A World With Happily Ever Afters
(rough draft)
A Batman fanfic by Raberba girl
Summary: Bruce wakes up one morning to find all his children de-aged, calling him "Dad," and with no memory of their capes and masks.
Part 1
Bruce Wayne woke up just after 5:00 a.m. to the sound of a baby crying.
'Why is there an infant in my bedroom?' The very next thing he wondered was why a barely dressed Selina Kyle was nestled against him when he hadn't seen or spoken to her in weeks. Also, why a small child was tucked between their bodies, and why an even tinier child was practically plastered to his other side. 'Just how drunk did I get last night?!'
Except that he couldn't recall having ingested any alcohol at all yesterday, nor did he have any memory of being drugged or otherwise mind-altered. As far as he knew, he'd tumbled into bed after patrol as usual, and he'd fallen asleep alone. Selina was skilled, but even if she had sneaked into his bed without waking him, there was no way he would have stayed asleep when the children climbed in.
Selina shifted and grumbled, "Whose kid is that?"
"It's not yours?"
She shot upright and stared at him. "Bruce?!"
"Good morning," he said drily.
"What did you do?!"
"I just woke up! What did you do?"
One of the little boys stirred and mumbled grumpily, "Make Terry be quieeeeet."
Bruce got out of bed and went over to pick up the baby, who looked to be about a year old, from the window seat. Selina rummaged through the closet to find a dressing gown to throw over her tank top and panties. They met again in the middle of the room, Bruce bouncing the baby but having little success in quieting him.
"He's probably hungry," Selina said.
"Do you have anything to feed him?"
"No! Why would I?"
"You brought them here, didn't you?"
"No! I didn't even bring myself here!"
The smaller child in the bed sat up and yelled, "DON'T FIGHT!"
"Sorry," Bruce and Selina apologized in unison.
The older child sat up, too, looking completely at home in Bruce's bed. "Make Terry stop crying!"
"Is this your brother?" Bruce asked helplessly.
The little boy gave him a strange look but didn't answer, instead scooting off the bed and heading into the bathroom to use the toilet.
"I'm bored," the other child announced. "I'mma go help Alfred make breakfast." He trotted past Bruce and Selina out of the room; both of them stared after him in complete confusion.
"...Cat, please tell me you have any idea what is going on."
"I do not, Bat."
They both had to pee, too. By the time they caught up with the children, the older one was kneeling on a countertop, fiddling with the controls for the stove; the younger one was on the opposite counter, dumping way too much oatmeal into a pot; and the baby was screaming.
"Okay, no. No no no no no," Bruce said, thrusting the baby into Selina's arms so he could scoop the boys off the counters. "Do not touch the stove. Alfred's still sleeping, so I will make you something to eat."
"I want oatmeal!"
"Yes, yes, I will make you oatmeal."
"I thought you couldn't cook," Selina said skeptically as she pulled some applesauce out of the refrigerator for the baby.
"I can follow recipes," Bruce huffed, turning the oatmeal box to find the instructions. 'If they're easy.'
"Daddy, don't put cinnamon in mine!" the older child piped up.
Bruce froze, then looked down at the little boy. "I'm not your- ... What's your name, chum?"
"YOU FORGOT MY NAME?!" the child shrieked, and Bruce felt irrationally terrible.
The younger boy laughed. "Daddy forgot your name, Timmy!"
"Shut up, Damian!" the other boy yelled, nearly in tears.
Bruce gaped. "D...Damian? Tim?" Now that he was suddenly thinking of them as people he should recognize rather than random strangers, he could see it. Their facial features were a little different, and Damian was slightly fairer than he ought to be while Tim was a bit too dark, but they were still recognizable as Bruce's sons. Bruce exchanged a wide-eyed look with Selina.
"See?! He DIDN'T forget my name, Damian!" Tim shouted vindictively.
"...I'll make you oatmeal in a few minutes," Bruce said, whirling to grab some clean bowls and spoons instead. "Have some cereal for now. I need to check on your brothers."
"Ooooh, can I have Justice League Blasters? Please please please please pleeeaaase?"
"Yes, yes, all right," Bruce said hastily.
"Really?! YAY!"
After Bruce had gotten the children settled at the table, he hurried upstairs and rushed to Dick's bedroom. Dick was supposed to be in Blüdhaven, his room should have been empty, but there was a warm body occupying the bed. Bruce approached hesitantly and laid a hand on the adolescent child's shoulder.
The boy stirred and cracked open sleepy blue eyes. "Dad...?"
