Ed Trek
Note: I DEFINATELY do not own Ed, Edd, n Eddy and "Star Trek"
This one shot is definately NOT in the same continuity as "The Grim Ed-ventures of Ed, Edd, n Eddy"! This explains why Edna, Edwina and the Kimono Sisters are not in it. This one shot also references many obscure stuff in "Star Trek".
IN THE EVENT THIS ONE SHOT OFFENDS MANY TREKKIES WHO HAPPEN TO READ THIS, I HAVE ONE THING TO SAY...
"Get a life!"
KID-DING! Just take a joke and enjoy yourselves. I like ya guys!
By the way I'm not a Trekkie... Emma is!
Emma: Hey!
Me: Kid...ding! Just get well soon dang it! oh and "Live long and prosper!"
Emma: thanks and "May the force be with you."
(I give her the WTF look)
--
Captain Eddy starts the opening narration:
"Space, the final frontier. These are the voyages of the starship Eddy-prise. Its 5-year mission: to spawn sequels and spin-offs, to exploit legions of social outcasts, and to make money off this franchise!"
Nazz: Eddy!
"Umm I mean to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life, new civilizations, and new Jawbreakers.
To boldly go where no Ed has gone before!"
Then the theme song to "Star Trek: The Next Generation" plays, mostly because the author likes the theme.
The UCC Eddyprise (NCC-1701) is consisted of it's members, Captain Eddy, Mr. Eddward, Dr. Ed McCoy, Nazz Uhera, Montgomery "Rolfy" Rolf, Jimmy Sulu, Johnny Arex, Plank Chekov, and Sarah Redshirt.
"Stardate: Last Wednesday, we just escaped the wrath of the "butt-monkeys from Uranus", so now we are going to another planet an... HEY! Where's the tribble that I use for a hair piece? Jimmy Sulu, did you know where the tribble went?' Jimmy then appears and says, "Hello" in a effeminate manner"
Mr. Eddward, a pointy eared Vulcan wearing a sock-hat goes to Captain Eddy and says, "Captain, it seems that our encounter with the butt-monkeys from uranus has made our uniforms unsanitary." Eddy then says, "Hmm, you know what? I don't even know if there is a laundry machine on this ship, and what's with the way you're talking Mr. Eddward? Are you from a planet where people don't have any emotions?" Mr. Eddward then says, "No, I'm just a bad actor."
Eddy then says, "I'm bored, Hey "Dr. Stupid", make me laugh!" Then Dr. Ed McCoy then says, "DARNIT EDDY I'M A DOCTOR NOT A CLOWN!" Eddy then says, "Patch Adams was both". Ed was confused and then says "He's dead Eddy!" Eddy then says, "No duh Ed, this trek takes place in the future and not in a galaxy far far away!"
Nazz Uhera then says to Eddy, "Captain, I got a signal from an enemy fleet!" Eddy then says, "Oh great, Klingons! Again!" Ed then says, "My underwear is Klinging-on." Nazz then says, "No, it's Kevin Noonien Singh." Eddy then says, "Oh great, It's going to be "Ed Trek II: The Wrath of the dork"."
Kevin Noonien Sigh appears in a monitor and says, "Greeting Captain DORK! I'm going to get back at you for what happened at Celti Alpha V. Hey is that giant cube flying towards my fleet?... hey... what is that? AAAAHHHHHHHhhhhhhhh.
(A technical difficulties card appears and it shows a Starfleet camera man drunk of Romulan Ale)
Johnny then says, "I have no idea what just happened... umm Jimmy what's with the Tribble?"
Mr. Eddward then suddenly grows a goatee and says, "It seems that I'm suddenly turning evil and I'm about to fight you to the death Captain" Then he pulls out a Lirpa (a Vulcan staff with a blade on it) and accidentally hits Sarah Redshirt and then Eddy pulls out a Lirpa and the two start fighting eachother while this battle music plays.
Rolfy pulls out a razor and shaves off Eddward's goatee and then Eddward says, "Thank you Lietenant Commander, did you get a new signal Nazz?" Nazz then turns on the reciever and he sees Kevin Noonien Sigh covered in make-up, wearing a wig, and sprayed with perfume." Sarah Redshirt then says, "Oh no, Kevin got...ASSIMILATED!" Dr. Ed then says, "He's definately dead Eddy!"
Then the monitor switches to three cybernetic girls who look awfully familiar and then the one who has red hair covering her eyes says, "We are the Kanker. Lower your shields and surrender your ships. We will add your biological and technological distinctiveness to our own. Your culture will adapt to service us. Resistance is futile. Then the one with the blue hair says, "But we well take three of your best men to be our men!"
Eddy screams and he says, "Now this is the only time I encounter alien women WITH my shirt on, I miss the Orion animal women... what do we do?" Sarah Redshirt then says, "Umm I think they're already here an..." Then Sarah Redshirt is grabbed by May Kanker and is injected with a virus, making her assimilated into the collective, Ed, Edd, n Eddy tried firing their phasers at them but the phasers were useless against the Kanker collective so they had no choice but to escape them.
Then they bump into Marie Kanker and she says, "I am Seven of Nine and I want the hunk with the pointy ears" Mr. Eddward then says, "It wouldn't matter anyway, us Vulcans don't feel emotions anyway?" Eddy just grabs Eddward and runs to the transporter room. Eddy then says, "BEAM US UP ROLFY! NOW!" Rolf then does that and ends up assimilated by the Kanker collective.
Soon the three Eds are transported to a unknown place. Mr. Eddward says, "Captain Eddy, despite being a emotional alien, I feel bad for our fallen crew, but at least we escaped the wrath of Kevin Noonien Singh AND The Kanker." Captain Eddy then says, "Yeah yeah Al Gore, just where did Rolfy beam us into?"
Dr. Eddy McCoy then opens a door and the end up in a "ED TREK FEDCON" And then they find themselves surrounded by unkept nerds who act like they've never been this close to a girl before, dressed as the show's characters, and the "trekkies" look at them in awe.
Captain Eddy then says, "This isn't happened... this isn't happening..."
Then the Eds run out the building, being chased by hundreds and hundreds of "Trekkies" Dr. Ed then says,"WE'RE DEAD JIM!" Captain Eddy then says, "SHUT UP ED! And my name is not Jim!"
THE END...?
Coming soon, "ED TREK PHASE II"... yeah right!
But if there would POSSIBLY be a sequel it would be called "ED TREK: THE NEXT GENERATION"
LIVE LONG AND PROSPER!