Disclaimer: I own nothing of SE Hinton's.

A/N: This takes place after chapter 11 where Bryon finds out and calls the cops. I think I haven't done too shabby a job on this. R&R please! I've gotten most of the plot figured out and will write this up if you guys like it! :D

Turn Back The Hand

Bryon

I paced around the room wildly. My steps didn't seem to make any sense(left, right, left, right) as I tried to figure out what to do. Calling the police...I stopped abruptly in the middle of the room. No. I couldn't, That would kill him...that would kill me. The awful thoughts kept on crossing my mind and I looked at the cylinder clutched tightly in my hand. I tightened my hand and a bit of the glass broke and pierced my skin, I didn't care though, the pain only made me think a little bit more clearly through this bloody fog. I sat down, feeling choked and like I couldn't breathe anymore. I can't take this shit anymore. My breathe came in heavy, rasping gasps and I wrapped my arms around me. Everything seemed to be going to hell.

The door swung open then and Mark appeared, standing in the space between. He looked like those guys in the movies then. All the back light peering out from behind him and his face, dark and unrecognizable. I nearly didn't recognize my brother, who had been with me for all of my life. Not his lean frame or strange eyes, his angular face showed no signs of feeling. Suddenly Mark rushed at me and I raised my arms half-heartedly, out of instinct. I thought he was going to punch me or something but I should have known better when he kneeled in front of me and pried my hands out of the way. He said something and I shook my head blindly, loosening my grip and the metal fell to the floor with a soft clang. I clinged on to the piece of glass, though, if only because it felt so much more familiar to me than Mark was.

"Oh. I guess you found it, huh?" he said, his voice sounded normal like this was just another everyday thing.

I kept quiet, locking my eyes with his. "Well, don't worry about me. I have good enough a time as I am." His voice was cool, daring me to challenge him.

I refused to take the bait. "M&M had a bad acid trip. He's in the hospital now." my voice sounded steady, sure. As unlike as I was now.

I felt sick and started shaking. My breathing became shallow again and I could feel myself getting hysterical. "Bryon." Mark held me by the shoulder. "Bryon! Stop it, man! Stop it!"

I didn't.

Then ,Mark slapped me across the face. Hard and stinging, I looked up at him. He was crying, the hand that had struck me wiping his tears off. "Fuck up, buddy. I'll quit selling. Just quit it." he said, sobbing.

I felt terrible. I had made him cry again. How many times would I make him? "Cathy." a niggling voice nudged me but I didn't get it. What did Cathy have to do with this? With anything? I felt empty and numb. I slumped sideways on the wall and moaned. This was all screwed. Screwed. "Are you going to be sick?" Mark asked me worriedly, feeling my forehead with the back of his hand.

"Mark, buddy. Promise me you'll quit." I whispered, my voice sounded flat.

"I promise. I said I would."

As I close my eyes and allowed myself to be taken in by sleep, I heard a rustle and I could feel my brother settling in beside my ,his head on my shoulder.

XXXX

When I opened my eyes, I felt as though I had gone another round with the Shepards and more. I was foolish enough to forget for a short while what had happened but when I remembered, it hit me like a brick. "Fuck." I swore. Now that I had gotten some sleep, it still didn't seem very clear on what I should do. Call? Not call? "This is what crack heads feel like," I though sarcastic as I groped blindly under Mark's mattress. If it wasn't there, maybe I could convince myself it was just one of those freaked out dreams. No luck.

I flinched when my fingers found the hard metal of the cylinder. I should have know. My hand had dried blood all over it anyway. With a sigh, I sat down on the mattress which deflated with a hiss. I wondered where Mark was now. Out dealing? He wouldn't. I had never known Mark to break a promise. A promise to me anyway. All others were as sincere as my confessions of love to my ex-girlfriends.

"Bryon." Mark came in, the door swung behind him and shut with a click. "Don't get spooked. Done my last." as usual he said exactly what was on my mind. He sat beside me and stared at me with this hard look in his eyes." What the fuck is wrong with you? You're my brother! And you were going to sell me out!?" he burst out. I looked away. I couldn't bear to think about what I was gong to do. Still do? To send him away. "I can't." my voice broke and I felt tears pricking my eyes again. " I couldn't , Mark. You're my brother and I would never do that."

"You were going to. "his voice was bitter. "Don't lie to me, Bryon. You knew what it was gonna do to me and you were going to."

I couldn't say anything because the lump in my throat had grown twice its size.

"You might be my brother and I might love you but I ain't ever forgetting, Bryon." he continued. " I ain't ever."

"Mark," I tried to begin but I found my voice weakening. "I ain't ever gonna." Mark was crying again. He looked weird. I didn't see much of him last night but I could see now that crying was not something that looked good on him. "This was the fifth time, I bet." I thought miserably. He was biting his lip furiously and the pained, angry look in his eye reminded me of a caged lion desperate to get out. Mark turned away but I put an arm across his shoulders and although he seemed like he didn't want to, he leaned on me. "I'm sorry, buddy. I'm sorry." I said before keeping silent. What more could I say? Everything was just screwed.

XXX

It'd been a few weeks since Mark had quit pushing and we were at the drive-in, watching the movies. Or rather, watching the people who were watching the movie. The girl on screen had bangs and was breathing heavily as the man whispered meaningless shit into her ear. "I love you," the girl panted and they began kissing passionately. Mark snorted derisively beside me and I turned. In terms of distance, we were now as far as you could possibly get. It felt like we were pulling a thin, fraying thread across that vast distance and slowly it was tearing away. I wondered if we would ever see eye to eye again. We got into all kinds of petty arguments. It ended pretty quickly always though probably because we were both prone to getting too angry with each other than normal now and that we were always hungry. The shortage of money had resulted in shortage of food. I had tried to get Mark a job where I worked but he had snarled at me, considering I lost the job he already had before.

