Where The Heart Is
written by Sammy
There's nobody in this world who can define this little word, love. Love can be everything. Love can be a simple word someone says, love can be a simple object you're given, love can't be defined. This is why it makes it so hard for people to truly understand what a person can mean to you. A soul mate, a best friend, that can be love, too, but sometimes, yeah, sometimes you're just too blind to see, too blind to admit it.
L-O-V-E, those are four simple letters, but together they can be powerful, powerful in each way. They can cheer you up as well as they can hurt you. You probably said it a million times in your life, but how often did this word come right from your heart, how often were you sure that you really meant what these letters should mean?
Chris watched his partner annoyingly shifting the files on her desk from one side to the other. That was what she'd been doing the whole hour since they'd come in for work.
"You trying to get an award for the cleanest desk or what?" Chris asked, leaning back in his chair.
"In contrast to you, I'd like to have a clean desk." she replied through gritted teeth, once again shifting files from one side to the opposite.
"I know you have personal problems, but you better not let suffer work from that."
Rita stopped moving the files. She rested her elbows on the desk and placed her face in her hands.
"That's so much like you, Chris." she exclaimed. "Every time I clean up my desk you think I am having personal problems."
"And 9 of 10 times I am sooo right! You were much more relaxed when you had sex, even when it was with Eric."
"CHRISTOPHER!" Rita scolded at him.
"What? I am telling the truth."
"Personal life means personal, you know what that is? My privacy. It's none of your business with whom I sleep or not."
"It is my business as long as it affects your work. Something has to change, Sam, soon!"
Rita just rolled her eyes in response. She knew exactly she needed a change in her life after all that had happened, but she had no idea where that change could come from. She sighed when she heard someone calling her name. Her head whirled around and she saw Dan Keating approaching her desk.
"Dan?" she asked disbelieving as she went to hug him.
"Long time no see, huh?"
"Oh yeah!"
"Hey Chris."
Dan leaned over Rita's desk and shook hands with Chris.
"Hey buddy, where have you been?"
"California. I am working for LAPD now."
"You couldn't stay out of the business, huh?" Chris chuckled and walked around his desk towards Rita's.
"Once a cop, always a cop. And as I can see you two still work the high profile crimes?"
"Yeah, working the death of the rich and famous in the town of the rich and famous."
"What about you, Rita? You okay? The last time we talked over the phone you didn't sound very good."
"I am doing fine, don't worry."
Rita absently rubbed her shoulder when she saw Officer Cochran entering the squadroom. He was waving a file over his head that Rita had requested down from records.
"Will you please excuse me for a minute?" she weakly smiled at the two men next to her before she left to meet Officer Cochran halfway in the squadroom.
"Tell me, how is she really doing?" Dan asked.
"Not very good. Eric broke her heart, and I honestly don't know if she'll get over it. She's so tensed, the slightest remark can cause her to go over the edge. She wouldn't talk to me though. I've tried everything, but nothing works. All I know is that something has to change really fast. It can't go on like this forever, but I don't know what else I should do."
"I'll talk to her. Maybe I can help. You know, someone she has a little distance to. I think you are too involved in this."
"Maybe I am. If you wanna try, do it. I've tried everything."
"Just you wait."
Rita returned to her desk about half an hour later. To her surprise, Chris was gone, but Dan was still there.
"You waiting for me?" she asked.
"Sure." Dan replied and nodded his head. "Can I talk to you for a minute, in private?"
"Sure."
Rita led Dan to one of the empty interrogation rooms. She closed the doors behind them.
"So," she started, "what do you want to talk about?"
"About you." Dan answered.
He sat down on the table in front of her and looked at her.
"There's nothing to talk about." Rita began rubbing her shoulder. "I am fine."
"You are kidding the wrong person, Rita. I know you, and you are not doing good."
"Okay, it could be better, but I'll survive - as long as everybody doesn't remind me of the past every day."
"I am just worried about you. You are my friend."
Rita sighed, "Why did you come here? It's not only to see how I am doing, is it?"
Dan shook his head, "I have an offer for you."
"An offer? What kind of offer?"
Dan got up from the table and stopped right in front of Rita.
"A job." he finally said and raised his eyebrows, waiting for Rita's reaction.
"Dan, I have a job."
"I know you do, but this one is better. I want you to come to L.A. with me."
"L.A.?" Rita exclaimed, pacing the floor. "Dan, I can't go to L.A.!"
"Rita, please think about it." Dan said again, facing Rita's back. She rubbed her upper arm, sighing.
"I don't know why I should do this, Dan. I mean my life is here in Palm Beach."
"You mean Chris is here." he argued, turning her around. "Face it, Rita. You have to make this decision alone. It's your life, not his."
"Why should I leave everything for a job in L.A. when I can do the same job here?" Rita objected.
"First, it is paid better. Second, you'll get the chance to work with me. Third, you'll be promoted to Lieutenant, and fourth, the working hours are better, I guess."
Rita took a deep breath. She walked away from Dan. A couple of yards away she turned, staring at him.
"I need time. You can't just show up here, drag me out of the squadroom and tell me you have a job for me in L.A. like that. I started my career here, and I don't think I can just go and give up everything I have achieved here."
Dan shook his head, "The last time we talked on the phone you sounded so miserable. You helped me straighten up my life after Annisa broke up with me, now I try to help you after what that jerk from New York did to you. A change helped me, and I know it will help you, too. What else than Chris is keeping you here in Palm Beach? You can have a career in L.A. too, and honestly I think your chances are better over there than they are here."
"You don't understand the way it is between Chris and me."
"You're right, I don't. I always thought he was your friend. If he is, he will see that a change is the best for you now. Besides, why are we talking about him? He's not family, you're not married or anything like that. You have to decide."
"Two days, just give me two days to really think it over. I promise I will think about it."
With that, Rita turned towards the door of the interrogation room and walked away, leaving Dan behind.
It was lunchtime. Chris was waiting for Rita to join him at the Roach Coach. He sat down at one of the tables, a bowl of chili in his hands when he saw Rita approaching him.
