CouplingsHumor, PWP, pov,drabbles
The Artist Various
"I really don't understand you. Your entire manner perplexes me."
"What is there to understand? I am dark and tragic, doomed to brood in these gloomy moors forever."
"Harry, you are not dark and tragic; I'm 'dark and tragic'. You don't brood; you sulk, and whine. There aren't any gloomy moors around here, just an extremely polluted pond. Besides, being tragic in Kensington is redundant. "
"…I am trying to express my deep dark emotions and you constantly undermine my efforts!"
"Shut up, pop a valium and bitch to your shrink about it."
"Fucking bastard."
"Love you too."
"HOLY FUCKING MOTHER OF A COW!"
"That was a most colorful swear, Hindus would take offense to that…what's wrong?"
"The effing VCR is mocking me!"
"Mocking you?"
"Yes mocking me. It keeps flashing its stupid ugly blue colored lights, like its saying "You'll never set the time on me you stupid blond bastard! I will just keep flashing and flashing until you go crying to your muggleborn girlfriend to come fix me! Nyah nyah!"
"Uhm, Draco aren't you a wizard?"
"….."
"Oh damn I forgot about that!"
" /sigh/ So many dumb blond jokes so little time"
"Oh gawd!"
"YES!"
"FASTER! FASTER!"
"C'mon now! Put your back into it!"
"AH! AH! AHHHHHH!"
"Don't you dare stop now!"
"Almost there, nearly there!"
"YES!! Oh gods yes!"
"Fred!"
"George, that was brilliant!"
"Bloody… Hell!"
"Hi Ron."
"I can't fucking believe it…
The Cannons finally won!!"
"Lucius, what exactly is it that you do at the Ministry?"
"What do you mean by that Black?"
"What is your job exactly?"
silence
"Well?"
"What is with this fascination with my occupation?"
"Dunno, just a little curious…so?"
"So what?"
"Lucius Abraxas Malfoy, you are deflecting. You cannot ninja your way out of this. What. Do. You. Do?"
"It's underground."
"Underground how?"
"Underground, as in, 'if I tell you I would have to kill you.'"
"/snort/ what, are you in some sort of wizarding mafia?"
Very noisy silence
"No way! Are you seriously?"
"Do you take protection money from all of the shops on Diagon Alley? Rough up the hot heads within the organization? Leave horse heads in rival Mafioso's beds? "
"…"
"Black, have you been watching the Godfather again?"
silence
Fin
Author's note: if you haven't figured it out by now the pairings are
Severus/Harry, Draco/Hermione, Fred/George with a side o' Ron, Lucius/Sirius
The line "Being tragic in is redundant." Is from: You Suck: A love story by an author I couldn't begin to tell you the name of… He also wrote Blood Sucking Fiends. So Google the title of those two books and you will get the author's name.
Final word count: 375