A/N: I swear…this time I didn't totally come up with this on my own. I had help…-shifty eyes- yeah…I blame The Cloaked Schemer. It's all her fault…she spells her name without an h at the end! She's like…me without an h! Err…anyway, she brought up The Bad Touch…so I got curious and had to find out what it was…so yeah, thanks a lot. As soon as I heard it…it became my vacuuming song. XD and it caused a plot bunny of Fayt sobbing hysterically because he thinks he's perverted…so…I dedicate this to you, o Bad Touch causer! XD

Disclaimer: I don't own…and I sure as hell don't own the song. I'm not even that perverted to think of something like that, although I do like the beat and think it's kinda funny.

Albel opened the door loudly and closed it behind him with one foot. He kicked off his shoes and loosened his tie, letting it fall to the ground. Fayt would pick it up later.

Albel padded into the living room and settled onto the couch, pulling off his socks and grabbing the remote, turning the TV to a sports channel. "Fayt?" Albel questioned, raising his voice so Albel could hear him regardless of where he was.

Fayt didn't answer and Albel frowned. Fayt was always there to greet him when he got home. Fayt usually had some kind of snack made so when Albel came home they could both watch their favorite show together.

After a few minutes of uncomfortable silence, Albel got up and wandered into the kitchen to find himself something to eat, assuming Fayt was out visiting the neighbors.

Albel blinked in surprise as he saw Fayt with his back turned, a sponge clutched tightly in the hand hovering over the counter. He was frozen in the act of cleaning, his whole body shaking.

"Fayt?" Albel asked quietly, slowly walking towards his lover.

Fayt showed no sign of hearing him. He stayed where he was, his eyes wide with fear and his face pale. He stared unseeingly at the wall ahead of him.

'Are you okay?" Albel asked softly, placing a hand on Fayt's shoulder.

Fayt jerked out of his reverie with a scream and a flinch. He whirled around, his fists raised to defend himself, but he dropped them instantly as soon as he saw it was Albel. "Oh god, You scared me," he whimpered.

Albel pulled Fayt into his chest and held him tightly. "I'm sorry, love. I was just worried about you. What were you thinking so deeply about?"

Fayt clutched Albel's shirt and wailed, "I'm a pervert!"

Albel blinked and slowly pulled Fayt away from him to look him into the face to see if he was serious. 'Why would you think that?"

Fayt sniffled. "The Bad Touch is my vacuuming song."

"The Bad Touch? Isn't that a movie?"

"It's a song," Fayt growled.

"Okay, fine. What's it about?"

'It's the Discovery Channel Song."

"The what?"

Fayt sighed patiently. "You and me baby ain't nothing but mammals. So let's do it like they do on the Discovery channel."

"Oh, that song," Albel said calmly. 'Well, I've heard of it but never actually heard it. Is it good?"

"It's perverted,' Fayt hissed. He reached into a drawer and pulled out his iPod. He thrust it at Albel, his eyes flashing.

Albel held the earphones to his ear and listened. "Well, it has a nice beat, Fayt. I see why it's good for vacuuming."

"But listen to the lyrics,' Fayt insisted.

Albel listened and a faint smile crossed his face. "Heh, a corny sex song. That's pretty funny.'

"Not it's not,' Fayt snapped. "I shouldn't be listening to it. I'm not a very good wife."

Albel frowned. "You're not my wife."

"Yes I am," Fayt said fiercely.

Albel sighed tiredly. "You're my husband, Fayt. We're both men unless you've gotten a sex change while I wasn't looking. We've been too caught up in our roles. You're always a home cooking and cleaning and you've begun to think of yourself as the good little housewife. I'm at work all day and I come home just to eat, watch TV and sleep. I've become the typical workaholic husband."

"So?" Fayt asked. "It's good to have our areas of expertise."

"Well, it's not good for that to be all we are. We got married because we love each other. We didn't get married for you to be my maid and me to be your bank. We need to spend some more time together, realizing how much we care for each other."

Fayt brightened. "Okay, we should do that after dinner."

Albel smiled. "I'll help you make dinner."

Fayt scowled. "No, I can handle it."

Albel sighed. 'I don't mean to say that you can't make dinner by yourself, but if I help you, won't it make it easier?"

"No,' Fayt snarled. "I cook better than you."

Albel scoffed. "I'm just as good as you are."

"Well, that may be true. If you give either of us a recipe, we could both read it and make a meal from it. But, since I've had more practice than you, I've memorized our favorite recipes and I don't need to look at a cookbook."

'Can't I do anything to help you? Like chop carrots or something?"

"No. First of all, I don't want to see you with a knife. Secondly, you'll just be in the way. Now go sit at the table like a good boy and wait for dinner," Fayt said firmly, waving a wooden spoon in Albel's direction.

