Jessie Springer!
Disclaimer: I don't own Pokemon, no duh!
A/N: This is a parody of Jerry Springer. Jessie from Team Rocket is the host!
It starts backstage
*In her Dressing Room*
Jessie: Is my hair okay?
Hair Lady: It's big, and over moused...
Jessie: Perfect!
*The Stage Manager comes in*
Stage Manager: Hey. Ms. Springer, you go on in 3 minutes!
Jessie: Just a minute. Let's see if I'm camera fit. How's my makeup?
Stage Manager: It's caked on high.
Jessie: And my hair?
Stage Manager: Blocking the lights.
Jessie: How about my nails?
Stage Manager: Looks overdone.
Jessie: And my shoes?
Stage Manager: Very cheap.
Jessie: Like my outfit?
Stage Manager: You could pass as a clown!
Jessie: Good!
Stage Manager: Now let's go!
Jessie: Fine, I'll just get my microphone.
*Jessie grabs her microphone*
Jessie: Let's go!
*She get's on the stage, right before the starting theme song begins*
Jessie: Hello. This is my first show and our guests today are anyone who have problems!
Audience: YAY!!!!!
Jessie: Alright, let's get to it! Our first guest today is a little girl who needs to tell her boyfriend something.
Audience: OOOOHHH!!!
Jessie: Come on out!
*A girl who is blond, with purple eyes, and looks about 10 comes out*
Jessie: So *reads her card* Deedee? What do you want to tell your boyfriend?
Deedee: Ditto!
Jessie: What?!
Deedee: Ditto!
Jessie: Come again?
Deedee: Ditto, Ditto!
Jessie: Are you a Ditto!?
Deedee: *Nods* Ditto.
Jessie: Uhh, Let me get a very good Pokemon translator. Come out!
*Meowth comes from a back door, and is next to Jessie*
Audience: Wow! A Meowth.
Meowth: That's right!
Jessie: Meowth translate that girl over there. *points to Deedee* She's really a Ditto!
Meowth: A Ditto?!
Jessie: Yes, now start translating!
Meowth: Okay.
Jessie: Now "Deedee", or Ditto, How were you able to talk with your boyfriend?
Deedee: Ditto, Ditto Dit-to!
Meowth: She says she pretended to be deaf. And she knew some sign language.
Jessie: Okay. Now Deedee, how long have you two dated?
Deedee: Ditto, Ditto.
Meowth: She says, that they been together for 1 year
Audience: OOOOHHHHH!!!
Jessie: How do you think your boyfriend will react?
Deedee: Ditto, to.
Meowth: She says that, she hopes her boyfriend won't overeact!
Jessie: Well Deedee, your boyfriend is backstage. And you will tell him your secret.
*A brown haired guy who looks 11 years old, comes out*
Jessie: Your name is Brock, right?
Brock: Right.
Jessie: Hey, wait! Aren't you one of those twerps that me and my partner tried to rob!?
Brock: Hey! You're from Team Rocket!!!
Jessie: Not anymore! The "Author" made me have a talk show and now I'm Jessie Springer!
Brock: Your last name isn't Springer!
Jessie: The Author legally changed my name! *mutters* bastard. Well, your girl Deedee has something to tell you. Go ahead Deedee.
*Deedee makes some hand signs*
Brock: You're keeping a secret?
*Deedee makes more hand signs*
Brock: And you hope I don't over react?
Jessie: Just tell him Deedee!
Deedee: Ditto.
Brock: Holy crap! You can talk?!
Deedee: Ditto!
Jessie: Brock, your girlfriend Deedee is really a Ditto!
Brock: WHAT!?!
Deedee: Ditto, Ditto!
Jessie & Brock: Wha?!
Meowth: She said, she's sorry but she wanted to be with ya' Brock.
Deedee: Ditto, Ditto, Dit, Ditto Ditto.
Meowth: She says, If you loved her when you knew she wasn't a Pokemon, why is now different. She's still the same nice, smart "gal".
Audience: YEAH! *The audience claps*
Brock: She's a POKEMON! I'm a HUMAN and a TRAINER!!! I happen to TRAIN things like HER!!!
Deedee: Dit, Ditto? Ditto, Ditto.
Meowth: She says, Dosen't true love conquer all? And if you can't accept her she'll leave.
Jessie: What will it be Brock?
Brock: Well....... She was the only girl I loved, and furthermore she was pretty good in the sack!
Jessie: You SLEPT with her!?!?!
Brock: Hey! She looked cute!!!
Jessie: Well, this show is going up in censor!
Deedee: Ditto, To, Dit!
Meowth: Well what's it gonna be Brock?!
Brock: *Thinking* Oh... What the hell! I'm staying with Deedee!
Audience: YAAAAAYYYYY!!!
*The audience claps*
Jessie: O-kay, I guess that's a happy ending!
Meowth: Can I stay for the rest of the show?
Jessie: Fine! Now our next guest has a secret to tell his friends. Okay, come on out!
*A boy comes out*
Jessie: Alright, your name is... Tracey!?
Tracey: Yes.
Jessie: What kind of name is Tracey!? You're a BOY!
Tracey: Well, that's just my name!
Jessie: Fine! Now what's you're secret?
Tracey: I wanna tell my friends that..... that- I'm GAY!
Audience: *GASP!*
Jessie: Eeewwwww... And to think, I use to try and rob your Pokemon!