"Dick?" Bruce whispered.
"What's wrong?"
"N...Nothing...nothing's wrong..."
Dick sat up, looking concerned and so, so young. He couldn't have been more than thirteen, possibly fourteen years old. "Are the kids okay?"
'YOU'RE a kid!' Bruce wanted to scream. "It's fine, Dick. Go back to sleep."
"But I'm not sleepy anymore! Thanks, Dad." The boy stretched for a moment and then slipped out of bed.
"Tim and Damian are eating breakfast in the kitchen," Bruce said helplessly. "I'm going to...check on the others..."
"Did you have a nightmare or something?" Dick asked, following him.
"Something like that."
Jason was ten years old, unscarred, and unbelievably sweet - Bruce had never seen him like this even before the crowbar. Cassandra was the same age as Jason and spoke perfect English, albeit with a very slight Chinese accent. Duke was five years old, shy, and called Bruce 'Dad' just like all the others did. Dick's and Jason's physical features were a little off; Cass and Duke looked exactly like they ought to at younger ages.
"Follow the leader~!" Dick cheered, leading the way downstairs. Bruce trailed after them in a daze.
When they reached the kitchen, Bruce found that Alfred was now awake and making breakfast. Selina was feeding the finally quiet baby, as little Tim and Damian bickered mildly over their bowls.
"You took my cereal!" Dick screeched.
"Daddy said we could!" Tim and Damian yelled back.
"I'll buy you more cereal, I can afford it," Bruce said, trying to put a stop to the yelling.
"Can I have Justice Blasters, too?" Duke ventured hopefully.
"If Timmy and Dami get my sugar cereal, then everyone gets my sugar cereal," Dick declared, and was cheered by his younger siblings.
Bruce made his way over to his butler. "Alfred, all my children are under the same roof and tiny."
"So it would appear, sir."
"And there's a baby. An infant, Alfred."
"I shall be sure to make some appropriate purchases after breakfast."
"Are you even a fraction as rattled by this as I am?"
"Absolutely, sir. However, I am sure you'll get to the bottom of it soon, and in the meantime, there are seven youngsters and one exasperated young lady to feed, as well as yourself. Take this to the table, please."
Bruce took the platter of hot food, set it down in front of his de-aged children, then decided to just enjoy them for a little while. The interrogations and tests could wait.
o.o.o.o.o
Bruce Wayne woke up shortly before sunrise to the sensation of his wife kissing him.
They were alone (Timmy and Dami must have gone back to their own beds sometime during the night, which was...a little strange, but Tim was getting older), so Bruce put his arms around the love of his life and kissed her back. "Mmmn... And a good morning to you, too, Catwoman," he said fondly, using his silly but special pet name for her.
"Ready for a jog, Batman?" she replied in kind.
"With you, always."
They never made it into their sportswear. When Selina passed by the crib, intending to check on Terry and then pass him into the nurse's care while she and Bruce were out, she found the crib empty.
She frowned. "Honey, I'm going to go see if Dickie kidnapped the baby again."
"Okay," Bruce called from the bathroom.
Selina made her way to her eldest child's bedroom and eased open the door.
Then she screamed.
The half-naked man in her son's bed leaped to his feet, looking tousled and wild-eyed (and rather handsome, a distracted part of her brain noticed). "What-?! Selina? Wh- Wait, why am I in the manor?!"
"Who are you?! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH DICK?!"
"Huh?"
Selina dashed back out, only to discover, to her horror, that more strange young men were pouring out of her children's bedrooms, some of them armed with mundane items gripped like weapons, others with actual weapons. The one bursting out of Jason's room had a gun.
"BRUCE!" she screamed. "BRUCE!"
Her husband came stumbling out of the master suite; excited servants were clustering at each end of the hall. The strangers, five young men and a teenage woman, all covered with scars and none fully dressed, drew themselves back to back in a defensive ring.
"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH MY CHILDREN?" Selina bellowed, seizing a heavy bronze statuette off the closest table to brandish threateningly.
"What children?" the man from Dick's room protested. "The only one I ever knew about was Helena, and none of us would ever hurt her."
"Father," demanded the youngest boy, who looked to be about twelve, "what is the meaning of all this?"
There was a long pause. "...Damian?" Bruce finally whispered, staring.
Selina gasped. Suddenly, she could see it: Dickie, Jay-jay, Cassie, Timmy, Duke, and little Damian, not so little anymore. Different, very different in some cases, but...her children. Somehow, her children, and it was all wrong and horrible.
Her throat seized, and she could barely choke out, "Where's Terry?"
