DISCLAIMER! I DO NOT OWN DIVERGENT, INSURGENT, ALLEGIANT, OR ANY OF THE CHARACTERS PORTRAYED IN THIS STORY. ALL CREDIT GOES TO VERONICA ROTH
Born Protector
All I'm doing is standing still. Christina has collapsed from her grief. This can't be right, of course not. Tris is still alive, her eyes bright and her small body filled with power. I can usually tell when someone is lying though. Cara's not lying. Tris is really gone.
She beat even me at jumping first, the Stiff, who would've thought that a small Stiff would have jumped first? I lay awake in bed for a long time that night, letting my mind wander to what could have been, what was, and what it now is. We could have done so many things, Tris and I. Somehow, amidst my memories, I am able to fall asleep.
The funny thing about grief is that if there's too much of it, it dulls your sense so that you become a zombie. I fear that's what's beginning to happen to me. The only thought occupying my mind right now is Tris, even though I haven't shed a tear. Everyone keeps asking me if I'm okay and I just say yes and keep walking. Don't they know how I must feel? Tris was my world, my rock, and now she's gone. Today is the last day I get to see her. Life is just not fair.
When Christina and I get to the cemetery, a feeling of loneliness seems to wash over the entire others wanted us to go alone, since we knew her the best. It feels wrong to be talking about girlfriend in the past tense. Christina is still grieving for Uriah but she hasn't become a zombie. She is getting better. "I wanted to be here for both of you. She was my best friend, she was like the sister I never had." Christina says. We open the door to the cemetery and I am astounded by how bland the room is. Tris is laid out in the center of a stainless steel table in the center of the room. No one else is there. She is the only light there. She is so pale, just the thought of how cold she must be makes me shiver. I go up to her slowly and look at her peacefully closed eyes. I take her hand in mine and jump at the feeling of her ice cold skin. I begin massaging her hand and that soon turns into clenching. I just want one more words, one more kiss, one more. Is that too much to ask? Christina has tears in her eyes and she leans down and lightly kisses Tris's cheek.
"Bye Tris," Christina whispers and walks out the door. Now I'm left alone, in the pale light, with a figure that used to be and still is my world.
"Tris?" I ask softly. "It's me, Tobias. I just want you to know that I love you and I miss you more than I can bear. I will always love you. I hope that you've met up with Uriah by now. We all miss you so much, especially Caleb. He and I are all alone now. You were my world Tris, and you still are," I say, tears finally coming to my eyes. "Please look at me Tris! Just one more time! You're not just the Stiff that jumped first anymore. You lost that title the second you jumped in front of Al and let me throw knives at you." I smile, thinking of how funny that sentence sounds to anyone but us. "Do you remember that?" I ask. A tear falls from my face and onto her arm. She looks so perfect and beautiful. The bullet wounds are neatly hidden under and gray shirt and pants. Abnegation colors, not what she would have been wanted to be buried in. I get up and search the room for clothes. I pull out a black leather jacket and combat boots. I carefully lift her cold, limp body from the table and half expect her to help me put her jacket on. That doesn't happen. I hold her in my arms for a second before sliding the jacket on over her gray clothes. I pull off her drab shoes and tie up her combat boots. My Tris, all ready for battle once again.
"Remember when I said that I would fight off the bad dreams if they got to you? Well you may have to start doing that for me now," I say, clenching her hand again. She still doesn't wake "I don't want to loose you Tris, I can't handle it!" Tears stream down my face more freely now. "Please wake up Tris! Please!" She just stays there, unmoving and cold on the table, in the clothes I gave her, while I sit by her side and wait for a miracle.
"Wake up!" This time though, it isn't me that says it. Tris grows fuzzy and I suddenly feel dizzy.
"Tris?"I say. The world goes black and I loose sight of Tris.