Tracey: You are supposed to be a 'supportive' host!
Jessie: Fine, your friends Ash & Misty are here. Let's bring 'em out!
*Ash and Misty come out and sit next to Tracey*
Tracey: Umm... Ash, Misty I have something to tell you. I hope you don't treat me differently after I tell you this. I'm GAY!
Ash & Misty: YOU'RE GAY!?!?!?
Misty: Oh God!!!
Ash: I can't believe it!!!!!
Jessie: I'm shocked too. But he says he wants you to still be his friends. So what will it be?
Misty: You're actually GAY, Tracey?!
Tracey: Why else would I have this name?!
Ash: Uhhh, Tracey I hope you don't get any ideas about you..... and me..... together...
Tracey: Don't worry, Ash. I don't like you 'cause you'll never be anything in life!
Ash: WHAT!? *Ash stands up and strikes a pose* I'm a going to be the WORLD'S GREATEST POKEMON MASTER!!!
Jessie: You're gonna be the World's Greatest Pokemon Bastard?!
Ash: NO!!! World's Greatest Pokemon MASTER!!!!!
Jessie: Oh, sorry. Uhh... I guess the microphones are busted, hehehe!
*Some guards come and adjust the microphones.*
Tracey: Anyway, Hey! that guards cute! Umm... so you guys will still be my friends?
Ash: As long as you don't think Gay Ass thoughts about me!
Jessie: Don't worry! You're an ugly twerp!
Misty: Yeah, and as long as you tell no one else.
Jessie: If the Censors see my show they'll have one hell of a job! Sheesh! This show's Censor is going up every minute!
Meowth: At least so are your ratings!
Jessie: Yeah, for sick people!
Meowth: Or, people looking fer cheap laughs!
Jessie: Cheap!? *looks at Meowth, but goes on* So that's the end of that?
Ash: Guess so.
Jessie: Then get the hell off the stage, you jerks!!!
Ash: Fine!!!
*Ash, Misty and Tracey walk off.*
Jessie: Time for commercials! We'll be right back! I always wanted to say that!
****************
(Commercials)
*The first commercial shows a Wigglytuff is on a swing*
Wigglytuff: Wiggly, Wigglytuff. (I'm so hungry)
*A trainer's voice is heard*
Trainer: Wigglytuff! Oh Wigglytuff!
Wigglytuff: Tuff? (Wha?)
*A trainer runs to his Wigglytuff and gives the Wigglytuff something*
Trainer: Here Wiggly! The best Pokemon food in the market!
Wigglytuff: Wigg-ly? (You mean?)
Trainer: Yes! *turns to the camera* Pokenutri! The nutricious Pokemon food. Now available in 10 new flavors; spiceherbs, pizza, fish, chicken, taco, steak, chowder, spaghetti, and lemonade!
Anouncer: Now available in Poke Centers, everywhere! For a nutricious and delicious snack, try Pokenutri! Remember the name, Pokenutri!
*The second commercial starts and it takes place in an empty Pokemon Gym.*
Voice: I shall Pokebattle you and win!
Other Voice: Let us begin and see who shall come out victorious!
*The two people come out of the shadows to reveal, Ash and Gary*
Ash: Go, Bulbasaur!
Gary: Nidoking, Go!
*They Pokebattle for half an hour. Finally it comes down to one Pokemon each*
Ash: Pikachu, I choose you!
Gary: I choose you, Arcanine!
Ash: Pikachu, Thunder shock!
Gary: Arcanine, Fire Blast!
*Finally after 10 minutes it looks like Pikachu is about to lose...*
Gary: HA! It's over Ash!
Final Voice: It's not over yet! Here Ash!
*A hand tosses Ash a bottle of Poke Cola!*
Ash: Here Pikachu! Drink up!
*Ash throws Pikachu the Poke Cola, and after Pikachu is done he looks as good as new!*
Gary: No! Not, Poke Cola!
Ash: Pikachu finish it off with, THUNDER!!!
*Pikachu zaps Arcanine, and Ash wins!*
Ash: I won! And I couldn't have done it without Pikachu and of course... POKE COLA!!! *pulls out a cool bottle*
Announcer: For a refreshing, energetic drink try Poke Cola! Now sold wherever Pokemon are sold!
(A/N: Don't worry, I didn't steal this comercial! Read; Poke Cola! By Anime Fan.
He actually made a fic about this!^_^)
****************
Audience: JESSIE! JESSIE! JESSIE! JESSIE! JESSIE!
Meowth: ...And to think, I thought that 'Tracey' guy was straight!
Jessie: You never know, the wackiest wacko's can be under your nose...Oh! Welcome back! Our guests today have secrets to confess!
Audience: Ooooooohhhhhhh!!!
Meowth: So you finally thought up a title for your first show! How?
Jessie: It just came to me, all these people have the "I gotta tell you my secret" thing in common! Now, our last guest is Gary Oak.
*Gary comes on stage.*
Jessie: So, what's going on?
Gary: I'm cheating with my girlfriend.
Jessie: With who?
Gary: None of your beeswax!
Jessie: I'm the host! I need to know these things!
Gary: Fine. It's one of my cheerleaders!
Audience: Ooohhh...
Jessie: Who's your girlfriend?
Gary: Well, It's one of my cheerleaders!
Audience: Oooooohhh...