"Hey Sammy!" he smiled.
"Hi." she replied as she sat down.
Chris gazed at her, noticing the look on her face. No, that wasn't the Rita he knew. Something was bugging her, she couldn't fool him.
"What is it?" he asked, concerned.
"What do you mean, Sam?" Rita replied, digging her fork in the salad.
"You, I mean, what's up with you?"
Rita tried to say something, but was cut off by Chris, who raised his hand.
"And before you start telling me complete garbage, I want the truth. It's about Dan, isn't it? You talked to him?"
"I... I... ugh, he offered me a job. In L.A." she responded, turning her eyes away from Chris.
"And? You're not going to L.A., right?" Chris uttered, suddenly sounding really insecure. What if she really considered leaving for California?
"Chris, this job is too damn good to reject it. I never thought someone would offer such a job to me. I would be promoted to Lieutenant and they would double my salary."
Chris raised his eyebrows, "You're kidding me. Okay, you succeeded." He paused as he looked at her. She was deadly serious about that. "You really want to go to L.A.? Hey, you're my partner, you can't leave me, Sam!"
"I'll never get this chance again, Sam. This job is too good." Rita sighed, "I don't know what I should do. One part of me wants to stay here in Palm Beach, just being Sgt. Rita Lance, homicide division, but the other part of me wants to go to L.A. and face the challenge being Lt. Rita Lance."
"But L.A.? Rita, I thought we were best friends. You can't do that!"
"Right, we are best friends. And as a best friend I want you to be objective. I... I need a change, like both you and Dan said. After everything that happened here I need to start over again somewhere else."
"And that new start certainly doesn't involve me, all right, I got the point."
Chris started to get up, but Rita grabbed his wrist and pulled him back down.
"You'll always be my friend no matter what I will do or where I will be. Even if I start over again, you'll be part of that start as my friend, I want you to know that. It's just that everything I start here, everything I do seems to fall apart. I know I've been unbearable lately. Our friendship suffered from that. I don't want to risk our friendship, so I think that maybe going to California is a way to keep what we have."
Chris sat back down and stared at his hands. No, he wasn't willing to give his best friend away, but if that was what she wanted, he had to accept it, though it would rip his heart apart. When there was one thing he wanted to make sure, than it was Rita being happy.
"So, Lieutenant?" he began after a while of silence.
"Yeah, Lieutenant in a special task force investigating high profile crimes in L.A."
"And you'd work with Dan?"
"He would be my boss."
"No partner?" Chris murmured.
"No, no partner. I don't think I could work with anybody else than you. You'll always be my partner."
"Then why are you even considering leaving me?" he shot at her.
"Because this is going to be a turn in my career, something I'll probably never be able to do here! I worked hard on my career, can't you understand that?"
"I do, but what does a career mean when you have to leave all your friends behind, the memories, everything! What would you say if I was to tell you that I would head for a job in California?"
"Well..." Rita paused for a moment. "If it's a move in your career, a promotion, better job, I would say you should do it."
"Just like that?"
"Yeah, just like that. What else do you want me to say? That I'd talk you out of it just because I want you to stay here? That would be selfish - exactly what you are now, selfish."
"I am not selfish!" Chris objected.
"Stubborn and selfish, that's what you are, and always have been. Everything that counts is what Christopher Lorenzo wants to have. I honestly can't understand why you want me to reject this offer so bad."
Chris remained silent. He glanced over at Rita. Just by looking at her he could see she was lying. She knew the reason exactly, and that was part of the reason why it was so damn hard for her to have a clear mind and come to a decision.
"We won't lose contact when you are in California, will we?" Chris mumbled.
Rita shook her head, "No, never. You are too important to me, our friendship is too important."
"But your career is more important."
"Heck, Chris, you're starting it again!"
"I just can't sit here and listen to you talking about leaving Palm Beach, I can't!"
Chris sprung up from his chair and walked off in direction of the headquarters.
"What the hell did you tell Rita?" Chris yelled as she pushed Dan against the wall of the corridor, having a tight grip on his tie.
"Let me loose, Chris!" Dan gasped.
"You think leaving for L.A. will make her feel better? Hell, how could you suggest something like that?"
"I want to help her. Maybe all she needs is a change."
"OH GOD, I don't believe this!"
Chris finally let Dan loose. He turned and bashed his fist against the opposite wall. Then he turned back to Dan and waggled his finger in front of his face.
"She really considers going to L.A., how could you do that? All her life she's been here in Palm Beach, that's where she belongs."
"Maybe that's the problem. She never saw anything else. A new start in a new town will certainly help her. Don't you want her to feel better, or is your damn libido standing in your way, Lorenzo?"
"Don't you speak to me like that! Rita is my best friend, and nothing else. I promised her to be there for her every time she'd need me, but how can I when you take her to L.A. with you??"
"You should listen to yourself. You are sounding more like a boyfriend, not only a best friend. Why don't you just go and tell her the truth why she shouldn't leave town."
"What do you mean?"
"Are you that dense or are you just acting like it? Go tell her that you love her and she'll feel much better immediately, believe me."
Chris now bared his teeth, reaching for Dan's tie again, "You understand nothing about how it is between Rita and me. Try to talk her out of leaving Florida, and we will be all right. It was a mistake to ask you to talk to her earlier."
Chris let go off Dan's tie. He placed it back in order before he rushed down the corridor towards the homicide division.
Rita was pacing the floor of her apartment while Chris sat on her couch, watching her.
"Freaking great, Chris. You think punching Dan will keep me from leaving Palm Beach?" she exclaimed, waving her arms in the air.
"I didn't punch him, I told you that. I just pushed him against the wall a little, but that's it."
"I don't understand you. Why did you do this? It is my life, my decision to leave or not. I never needed to ask you for permission, but as my best friend, I decided to tell you first before I would make a decision."
"It may be your life, but as long as any of your decisions involve me as well, I have the right to tell you what I think. And I think leaving for L.A. will only make it worse - for both of us."
