cause Sasori's like that yeah, and the next thing I know the girl is trying to kick his ass. And she's doing a pretty decent job of it to, she must take Tae-Kwon-Do or something. And that's just about the time that you lovely officers showed up.
"I really do have to thank you for pulling that kid off me, and for the ice, that was very nice too. I understand why you wanted to question me about all this, and why you had to hold me while you were waiting to do so, but I think it's pretty clear that I was just trying to do the right thing here. So I can go home now, yeah?"
The two officers who had been listening to the tale unravel exchanged a look before one of them produced a manila folder and set it on the table.
"That's a very compelling story, Deidara, but you seem to have left out a few parts." he flipped the folder open at this, "For example, you left out why this ATM camera seems to have caught you and Sasori stalking Gaara ten minutes prior to his attack."
"Uhhh, I can explain that, yeah."
"I'm sure you can," he ran a hand through his silver hair, "You also seem to have forgotten the part where you cleaned up your apartment so well before dashing out of it that not a trace of Naruto could be found in it. Though we did find traces of explosives very similar to the ones used to blow up the art department last semester."
"Those were just for a project, yeah!"
"Naturally, but the most confusing part of this is why Gaara himself described you as his attacker after the paramedics were able to revive him."
"Revive…him?"
"Mm-hmm. A little worse for wear, but he'll make a full recovery."
"I think I should call my lawyer, yeah."
"Yes, I think you should."