Jessie: So you're cheating on one of your cheerleaders, with one of your other cheerleaders?
Gary: Yes!
Audience: Oooooohhh...
Jessie: Can you give me names?
Gary: No! Aren't they on your little card?
Jessie: No! I was told that you'd have the information, because your girlfriend wouldn't tell me or my producer!
Gary: Maybe I don't wanna tell you their names!
Jessie: Fine, you stupid kid!!! I'll call your 'girlfriend' cheerleader 1, and the one your cheating with; Cheerleader 2!
Gary: Ha! And they let *you* have a show!
Jessie: Now first let's bring your girlfriend out! Come out- uhh, cheerleader 1!
*Cheerleader 1 comes out*
Meowth: Hahahaha!!! A cheerleader named Cheerleader 1, now I've seen everything!
Cheerleader 1: Ha! A talking Meowth, now *I've* seen everything!
Jessie: Okay, Cheerleader 1, your boyfriend has something to tell you. Go ahead twerp!
Gary: Hey! Fine, listen baby I gotta come clean, I've been cheating on ya!
Cheerleader 1: WHAT!? You cheated on me! With who!?
Gary: Umm, remember that Brunett in your group picture, standing below you?
Cheerleader 1: Yeah... You were cheating with her!
Gary: NO! The girl standing next to her, to your left!
Cheerleader 1: Oh. That's better. Wait! Your still cheating on me!
Jessie: Yes, and we have her backstage! Come on out... the person who's cheating with that twerp!
Meowth: Also known as cheerleader 2!
*Cheerleader 2 comes out*
Cheerleader 1: You cheating hoe!
Cheerleader 2: I'd rather be a cheating hoe, than a slut!
Cheerleader 1: You're a slut!
Cheerleader 2: Then, why do I have your man?!
Cheerleader 1: For that very reason!
Jessie: Because she's a slut?
Cheerleader 1: You bet!
Audience: YEAH!!!!!
Cheerleader 2: I'm not a-
Audience: SLUT, SLUT, SLUT, SLUT, SLUT!!!!!
Cheerleader 2: WHAT!?!
Jessie: I think they said that you were a-
Cheerleader 2: I KNOW WHAT THEY SAID!!!
Jessie: Yeah, well you were saying 'What'! Also keep your dirty language down to PG13! The Censors are having a field day!
Gary: *speaks to Cheerleader 1* Oh come, baby I love you, but-
Audience: BBBOOOOOOO!!!
Gary: QUIET! *Ahem* I love you, BUT you are always too busy thinking of new cheers, to pay attention to me! And I found love elsewhere.
Cheerleader 1: THOSE CHEERS WERE FOR YOU!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU WOULD DO SOMETHING LIKE THIS!!! WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS...!
Cheerleader 2: Because your a HOE!!!
Audience: Ooooooohhhhh!!!
Cheerleader 2: Shut up!!!
Gary: Uhh, would it help if I said something?
Cheerleader 1: What could you possibly tell me, that would make this better!
Gary: Sorry?
Cheerleader 1: SORRY!?!?! Well I'm gonna dump you, then QUIT ON MY CHEERLEADER JOB!!!!!
Gary: Dump me!? QUIT!? Wait a minute! Baby, dump me if you want but just don't quit! PLEASE!! YOU'RE MY BEST CHEERLEADER AND YOU WORK FOR FREE!!! WHY!? WHY!?!
Cheerleader 1: Well, I guess I'm (sarcastically) SOR-RY!
Jessie: Wow, and it only took 8 seconds to throw it in his face! I guess that's another
Happy Ending!
Gary: Happy Ending!?! My girlfriend is gone! My best cheerleader QUIT!! And I'm stuck with HER! *points to Cheerleader 2*
Cheerleader 2: HEY!!!!!!
Gary: "Hey" what!? You may be good in bed, but your not the prettiest cheerleader!
Jessie: The twerp's got a point! You know you can go backstage and try some of *my* make-up!
Cheerleader 2: FINE!!!
*Cheerleader 2 leaves*
Jessie: Well, I guess that's it!
Meowth: No way! We still got 15 minutes in da show!
Jessie: We do? *Jessie checks her watch* Can't I ask Audience questions!?
Meowth: That would take only 5 minutes!
Jessie: Well, can't I do my damn final thought?!
Meowth: Even if ya did, you would still have 10 minutes left!
Jessie: Hey I know! I'll entertain the audience for 10 minutes by singing!
Meowth: SING?! Uhh, I don't think you should sing...
Jessie: WHY!?! Don't I sing GOOD!?!?!?
Meowth: What I wouldn't give, to get this moment interrupted!
*Suddenly a caped figure comes down from the ceiling*
Jessie: WHAT THE!?!
Meowth: Heh, that'll do!
Caped Person: You forgot to invite me to the show! *I* have a secret to tell my friends also!
Jessie: What?! Who are you?
Meowth: Yeah! And who are these "friends" you gotta tell the secret! They must be nimrods, HAH!
Caped Person: I'm actually...
*The 'Caped Person' takes off his disguise to reveal- JAMES!*
Audience: GASP!
Jessie: *gasp!* JAMES! You gotta a secret to tell?!
James: Yes Jessie, Meowth I have to tell 'you' something!
Audience OOOOOHHHHHHH!!!
Jessie: What?!
James: I'm..... BISEXUAL!!!