As I stared harder at the screen, I thought about Cathy. We'd broken up two weeks back and it'd been clean I guess compared to my previous break ups. We hadn't shouted, thrown anything but were out on the crying score. She'd started when we nearly been through.

"So I guess this is it, Bryon?" she turned her head away.

"Yeah. Look. Cathy, I'm real sorry about the rotten timing, I mean with M&M with the acid trip and all but its for the best, a clean break."

"If you cared like you said you did, you wouldn't be doing this now. Bryon, don't you love me?" she looked at me with those beautiful big gray eyes,

And then I said in the softest voice I could.

"No, I...I don't, Cathy."

Her eyes turned watery then and she asked,

"Is it because of me? Some other girl?"

"I don't know, baby. I just don't." I sighed in frustration, she wouldn't understand, she still loved me, I knew. "I didn't just decide to, you know, baby. I just don't. Not anymore. I'm sorry, Cathy."

She started crying then and told me to go and I did.

I meant every word I said though. I think it was the first time I'd ever been honest to a girl and I was sorry about that, too.

"Hey, look who's here." Mark pointed out to a car nearby. It had a couple of greasers. One of them was Curtis. Mark waved and Curtis waved back. "I'll go over for a bit." Mark said and jumped off the hood of some kid's car we were sitting on. "Yeah sure." I said, watching him walk off.

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Mark

I walked coolly over to where Curtis sat. Lately, I'd been jumping at every chance to get out of Bryon's company. I was feeling too mixed-up for my taste nowadays hated him but he was still my brother. I could knife him but then, cry over his dead body. Was this how that Mike kid felt? If he did, it must be awful for him , feeling like this all the time. I thought I'd always go crazy if anything like this ever happened to me and I guess I did because I still loved Bryon despite all he'd done. I couldn't stand the sight of him now. I'd only been trying to help, make money, put money on the table as he and his old lady had always done for me before.

Sometimes I wondered where everything screwed up and I knew. Cathy. It was all her fault. he'd given Bryon ideas. Man, I hate her. Hate her damn good. I don't mind M&M and yeah, its awful sad he had bad acid trip but I didn't give him anything. I doubt M&M even knew I dealt, I've dealt to his friends before, his kind of crowd but not to the kid himself. No matter what Bryon might think I'd never given M&M anything.

"Hey, Mark," Curtis called out when I got near enough.

"Hey yourself." I replied ,grinning. Curtis was a good kid and tuff enough to hang with.

"You want one?" I pulled out a stick and offered.

He reached out for it before the guy beside him firmly told me, "He's quitting, thanks."

"Didn't tell me." I said. "How's that going'?"

"Oh well, you know." He gave me a rueful smile. "Old habits die hard. I gotta get in shape for track."

I lighted the stick myself and took a drag.

"Mark, right?" the guy beside him continued. "You came over our place that time, we didn't get to introduce ourselves."

"Oh yeah?" I asked, looking close. He as right. He was good-looking and most definitely, even in the dark was a Curtis brother. Bryon was right that time, the whole family was good-looking.

He was right. We had met that time. What was his name? Pepsi? Cola? It was a soft drink, most definitely. I decided to play it safe and call the guy beside him.

"Matthews, right?" I nodded at Two-Bit,. The guy who caused so much shit at school and was well=known enough.

"Yeah, how'd know?"

"The principal was choking black-and-blue in the face the other time I was there about the Matthews bastard who locked the senior class in for the weekend."

He laughed.

"Shoot, that was nothing. They all just forgot they planned a little slumber party. This is Steve here by the way."

I nodded towards the guy with long greasy hair which he still combed back like the old days.

"So you guys are...?"I asked, blowing rings successfully.

"Good friends, you could say."

Curtis, the younger one, answered me.

"Might as well be brothers." the older one slung an arm around Steve and pretended to give him a kiss.

"Evie won't be happy when she sees that,Soda."Steve shoved him into his brother's lap. "Now, be a good big brother and give your kid a kiss."

"Oh...but then Darry won't be happy." he winked.

"You're tight with Douglas,right?"Matthews asked me.

I glanced over at Bryon. He was smoking too and staring At the other couples. I wondered if hew as thinking about Cathy. I felt a surge of hate and sick.

"You having a fight?" Curtis's brother asked, noticing how tense I'd gotten.

"You could call it that." I took another long drag on my cigarette and instantly relaxed. "Over a girl, no less." I volunteered information which I don't normally.

"Love makes you do funny things."

"In Bryon's case lose his mind," I spat, suddenly angry again.

We all fell silent for a while then.

"Curtis, you liked Cathy, yeah?"

He turned bright rd and muttered something the rest of the boys turned to look at him.

"Cathy?" Two-Bit asked.

"Yeah ,I asked her out that time but she said no."Curtis finally answered.

"Huh. If she said yes, I would have more reason to hate her more."

I stared up the screen,. The credits were rolling.

"Stay, there's another coming on."

"Yeah,Sure."I obliged.

Soon, I could see why they called Matthews Two-Bit. I was laughing when Curtis suddenly nudged me.

"Hey ,Mark, who's that over with Bryon? They don't look too friendly."

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A.N: Yeah!First full-length chapter up. Like it, hate it? Review to tell me!