Author's note: This story I am writing, Caged, it is a story request from a fellow writer. The OC Janice Robin and anything about her is owned by Shiranai Atsune. Now then, let's start...
Dreams. Some people call them fate, destiny even, while others call them an escape. I wish I could be like those people. Having dreams and calling them fate, destiny or an escape, but me, I don't have that luxury of a nice, safe haven. No, I have the honor of something called nightmares. Images of my past when I was a child, the happy moments when my family was still alive, didn't exist, if they do I barley remember them clearly. Memories replay like moving pictures of how they died though. Those, I know, will forever be burn in my eyes, in my mind and my memory. The nightmares never seem to ease or to get better, I've just somewhat learned to live with it now.
The images of a women wearing beat up shoes, a dingy grey shirt and worn blue pants, screaming and running towards me for her life, desperately trying to out run the hideous, the grotesque creature that had only moments ago stepped on a middle aged man, was my mother.
"MOM RUN!" I desperately yelled for her to run faster.
After just witnessing my father push her in front of him, to save her, only to see him fall to the ground from the Titan's feet, shacking the earth he ran on. Not a few seconds later, I see the Titan raise its foot above my father, and brought it down with such force, that his blood sprayed the ground where he just laid moments go.
My mother was running, as fast as she could, but I knew, and for some sick reason I knew she knew too, that she wasn't fast enough to out run this thing, but just fast enough to prolong her death, even by just the few seconds my father have gave her.
I was leaning against an old building with only my head and left hand visible, peaking out from around the buildings corner watching my mother, and to see her look at me with desperate and pleading eyes, made it unbearable for me to watch as the Titan has finally reached her. It reach down for her with blood on the side of its right cheek and dirt smeared on the left. The fingers Wrapped around her waist and lifted her with no effort at all.
Hearing her screaming and crying her lungs and eyes out made it hard for me to breath and to move. I had to run I know this, but I also couldn't leave her alone. I know she doesn't want me to be here and to be running away while it's distracted with her, but I couldn't do it. I couldn't force myself to leave her. I had to see her, even if it was to see her die, she wasn't going to be alone in her last seconds.
The beast opened its mouth and saliva was dripping from the teeth, it lowered its hand and opened its fingers, and just like that, she was gone. A finale scream of desperation was cut off as the Titan closed its mouth and looked around for it's next kill. I quickly moved my head back behind the building, panting heavily after what I just witnessed and started running to the boats, tears were streaming down my face at what had just happened. My hands were clinched as I ran, and they were so tight that my finger nails were cutting into my palm.
How I got to the boats, I have no idea, all I remember was trying not to fall and breath, it was all a blur. I walked to the front of the boat and collapsed down, my legs couldn't take me any further. The burning sensation of my muscles in my legs told me that I had pushed my body too much to ask for anything more from it. This feeling, the burning I felt, not just in my legs but all over my body told me only one thing. I have to survive, I have to. I have to survive for mother, for father and for everyone else that were just like me. Who lost everything to those monsters. I'll survive.
I flew up out of bed as a scream barley left my mouth before I shut my lips to lull the sound in my cheeks. My breathing was labored and I tried to take deep breaths to calm myself. After my breathing was steady to how I liked it, I glanced around the room to see If I woke anyone up, normally I do, but for some reason, here lately, no one has been waking up.
I wander if they were getting use to it, or if they were wearing ear plugs, either way a part of me was glad no one woke up. I felt bad depriving the other trainees of their sleep, no matter how minuscule it was. I took another deep breath and slowly blew it out my nose and laid back down and covered myself up again. It was still dark outside which meant I had at least another three hours to sleep before training started again.
"Hey, do you see her?", I heard some boy say as I was making my way to my training ground.
"Yeah, the girl with the black spikey hair and hazel eyes?", Another boy said.
"Yeah, I heard she is the oldest Cadet here in training", the first boy said.
"What?!, No way! But she looks so small. Well, how old is she then?" The second boy asked.
"Someone told me she's around fifteen"
"Three years older then us, I like em older"
After hearing that conversation I flicked my eyes over to them and saw them turn beat red, then scurry away. 'Boy's, always about hormones' I thought, and shook my head and made it to my training grounds.
I walked up and stood inline in the second row beside a girl named Krista. She was a bit shorter then my 165cm self, and from what I could tell, she was a ball of pure sweetness and kindness.
"Hi, I'm Krista, and you are?", she looked me straight in the eye with her doe eyes and smile.
Sweetness and kindness indeed.
"Um, Janice", was all I said and went back looking up at the front, waiting for the training to begin.
"Janice, pretty name, I like it", she commented.
"Shut up you two! Training is starting.
Running laps was always a good past time for me, It helped to clear my head, but also tire my body so I was able to sleep most of the night before the nightmares take over. The sun was bright, clouds scattered the sky and wind gently blew through the air, creating a nice day for training. After the warm up laps, the trainer yelled it was time for Sparring.
We all ran in our group around base to the sparring field and made a half circle around the instructor.
"Alright listen up, you will be put into pairs, you will spar with them for five minutes, then you will rotate to the left and spar with that person. You will switch partners when I blow a whistle. Is that understood!?" his voice boomed at the last three words.
"Yes sir!" we saluted.
"Even, Jean. Mikes, Krista. Ymir, Janice. Rainer, Armin. Bertolt, Sasha. Get in your pairs and start".
I walked over to the far outer circle and saw the girl named Ymir was just a few feet in front of me.
"Janice right?, well, let's see what you got girl", and Ymir got into a fighting stance.
