Something that poped up in my mind few days ago and just couldn't stay inside. My thoughts about Kaneki/Haise's state of mind.

Sorry about any grammar mistakes, English is not my native language.

CAUTION! SPOILERS UP TO CHAPTER 53 OF TG:RE!

Disclaimer: I do not own Tokyo Ghoul.

Little Ken was suffering, ever since his kind, smiling mother had hit him for the first time. His image of her had been distorted and his sanity was slowly decaying. On a good day, she would smile tiredly asking him to read in his room quietly. On a bad day, she would be slapping him harshly for wanting something she couldn't afford. She would be hitting him for demanding attention.

Before long there were Kaneki and Ken.

Kaneki was a shy boy; in school he was always sitting alone with his head buried in book. He never talked with other kids, only spoke, when he was asked to.

Ken was frightened child locked in a flat with his psychotic mother. Too scared to stay there and too scared to leave altogether. In the situation without solution, without escape.

Kaneki had found a friend, a sunshine, that had brightened the lonely life he led with his constantly working mother. Rays of the sun warmed up his soul, that felt broken for unnamed reason.

Ken's eyes long ago lost its shine. Heavy curtains hanged by his mother had since long ago immerged his room in darkness. He was always alone in her presence.

Kaneki wanted many things. He wanted a new book, he wanted to spend as much time as possible with Hide, before his friend's mother would call him back home. He longed to spend more time with his mother. He needed her attention.

Ken wanted... nothing. Nothing. NOTHING.

Mommy, I'm sorry. I don't need anything!

…

…

He only wanted to die.

Kaneki loved his mother. He cried for a very long time after her death. Even Hide couldn't reach out to him during his time of mourning.

Ken loved his mother. He took her death a chance to leave everything in Kaneki's hands and submerged himself deep into their consciousness. Surely, Kaneki will find his way into this very pit of despair and grand Ken's wish.

Surely…

"Can you manage it?"

Haise's eyes were calm and ice-cold. Blood streamed down his face from his completely drenched hair.

"Yeah…"

Ken smiled visibly pleased.

Finally…

Update: [02.12.2015]