Disclaimer: All recognizable characters belong to CBS and DPB
A/N: This was written a long time ago and O postponed it simply because I did not have an appropriate title for it. Now that I found one.... here it is. All mistakes belong to me because I was too lazy to send it to my beta. Hope you guys enjoy.
Home
He listened to the soothing beep emanating from the heart monitor on the other side of the bed and watched as her chest rose and fell, with each breath she took. The soft lighting from the corridors cast a warm glow on her otherwise pallid face, except where there were cuts and bruises. She had been asleep for the past three hours, and seven hours before that she had been given Dormicum, a strong sedative, to knock her out so she wouldn't feel the pain from the injuries she had sustained. So far, according to the doctors, she had fared quite well, but the next few hours of rest were crucial to her recovery.
Her tiny, lithe body was lying unmoving on the bed, covered with a light blue blanket, showing only her scratched arms and wounded hands. Her fingers lay perfectly still on the crisp cotton, sterile white sheet, and he immediately feels the need to entwine them with his own, but he dismisses it before he can act on the impulse. Things and circumstances have changed since he left a few months ago, and even in the deep sleep state she was in, he knew she would sense he was near her, trying to reassure her in his own way.
He's not sure of the reaction she'll have toward him though, because the last time she saw him, an argument had started between them and it had resulted in him saying hurtful things to her and making her walk out on him, scathed, damaged and disappointed. He was an ass, and he knew it, but his pride would not have let him admit the fact to her, and so he had let her walk out of his apartment, desolate, and confused as to where exactly they stood with each other. Thinking about it now, it was definitely the dumbest thing he had ever done in his life.
Another three hours pass before a nurse comes to him, placing her hand gently on his shoulder, in an attempt to rouse him from the deep sleep he unwillingly fell in.
"I'm sorry I have to ask you to leave, visiting hours are long over, and the doctor is on his way for his rounds," she explains apologetically, as he nods his head, not really listening to what she is saying.
He lost interest in her talk as soon as she asked him to leave; he didn't hear the rest of it. It takes his normally sharp mind a few seconds to realize that the nurse is still talking to him, and even though he can hear what she's saying, he does not fully understand it.
"How on earth can she ask me to leave when my partner – no scratch that – friend is laying unconscious on a damn hospital bed in an ICU ward," he thinks to himself.
"Wait; when did the status of our relationship change for a downgrade?" he questions himself, as he waits for the nurse to stop talking.
Sure we've had our ups and downs, and lately we've had many more downs than ups, but that did not mean a downgrade in relationship status followed, did it? I mean everyone has those, and that's certainly no reason to just step back and walk away is it?" he asked himself, and before he knew it, he was doubting himself and all the things he had done to her to allow her to be in the position she was in at the present moment. He certainly did not make things any easier when he was away either.
The feel of the nurse's hand on his forearm is enough to bring him out of his thoughts, once again, and he now makes no attempt to hide the lost look on his face.
"I'm sorry, I didn't hear that last part," he admits to the nurse and she gives him a sympathetic look.
She's seen this expression on countless faces in her time, but his is one that somehow gets to her and despite the rules of the ward, she allows him to stay until the doctor arrives. There is something in his expression that rings the siren bells in her head that this is not just some random case... there's definitely more to it than meets the eye.
She had been the one to call the tall, attractive man in when the woman laying on the bed had been brought in almost fifteen hours ago. Aside from the fact that he was listed as her emergency contact, she felt relieved when she saw him walking in through the emergency room doors, the worry etched on his face and the feeling that he was more than just her emergency contact crossed the nurse's mind, though she had seen no engagement or weeding rings on either of their hands.
The sound of heels clicking on the vinyl floors alerted the nurse that the doctor was approaching and she looked at the man questioningly. He shook his head slightly, answering her unasked question; he was not leaving his friend's beside anytime soon. He moved toward the head of the bed, intending to be with her every step of the way; there was no way he was going to leave her to deal with all this on her own.
Silence followed for a few tense minutes, before he saw two heeled feet approaching the bed where he stood and came to a stop at the end of the bed. If she had seen him, she did not acknowledge it, and he in turn did nothing that would disturb her routine.
"How is she doing Nurse Rosemary?" the doctor asked, her blue eyes looking somewhat perturbed as she lifted the radiograph pictures of the patient's chest, arms and face, attempting to have a better look at it in the light.
"She's doing much better than when she was brought in, her vitals are stable and we've had her on a drip for the past two hours, and so far there have not been any complications. Her chest x-rays shows there hasn't been any trauma to the chest and the lungs are inflating and deflating normally. The facial CT scan showed there was no serious damage to her face, except for the bruising and slight dislocation of a tooth. Her MRI revealed there was no harm to the brain as well. Her blood tests were negative for drugs and the rape kit came back negative too." Nurse Rosemary rattled off.
He flinched at the mention of a rape kit, his mind moving at a thousand miles a minute, at what exactly could have happened to her before some kind stranger called 911 and stated the emergency. God, he felt like an idiot.