I walked into the circle and brought my left hand close to my face and my right hand was just in front of my left. My elbows were in close to my ribs and a bent my knees a bit, and just barley got onto the balls of my feet, so if I needed to move quick, I could.
She took three suck steps to me and I side stepped her to the right and brought my left leg up to kick her in the stomach. I made contact but she also crabbed my leg and went to pull me back to her, but I rotated on my right foot and dropped to the ground, kicking up at her with my right leg. She dropped my leg and stumbled back, I used the momentum of my kick to put my hands on the ground and push myself up and spin back into a fighting stance. She turned to look at me after regaining her balance with a surprised look in her eyes.
"Let's try this again", she gestured with her hand for me to make the first move this time, and I happily obliged her.
I took small steps towards her, judging her reaction on my approach to her, and she didn't give anything away. I did a quick one-two step and went to punch her right in the face, but stopped as a whistle blew. I was mere cm from her left cheek and she was looking at my out stretched fist, frozen in mid air.
"Ho-how did you stop in time? I mean that's like not possible", she said as I lowered my hand and took a step back.
"Practice", was all I said and walked to my left to meet my next partner.
I walked maybe ten feet before I saw who my next partner was.
"Hey, I know you, we grew up together right?, Well not together, but same neighborhood right?"
My next partner was Eren, and yeah, he was right. We did grow up in the same neighborhood. I would see him all the time when I was exploring the city. He was constantly and countless times getting into fights our arguments with kids older then him or with adults. He would always wait by the gate every time the Scouts would go out and when they returned. It never failed, even when you could see that their mission was not a success, he would always welcome them back with a smile plastered on his face. A boy filled with naivety, but with such passion, it would make anyone his follower.
"Uh, yeah, Eren right?", I know exactly who he was, but I didn't even think he knows my name.
"Your name starts with a J right? Jaqueline? no you don't look like a Jaqueline. Jacky, maybe?", No wander why he never meets any strangers, he has the personalty to befriend anyone he want's.
"Janice, actually" I told him and stood in front of him.
"Janice...cool, I like it" he gave me a smile and a slight bob of his head.
"So you ready for this? I won't be as easy as Ymir over their"
"Hey! She surprised me that's all!" I looked at Ymir and saw he get tackled by her new partner.
"Robin, Yeager stop talking and fight!" Shadis yelled at us.
"Your last name is Robin, like the bird?" Eren questioned.
"Yeager! Open that mouth of yours one more damn time, and I will have you on kitchen duty!" Shadis barked at Eren.
"Come on" I said to him and got ready to spar.
The day went by fast, too fast for my liking. The sparing matches was a piece of cake, the only people to give me a work out was Mikasa and a girl named Annie. Iv'e seen Mikasa numerous of times, she was always by Eren wherever he went, and saved his butt a few times too when his mouth got the better of him when talking crap to an adult. But the girl, Annie, Iv'e never met her before, nor have I heard anything about her till I saw her as a sparing partner. She was different I could say that, but the thing that got me to notice her besides her fighting, was the look in her eyes.
They were distant, cold and hard. Always looking at any and everything with a look of indifference. She reminded me of me. She had few friends, maybe two or three that I could tell. I didn't really have friends, or anyone really for that matter, which was fine by me, I don't need to get attached to anyone. It's not that I don't want friends or someone to conceder as such, but knowing that once we pick our devision, we won't be together anymore. And if they choose Scouts like me, they wouldn't be alive for long.
So in short, I don't to be distracted by friends to worry over, nor do I want to feel the pain, the heart ache of losing someone I grow close to. I can't, no I won't get attached to someone just to feel those emotions again after losing everyone who was close to me. Mother, father and best friends, losing them was enough to break me, to destroy my mental state and memories, to the point of almost me being emotionless. I still feel, everything, I relive it every night as if I was there again. I can barley manage now after these few years, if I were to lose someone now, I wouldn't be able to make it. I'm strong, that I know, but even the strong have weak points, and mine was losing people.
Time flew by pretty fast, seconds, minutes and hours turned into days, months and years. After everything we trainees went through, it was finally the time to pick where we were going. Military Police, Garrison or Survey Corp.
"Alright, I will now call the top ten of the class, those who have made it into the top ten, you have the luxury of picking Military Police, those who have not made it into the top ten, you will have to pick between the Garrison and the Survey Corp. Now then, First place: Mikasa Ackerman".
Shadis started calling out the names one by one, Eren, Armin, Jean, even Connie made it into the top ten. I was top fifteen at least, 14th place. Shadis walked by all of us and stopped right in front of me.
"If you were more of a team player and not worried so much of showing off your fighting skills, maybe you would have been in the top ten", he said and kept walking.
I don't care if I was a team player, I don't care if I was in the top ten, I didn't care about this training. The only reason I went through with this and waisted my years, was because you couldn't join the Survey Corp without training. But whatever, my end goal was still the same, I stayed after they told us to choose our devision. It was me and a handful of other people. Eren I knew stayed and of course Mikasa and Armin couldn't leave him alone. After the trainees left to pick the Garrison, the Commander of the Survey Corp walked onto the stage. There he was, the man I was soon to be fallowing blindly into battle. Erwin Smith.
He gave a not so heart warming speech to us. But what he told us was the truth, that he could not guarantee that we will all live to see the next day. That we won't grow old and have an easy life. But he did guarantee that our lives wouldn't be forgotten with him or with the other members of the Survey Corp. That our lives were not waisted, that our lives were used to make a difference and bring Humanity closer to freedom. That speech he gave was enough to make me appreciate that he was my Commander. He walked off the stage with a smaller man trailing behind him. Short black hair and walked with just as much confidence as the Commander, was Captain Levi of the Special Ops Squad.