Albel sighed unhappily and sat at the table, scowling at Fayt.

Fayt smiled sweetly at Albel as he placed plates, glasses and silverware on the table with a carton of milk. "Help yourself, love. I'll bring out some salad in a minute and then I'll just heat up the lasagna I made earlier."

They ate in silence, Albel glaring at Fayt over his food. Fayt pretended to be oblivious to Albel's death glares.

Finally they were done with dinner and they both put their plates on the counter. Fayt insisted on washing all the dishes himself and Albel muttered under his breath about how stubborn Fayt was as he plopped himself back down on the couch.

In a few minutes, Fayt came to join him. He curled up beside Albel, tucking his feet under him as he affectionately leaned against Albel. 'What show are we watching tonight? It's your turn to pick."

"Nah, I want to do something else, something more romantic."

Fayt brightened. "A romantic movie?" he darted off the couch to go search for the small collection of chick flicks they owned.

Albel pulled him back down onto the couch. "Something without TV tonight. Just you and me."

Fayt smiled and nestled against Albel. "What should we do then?"

Albel pulled him into his arms. "We need some more romance in our relationship."

Fayt heartily agreed, snuggling up to his love eagerly. "We've been so busy, Albel. The last time we did anything…" He trailed off sadly.

Albel frowned and pressed his lips against Fayt's. Fayt melted into his arms, his whole body trembling as they kissed very gently at first and then more passionately.

Fayt smiled at Albel. "We haven't kissed since last weekend. It's nice."

Albel growled in impatience and pulled Fayt into another more heated kiss. He was rougher, his tongue pushing into Fayt's mouth to stake his claim over it.

Fayt broke away from Albel, panting for air. "You're a good kisser, Albel. Is that why I married you?"

Albel smiled secretively. 'There's more to love than kissing."

Fayt's eyes widened with delight as Albel began to unbutton his shirt. "Really, Albel?" he asked excitedly. "The last time we had sex…it was at least a month ago, maybe more."

Albel kissed Fayt's cheek. "That's too long. We need to change that."

Fayt's comfortable flannel shirt and sweatpants were quickly cast aside. It was a little difficult because Fayt wouldn't stop clinging to him, but Albel managed.

Fayt's face was flushed with pleasure as Albel gently pushed himself into Fayt's body. He had to go slow and be gentle since it had been a long time and he needed to get Fayt used to sex again. He marveled once again at the fact that they had gone so long without having sex. When they were dating and first married, even a few days without sex seemed like an eternity, but now that they were comfortably married for almost ten years, the time slipped away without them really noticing.

Fayt panted softly, a look of absolute bliss written on his face. He kept his arms tightly wrapped around Albel as he sought more kisses.

Fayt's climax was wordless, with just a sharp cry and a look of utter ecstasy. Albel held him close as Fayt was filled with the sudden urge to snuggle close to him.

Albel stroked Fayt's hair. "Feels nice, doesn't it?"

Fayt nodded and yawned sheepishly. "It's good, but so tiring. Maybe I don't get enough exercise."

"You do plenty,' Albel admonished. "Now, go to sleep."

"But we'll catch a cold if we don't put on our pajamas," Fayt said innocently.

Albel groaned. 'They're in the bedroom and I'm not getting up. This blanket is warm enough."

"Alright," Fayt said doubtfully. He snuggled up as close to Albel as was humanly possible, just in case. And he drifted off to sleep with the sounds of Albel's soft breathing.

Hours later, Albel stirred and began prying off Fayt's embrace.

"What's wrong?" Fayt whimpered.

"I have to go to work."

"Oh." Fayt considered. "I didn't hear the alarm go off."

"the alarm's in our bedroom."

"Oh no. I won't have time to get up and make you breakfast then."

"Relax, Fayt. I'll have cereal."

"But-" Fayt protested, starting to rise.

Albel pushed him back down into bed. "Stay there. Let your ass have time to recover before you get up. I'll be home at five." He kissed Fayt's cheek and then departed off into the bedroom to grab his clothes.

Fayt blushed faintly at the reminder of last night's activities and he burrowed further into the blankets. It was nice to sleep in, but after Albel left, he would have to get up and do his weekly cleaning chores.

Albel returned at five to find Fayt enthusiastically vacuuming. He was singing along to his ipod, loudly and off-key, but very joyfully and Albel hated to kill Fayt's happiness.

Fayt slipped off the headphones as he saw Albel come in the door. "I made popcorn," he shouted over the noise.

Albel nodded and headed into the kitchen. Fayt was still the same as always. He still wanted to be the wife, but there was the bright familiar sparkle in his eyes that Albel hadn't seen for a long time. It reminded Albel that they were still lovers. Perhaps being a pervert was not such a bad thing after all.