Title: Gunning Down Romance
Author: Ana Kudou
Rating: PG
Warnings: Slash. Harry/Snape. Spoiler warning as well.
Archive: If you want it, sure.
Disclaimer: Not mine. Quite not mine. J.K. Rowling is a goddess. I merely like to do interesting things with her characters.
Summary: Snape's reflection on his and Harry's relationship. Sequel to Right Kind of Wrong.
Gunning Down Romance
Love and other moments are just chemical reactions in your brain And feelings of aggression are the absence of the love drug in your veins In your veins
Morning comes all to swiftly these days, the beginning of the day ending our time together. I never thought that this would ever happen. Honestly. One day, he was just a student, the next, my lover. I watch him dress silently, not saying a word as he looks up at me with those too green eyes, as if he's asking for something. Whatever we have become, it's confusing. After all, wanting him is natural. He is so beautiful, like an angel. A fallen angel, his innocence gone. When he's with me, I can't imagine him being anywhere else. But when we're apart, I have to wonder. Is it just lust that draws me to him? Lust, and the shadow of his father in him?
Love come quickly Because I feel my self esteem is caving in It's on the brink Love come quickly Because I don't think I can keep this monster in It's in my skin
You make me confused, watching me like you do, as if you want something, need something that I cannot give you. That little hopeful half smile you give me, what is it that you are asking? Something inside of me hates to see you unsure. It lurks inside of me, like a creature that stays just out of reach, frustrating me with my lack of knowledge. Our meetings are flurries of passion, desire drawing us to each other like moths to a flame, and after, I am more confused than I was before.
Love and other socially acceptable emotions are morphine They're morphine Cleverly concealing primal urges often felt but rarely seen Rarely seen
As I watch you slip out of my quarters, back to your dorm, with your friends, it's like you're slipping away from me. I find myself longing to call you back, wanting your touch again, wanting to see you arch to my hands as if you can never get enough. I know I'll see you later, laughing with your friends. And as always, I'll be unprepared to feel the surge of jealousy I feel when I see you with them. You're mine, not theirs. But I have no claim on you beyond the walls of my room. Once you're gone, you're really gone, beyond my reach.
Love I beg you Lift me up into that privileged point of view The world of two Love don't leave me Because I console myself that Hallmark cards are true I really do
I've felt like this once before, I remember. Long ago, when I was your age, young, not bitter and cynical as time has made me, I fell in love. Or what I thought was love. He never even seemed to know I existed, or so I thought. His friends certainly didn't. Unless they wanted a target for their jokes, I was ignored. That day he saved me, I don't know if I wanted to kill him or kiss him. I suppose a little of both. But it was then that I realized that this couldn't be love. Nothing so painful could ever be that wonderful thing that everyone my age was looking for. So I let it go, and enclosed myself in my little shell, safe, until you came.
I'm gunning down romance It never did a thing for me But heartache and misery Ain't nothing but a tragedy
I see you in the halls, and I imagine that you're him. When you're with me, I see him in you, until you look up at me with those green eyes, so like your mother's. Why did you have to get through my walls? Touch me inside, prove to me that I wasn't dead like I thought? I could hate you for that, for making me feel. I can't hate you though, I need you too much. My little fallen angel.
Love don't leave me Take these broken wings I'm going to take these broken wings And learn to fly And learn to fly away And learn to fly away
Night come swiftly. Bring my angel back to me. I'm gunning down romance
***
Love and other moments are just chemical reactions in your brain And feelings of aggression are the absence of the love drug in your veins In your veins
Love come quickly Because I feel my self esteem is caving in It's on the brink Love come quickly Because I don't think I can keep this monster in It's in my skin
Love and other socially acceptable emotions are morphine They're morphine Cleverly concealing primal urges often felt but rarely seen Rarely seen Love I beg you Lift me up into that privileged point of view The world of two Love don't leave me Because I console myself that Hallmark cards are true I really do I'm gunning down romance It never did a thing for me But heartache and misery Ain't nothing but a tragedy
Love don't leave me Take these broken wings I'm going to take these broken wings And learn to fly And learn to fly away And learn to fly away
I'm gunning down romance
-Savage Garden
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