The not-strangers exchanged wary glances. "Who's Terry?"
"WHERE'S MY BABY?" Selina shouted, and started tearing the bedrooms apart.
She and Bruce, and all the servants, and even the older, warrior-like versions of her kids looked all over the house and grounds, but no one could find a trace of her youngest child. Alfred checked the security system, but there was no sign that anyone had taken Terry out of the house.
"Selina, Selina, I'm sure it'll be fine," not-Dick tried to reassure her. She slapped his hand away, still unnerved by the strangers. Bruce rubbed at the stricken hand in an apologetic sort of way.
"If it was a universe switch," not-Timmy said, sounding far too cool and businesslike about the fact that THE BABY WAS MISSING, "then he's probably just over with our Bruce and the rest of his siblings."
"Bruce with a baby," not-Duke laughed. He was being much too glib about this, too. They all were, except perhaps the Cassandra girl and Dick, but they both seemed more worried about Selina than about THE MISSING BABY. "Wish I was there to record that."
"Bruce's taken care of babies before," not-Dick remarked.
"Not long-term, though," not-Jason snickered. "He's probably just going to stick the kid with Alfred."
"I'm very good with babies," Bruce said, feeling injured. "I love babies."
All six of the strangers paused to look at him oddly.
"...Is it creepy that he looks totally natural saying that with a straight face?" one of them stage-whispered.
"I'm calling the police," Selina said, snapping out her phone.
Bruce looked a little alarmed. "Just about Terry, right? Not the others?"
Selina looked at them all with narrowed eyes. Most of them stared right back, as if daring her to try to ship them off to jail. What was wrong with these people?! They looked like her children, they answered to the same names as her children, but they were so rude and cold, so distant...!
"What is this household's relationship with the police?" Timothy asked, again in that cool, businesslike tone as if he was a detective gathering evidence rather than a teenager caught in a mysterious and disturbing situation.
"What do you mean, what's our relationship with the police?" Bruce asked in confusion.
"Good terms? Bad terms?" Dick clarified. "Do they know your secret identity, or...?"
"Secret what?"
For the first time, the strangers showed signs of true alarm. None of them said a word, but Damian suddenly marched away, and the rest fell into step around him as if they all knew exactly where they were going.
As Selina reported her youngest son missing, Bruce followed the strange versions of his children to his study, where they went straight for the grandfather clock. "Hey, be careful with that," he protested. "It's very old."
They ignored him. "Nothing!"
"Is there no Batman in this world?!"
Bruce felt a jolt at hearing someone other than his wife using that name, and without the loving purr that had always accompanied it before.
"Could be that Batman's someone else here, but in any case, it might be pretty safe to say that this Bruce and his kids aren't part of Gotham's night life." They all looked a little lost.
"I insist on seeing the cave with my own eyes!" declared Damian, who looked the most lost of them all.
Bruce cleared his throat uncomfortably. "Look...it's been kind of a- rough morning, and I am very confused, but...have any of you had breakfast yet?"
They stared at him.
"I haven't, and I'm starving, so I'm sure you're all starving, too. And if you're right about...about coming from some sort of parallel world, then I think Terry and the others really are just fine with my parallel self. We still need to fix this as soon as possible, and we can do that better with full stomachs and clear heads, so why don't we head down to the kitchen?"
They all exchanged glances again. It was amazing, how they seemed to be able to communicate nonverbally, as opposed to all the yelling that was usually involved when his real children worked things out among themselves.
"Okay, Dad," one of them finally said, and they all laughed as if it was a joke.
To be continued...
A/N: I MAKE NO PROMISES, I don't know if I'll continue, I don't know if I'll finish even if I do continue - I got this idea today on a total whim, and started writing it on my tablet because I can't progress on The Birds Who Smile until I've re-organized my notes, but my muse itches to draft because drafting is the only fun part of writing. I was drafting the TBWS prequel on my computer, but then I had to go eat, and I can't use my computer while I eat, so I needed a new story to work on with my tablet, which I can use while I eat. My INTENT is to keep TBWS as my top priority, but there's a chance I'll either abandon it for this fic, or abandon this fic for that one, and who knows what's going to happen with the prequel; so IDK! X'''D
For those who are curious, baby Dick is 13, baby Jay is 10, Cassandra is also 10 (and adopted), Tim is 6, Duke is 5 and adopted, Damian is 4, and Terry is roughly 12 months. Little Jay & Dami will probably have reallydifferent personalities because their backstories in the alternate world are so different than in canon.