Rita shook her head as she stopped pacing, "You're not being straight with me. You are hiding something."
"Hiding? I am hiding NOTHING!" Chris exclaimed. "I just can't live with the thought that my best friend suddenly won't be there any longer. Who shall I talk to when I need someone to talk to? Who will cheer me up when I feel miserable? Who will complain about my bad coffee, hum?"
The last comment caused Rita to smile. She went over to her couch and sat down to Chris. She placed her hand on top of Chris'. Chris glanced down at their hands that immediately locked as one, and a small smile formed on his face.
"You'll always be my best friend, Sam, not even a million miles between us can change that. There are telephones, you could call me all the time you would need me."
"That's not the same, and you know that. Sometimes it's just a little smile from you that I need, something like that."
"Don't you think I'll miss all that, too? Your smile, your bad sense of humor, your sulking... but I know that nothing can change what we feel for each other. California is not out of the world." Rita stopped for a moment, searching for the right words to say. She desperately needed Chris to understand.
"I need to open a new chapter in my life, Chris, but you'll always be part of it. See, if my life was only a book, you'd be the title. It may have several chapters, and from time to time new chapters will be added, but there always will be one steady thing, the title."
"Ooh, I never know you were a poet!" Chris smirked.
"You know it means a lot to me what you think about my decisions. What would you say if I was only one of your buddies?"
"I would say that you should take the offer because it is too good to turn down, yeah, that's what I would say. But to my best friend, I would say that you should think about whether it's worth turning your best friend down for a job."
"I am not turning you down." Rita appeased him. "That's never going to happen. I will accept this job, you know it, and I know it. All I want - need is you agreeing. I don't want to leave this hanging between us like it is at the moment. You don't need to be very enthusiastic about it, but I need to know that you don't think I am making the wrong decision."
"God, I think from now on I have to spend all my money on long distance calls and flights to California rather than on my Charger."
A light smile played on both Chris' and Rita's face. Finally, she seemed to have succeeded in telling Chris what this change really meant to her. Even if it meant leaving Chris... there were only three little words that could keep her from leaving, but she knew Chris would never say them.
"All right..." Chris sighed. "It's still hard to accept, but I think I am okay with it. You finally got what you've been working on for so long. Maybe I am just jealous because you were promoted Lieutenant first."
"Aah, there we have it! You ego is standing in your way, Sam."
Chris turned his head and gently brushed a strand of hair out of Rita's face.
"No, not my ego, my heart, Sammy."
Rita awkwardly shifted in her seat while she waited for Dan. Was she really making the right decision? Maybe he was right, and she needed to have a little distance from everything, but the fact that she should leave Chris behind... he'd always been her best friend, he was there when she needed him, he was just her Christopher.
"Hey there!" a male voice broke Rita out of her thoughts. It was Dan. "Sorry I am late."
"No, no, you are not late, I was here early."
Dan took a seat opposite of Rita. There was silence at the table for a couple of seconds. Dan finally spoke up.
"So..."
"So... I decided to give L.A. a try." Rita uttered with a sigh.
"Are you sure? What does Chris say about it?"
"Wait a moment, you wanted me to come to L.A., you wanted me to make a decision, and forget about Chris for a moment, so why are you asking me this now?"
"I was just making sure that you are really sure about what are you saying here."
"Yeah, I am absolutely sure. I guess you are right, I need a new start, away from all this here."
Dan smiled weakly, "Great. So you'll come to work with me, start a new life in L.A."
Rita returned Dan's weak smile. Something in her stomach told her that there was more to this than Dan was telling her, but she soon cast the thought away and started thinking about what L.A. would bring for her.
Rita was stuffing a last few items in her bag when there was a knock at her door. As she didn't expect any company right now, she was startled for a moment before she went to open the door. To her surprise, it was Chris.
"Hey Sam." he said low, almost a whisper.
Rita just smiled at him and let him in. She closed the door behind him and watched him stop in the middle of her apartment.
"So this is it?"
"This is it, Chris."
Chris turned around and faced her. His deep blue eyes showed a touch of sadness, and though he tried to hide it, he couldn't fool Rita.
"I, uhm," he stammered, "I decided to say goodbye here and now. I think I wouldn't make it to the airport tomorrow... too sappy, you know?"
A smile played across both Chris' and Rita's faces. Saying goodbye had never been easy for either of them, and this being a goodbye for a long time made it even harder.
Without saying anything, Chris moved forward and pulled Rita into a tight hug. Part of him didn't want to let go off her, scared of what life would be without her.
Minutes passed by that neither of them spoke, the embrace never broken. Finally, Chris pulled away and placed a gentle kiss on Rita's forehead.
"I'll miss you so much, I hope you know that." he whispered, never turning his gaze away from her.
Rita nodded, "I know, I am gonna miss you too. Terribly miss you, Sam."
"This is not a goodbye forever, is it?"
"No, it isn't. I won't let that happen, I promise. We'll stay in touch."
Chris pulled Rita into a short hug again before he silently let go off her and left the apartment.
Rita placed her small bag on the ground before she turned to hug Frannie.
"I really wish you wouldn't go, dear." Frannie sniffed as she pulled back.
"I need to do this, Fran, I need a change." Rita replied as she turned to Harry to hug him.
"You will take good care of yourself, you hear me?" Cap ordered, holding her at arms-length away. "And where the hell is Lorenzo to say goodbye?"
Rita shook her head slightly, "I don't think he'll come. He already said goodbye last night."
Rita's flight was announced over the PA again. She grabbed her bag from the ground and indicated the gangway.
"I better be going now or I'll miss the flight. You two will stay in touch, won't you?"
Frannie and Harry nodded silently. Rita flashed a weak smiled before she turned to head for the gangway. She was almost ready to show her ticket and go in, when she heard rushing steps behind her. She turned and saw Chris running towards her. He stopped only a few inches away.
"I... I..." he stammered breathlessly.
