The first time Roxanne notices it, Megamind has just kidnapped her from the Metro City New Year's gala. The black gown that she's wearing is fairly plain; she didn't have time to buy a new one this year, so she's dressed the outfit up with plum-colored lipstick and a pair of ridiculously ornate chandelier earrings—
—which Megamind seems oddly fascinated by. He actually does a double-take when he sees them, and she catches him staring at them three times before Wayne shows up to rescue her.
It is in the spirit of curiosity that she spends the next week wearing a variety of eye-catching earrings. She's wearing the pair that she privately thinks of as the 'hologram earrings' the next time Megamind kidnaps her; they're dangling discs of flashy plastic that catch the light in swirls of color.
Megamind stares at them for exactly six seconds and actually blushes when he looks away.
This, Roxanne decides with rather wicked glee, is fantastic. Megamind has a thing for ears. Out of all the kinks she's ever imagined he might have, ears never really figured in her calculations, but now that she knows, it totally fits. Ears. It's—it's like him, really. Strangely...innocent, and oddly cute.
And he's so easy to tease; every time she wears a new and outrageous pair of earrings to a kidnapping, his reaction gets more and more obvious and more and more flustered.
So of course Roxanne has to make sure that she has a new and even more outrageous pair of earrings to wear to each kidnapping—she goes through all of her old jewelry, and then actually goes shopping for more.
In retrospect, the spiked ear cuffs were, perhaps, a shade too obvious.
Megamind goes almost fuchsia when he sees them, his eyes wide and round and his lips parted, and, even when she bites her lip, Roxanne can't hold back a triumphant smile.
She sees the exact moment Megamind figures it out, sees understanding dawn in his eyes, sees his mouth fall open even further—and then he straightens his spine and looks down at her, the very picture of outraged virtue.
"Miss Ritchi!"
Roxanne gives him her best look of innocence.
"Yes, Megamind?" she says sweetly.
Her tone throws him off even further; his mouth works soundlessly for several seconds, his cheeks tinting pink again, and then he points at her accusingly.
"You—!" he says. "You—! You're doing that on purpose!"
Roxanne opens her eyes wide, tips her head—the spikes catch the light like that; she practiced the move in the mirror.
"Doing?" she says. "Doing what?"
Again, Megamind can't seem to manage to form words; this time he makes a series of strangled noises and gestures wildly at her with both hands.
Roxanne raises her eyebrows.
"Do you have any complaints to make about my behavior, Megamind?" she asks. "Please, by all means, tell me. I'm all ears."
Megamind's eyebrows snap together; he glares at her. Roxanne smiles back at him, a sugar-sweet expression with an edge to it.
He growls under his breath.
Roxanne takes a sharp breath, her eyes going wide—an actual honest reaction this time. Wow, that was—an interesting kind of sound. Interesting and, uh—
Her face flushes hot.
Megamind stalks towards her, and for the first time since she started this, Roxanne feels like she's the one who's off-balance.
"Complaints," he says darkly, stopping just in front of her. "You want to know if I have any complaints."
His gaze flicks down to her ears, and, at his side, his fingers twitch, as if he might reach towards her, as if he might touch the spikes, as if he might touch her.
Roxanne takes another sharp breath, and then his eyes flick back to hers again and he takes a half step back, looking away from her.
"I really don't think you're aware of what you're doing," he says, crossing his arms, mouth flat. "Because it is—extremely inappropriate for me to look at you while you're wearing those, Miss Ritchi."
"You're so overdramatic," she says, rolling her eyes, "it's not like I don't know you have a thing for ears."
"A—a thing—for ears—" he shakes his head, covers his face, "that is—really not—"
"You should pierce yours," she says, leaning back in her chair.
His head snaps up and he stares at her, a pink flush lighting up his cheekbones and the edges of his—honestly rather attractive—ears.
"The way your ears are shaped," she says. "They're interesting. Earrings would look good on you."
Megamind makes a choking sound; half distress and half almost hysterical laughter.
"What?" Roxanne says.
"Nothing," he says shortly, and turns away, moves to the console, and begins pressing buttons, "I'm calling Minion; he'll take you home; we'll reschedule this kidnapping for another—"
"Wh—seriously?! Because of my earrings?"
"—entirely inappropriate—"
"Oh, come on, Megamind—"
"—should have had Minion chaperone in the first place—"
"Come on; it's not a big deal!"
"Not to you!"
Megamind whirls to face her.
"I know," he says, words clipped and precise, "that it doesn't mean anything to you, Miss Ritchi. I am well aware that none of your—pretense of flirtation with me—means anything to you. But this is—different."
He gestures, one handed, a sharp, slashing motion.