Jessie: YOU ARE!?!?!?!?!?
Meowth: YOU ARE!?!?!?!?
James: Yes!
Jessie: I can't believe this! My own partner- a freak!
James: Either accept me as I am, or I'll qiut Team Rocket.
Jessie: YOU WILL NOT QUIT JAMES I REFUSE TO BE FRIENDS WITH A QUITTER!!! AND YOU BETTER NOT BRING UP THAT FREAKY SUBJECT AGAIN!!!!!
James: Does that mean that you accept me?
Jessie: We-e-e-e-e-ll, O-kay freak.
James: How about you Meowth, do YOU accept me?
Meowth: YOU'RE A FREAK!!! I'M NOT FRIENDS WITH FREAKS!!!!! I REFUSE TO ACCEPT IT, I'LL NEVER ACCEPT IT!!!!!
Jessie: *her head grows twice as big* YOU'LL ACCEPT IT, AND LIKE IT!!!!!!!!!
Meowth: *looks scared* Okay, I'll accept it! *mutters* but I won't like it!
James: I'm so glad! Uhh, Jessie you wanna go out sometime!
Jessie: WHAT DID YOU SAY!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
James: *meekly* Nothing...
Jessie: Now, I'll ask audience questions.
*Everyone is sitting on stage. Jessie brings her microphone to a man*
Person 1: First, your show is great Jessie even if it's your first show! My question is for you! Jessie wanna go out?
Brock: Jessie got asked out!?
James: Hey! She's mine!
*Suddenly everyone started talking at once. That ended up in a big fight*
Jessie: THAT'S IT! EVERYONE OUT OF MY SET!!!!!
*Suddenly everyone stopped what they were doing*
Gary: Huh?
Jessie: I said; GO HAVE A TIME OUT, BACKSTAGE!
*Everyone goes backstage in shock*
Jessie: No more Audience questions!
Audience: Awwwwww...
Jessie: Hey, let's just take a breather and hope that my guests haven't killed each other, after I bring them out!
*Five minutes later*
Jessie: Got any 5's
Meowth: Go fish!
Jessie: Darnit! *takes a card from the deck*
Meowth: Got any 3's..... *checks his watch* Hey Jessie, it's time for yer final thought!: Oh yeah, almost forgot!
*Jessie throws the cards away. All the guests come out looking calm again and they sit down*
Ash: Hey! I was gonna ask backstage but... aren't you James, from Team Rocket!
James: Uh, yeah...
Tracey: What are you on this show for?
Gary: Yeah, what for?!
James: I'm a... bisexual!
Brock: YUCK!!!
Audience: HAHAHAHAHA!!!
*Suddenly Cheerleader 2 comes out*
Brock: Who is 'that'?
Meowth: We call her "Cheerleader 2"!
Misty: You look like a whore!
Cheerleader 2: Green isn't my color at all!
Tracey: Maybe it's my color!
*Gary and Brock look at him weirdly*
Ash & Misty: DON'T ASK!
Gary: Whatever!
Brock: I don't even wanna ask!
*Gary sees Deedee*
Gary: You look cute! What's your name?
Deedee: Ditto!
Gary: Ditto? Isn't that a Pokemon name?
Brock: This girl *is* a Ditto! And she's *my* girlfriend!
Gary: A DITTO?!? I'm gonna be sick!
*Ash, Misty, Tracey, and the Cheerleaders look at Brock weirdly*
Brock: Don't ask!
Ash: I sure won't!
Misty: You're dating A POKEMON!?
Tracey: YUCK!
Brock: At least I'm not acting gay or something!
Tracey: I *AM* GAY!!!
Brock: WHAT!?!
Misty: It's true!
Tracey: THAT'S WHY I WAS ON THIS DAMN SHOW!
Gary: I wanna get outta here, soon! So, shut up freaks!
Everyone: YOU SHUT UP TWERP!!!
Gary: HEY I AIN'T NO TWERP!
Deedee: DITTO! (STOP!)
Cheerleader 2: You're ALL MAJOR FREAKS!!! Except Gary!
Cheerleader 1: AT LEAST WE'RE NOT LIKE YOU!
Cheerleader 2: WHAT DO YOU MEAN?!
Cheerleader 1: YOU'RE A SLUUUUUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Cheerleader 2: WHAT?!?!?!?!
Audience: SLUT, SLUT, SLUT, SLUT, SLUT, SLUT, SLUT!!!!!!
Brock: HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
James (teasing): *to Cheerleader 2* You're a slut! You're a slut!
*At this point EVERYONE is arguing- AGAIN!!!*
Jessie: SHUT UP!!! ALL OF YOU!!!!!!!
*Everyone is quiet*
Jessie: Now, here's my final thought; Today was my first show, and I got many weirdos! I heard things I never knew. And I heard things I never wanted to know! *looks at James* What have I learned from this?
Audience: WHAT?
Guests: WHAT?
Meowth: WHAT?
Jessie: *looks at Cheerleader 2* Green really 'isn't' your color!
Cheerleader 2: I KNEW IT!!! WWWAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!
*Everyone sweatdrops*
Jessie: Until next time! Bye!!!
*Jessie and Meowth waves and the end song is playing.*
The End
************************************************************************
Hope you liked this! And I hope I haven't offended 'Tracey fans' or 'James fans'! Please review. Oh yeah I might make a sequel but I need at least good reviews for a sequel.
