Hi dad,
I don't know when they'll give you access to your e-mail account but i felt like sending you one. You know, lately i've been thinking about mom, a lot. You didn't kill her. You know i know that Right? Everything is so messed up right now. It's the end of High school and joe wants me to spend a year abroad due to the fact that I will possibly finish college sooner like Iris tend to say "i'm too smart for my own good". But i can't bring myself to leave. My life is here, in Central City. Here, I can visit you when I feel like it( during visits hour:) ), here I can go talk to mom and feel her presence beside me. Here, I have Joe. But more especially, here, I have Iris. I would be nothing without her. She is the reason I'm not a scarred little boy anymore. She believed me when no one else did. Listen to me when I'm going full nerd. Comfort me when I'm sad and she never ever complained. She is my best friend in the whole wide world!
Sometimes it's true, I think about leaving, far. Far away from the pain, the loss, the sadness,the lies… death. But I can't, I just can't.
I remember when I was just a kid, before any of this happened, when we were just one of these families. We were so happy. You were coming from work, I was doing my homeworks in the kitchen, and you came in while mom was cooking dinner, and you kissed her like she was the only girl in the world, in your world. And you were smiling, laughing… Everything was perfect. Everything was normal.
I hope that one day I'll find the perfect be honest, I think I did but I cannot find the courage to tell her how I feel. I'm scared it will change everything and I can't risk it. I cannot lose her. She is my rock, my lightning rod.
Just like mom was yours.
It's raining tonight and it brings me back to that night, and I want you out of there, out of Iron Heights and here, with me, watching some science documentary about god knows what. I want to be able to touch you, to feel you, to hug you, to have a normal Father/son relationship. I just want my life, our life to be back to the way it was with mom, when we build science stuff for the science fair, when I was singing along with mom while making your favorite Mac&chesse, when we used to lay on the couch just the three of us until I fall asleep and you brought me back to my bed after the both of you kissed me Goodnight.
I miss you daddy. I will come to see you very soon. Joe wants me to finish with finals first.
I love you & I miss you,
Barry Allen
A boy really proud to be your son.