A/n I started this months ago and never finished it till yesterday when I got bored. Adele always causes trouble when I'm bored, so here is the finished product. It's set after 52 Pickup and is a one shot.
Disclaimer: See my profile
"Okay… Everyone gather around."
Garcia brought the huge glass bowl of popcorn to the couch. Emily was opening a bottle of beer that had been chilling in the fridge. JJ held a slice of loaded pizza in one hand and a diet soda in the other.
"It's too bad you can't drink JJ…" Emily said, taking a handful of popcorn from the bowl and munching enthusiastically.
"Well, I figured that a drunk Henry wouldn't go over too well with Will."
"Good for you sunshine," Garcia had a glass of red wine from the bottle in her kitchen. She picked a pot sticker out of the container on the round coffee table and popped it into her mouth.
"Yeah, where is the handsome little guy anyway?"
"He's with Will and the guys."
"You let your gorgeous Cajun lover take that sweet little man to a gathering with the guys?"
"Come on… How much trouble could a two month old get in with a group of profilers, a former cop, and a technical analyst?"
"Hey…" Garcia threw a bit of her ham and cheese sandwich at JJ.
"Okay… So technical analysts can get wild and crazy," Emily said in a placating tone.
"You better believe it!"
"Still, what are the guys going to do tonight?"
"Reid said they were staying at Hotch's place. Will promised me he'd stay sober and take care of Henry." JJ assured them while she dug into the guacamole with a corn chip.
"At least you can count on him." Emily said with a sigh. "I'd kill for a guy like that."
"What about Hotch?"
"No way,he's my boss and he never smiles." Emily said promptly.
"He's not that bad."
"He's still hung up on Haley."
"True," Garcia said and JJ nodded in agreement.
"I'd never date my boss. It's asking for trouble."
"What about the others?" JJ asked.
"I don't think so! Rossi is too old and Morgan has a trouble with commitment."
"Rossi might be old, but he's kind of cute." JJ said.
"Oh, does someone have a crush on the older man." Garcia laughed.
"No, I admire him. He came out of retirement to help when Gideon left. He's a great profiler."
"What about Morgan? He's gorgeous and he loves his mama and sisters." Garcia interjected.
"Yeah, but he has a hot temper, and he gets into nearly as much trouble as Reid," JJ said.
"That's true… That's why I have Kevin. He's cute and smart and I don't have to worry about him getting blown up on the job. He's sweet and caring and -"
"Okay, that's enough about the great Kevin Lynch." JJ interrupted and got a dirty look from Garcia for her trouble.
"What about Reid?" Garcia asked as she poured herself another glass of wine and snagged a piece of pizza from the box.
"Reid's too young." Emily said around another mouthful of popcorn.
"He's cute though!" Garcia said.
"He likes Star Trek and goes to Comic-Con." JJ added while settling back on several pillows she piled on the floor next to the couch.
"He's sweet." Garcia pointed out.
"He's too shy." Emily said over her second bottle of beer.
"That makes him endearing." Garcia said.
"I make it a policy not to get hung up on a guy that's popular with hookers." Emily said as she reached over Garcia and piled some pot stickers and another slice of pizza on her plate.
"What is up with that?"
"I don't know. He's cute and everything, but then so are the rest of the guys on the team." JJ said, getting up to grab another Diet Coke.
"I think it's because he's so vulnerable and non-threatening."
"So you think they want to mother him rather than have sex with him." Emily said.
"No, I think they want to do both - which is really weird when you think about it."
"I don't think about it." JJ said loftily before grabbing more popcorn out of the bowl.
"So you've never had a fantasy about my baby boy." Garcia challenged her friend.
"No! I'm taken and I have a baby!"
"What about before Will?" Emily wanted to know.
"No, I never thought that way about him."
"I don't think I believe you." Garcia said over her wine.
"It's true. We're friends and that's all. We went out once, but it didn't work out."
"Okay… What about you, Emily?"
"How did we get from talking about hookers and Reid, to me and Reid?"
"Oh, so there is a you and Reid?" JJ asked gleefully.
"No, he's got Austin. He's over the moon for her. You guys know that."
"True, but that doesn't mean you can't look."
"Garcia!"
Emily threw some popcorn at here friend and Garcia threw a handful back at her friend. "Hey, stop wasting the popcorn!" JJ yelled at the two women. "Let's watch the movie."
"No! We haven't heard about Garcia's thoughts on Reid." Emily said.
"That's because I've never thought of him that way."
"Why not?" JJ said around more chips and dip.
"Because he's like a brother and that's just wrong."
"Never!" Emily asked in a sing-song tone.
"No!" Garcia insisted, but she'd gone a bit pink in the cheeks.
"I think someone is lying!" Emily insisted in that same tone.
"Alright, I admit that I did think about it once. But, I plead temporary insanity at the time. It was right after Georgia."
"Oh!" JJ and Emily said at the same time.
"Yeah… I was really upset by the whole 'watching Reid die on the internet' thing. When he was in the hospital afterwards, well he was just so cute and well you know how all the nurses sort of hovered over him."
"Yeah, I remember that."
"Well I started thinking that they should all go away because I could take care of him. Well, it sort of got out of hand, but after it was over, I came to my senses and went back to worshiping my chocolate God. I realized that it was just a highly emotional thing and it was better if we were friends."
"Hm…" JJ said winking at Emily.
"I'm serious!"
"We know you are. We're just teasing you!"
"Okay… but seriously girls, will we ever understand the mystery of Reid and prostitutes?" Garcia said in a very pensive tone.
"No! It's just one of those things you have to accept as one of the great unsolved mysteries of the universe." Emily declared.
"Just accept the fact that we'll never really know." JJ agreed.
"Yeah, Reid and hookers are like Schrodinger's Paradox, greater minds then ours may never figure it out! Emily declared."