"So we're just waiting for her to wake up, in other words?" The doctor asked.
"Yep, though I hope it's not too soon, she's going to be in a lot of pain. Whoever was responsible for this really did a number on her…" Nurse Rosemary continued, not noticing the look of pure horror that flitted across the face of the man standing at the head of the bed.
"Has anyone come in to see Miss McKenzie yet, family or friends?" the doctor asked Nurse Rosemary, and he before he knew it, he answered the question before Rosemary could.
"It's Colonel McKenzie," he clarified for her, and the doctor looked up to see a pair of flaming blue eyes staring at her.
"When can I take her home?" was the only question he was interested in having answers to.
He knew Mac, and the last place she wanted people to see her was in a hospital, all vulnerable and having people to look after her. Her marine pride simply would not have allowed it.
"I'm not going to lie to you, there is no sign of physical damage here, but we can only send her home once she's awake and we are sure that there is no mental damage," the doctor replied, not fazed by the tone he used. She was used to being spoken to like that, it came with the job.
"Until then I have a bit of paperwork that needs to be filled in about Colonel McKenzie, which I am sure will keep you busy, Mr…" she was cut short by him.
Commander Harmon Rabb Jr." he finished for her.
"I'm Dr. Anna Forbes," she smiled kindly at him, hoping that it might put him at ease.
Harm followed her to the nurses' station, and waited as she gathered up the relevant documents that needed to be completed. Not for the first time that day, he felt like he was stuck in some kind of nightmare, and he just could not wake himself from it. As she handed him the papers, she looked up at him, and she saw the lost look in his eyes, and how his hunched shoulders mirrored the defeated look that graced his features.
"You look like you could use a cup of coffee," Anna offered, as Harm accepted the offered documents.
"Why don't we head to the cafeteria and get a cup or two, it's not the best, but it'll help," she continued and he nodded in agreement as he realized he hadn't eaten in hours. Coffee sounded like a good idea, but he did not want to leave Mac's beside for a minute.
Anna saw his reaction and she tried to convince him to join her.
"I know you don't want to leave her and go, but you need to get out for a few minutes, just to clear your mind and I promise if there's any change in Mac's condition, Rosemary here will page me immediately." Harm considered the idea and understood that Anna was right; he did need to clear his mind and besides Mac was not going anywhere anytime soon.
"Lead the way," he was trying to be as normal as possible. They took the elevator to the cafeteria two floors below and as they stood in the small square metal box, Harm couldn't help but notice how attractive Anna was.
She was small built, petite, feminine and strong. Her long brown hair tumbled down her shoulders and came to a stop just half-way down her back. Her well built calves were accentuated by the high heels and knee length red skirt she was wearing and her crisp clean white shirt fit her in all the right places. Long graceful fingers were accompanied by perfectly manicured nails. He noticed that while most women he had come into contact with were pale from not seeing the sun too much, Anne had a slight tan and he smiled internally. She seemed to detect the slight smile in his eyes and turned to face him.
He looked into her eyes, and he was thrown completely off balance. They were deep brown, and caring and warm and everything he associated with… MAC. He felt the air rushing out of his lungs as he struggled to breathe and crashed into the wall behind him. This was not part of the plan he had envisioned in his mind. He was in a relationship, not happily at the moment, and Mac was supposed to be with her prince charming and they were supposed to have a happily-ever-after, but here she was, not even aware of the fact that he was by her side, and waiting for her to return to the land of the conscious.
Three cups of coffee and two hours of conversation later, Harm was ready to go back to Mac's bedside. While Dr Forbes had done her best to try and keep his mind off of the woman laying in deep sleep two floors above them, Harm still could not get her out of his thoughts. Mac was a part of him; she was his better half, as he liked to think, though he would not admit it to her or anyone else any time soon.
"Thank you for the distraction, and the coffee, but I would like to return to Mac," he stood up, placed a fifty dollar bill on the table and politely excused himself from Anna.
Upon his return to the ICU, he found Admiral Chedwiggen standing at Mac's beside, accompanied by Harriet, Bud and Sturgis. The look of surprise on their faces at his arrival caught him unaware and he had to admit he had, in recent times, given them a reason to doubt him when it came to Mac and her feelings, his feelings toward her and more importantly her role in his life.
He nodded a silent greeting, not feeling the need to say anything, surely they knew the feeling he was experiencing. They stood in silence for a few more minutes, before Sturgis decided to break the tension.
"It's getting late, and I think we should be heading off, we've been here for almost three quarters of an hour" he said as he slowly moved away from Mac's bedside and toward Harm. Bud followed close behind and Harriet followed suite, all of them trying to reassure Harm, or more themselves, that Mac would recover from this. That left Harm and Admiral Chedwiggen still in Mac's room.