Rita placed her finger on his lips to silence him. He didn't need to say anything, she knew how he felt. Chris took her hand and placed something small in her palm before he closed her fingers around it.
"Please, first look at it when you're inside the plane." he uttered.
Rita nodded, "Okay."
There was some time of silence between them, awkward silence. Nobody knew what to say or what to do, they just stood there, face to face, gazing at each other.
Chris looked into a pair of green eyes he loved so much. His heart was aching just thinking that this was the last time he would see those emerald green eyes for a long time. He pushed a strand of Rita's hair behind her ear and flashed a weak smile. Rita shouldn't know how much it hurt him to see her leave.
But Rita knew. She knew exactly how Chris felt, she felt the same. Leaving Chris behind was one of the hardest things she ever had to do. She needed to do this quickly, or she'd never be able to leave.
"Chris, I need to go now." Rita finally broke the silence.
Chris nodded shortly before he reached over and pulled her into a tight hug. He wasn't ready to break the embrace, not yet. All he wanted was to keep Rita in his arms until that damn plane would have had departed, but he knew he couldn't.
"I will miss you so much, I hope you know that." he whispered into her ear before he broke the embrace.
"I will miss you too." A smiled played across Rita's face as she tipped his nose. "Don't worry, Chris, I'll call you in the most inappropriate moments, I promise you that."
"I take your word on that. You better go now or you'll miss the flight."
Rita stood on her toes and placed a kiss on Chris' cheek.
"I'll call." was all she said before she walked down the gangway. Once inside the plane she couldn't keep the tears back. A gentleman stored her bag in the overhead compartment for her and she plopped down in her seat. A tear dropped down on her fingers that were still closed around what had Chris placed in her hands. She slowly opened them and found a silver heart lying in her palm.
For my Sammy was written on the front. As she turned it, she saw what was printed on the back: Best friends - forever.
Chris sat at the kitchen counter, staring off at the water drops falling in the sink... plonk... plonk... plonk... plonk... plonk... He'd done that for the last 2 hours after Rita had called to tell him that she'd arrived safely in L.A. and that her stuff already had been brought to her new apartment. It seemed he could do the staring at the sink at least 2 more hours, when he suddenly sprung up from his chair, covering his ears with his hands.
His head wildly shaking, he moved to the living room. He turned the stereo on loud enough to cover the constant plonk, plonk, plonk emanating from the kitchen. He walked to the window, seeing that it had begun to rain some time earlier. The rain lightly pounded against the window. Through the darkness, Chris couldn't see much, only the lights of the cars driving by. For a while he stood there, and listened to the music...
On a highway on a starry night
The cars pass by I count the lights
Still it's so dark without the moon
Just like me without youThe morning comes a young dove sings
But silence answers his refrain
The absence leaves him so confused
Just like me without you
Chris turned back to the couch when he caught sight of a photo he had obviously forgotten about. It was half covered behind the stereo as he pulled it out. It showed him and Rita, lying in the sand, tickling each other and hysterically laughing. He sighed as he sat down on the couch, never taking his eyes off the photo. He traced Rita's face when the slow ballad went on...
Staring at your photograph
In the middle of the night
Hoping soon this road turns home
And it will be all right
I would never forsake you
Never betray you
You know that my heart is true
And when we're apart I pray that you feel
Just like me
Just like me without you
"Me without you..." Chris repeated absently. "Why did you do this, Rita? Why did you leave me?" Chris shook his head before he placed the photo on the table behind him and moved off to the stereo to turn the music off.
Rita stood in front of one of the boxes in her new apartment, trying to push that damn thing around another box, but she didn't quite succeed. She sighed before she plopped down on the air mattress in the apartment, the only furniture standing in there at the moment. Her hand searched for the radio next to her, while her eyes and the other hand were fixed on a much smaller box. She dragged the box towards her when it suddenly fell over and all the contents scattered on the mattress.
"Oh, dammit!" she muttered, frantically trying to place the contents back in the box, when she suddenly had a blue Michigan hat in her hands - Chris' hat. A light smile broke out on her face as she traced the yellow 'M', but it soon disappeared. She turned to turn on the radio, when the music already started to sound through the empty apartment...
One more day that feels like ten
One more lonesome town I'm in
I tried to call I couldn't get through
Just like me without youStaring at your photograph
In the middle of the night
Hoping soon this roads turns home
And it will be all right
I would never forsake you
Never betray you
You know that my heart is true
And when we're apart I pray that you feel
Just like me
Just like me without youI would never forsake you
Never betray you
You know that my heart is true
And when we're apart I pray that you feel
Just like me
Just like me without you
Rita sat in silence, the hat in her hands, holding it close to her chest when the music ended. She rubbed her temple for a moment, then got up and went to retrieve her phone. She dialed a familiar number. The phone at the other end was answered immediately.
"Rita?" Chris asked breathlessly.
"How did you know it would be me?" Rita asked astonished.
"I don't know, I just had this feeling. Everything all right with you?"
"Yeah, yeah." Rita tried to convince him, but she couldn't even convince herself. She felt so lonely in her new apartment. What she needed at the moment was Chris being with her, cheering her up.
"Sammy, I miss you." Chris cut in the silence on the phone.
Rita said nothing. She just held the receiver close to her ear and Chris' hat close to her chest.
"Christopher, I took your Michigan hat." she coaxed, trying to hold the tears back. She shouldn't have called Chris, it was a mistake.
'Dammit!' Chris thought to himself. 'She's crying.'
"Sam, c'mon, don't cry." Chris tried to appease her. "It's all right. You can keep the hat. And when you are lonely, just hold on to it and I will be with you."
"Thank you." Rita sniffed. She wiped the tears from her eyes. "See, I told you I would call you in the most inappropriate moments."
Chris chuckled, "That's not a problem. You are always welcome to call me at any time of the day, whenever you need someone to talk you. I am just a phone call away."
"I wish you'd be here with me." Rita said low.
Chris bit his lower lip. He was about to say that it had been her decision to leave, but he knew the last thing she needed right now was talking about that.
