So this isn't really a parody but it kind of is at the same time. I want you to submit me the worst tributes Panem has to offer! Or the "best"….. cough Mary-Sue cough.

You can submit anything really.

Tributes that are too pretty and perfect.

Tributes that are Katniss or Clove or Finnick copies.

Self-inserts that are VERY obvious.

Submissions that are lazy and have bad or unreadable grammar.

Tributes with ridiculous names or names that are too basic for Panem.

Heck, make it incorrect submit a tribute from District 4 who is a lumberjack.

Or you know, do something unexpected and fucked up.

Sally Smith, Head Gamemaker

I walk into the Training Center and go to the lobby's main desk. An Avox receptionist is on the phone, and I'm waiting for her to hang up because it's my first day on the job.

"Yes, yes, yes, alright and will you be staying in the District Twelve suite?" she says, and then says, "Okay, your room is booked. Bye Haymitch!"

She hangs up the phone and says, "Hi, my name is Lavinia. Welcome to the Training Center."

"Hi. Listen Redhead," I say, "Today's my first day on the job and I'm trying to find the fucking control room."

"Oh, right this way Ms. Smith," she says. She takes me down a hallway and down an elevator into a room with all kinds of screens.

"How much do I get paid for this?" I ask.

"For designing an arena? Oh, I think the average wage is around $11.00 an hour."

"That's the Capitol's minimum wage," I say.

"Ya ik," Lavinia says and then goes back to the lobby.

I huff and say, "I left Starbucks for this shit?"

"Sally!" I hear an old man say.

"Oh, hi President Snow. I'm just about to start designing the arena," I say, taking out my computer and plotting random shit on different spots. It's the same program as the Sims, so pretty user-friendly. "I was thinking of the Himalayas Mountain Range this year," I say, "It will have blizzards and abominable snowmen and falling icicles and even an avalanche!"

President Snow shakes his head and says, "No. That's too boring! I want something fun this year. Not a basic arena like last year. That's why Fuckniss Everdeen won. I hate the outdoors. There's all kinds of bugs out there and it gets too humid."

"But in this arena it will be cold. I'll even provide the Cornucopia with lemon sno-cones."

President Snow crumples up my papers and says, "Follow me, I have a better arena."

He takes me to his mansion and shows me on his computer an image of a tan building. It's a huge building made of metal and there's an entrance on the corner. The words "Costco Wholesale" are painted on the side.

"What is this?" I ask.

"Costco Wholesale Corporation, doing business as Costco, is an American multinational corporation which operates a chain of membership-only warehouse clubs. As of 2015, Costco was the second largest retailer in the world after Walmart, and as of 2016, Costco was the world's largest retailer of choice and prime beef, organic foods, rotisserie chicken, and wine," President Snow reads from Wikipedia.

"America doesn't exist anymore, sir," I say, "And everyone knows District Ten is the largest retailer for prime beef."

"Which is why it will be an interesting arena. There are still forests and deserts and shit in Panem. That gets boring. I want the Capitol to be entertained!"

He deletes my arena draft and replaces it with Costco.

SYOT form:

Name:

Sex:

Age:

District:

Physical appearance:
Personality:

Backstory:

Family:
Friends:

Pets:

Reaped or volunteered:

Training strategy:

Arena strategy:

Weapons:

Token:

Anything else: