A/N: Set to the song Never Too Late by Three Days Grace. Reviews are heavily appreciated, as I've never written anything like this before.
Never Too Late
This world will never be
What I expected
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." You're crying into my shoulder, and I feel my heart break. You feel guilty for coming to me, when on any other occasion you would have ended up passed out in a club. I sigh, letting you bury your head into the crook of my neck. "Don't be, Ash, it's alright, shh..." I'm whispering to the darkness, not knowing if you can hear me above your sobs. It's late and I was half awake when you came into my bedroom mumbling incoherent words in tears about the woman gave up on you. Your shaking is slowly calming into small fits of trembling, and you're beginning to pull away from me. You always do this. Every time you compose yourself back into your mask. But this might be the last time I get to see it, so I watch you open your eyes. I'm in awe of how empty they are as you move to get up from my bed.
My hand reaches out to grasp your wrist before I can acknowledge I even did. Yanking your wrist back, you're rubbing it carefully as if you've been burned. Marked, like the mask you wear was teared away. Your eyes narrow in suspicion. "Stay." I say evenly, requesting rather than ordering. You're still scared, I can tell, as you slowly pull the covers back over us cautiously. I can still see your chocolate brown eyes through the pitch black darkness, and I look away.
"I don't want you to go," I begin, a second later cursing my choice of words. You let out a low whimper, causing me regret at my foolishness. "I don't want you to go back to your room tonight." I add quietly, fixing my mistake. You're looking at me like you're considering it, before nodding in understanding and cuddling up to me. I sigh again, but out of content. You feel safe. That's all I need right now.
I will not leave alone
Everything that I own
To make you feel like it's not too late
The sound of your shallow breaths tells me you've succumbed to sleep. I'm still awake because I need to hear you breathing. I need to know that you're still here, still alive, while I still can. The weight of the world doesn't quite rest on my shoulders, but the heavy burdens of you carry with you every day. I'm glad you're not silent with me. You need me right now, because I'm all you have. No Raife to send postcards, no Aiden to fill a void, no Spencer to be a lover. I hate seeing that you've just become another girl lost in the shuffle. You're not Ashley Davies.
You're another statistic, another fragile mental patient. And tomorrow morning, you'll be just another foster child.
No one will ever see
This side reflected
And if there's something wrong
Who would have guessed it
"Good thing though, Ky, the group home is in Hollywood. I get to scope out Angelina Jolie in my free time." You wink at me the following morning, and I smile and shake my head with a disapproving "tchh". I look at you over the brim of my coffee, watching you fidget with her hands as the air becomes thick and you cast your gaze to the floor. "What're you gonna tell King High?" you question in a neutral tone, but it hasn't gone unnoticed to me that your eyes are brimming with unshed tears.
I grab your hand and give it a squeeze, giving you the only warmth you'd had in months. "I'll say you have some official rockstar business to attend to and you can't waste your time on unworthy commoners like myself," I joke, watching your eyes light up and your nose crinkle in a laugh. I close my eyes temporarily, trying to savor the memory. I don't know how long it'll be until I see it again. My eyelids flutter open and I notice you've left the kitchen and are beginning to pull a suitcase into her car. I watch you struggle with it for a few moments before moving over to help you. You doesn't say thanks, and I'm happy you don't.
The world we knew won't come back
The time we've lost we can't get back
I know this is the part I'm supposed to start to say something eloquent and suited for the situation. I can't think of words, and looking to my right you can't, either. You're biting your lip as tears swell to the point of a stray one falling down your cheek. I'm not compelled to wipe it away, unlike the many other times during sleepless nights.
Before I know what I'm doing I'm holding you for what I hope won't be the last time, and you're gasping for air to control the sudden trembling in your body and the lump in your throat. "Take care, I'll see you," I mumble lowly, not aware if you heard me. If you did, you're not letting on as you doesn't say a word and get into your car. I'm a little gratified, just a little, because you didn't say good bye. I don't think I could handle the finalizing words, even when I see your car speed off into the distance.
Even if I say
It'll be alright
Still I hear you say
You want to end your life
The sterile smell and the blinding white walls are foreign to me, but apparently not to you. I let out a shaky breath and clutch my sweaty palms. I don't know what I'm going to say. It's been months since I last saw you, hours since I received the call. They haven't told me your condition. I hate that I wasn't there for you when you blended in perfectly into the crowd so no one would notice the signs. I hate that I wasn't there to be the only one to see you, to really see you. I can't help but think it was my fault. I should have kept in touch somehow.
Now and again we try
To just stay alive
Maybe we'll turn it around
'Cause it's not too late
It's never too late
I wasn't here to reach you. I was too late. I swallow and wonder what it felt like to choke down all those pills simultaneously. I wonder if you thought of me when everything went black as your foster parents walked in on you on the bathroom floor.
This world will never be
What I expected