Disclaimer: I don't own Pokemon, no duh!
A/N: This is a parody of Jerry Springer. Jessie from Team Rocket is the host!
It starts backstage
*In her Dressing Room*
Jessie: Is my hair okay?
Hair Lady: It's big, and over moused...
Jessie: Perfect!
*The Stage Manager comes in*
Stage Manager: Hey. Ms. Springer, you go on in 3 minutes!
Jessie: Just a minute. Let's see if I'm camera fit. How's my makeup?
Stage Manager: It's caked on high.
Jessie: And my hair?
Stage Manager: Blocking the lights.
Jessie: How about my nails?
Stage Manager: Looks overdone.
Jessie: And my shoes?
Stage Manager: Very cheap.
Jessie: Like my outfit?
Stage Manager: You could pass as a clown!
Jessie: Good!
Stage Manager: Now let's go!
Jessie: Fine, I'll just get my microphone.
*Jessie grabs her microphone*
Jessie: Let's go!
*She get's on the stage, right before the starting theme song begins*
Jessie: Hello. This is my first show and our guests today are anyone who have problems!
Audience: YAY!!!!!
Jessie: Alright, let's get to it! Our first guest today is a little girl who needs to tell her boyfriend something.
Audience: OOOOHHH!!!
Jessie: Come on out!
*A girl who is blond, with purple eyes, and looks about 10 comes out*
Jessie: So *reads her card* Deedee? What do you want to tell your boyfriend?
Deedee: Ditto!
Jessie: What?!
Deedee: Ditto!
Jessie: Come again?
Deedee: Ditto, Ditto!
Jessie: Are you a Ditto!?
Deedee: *Nods* Ditto.
Jessie: Uhh, Let me get a very good Pokemon translator. Come out!
*Meowth comes from a back door, and is next to Jessie*
Audience: Wow! A Meowth.
Meowth: That's right!
Jessie: Meowth translate that girl over there. *points to Deedee* She's really a Ditto!
Meowth: A Ditto?!
Jessie: Yes, now start translating!
Meowth: Okay.
Jessie: Now "Deedee", or Ditto, How were you able to talk with your boyfriend?
Deedee: Ditto, Ditto Dit-to!
Meowth: She says she pretended to be deaf. And she knew some sign language.
Jessie: Okay. Now Deedee, how long have you two dated?
Deedee: Ditto, Ditto.
Meowth: She says, that they been together for 1 year
Audience: OOOOHHHHH!!!
Jessie: How do you think your boyfriend will react?
Deedee: Ditto, to.
Meowth: She says that, she hopes her boyfriend won't overeact!
Jessie: Well Deedee, your boyfriend is backstage. And you will tell him your secret.
*A brown haired guy who looks 11 years old, comes out*
Jessie: Your name is Brock, right?
Brock: Right.
Jessie: Hey, wait! Aren't you one of those twerps that me and my partner tried to rob!?
Brock: Hey! You're from Team Rocket!!!
Jessie: Not anymore! The "Author" made me have a talk show and now I'm Jessie Springer!
Brock: Your last name isn't Springer!
Jessie: The Author legally changed my name! *mutters* bastard. Well, your girl Deedee has something to tell you. Go ahead Deedee.
*Deedee makes some hand signs*
Brock: You're keeping a secret?
*Deedee makes more hand signs*
Brock: And you hope I don't over react?
Jessie: Just tell him Deedee!
Deedee: Ditto.
Brock: Holy crap! You can talk?!
Deedee: Ditto!
Jessie: Brock, your girlfriend Deedee is really a Ditto!
Brock: WHAT!?!
Deedee: Ditto, Ditto!
Jessie & Brock: Wha?!
Meowth: She said, she's sorry but she wanted to be with ya' Brock.
Deedee: Ditto, Ditto, Dit, Ditto Ditto.
Meowth: She says, If you loved her when you knew she wasn't a Pokemon, why is now different. She's still the same nice, smart "gal".
Audience: YEAH! *The audience claps*
Brock: She's a POKEMON! I'm a HUMAN and a TRAINER!!! I happen to TRAIN things like HER!!!
Deedee: Dit, Ditto? Ditto, Ditto.
Meowth: She says, Dosen't true love conquer all? And if you can't accept her she'll leave.
Jessie: What will it be Brock?
Brock: Well....... She was the only girl I loved, and furthermore she was pretty good in the sack!
Jessie: You SLEPT with her!?!?!
Brock: Hey! She looked cute!!!
Jessie: Well, this show is going up in censor!
Deedee: Ditto, To, Dit!
Meowth: Well what's it gonna be Brock?!
Brock: *Thinking* Oh... What the hell! I'm staying with Deedee!
Audience: YAAAAAYYYYY!!!
*The audience claps*
Jessie: O-kay, I guess that's a happy ending!
Meowth: Can I stay for the rest of the show?
Jessie: Fine! Now our next guest has a secret to tell his friends. Okay, come on out!
*A boy comes out*
Jessie: Alright, your name is... Tracey!?
Tracey: Yes.
Jessie: What kind of name is Tracey!? You're a BOY!
Tracey: Well, that's just my name!
Jessie: Fine! Now what's you're secret?
Tracey: I wanna tell my friends that..... that- I'm GAY!
Audience: *GASP!*
Jessie: Eeewwwww... And to think, I use to try and rob your Pokemon!