"I know. Look, I think you should go and lay down now. It's been a long and hectic day for you, and I bet you could need the rest. Sleep about it, and tomorrow you will feel better, I know that."
"I think you are right. Take care of yourself."
"And you take care of you, Sammy. Sweet dreams, and don't let the bed bugs bite you!"
The last comment caused Rita to smile. She placed the receiver down and stared down at the hat in her hands. She smelled at it and lay back on the bed. It was just a matter of minutes until she had drifted off to sleep, the hat clutched close to her chest.
"Saaaaammy!" someone called as Rita left the headquarters. Her head whirled around when she caught sight of a person sitting on the hood of a dark blue car. He hopped down and jogged over to her.
"Hey Sam!" he said, a bright smile on his face.
"Christopher!" she gasped. "What are you doing here?"
"Oh yeah, it's nice to see you as well, sunshine." he replied as he hugged her tight.
"So, this is LAPD Headquarters..." he uttered as he glanced up at the huge building behind them.
"What are you doing here?" Rita asked again, but didn't get a response.
Chris placed an arm around her shoulders and led her over to his rental car. He opened the door for her.
"What?" she asked, placing her hands on her hips.
"Hop in, Sam."
"Why?"
"I am gonna give you a lift home."
Rita pointed over her shoulder, "My car is parked over there, Chris."
"Oh, c'mon. No 'it's nice to see you, Chris', no 'how are you doing, Chris'... only a 'what are you doing here' and a 'my car is parked over there'? Rita, Rita, I really have to start worrying about you." he teased.
A smile appeared on Rita's face as she hugged him, "It IS good to see you, Sam."
"C'mon, hop in, sunshine."
Rita sighed, but then got in the car. She knew she couldn't say much against it. Chris could beg and plead and it was just a matter of time until she eventually would give in when he'd put that mournful puppy dog expression on his face. A moment later, Chris sped off.
"So, are you gonna tell me now what you are doing here?" she asked curious.
"I still had some vacation days, so I thought I'm gonna catch the next plane and head for L.A. to see how my best friend is doing..."
Chris words didn't sound very convincing to Rita. She tucked her head to her side and glanced over at Chris. He turned his head as he was feeling she was staring at him.
"What?" he frowned.
"Truth, Sam."
"I am telling you the truth." Chris paused for a moment. "Okay, I was a little curious. I wanted to see where you're living now and thought maybe I could help you settling in."
"I said truth!"
"That was the truth!"
"So? But I guess only half of it. Christopher Lorenzo wouldn't go all the way to California just to see where a friend moved to."
"C'mon, I thought you'd be happy to see me." he sulked playfully.
"I am, I really am. It's good to see you." Rita smiled at Chris. "Where are you staying?"
"I thought maybe I could park on your couch?"
"I would love to borrow you my couch, but unfortunately that's one of the things that's still stored in the storage complex downtown... I am sorry. I don't even have my bed yet. All I have in my apartment is a table, two chairs, and a couple of shelves, closets and cupboards."
"And where are you sleeping?"
"For the last 10 days I've been sleeping on an air mattress."
Chris turned to drive down Pacific Bayshore Drive towards Rita's apartment complex.
"Not very comfortable, hum?"
"No, not very comfortable. Look, there's a small and cozy motel about half a mile down the street from where I live. You could stay there."
"All right, I guess I can do that. So tell me, what's up tonight? I heard they have those hip nightclubs here."
"Work, that's what's up tonight." Rita replied, as she indicated for Chris to turn right to park the car.
"You are working tonight? Whoa, that's worse than Palm Beach, Sammy!" Chris chuckled.
"Dan and I are working undercover on a murder case. I should be ready by 9, so if you want, you can pick me up then."
"You got yourself a deal. And now, show me that nice and cozy apartment of yours - though I hope it's not too nice and cozy or I probably won't leave for the motel."
Rita just laughed and rolled her eyes before she got out of the car and closed the door behind her. Chris studied the surroundings apprehensively as he followed Rita to her apartment on the 1st floor. He closed the door behind himself when Rita already headed towards the kitchen.
"You want something to drink?"
"Water would be fine!" Chris called after her as he looked around.
This apartment looked so Rita unlike. He was used to her colorful and modern styled apartment, but this; this looked nothing like it. Plain white wands, two brown wooden doors - one leaving to the kitchen, the other obviously to the bedroom - and no porch. That was really Rita unlike.
Rita saw Chris rubbing the back of his head and shaking it slightly when she returned from the kitchen with two bottles of water in her hands. One she handed over to Chris.
"What?" she asked before she sipped on the bottle. "You don't like it?"
"No, no, no, it's just so unlike you. I am used to green and violet walls, and something more modern than those, those... you can't exactly say doors, it looks more like a gate than a door."
"I know. The doors are the first I am going to throw out. They look awful. Maybe I am also going to paint the walls. I miss my modern styled apartment."
"What do you think, I have some days off, I'll help you make this place more comfortable."
A wide, mischievous grin broke out on Rita's face, "You're offering your help? I would be stupid not to take you on your word. You got a deal. But now, I have to get ready for work."
Rita walked off in direction off the bedroom. She didn't fully close the door behind her, it was ajar, so she could still talk to Chris while getting ready.
"Tell me," she called, "how are things in Palm Beach?"
"I am running desk duty every since you left. No new partner anywhere to see for poor Christopher Lorenzo. And Keisha's daughter broke her thigh in the lab when she fell from the examining table. And before you start asking, I have no idea what she was doing on the table."
"How are Cap and Frannie?"
"Cap is still Cap, and Frannie, well, you know her. When I come home from work, I have at least two calls from her on my machine, asking me if I need something."
Rita stepped outside the bedroom dressed in a short sleeve dark blue silk dressed, the skirt reaching till her ankles. With one hand she held her hair up, with the other holding the dress up where it belonged.
"Yeah, that's Fran. I am just surprised she didn't call me here already." she said as she made her way over to Chris. She turned her back to him. "Would you?!?"