Harm saw the emotion flit across the older man's face, and yet he waited for the Admiral to say something, but Chedwiggen stood silently, just looking at Mac. He knew the older man had taken a special interest in Mac, especially after Harm had left so suddenly, and took Mac as his daughter, always keeping an eye out for her, and Harm knew, Chedwiggen was not going to take this well. They both stood silently, the steady beep of Mac's heart monitor the only noise in the room reassuring them that for now, everything was okay.
The night shift nurse arrived a few minutes later and informed them that visiting hours were long over and they needed to leave. Chedwiggen nodded and obeyed her, but Harm was not having any of it. He was not going to leave until Mac was awake and he was certain that she was fine. An argument soon erupted and Harm had to be calmed down by one of the other nurses. He was about to stalk off toward Mac's bed again, when he was interrupted by Dr. Forbes. She had apparently been informed of the protest he had put up and had come immediately to see what was going on.
He saw her taking the nurse aside and talking to her in hushed tones and one threatening look later, Harm was informed that he would be able to spend the night next to his best friend. He heaved a sigh of relief and thanked Dr. Forbes and then said good bye to Admiral Chedwiggen and promised to call if Mac's condition changed or of he needed anything at all. Just like himself, Harm knew none of the team members were going to find sleep that night, Not Harriet or Bud or Sturgis and definitely not Chedwiggen.
Thankfully the night passed without any incidents and Harm didn't know if he should have been relieved or upset that she had not woken up yet. He had spent most of the night holding her tiny hand in his, and stroking her forehead gently, and urging her to wake up, just for him. He did not even realize when the sun had risen and the nurses arrived for their morning rounds. He was asked, gently, by one of the nurses to excuse himself from the room while she changed Mac's linen and clothes. He used this time to quickly run to the cafeteria and ordered himself a strong cup of coffee, a bagel and two cheese sandwiches, hoping someone would be there to keep him company while he had breakfast.
When he returned to her room an hour later, he was not surprised to find her still asleep, but the expression on her face was peaceful, and he assumed that she was not in any pain anymore. Harm took a seat on the bed and linked his hand with Mac's again, and rubbed his thumb over the back of her hand.
"Hey sweetheart, I need you to wake up now. You've been sleeping for two entire days and frankly I'm getting quite bored being on my own. I need someone to watch my back, to keep me company, to keep me sane. Mac… I need… you," he whispered, and gingerly laid his body next to hers. He missed the slight up turn at the corner of her mouth.
She slowly raised her hand and trailed her fingers up the length of his arm. She had woken about thirty minutes ago, when the nurses had come to change her sheets and she was informed that Harm had been her roommate for the past two days. The nurses offered to page him, but she refused, she wanted to let him know personally. She was grateful he was not there when she had woken up, as it had given her time to brush her teeth and comb her hair and basically primp herself before he returned. She was not going to let him see her in a messy state, as it is he had seen her like that for the past two days.
"Harm…" she paused, waiting for her voice to sink in, two days of silence had seriously impeded her larynx and even to her, her voice sounded strange.
He did not move or respond and she was almost sure he did not even hear her.
"Commander Harmon Rabb Jr, if you do not wake up now, how am I supposed to keep you company?
Harm bolted upright in three minutes, and a grin spread across Mac's face.
"It took you a while," she smiled up at him.
"You're awake," the relief showed in his concerned blue eyes and Mac couldn't help the feeling that grew in her tummy.
"Yeah, I was up about 38 minutes ago."
"And only you would be so precise with the time."
"I can't help it, it's a marine thing" she grinned at him.
Harm felt his heart constrict a little at the sight of her smiling at him, the way she was. It was as though the past few months had never occurred, and they were back to being the way they used to be. He stretched his hand out to reach hers on the bed and intertwined their fingers, a gesture he never thought would be so easy to do.
"Harm," Mac started, but stopped immediately when she saw the look on his face.
"I'm sorry Mac, I was a jerk, I shouldn't have said those things," he admitted, knowing she knew he was referring to their last conversation, which had ended up being a screaming match in the JAG HQ bullpen.
"We were both out of line," she tried to make him feel less guilty, "and besides that was a long time ago, we can't dwell on the past Harm."
He was mindlessly drawing circles on the back of her hand with his thumb and she couldn't help the shiver that ran up her spine as he did so. He lifted his gaze from their hands to her face and cool green met fiery brown, almost knocking the wind out of him. Then of its own accord his other hand arose and planted itself on her cheek, his thumb outlining the scratches that had not yet faded from her face.
"I missed you, marine" he admitted, his voice strained,
"Yeah, I missed you too flyboy!" she shot back, grinning widely, before placing her forehead on his, snaking an arm around his shoulders and pulling him to her.
As he felt her arms tighten around him he realised he was lost and she was home.
I might continue this or I might not, depends if I get a good enough idea of where to take it.
Only my second JAG fic, so please be nice... Reviews are welcome even if you didnt like it.
Also if you are fans of House MD and NCIS, you can check out my two new stories Need a Ride? (House MD) and Anyone but Her (NCIS)
Thanks and have a lovely weekend.
Dyslexic CSI