Tracey: You are supposed to be a 'supportive' host!
Jessie: Fine, your friends Ash & Misty are here. Let's bring 'em out!
*Ash and Misty come out and sit next to Tracey*
Tracey: Umm... Ash, Misty I have something to tell you. I hope you don't treat me differently after I tell you this. I'm GAY!
Ash & Misty: YOU'RE GAY!?!?!?
Misty: Oh God!!!
Ash: I can't believe it!!!!!
Jessie: I'm shocked too. But he says he wants you to still be his friends. So what will it be?
Misty: You're actually GAY, Tracey?!
Tracey: Why else would I have this name?!
Ash: Uhhh, Tracey I hope you don't get any ideas about you..... and me..... together...
Tracey: Don't worry, Ash. I don't like you 'cause you'll never be anything in life!
Ash: WHAT!? *Ash stands up and strikes a pose* I'm a going to be the WORLD'S GREATEST POKEMON MASTER!!!
Jessie: You're gonna be the World's Greatest Pokemon Bastard?!
Ash: NO!!! World's Greatest Pokemon MASTER!!!!!
Jessie: Oh, sorry. Uhh... I guess the microphones are busted, hehehe!
*Some guards come and adjust the microphones.*
Tracey: Anyway, Hey! that guards cute! Umm... so you guys will still be my friends?
Ash: As long as you don't think Gay Ass thoughts about me!
Jessie: Don't worry! You're an ugly twerp!
Misty: Yeah, and as long as you tell no one else.
Jessie: If the Censors see my show they'll have one hell of a job! Sheesh! This show's Censor is going up every minute!
Meowth: At least so are your ratings!
Jessie: Yeah, for sick people!
Meowth: Or, people looking fer cheap laughs!
Jessie: Cheap!? *looks at Meowth, but goes on* So that's the end of that?
Ash: Guess so.
Jessie: Then get the hell off the stage, you jerks!!!
Ash: Fine!!!
*Ash, Misty and Tracey walk off.*
Jessie: Time for commercials! We'll be right back! I always wanted to say that!
****************
(Commercials)
*The first commercial shows a Wigglytuff is on a swing*
Wigglytuff: Wiggly, Wigglytuff. (I'm so hungry)
*A trainer's voice is heard*
Trainer: Wigglytuff! Oh Wigglytuff!
Wigglytuff: Tuff? (Wha?)
*A trainer runs to his Wigglytuff and gives the Wigglytuff something*
Trainer: Here Wiggly! The best Pokemon food in the market!
Wigglytuff: Wigg-ly? (You mean?)
Trainer: Yes! *turns to the camera* Pokenutri! The nutricious Pokemon food. Now available in 10 new flavors; spiceherbs, pizza, fish, chicken, taco, steak, chowder, spaghetti, and lemonade!
Anouncer: Now available in Poke Centers, everywhere! For a nutricious and delicious snack, try Pokenutri! Remember the name, Pokenutri!
*The second commercial starts and it takes place in an empty Pokemon Gym.*
Voice: I shall Pokebattle you and win!
Other Voice: Let us begin and see who shall come out victorious!
*The two people come out of the shadows to reveal, Ash and Gary*
Ash: Go, Bulbasaur!
Gary: Nidoking, Go!
*They Pokebattle for half an hour. Finally it comes down to one Pokemon each*
Ash: Pikachu, I choose you!
Gary: I choose you, Arcanine!
Ash: Pikachu, Thunder shock!
Gary: Arcanine, Fire Blast!
*Finally after 10 minutes it looks like Pikachu is about to lose...*
Gary: HA! It's over Ash!
Final Voice: It's not over yet! Here Ash!
*A hand tosses Ash a bottle of Poke Cola!*
Ash: Here Pikachu! Drink up!
*Ash throws Pikachu the Poke Cola, and after Pikachu is done he looks as good as new!*
Gary: No! Not, Poke Cola!
Ash: Pikachu finish it off with, THUNDER!!!
*Pikachu zaps Arcanine, and Ash wins!*
Ash: I won! And I couldn't have done it without Pikachu and of course... POKE COLA!!! *pulls out a cool bottle*
Announcer: For a refreshing, energetic drink try Poke Cola! Now sold wherever Pokemon are sold!
(A/N: Don't worry, I didn't steal this comercial! Read; Poke Cola! By Anime Fan.
He actually made a fic about this!^_^)
****************
Audience: JESSIE! JESSIE! JESSIE! JESSIE! JESSIE!
Meowth: ...And to think, I thought that 'Tracey' guy was straight!
Jessie: You never know, the wackiest wacko's can be under your nose...Oh! Welcome back! Our guests today have secrets to confess!
Audience: Ooooooohhhhhhh!!!
Meowth: So you finally thought up a title for your first show! How?
Jessie: It just came to me, all these people have the "I gotta tell you my secret" thing in common! Now, our last guest is Gary Oak.
*Gary comes on stage.*
Jessie: So, what's going on?
Gary: I'm cheating with my girlfriend.
Jessie: With who?
Gary: None of your beeswax!
Jessie: I'm the host! I need to know these things!
Gary: Fine. It's one of my cheerleaders!
Audience: Ooohhh...
Jessie: Who's your girlfriend?
Gary: Well, It's one of my cheerleaders!
Audience: Oooooohhh...