Chris swallowed as he slowly reached for the zipper and pulled it up. Rita let her hair fall over her shoulders before she turned back to Chris. His eyes were fixed on Rita. She just chuckled, waving her hand in front of his face.
"Oh, I am sorry. What did you say?"
"Frannie, I am surprised she didn't call." Rita chuckled as she went to retrieve her matching high heels.
"My fault, sorry, I didn't give her your number. I told her you would call if you needed something."
Rita rolled her eyes, "All right, Christopher, I need to get going. Since you gave me a lift home, you have the pleasure to drive me back to the station."
"It's always a pleasure, Sammy."
Rita had told Chris where to pick her up shortly after 9pm. Her work was done a little earlier than she'd expected, so Dan offered her to drive her back to the station.
"No thanks, there's no need. I'll be picked up." Rita answered with a little smile on her face as Dan placed his arms around her shoulders and led her outside.
"You'll be picked up? Whoo, Rita, that is fast! You're here not even 2 weeks, and you already found someone to pick you up? Who is the lucky guy? And when and where did you meet him?"
"So, where and when did I meet him? A long time ago at work. And you know him. It's Chris."
"Chris?" Dan gasped. "What is Chris doing in L.A.?"
"He had some vacation days. He said he wanted to help me settle down here."
Dan let out a loud chuckle. Rita starred at him like in shock.
"I am sorry," he laughed, "it's just, do you really believe all that crap?"
"What do you mean?"
"Oh, you are just like Chris, too blind. Don't you know that he..."
A loud "SAMMY" coming from the corner of the street interrupted Dan. Rita and Dan turned around and saw Chris walking towards them. He grimaced slightly when he saw that Dan had laid his arm around Rita.
"Hey buddy, how are things going?" Chris asked Dan, more being polite than being interested.
He held his hand out to Dan, who retrieved his arm from Rita's shoulders and shook hands with him.
"Fine, absolutely fine. What are you doing in California?"
"I was just curious to see as how my partner here is doing."
Chris placed his arm around Rita's shoulder and squeezed her closer. Rita grimaced before she slowly ducked out under Chris' arm. She slowly felt the tension between Dan and Chris increasing, though no words were spoken. She knew how Chris was, and if she wasn't to get those two apart the next minute, Dan probably would be pushed against the wall by Chris again.
"All right, guys, we are finished here. Dan, see ya tomorrow at work. Chris, we can go."
Chris shortly nodded at Dan before he guided Rita back to his car.
"Didn't you say you'd be working alone?" Chris asked as he opened the passenger door for Rita.
"I just said I wouldn't get a partner, but I didn't say anything about working alone."
"But working with Dan? C'mon, Sam, you quit working with me to work with that loony?"
"Hey, I thought you were friends."
"We were, before he talked you into leaving Palm Beach."
Silence reigned in the car again, and Rita nervously played with her hands. Chris always managed it to make Rita feel guilty for leaving him behind. Not that he intended to do that, but seeing his Sam together with Dan always gave him the creeps.
"I am sorry, I shouldn't have started that topic again. Let's start about something else. Where do all the people hang out here?"
"I have no idea, didn't have the time to check it out yet. But... how about a good movie? I unpacked the VCR and the tapes last night."
"C'mon, you know exactly I don't like those sappy romance movies. Don't make me sit through one of those." Chris sulked as he turned the engine on and drove off. "Besides, L.A. is not Palm Beach, I wanna have some fun here."
"I am sorry, but then you have to go alone. I am kinda tired, and I have to be at work around 8 tomorrow morning."
"All right, all right, a movie it is. But you have to promise me you'll go out with me Friday night at least. Puhleeze!"
Chris shortly turned to Rita and flashed his best puppy look. Rita smiled as she nodded.
"But I take the right to refuse any movie you're gonna pick."
"Oh, you won't turn down the one I have in mind."
Chris placed the cushions he'd retrieved from the bedroom on the ground in front of the TV. He'd just sat down when he saw Rita returning from the kitchen. She'd changed into a shirt and sweat pants earlier. She placed the tray with the drinks on the ground and turned to pull out a tape of the box standing behind the TV.
"Just to mention it again, I have the right to refuse any sappy love romance." Chris said as Rita inserted a tape into the VCR.
"You sure won't turn this one down." Rita chuckled as she sat down next to Chris.
"Casablanca, Sammy!!!" Chris exclaimed when he saw the opening scene.
"I told you you'd like it. I found that one among the tapes last night."
Suddenly, the screen began to flicker for a moment. Chris stared at the TV wide eyed. This was his tape!
"Sam, that is my tape! It's unique!" Chris paused for a moment. "You stole it."
"Negative! I think you forgot it at my place, and when I was packing up my stuff, I put it into the box with all the other tapes."
"Just admit it, you stole it!"
Rita raised her hands to stop Chris from whatever he was about to do. He reached over and pulled her closer, beginning to tickle her. Rita squirmed in his arms, laughing out loud.
"Chris, stop!" she pleaded desperately, tears of laughter already forming in her eyes.
But Chris didn't stop. He had her pinned down under him on the ground and tickled her even more. Rita squirmed and laughed even more.
Suddenly, Chris stopped. He gazed down at his partner and brushed a strand of her tangled hair out of her face. Neither of them said a word. Rita just stared up at him, raising her eyebrows. There was something between them...
Rita didn't know why, but in her stomach, it felt like butterfly wings were flying. Chris suddenly felt the urge to kiss her. Not that he had never thought or dreamed about this before, but this time it was different. There was so much tension between them, and he sensed that Rita felt it too.
He slowly lowered his head, at first with the intention to kiss her, but then he realized what he was about to do. Rita was his best friend and he better not mess up that friendship. Quickly thinking how he could this awkward situation, he put a naughty grin on his face and tipped Rita's nose.
"Confess you stole it!" he chuckled, and cleared his throat. "You are at my mercy right now."
Rita crossed her arms and tilted her head to her side. Being a little surprised by Chris actions - after all, she had expected him to kiss her - she decided to play this game along, wherever it should take them.