"What you are doing," he says, "with the—earrings and the—telling me that I would look good in earrings—you are playing out a very specific type of courtship behavior for my—" his mouth twists bitterly, "—species. And to be quite honest, Roxanne, I'd really rather not have to watch you do that when I know that you don't really want me."
Roxanne—feels as if someone's knocked all of the air out of her lungs. She—cannot seem to answer; doesn't know what to say—
Megamind gives her a small, sharp smile that doesn't reach his eyes, and turns back to the console, presses a series of buttons, and then leaves the room without another word.
One of the brainbots comes by with the knock-out spray a few minutes later, and then Roxanne wakes up in her own living room, on her couch.
She sits there silently for a long time, mind working furiously.
Megamind, it seems, was serious about having Minion chaperone the two of them, because the next kidnapping, Megamind is in his chair on the other side of the room from her and it's Minion who removes the bag from her head.
She is still wearing earrings today, but they're a more subdued pair—pearl studs, elegant and demure.
"Miss Ritchi," Megamind says, going through the usual line with somewhat less that his usual enthusiasm, "we meet—"
"I have a present for you."
Megamind stops mid-sentence.
"A present," he says slowly, suspiciously. "For me."
"Yes," Roxanne says. "It's in my purse."
Megamind looks at Minion, his expression uncertain. Minion looks at Roxanne, who focuses on keeping her expression as open and guileless as possible.
After a moment's hesitation, Minion picks up Roxanne's purse from the floor beside her chair and carries it over to Megamind.
Megamind takes it gingerly and glances at Roxanne, as though he's expecting her to stop him. When her expression doesn't change, he opens the purse and carefully searches through the contents.
Surprise flashes across his face when he finds the box—he wasn't really expecting there to actually be a present, Roxanne realizes. He thought she was just messing with him.
Megamind takes the box from her purse and places her purse on the floor.
It's a small box, wrapped in silver paper and tied with a blue ribbon; Megamind turns it over and over in his hands, looking at it as if he's not certain what he's meant to do with it.
A little swarm of brainbots fly to hover over his chair, watching him curiously.
Roxanne bites her lip.
Megamind frowns and unties the ribbon and unwraps the paper, then lifts the lid of the box.
He doesn't know what the things inside are, Roxanne can tell—he picks up one of the two curved pieces of metal and looks at it, frowning perplexedly.
"They're ear cuffs," Roxanne says, and Megamind looks up at her sharply, hand frozen in midair. "For you to wear. If you want to."
The brainbots are making inquiring noises and Minion is staring at her, but Roxanne doesn't look away from Megamind. He still hasn't responded, is just sitting there, eyes wide and fixed on her face.
(the way he said it doesn't mean anything to you and I know that you don't really want me and the bitter twist of his mouth and how he'd slipped and called her Roxanne)
"I was thinking," Roxanne says, and then stops to gather up every ounce of courage and audacity that she possesses. "I was thinking that maybe you'd like to wear them. On a date. With me."
Megamind still doesn't move, save that his eyes go wider. Roxanne glances at Minion, who is staring at her with an expression of shock.
"—Minion can chaperone, if you want," she adds, trying not to let uncertainty creep into her voice.
"I—" Megamind swallows visibly, "—I—"
He looks at Minion.
Minion clears his throat.
"I believe," he says carefully, "that Miss Ritchi is asking if you would like to go on a date with her, Sir."
Megamind looks back at Roxanne, who bites her lip and nods.
He takes a quick, sharp breath.
"—yes," he breathes, "yes, I would—yes; I would like that very much."
Roxanne lets out a relieved breath and smiles at him brilliantly, which he doesn't seem to have been prepared for, given the way he makes a choking noise and flushes.
She gives a small, affectionate laugh, her smile going warmer.
Hesitantly, Megamind smiles back, which makes Roxanne's heart do a rather ridiculous fluttering thing. She feels herself blushing, too.
Minion clears his throat again and moves to untie her.
Roxanne watches, flushed and triumphant, as Megamind takes the ear cuffs from the box—
—and puts them on.
He looks up at her, then, shy and uncertain, the metal ear cuffs glinting.
"I knew they would look good on you," Roxanne says, and Megamind's cheekbones and ears turn an even brighter pink, a wondering kind of smile spreading over his face.
Roxanne feels the ropes fall from her wrists.
She stands up, smiling, and moves towards him.
...the end.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MEGAMIND!
Today, Dec. 17th, is Megamind's canon birthday! And to celebrate, I'm going to post something new for the next nine days, every day through Dec. 25th! (one more one shot story, a story in two parts, and five updates to the conclusion of Safety Instructions Not Included.)
I hope you enjoyed the story, and I hope you are excited for the Nine Days of Megamind!