Jessie: So you're cheating on one of your cheerleaders, with one of your other cheerleaders?
Gary: Yes!
Audience: Oooooohhh...
Jessie: Can you give me names?
Gary: No! Aren't they on your little card?
Jessie: No! I was told that you'd have the information, because your girlfriend wouldn't tell me or my producer!
Gary: Maybe I don't wanna tell you their names!
Jessie: Fine, you stupid kid!!! I'll call your 'girlfriend' cheerleader 1, and the one your cheating with; Cheerleader 2!
Gary: Ha! And they let *you* have a show!
Jessie: Now first let's bring your girlfriend out! Come out- uhh, cheerleader 1!
*Cheerleader 1 comes out*
Meowth: Hahahaha!!! A cheerleader named Cheerleader 1, now I've seen everything!
Cheerleader 1: Ha! A talking Meowth, now *I've* seen everything!
Jessie: Okay, Cheerleader 1, your boyfriend has something to tell you. Go ahead twerp!
Gary: Hey! Fine, listen baby I gotta come clean, I've been cheating on ya!
Cheerleader 1: WHAT!? You cheated on me! With who!?
Gary: Umm, remember that Brunett in your group picture, standing below you?
Cheerleader 1: Yeah... You were cheating with her!
Gary: NO! The girl standing next to her, to your left!
Cheerleader 1: Oh. That's better. Wait! Your still cheating on me!
Jessie: Yes, and we have her backstage! Come on out... the person who's cheating with that twerp!
Meowth: Also known as cheerleader 2!
*Cheerleader 2 comes out*
Cheerleader 1: You cheating hoe!
Cheerleader 2: I'd rather be a cheating hoe, than a slut!
Cheerleader 1: You're a slut!
Cheerleader 2: Then, why do I have your man?!
Cheerleader 1: For that very reason!
Jessie: Because she's a slut?
Cheerleader 1: You bet!
Audience: YEAH!!!!!
Cheerleader 2: I'm not a-
Audience: SLUT, SLUT, SLUT, SLUT, SLUT!!!!!
Cheerleader 2: WHAT!?!
Jessie: I think they said that you were a-
Cheerleader 2: I KNOW WHAT THEY SAID!!!
Jessie: Yeah, well you were saying 'What'! Also keep your dirty language down to PG13! The Censors are having a field day!
Gary: *speaks to Cheerleader 1* Oh come, baby I love you, but-
Audience: BBBOOOOOOO!!!
Gary: QUIET! *Ahem* I love you, BUT you are always too busy thinking of new cheers, to pay attention to me! And I found love elsewhere.
Cheerleader 1: THOSE CHEERS WERE FOR YOU!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU WOULD DO SOMETHING LIKE THIS!!! WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS...!
Cheerleader 2: Because your a HOE!!!
Audience: Ooooooohhhhh!!!
Cheerleader 2: Shut up!!!
Gary: Uhh, would it help if I said something?
Cheerleader 1: What could you possibly tell me, that would make this better!
Gary: Sorry?
Cheerleader 1: SORRY!?!?! Well I'm gonna dump you, then QUIT ON MY CHEERLEADER JOB!!!!!
Gary: Dump me!? QUIT!? Wait a minute! Baby, dump me if you want but just don't quit! PLEASE!! YOU'RE MY BEST CHEERLEADER AND YOU WORK FOR FREE!!! WHY!? WHY!?!
Cheerleader 1: Well, I guess I'm (sarcastically) SOR-RY!
Jessie: Wow, and it only took 8 seconds to throw it in his face! I guess that's another
Happy Ending!
Gary: Happy Ending!?! My girlfriend is gone! My best cheerleader QUIT!! And I'm stuck with HER! *points to Cheerleader 2*
Cheerleader 2: HEY!!!!!!
Gary: "Hey" what!? You may be good in bed, but your not the prettiest cheerleader!
Jessie: The twerp's got a point! You know you can go backstage and try some of *my* make-up!
Cheerleader 2: FINE!!!
*Cheerleader 2 leaves*
Jessie: Well, I guess that's it!
Meowth: No way! We still got 15 minutes in da show!
Jessie: We do? *Jessie checks her watch* Can't I ask Audience questions!?
Meowth: That would take only 5 minutes!
Jessie: Well, can't I do my damn final thought?!
Meowth: Even if ya did, you would still have 10 minutes left!
Jessie: Hey I know! I'll entertain the audience for 10 minutes by singing!
Meowth: SING?! Uhh, I don't think you should sing...
Jessie: WHY!?! Don't I sing GOOD!?!?!?
Meowth: What I wouldn't give, to get this moment interrupted!
*Suddenly a caped figure comes down from the ceiling*
Jessie: WHAT THE!?!
Meowth: Heh, that'll do!
Caped Person: You forgot to invite me to the show! *I* have a secret to tell my friends also!
Jessie: What?! Who are you?
Meowth: Yeah! And who are these "friends" you gotta tell the secret! They must be nimrods, HAH!
Caped Person: I'm actually...
*The 'Caped Person' takes off his disguise to reveal- JAMES!*
Audience: GASP!
Jessie: *gasp!* JAMES! You gotta a secret to tell?!
James: Yes Jessie, Meowth I have to tell 'you' something!
Audience OOOOOHHHHHHH!!!
Jessie: What?!
James: I'm..... BISEXUAL!!!
Jessie: YOU ARE!?!?!?!?!?