"What if I said I did?" she coaxed and put a grin on her face as well.
"Ah, uh, you have to give it back to me... and you owe me lunch or dinner cuz I was already more that worried where I had put that tape."
"Okay, you got a deal, Sam. And now," Rita crawled out of Chris' grip and made herself comfortable on the cushions, "can we watch the movie."
Rita had left Chris a note at the motel to pick her up at the station at noon. Chris was there in time. He parked the car and got out. He entered LAPD Headquarters and followed the directions he was given at the entrance. He walked around a corner, when he caught Rita leaning against the wall. She was talking to Dan, and obviously wasn't very happy with what he had to tell her.
Chris silently walked back around the corner, and listened to their conversation, thought he exactly knew he better shouldn't.
"Why do you think Chris is here?" Dan asked annoyed again. "I thought you left Palm Beach behind you, and that means Chris, too."
"Chris is and always will be my best friend, and nothing's gonna change that. Not even you." Rita shot at him.
"I thought we had a deal. You'd come to L.A. with me and start a new life, here, together with me."
"I know I said that but..."
Chris didn't need to hear even one more word. Rita had gone to L.A. to start a new life, together with Dan! He turned and bumped into an officer.
"Excuse me!" he exclaimed and ran down the corridor.
Around the corner, Rita had heard Chris' voice. She shot a look at Dan before she hurried down the corridor as well. She exactly knew that Chris had heard what Dan and she had talked about.
Outside in the parking lot, she caught up with Chris.
"Chris, please!" she pleaded and tried to hold him back from opening the door of his rental car.
"A new life with Dan, huh? That's why you came here?" he snapped and pulled the door open. "I thought I was your best friend."
"You are, and always will be. Please let me explain this."
"There's nothing you need to explain to me, Rita. You chose a life without me; fine, but you could have at least told me that you don't want me anymore. Tell me what I did wrong that made you do that to me!"
"Nothing, and it's not what you think..."
"Ever since Dan came to Palm Beach he had been sneaking around you. I felt like I was put aside. Was the sex at least good enough for turning me down?"
Rita smacked Chris right across the face. He immediately placed his hand on his hurting cheek and stared at Rita in shook. Boy, he had messed it up big time now!
Rita turned and rushed back inside of the station without even saying a word. Chris stared after her. Then he turned to go into the car when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned and found Dan standing behind him.
"What do you want?"
"Leave Rita alone! All she needs is here in L.A., without you!" Dan exclaimed.
"So, you think you are all Rita needs?"
"You are too late, Christopher Lorenzo. If you want her back, you should have told her earlier. She doesn't need you anymore! All she wants and needs is me!"
"Fine, fine, FINE!" Chris yelled. "I thought you were a friend, but I was wrong. Tell Rita I am heading back to Palm Beach."
With that, Chris got in his car and sped off. Dan remained in the parking lot and grinned. His plan had worked out a little different now, but he knew Rita good enough to know that if he told her now that Chris was heading back to Palm Beach, she would try everything to at least talk to him - and that was what both of them needed right now. They finally should admit their love for each other.
When he entered the station, he was still thinking about what he had to tell Rita now to make her run after Chris. Maybe causing her to hate him would be the only way. He rubbed the back of his head, when he bumped into Rita.
"What did you tell Chris?" she asked and crossed her arms in front of her chest.
"Nothing." Dan replied innocently.
"Don't lie to me. I saw you two talking. What did you tell him?"
"Sometimes I don't understand you, Rita. First you slap him and now you sound like... like..."
"Like what? Chris is still my friend."
"You know what, you are better off without him, better off together with me. He was always lying to you, he could never be straight to you!"
"Oh yeah, and may I ask why? Why should he be lying to me?"
"Have you ever asked him why he came to L.A.? Don't tell me you really believed all that crap about vacation days and stuff."
Rita bit her lower lip.
"Face it, Rita. You are here in L.A. now, with me. I am your partner, and not Christopher Lorenzo."
"Maybe it was a mistake to come here after all." Rita said and walked past Dan. "I need to talk to Chris. There are some things we need to get straightened out."
"I should tell you that he returned to Palm Beach." Dan called after Rita.
Rita turned and shot a look at Dan that could have killed.
"I quit!" she yelled. "I can't work together with a liar."
"I am not the liar here! Ask Chris and you will see."
"I sure will!"
Rita pulled up into the parking lot of the motel Chris' was staying in. She couldn't see his rental car anyway, so she went inside.
"I am sorry, Miss, but Mr. Lorenzo checked out about half an hour ago." the clerk answered after Rita had asked him for Chris.
"He checked out? Did he say where he went?"
"I think he's heading for the airport. He asked me for the fastest way there."
'Dammit!' Rita thought to herself, running out of the motel lobby. She jumped into her car and drove off. She made her way to the airport in 30 minutes, a new record.
"Next flight to Palm Beach?" she asked breathlessly at the information counter.
"Which airline, Ma'am?"
"Which airline? I don't know!" she yelled at the woman. "Just tell me when are the next flights to Palm Beach?"
"There's one in about 30 minutes, gate 21, Northwest Airlines. The next one will be in about 45 minutes, Delta Airlines."
"Thanks."
Rita headed for the information counter of Northwest Airlines first. The counter for the check-in for Palm Beach was about to close.
"Ma'am, please, I need an information." Rita uttered out of breath, leaning against the counter.
"Sorry, but we're already closed."
"Ma'am, please, it's really very important for me. Life and death."
The woman sighed, "Okay, I make an exception. How can I help you?"
"On your flight to Palm Beach, do you have a Mr. Christopher Lorenzo listed?"
"Such information is confidential, I am sorry."
Rita showed the woman her badge.
"Can you tell me now? It's really important for me."
"Let me see what I can do for you."
The woman turned to the computer and looked into the list of flight NW904 to Palm Beach. A moment later she'd found what Rita was looking for.
"We do have a Mr. Christopher Lorenzo listed, but he hasn't boarded yet. The flight already has started boarding at gate 21."
