So. I'm back.
This is a series of drabbles that include wise thoughts and randomness. So I should start by saying that I don't own Avatar: The Last Airbender but it hurts too much. Anyway sorry for any mistakes and grammatic errors but I was lazy so oh well. So this story is just to be funny so just read and don't get offended by anything written. Just laugh it off.
IF YOU ARE A ZUTARA FAN AND YOU'RE A BIT CONFUSED PLEASE READ THE NOTE IN CH. 3
So on with the story.
IROH'S COMPLETE GUIDE TO PARENTING
Ch. 1
How to speak to your kids about… Drinking
Step 1- Find a convenient time.
The scorching sun's heat bit against the Fire Nation. It was the kind of heat that tortured you endlessly unless you cooled off with a nice cold drink. And that is exactly what Sokka was trying to do.
Naturally, when Sokka drank, he did it secretly. Why, you may ask? Well, you see, Sokka has been hooked on cactus juice since he first drank it. Unfortunately, after one sip, chaos and destruction followed him. So Katara had been making sure he was miles away from even one drop of that bittersweet refreshment. However, today was Katara and Toph's "girl's day out". Once Katara's huge grin and Toph's annoyed scowl disappeared from view, Sokka giddily ran towards his secret stash of cactus juice in the Royal kitchen.
"Hehehehe", he giggled as he climbed on the counter and opened the cupboard.
A bright light and the sound of angels singing surrounded the bottle of cactus juice. His eyes grew to the size of dinner plates.
"Oh yeah. Come to papa." Sokka grabbed the bottle and sat down on the counter. He opened the bottle and took a whiff of the aroma.
"Mmmm. Oh yeah baby. You're getting it tonight. Oh yeah!"
Sokka grinned and pulled the bottle towards his lips.
"Nooooooooooo!"
Sokka turned just in time to see a giant red blob pounce on him.
"Ahhhhhahhhhhahh!"
Step 2- Find a private, comfortable place to talk.
Sokka groaned as Iroh picked himself off him.
"Thank Agni. That was close.", Iroh said as he brushed himself off and looked at the bottle in his hands.
Sokka shook the shock from his face and yelled, "What the heck was that for?"
"I apologize Water Tribe Sokka boy, but I could not let you drink this.", Iroh said.
"Why not? It's freakin' hot! I need something refreshingly delicious. Why won't anyone let me freakin' drink in peace?", Sokka yelled.
When he heard the word "drink", Iroh grabbed Sokka's collar.
"Did you just say drink?", he questioned with a wild twitch in his eye.
"Um. Yes?", Sokka answered uncertainly.
"Come." Iroh commanded while half dragging Sokka.
Step 3- State the dangers about drinking.
Sokka sat on a tiny chair with a pout on his face while looking at Iroh in front of him with a poster board and a pointing stick.
"Can I go?"
"No! You must learn about the dangers of drinking.", Iroh said.
"But…"
"No."
Sokka crossed his arms on his chest and pouted even more.
"First off. When you drink, the alcohol messes with your brain until you can't control yourself." Iroh pointed to a cheap stick figure drawing on the board that showed a wild looking boy.
"But…"
"No.", Iroh said with a stern look on his face.
"Next, alcohol can make you addicted.", Iroh said as he pointed to another picture.
"But…"
"God child. Stop interrupting your teacher! What do you want?"
"I wasn't going to drink alcohol. It's just cactus juice."
"Oh.", Iroh said as he took the bottle and sniffed it. "I need to make sure." Iroh took a huge gulp.
"What! No! That's my cactus juice!", Sokka yelled as he pounced on Iroh.
"No!", Iroh yelled. "No takey the deliciousness!"
Sokka kept swinging towards the bottle.
"Stop! Iroh! It's mine!", Sokka shouted as he grabbed the bottle and pulled.
"No! You're underage. You can't drink!"
"Yes I can! It's not alcohol!"
"No! You have your whole life ahead of you!"
"I don't care!"
"Give it back, boy!"
"No!"
"Drinking makes your penis tiny!"
"No it doesn't!"
"It ruins your kidneys."
"I'm not drinking alcohol!"
Step 4- State that you only want what's best for them and give them wise advice.
"I will not let you ruin your life!"
"I'm old enough to choose what I want to do!"
"No, you're just a child!"
"No I am not! I fought a war!"
"I'm not letting you ruin yourself! Give me the bottle!"
"You just want to drink it yourself!"
Iroh looked at Sokka with a disappointed look. "How could you think I would do such a thing?"
Sokka looked at him incredulously, "You just did!"
Iroh looked past Sokka's shoulder and waved, "Why, hello Suki!"
Sokka turned around. "Suki?"
"Ha!" Iroh took the bottle and ran away. "Hehehehe."
"Iroh! Come back!"
"No!". Iroh kept on running.
"Iroh!"
"ABSTINANCE IS THE KEY!"
There you go.
If any of you have interesting ideas of what Iroh should talk to the Gaang about just tell me.
Thanks and Review