Meowth: YOU ARE!?!?!?!?
James: Yes!
Jessie: I can't believe this! My own partner- a freak!
James: Either accept me as I am, or I'll qiut Team Rocket.
Jessie: YOU WILL NOT QUIT JAMES I REFUSE TO BE FRIENDS WITH A QUITTER!!! AND YOU BETTER NOT BRING UP THAT FREAKY SUBJECT AGAIN!!!!!
James: Does that mean that you accept me?
Jessie: We-e-e-e-e-ll, O-kay freak.
James: How about you Meowth, do YOU accept me?
Meowth: YOU'RE A FREAK!!! I'M NOT FRIENDS WITH FREAKS!!!!! I REFUSE TO ACCEPT IT, I'LL NEVER ACCEPT IT!!!!!
Jessie: *her head grows twice as big* YOU'LL ACCEPT IT, AND LIKE IT!!!!!!!!!
Meowth: *looks scared* Okay, I'll accept it! *mutters* but I won't like it!
James: I'm so glad! Uhh, Jessie you wanna go out sometime!
Jessie: WHAT DID YOU SAY!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
James: *meekly* Nothing...
Jessie: Now, I'll ask audience questions.
*Everyone is sitting on stage. Jessie brings her microphone to a man*
Person 1: First, your show is great Jessie even if it's your first show! My question is for you! Jessie wanna go out?
Brock: Jessie got asked out!?
James: Hey! She's mine!
*Suddenly everyone started talking at once. That ended up in a big fight*
Jessie: THAT'S IT! EVERYONE OUT OF MY SET!!!!!
*Suddenly everyone stopped what they were doing*
Gary: Huh?
Jessie: I said; GO HAVE A TIME OUT, BACKSTAGE!
*Everyone goes backstage in shock*
Jessie: No more Audience questions!
Audience: Awwwwww...
Jessie: Hey, let's just take a breather and hope that my guests haven't killed each other, after I bring them out!
*Five minutes later*
Jessie: Got any 5's
Meowth: Go fish!
Jessie: Darnit! *takes a card from the deck*
Meowth: Got any 3's..... *checks his watch* Hey Jessie, it's time for yer final thought!: Oh yeah, almost forgot!
*Jessie throws the cards away. All the guests come out looking calm again and they sit down*
Ash: Hey! I was gonna ask backstage but... aren't you James, from Team Rocket!
James: Uh, yeah...
Tracey: What are you on this show for?
Gary: Yeah, what for?!
James: I'm a... bisexual!
Brock: YUCK!!!
Audience: HAHAHAHAHA!!!
*Suddenly Cheerleader 2 comes out*
Brock: Who is 'that'?
Meowth: We call her "Cheerleader 2"!
Misty: You look like a whore!
Cheerleader 2: Green isn't my color at all!
Tracey: Maybe it's my color!
*Gary and Brock look at him weirdly*
Ash & Misty: DON'T ASK!
Gary: Whatever!
Brock: I don't even wanna ask!
*Gary sees Deedee*
Gary: You look cute! What's your name?
Deedee: Ditto!
Gary: Ditto? Isn't that a Pokemon name?
Brock: This girl *is* a Ditto! And she's *my* girlfriend!
Gary: A DITTO?!? I'm gonna be sick!
*Ash, Misty, Tracey, and the Cheerleaders look at Brock weirdly*
Brock: Don't ask!
Ash: I sure won't!
Misty: You're dating A POKEMON!?
Tracey: YUCK!
Brock: At least I'm not acting gay or something!
Tracey: I *AM* GAY!!!
Brock: WHAT!?!
Misty: It's true!
Tracey: THAT'S WHY I WAS ON THIS DAMN SHOW!
Gary: I wanna get outta here, soon! So, shut up freaks!
Everyone: YOU SHUT UP TWERP!!!
Gary: HEY I AIN'T NO TWERP!
Deedee: DITTO! (STOP!)
Cheerleader 2: You're ALL MAJOR FREAKS!!! Except Gary!
Cheerleader 1: AT LEAST WE'RE NOT LIKE YOU!
Cheerleader 2: WHAT DO YOU MEAN?!
Cheerleader 1: YOU'RE A SLUUUUUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Cheerleader 2: WHAT?!?!?!?!
Audience: SLUT, SLUT, SLUT, SLUT, SLUT, SLUT, SLUT!!!!!!
Brock: HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
James (teasing): *to Cheerleader 2* You're a slut! You're a slut!
*At this point EVERYONE is arguing- AGAIN!!!*
Jessie: SHUT UP!!! ALL OF YOU!!!!!!!
*Everyone is quiet*
Jessie: Now, here's my final thought; Today was my first show, and I got many weirdos! I heard things I never knew. And I heard things I never wanted to know! *looks at James* What have I learned from this?
Audience: WHAT?
Guests: WHAT?
Meowth: WHAT?
Jessie: *looks at Cheerleader 2* Green really 'isn't' your color!
Cheerleader 2: I KNEW IT!!! WWWAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!
*Everyone sweatdrops*
Jessie: Until next time! Bye!!!
*Jessie and Meowth waves and the end song is playing.*
The End
************************************************************************
Hope you liked this! And I hope I haven't offended 'Tracey fans' or 'James fans'! Please review. Oh yeah I might make a sequel but I need at least good reviews for a sequel.