Ways to make Hidan want to kill himself.
Use his decapitated head as a soccer ball.
Deprive him of the pleasures of eating, by locking the fridge and paying the other Ataksuki members not to feed him.
Force him to watch Teletubbies for 249 years.
Follow him around for 24 hours with a steak knife, jabbing him constantly and telling him that you are just trying to prove to yourself that he is immortal.
When some one cuts off his arm or leg, tie up Kakuzu and tell Hidan that that the Akatsuki's tailor has run out of thread.
Buy him a puppy.
Steal his scythe and paint it pink, with ponies and pretty rainbows and fluffy white clouds.
Continuously shove jelly babies down his mouth.
Ask him why his hair is so greasy.
Put glitter glue in his hair gel.
Pay Neji to follow him around, talking about fate.
Get Neji life insurance.
Tell him he's cute.
Blunt his scythe and cut its cable.
Cut off his finger and feed it to the Akatsuki gold fish – Pantoffel.
Fill his mattress with stones.
Throw him a 603 year old birthday party, even though he is only 22.
Fill his socks with fleas.
Give his fan girls his email address.
Try to catch him sniffing Kakuzu's under wear.
And when he doesn't, tell every one that he did it any way.
Poke his head with a toothpick repeatedly.
Steal his bacon.
Blast 'we are family' at two o'clock in the mourning, while walking up and down his bedroom door.
When his head is decapitated, super glue your little bro's ipod into his ear and put Barney the purple dinosaur theme song on repeat for 48 hours……or until some one sews his head back on…and if that happens….run.
Get life insurance.
Put make-up on his face (when it is decapitated) and stick it on your mantle piece.
Tell every one that he sleeps with a teddy bear.
And that if he doesn't have it, he gets night mares.
Tell Pein that he lost his virginity to a camel.
Whip him with noodles every time he swears at you or says "Janshin."
Tell him that pink is his color.
Swap his hair gel for fish guts.
Before he realizes that his hair isn't gelled, swipe his head off and tie his hair up in pink, fluffy, scrunchi, bobble pigtails.
Call his scythe Sammie the dagger.
Use his body as a coffee table.
Smear pink lipstick over his face while he is sleeping.
Go up to him one day and tell him that his eyes are the color of shrimps.
Tell him he's a wussy.
Cut his head off and stick it onto the naked body of a female Barbie doll.
When he manages to get his body back, make him wear an 'I love Barbie' T-Shirt and tell him that it suits his complexion.
FINIALLY – rub it in his face that Shikamaru totally kicked his ass, every single time there is a silence.
RUN.