"Thank you very much."
Rita ran down the hallway following the signs to gate 21. Gate 18... 19... 20... When she arrived at gate 21, nobody was in the waiting area. Rita went to the counter.
"Excuse me, did Mr. Lorenzo already board the flight?" she asked breathlessly.
"Mr. Lorenzo? No, he's the only guest we're still waiting for."
"Thank you."
A bit disappointed, Rita plopped down in one of the chairs. She buried her face in her hands, shaking it slightly, as suddenly someone called her name. She looked up and saw Chris standing right in front of her.
"What are you doing here?" he asked astonished, but at the same time sounding very cold.
"What do you think I am doing here?" she replied, a touch of hurt in her voice. "Why did you first come and now leave me like this?"
"You know why." he answered harshly. "You don't need me anymore, you made that totally clear, and Dan made it clear."
"No, that's not true! Not even one word what Dan said is true. I care about you, you are my best friend, but you are hiding something from me. Tell me, Chris. Why did you come to L.A.?"
"I told you. I had vacation days and came to see you. I care about you, Rita!"
"You are lying to me, and you are lying to yourself. Why don't you just be straight to me and to yourself? You just said you care about me, so please, tell me the truth and help me understand. Why did you come here?"
"Because..." he stammered, but stopped immediately.
"Because of what?" she asked impatiently.
"Because I am in love with you, can't you understand that?" he blurted out. "And it drives me crazy to see you together with another guy, especially Dan, and being a thousand miles away from me!"
Rita stood there in shock. She stared at Chris shortly, then turned on her heels and ran down the hallway.
"RITA!" Chris called after her, but had to see her disappearing in the crowd of people.
Loud banging sounded from Rita's front door. She knew exactly it was Dan, but she had no intention to talk to him. All he would try was certainly to keep her back from leaving.
"Rita, please, let me explain!" Dan called through the door.
"There's nothing I need to talk to you about!" Rita called back and closed the box in front of her. She needed to straighten out things with Chris as fast as possible, and in person, and the last thing she needed now was a conversation with Dan. She felt miserable enough already.
"Did he finally tell you that he loves you?" Dan shouted and banged at the door again, that loud as if he was trying to break it open.
Rita finally lost it and swung the door open.
"Can't you just leave me alone? I am going to call the police if you don't leave me now."
"Give me 5 minutes to explain why I did all this, okay? All I want is 5 minutes. I even will help you packing."
Rita raised her eyebrows. She thought about it for a moment, and then let Dan in.
"You need a real good explanation for this, mister!"
"I know what I did wasn't the finest way, but it helped you two finally to be honest to each other. What else should I have done to make you both see what you have in each other? Geez, from the first day I met you two, it was more than obvious that you were in love."
"And?"
"And what? Should I have just come and said, 'Rita, Chris is in love with you?' You would never have listened to me; you would have told me that was total crap. This wasn't exactly the way I had planned this all to be. I first wanted Chris to tell you back in Palm Beach already. Now you know the real reason why he was so aggressive towards me. I wanted him to finally tell you what you mean to him, but he wouldn't! So I thought, all right, have him follow you here, what he did, and tell you that he needed you, that he loved you, but then everything went out of control."
"You created a real disaster, Dan, you know that? I just hope you didn't destroy the friendship I have with Chris. I need to go and straighten that out. I never should have left Palm Beach."
"Maybe, maybe not. Rita, this guy is crazy about you, he really is! Tell me I made a complete fool out of myself trying to help you guys out of your misery."
"You made a complete fool out of yourself." Rita replied.
"But you love him, don't you?"
Rita turned and looked at Dan.
"Yeah, I do, and that's why I have to go back to Palm Beach to talk to Chris. Hell, I don't even know why I left him in the first place."
"I guess you know why, Rita. You were afraid of the feelings you have for Chris, never could admit to them. I know that everything between you two will work out, you just need to talk and be honest to each other. Face the challenge."
"Maybe you are right."
Chris sat at his desk, annoyingly tapping his pen on his desk. He looked up and glanced at the empty desk opposite him. He sighed heavily as Cap. Lipschitz stepped out of his office. He was about to approach Chris when he saw the palm tree doors open and Rita shuffling in the squad room. She smiled and nodded at Cap, pointing at Chris. Cap. Lipschitz nodded back, the same bright smile on his face.
Rita slowly approached Chris' desk. He hadn't recognized her so far. She gently tapped on his shoulder. Chris turned his head and jumped up, unable to say anything when he saw Rita standing in front of him.
She still had the smile on her face when she wrapped her arms around his neck, pulled him closer and kissed him tenderly. A moment later, she pulled back and laughed.
"I love you, too, Sam." was all she said before Chris scooped her from the ground and whirled her around.
There's one person for everyone in this world, one person for whom the word love has exactly the same meaning than it has for you. You shouldn't give up on the long road looking for this person. Once you've found each other, don't ever let go.
I never gave up on my long road finding my soul mate, the person that was destined to be my love. I had him right with me, but the power given in the word love made it impossible for us to tell each other. A long road, a road of 5 years of working together...
L-O-V-E, those powerful letters... Yeah, we were too blind, just too blind to see what we had in each other, but one day we were stronger. We opened our eyes and we didn't fear those letters anymore. They came right from our hearts when we said them. My partner, my soul mate, my best friend. We defined love our own way, and I will be eternally thankful for that.
The end
Standard Disclaimer: The characters of Christopher Lorenzo, Rita Lee Lance, Harry and Frannie Lipschitz belong to Stephen J. Cannel and USA Network. Just Like Me Without You belongs to Bradley Kapture (boy, can I say I love that CD?? LOL!). All other characters that never appeared on Silk Stalkings before belong to me. No infringement intended.
Thanks go to Kristiina for editing this story for me. No thanks to my laptop that decided to crash in South Dakota and ate half of this story. Super-thanks therefore to my sis' laptop that I could use out there on our trip - and to my sis of course for LETTING me use it! LOL!