It's not over, even when they say it is.
By TheBoyWithTheBreadPeeta (Katryna L)
Hi everyone. This is not my first fanfiction, it's just, I forgot my other accounts email and password, so shame on me. This is how ever, my first Hunger Games fanfic, and also the first one to have sexual references in later chapters. A little bit to know about me. I am random and also I am only 15. Well I hope you enjoy my fanfiction.
I do not own Hunger Games or any songs/ characters mentioned only my thoughts and plots.
Chapter 1: The end only brings a worse beginning.
Katniss POV
I am like a stone; I am dead to the world. Maybe I would be better off dead than alive. Maybe everyone would have been happy. No one would have died for me. No one would have suffered. Well except for my family, Gale, and….Peeta. They would miss me yes, but no one would have died because of my stunt in the first Hunger Games, the 74th Hunger Games.
I sit up, curled in a ball on my couch. As I've mentioned before, I am a stone, and stones do not move. Stones neither eat nor talk. I eat only because I am forced to. Greasy Sae comes to visit me with her grand-daughter, April, every day to make sure I eat and then leave. I wish they wouldn't try and just leave to wither away. Haymitch does that, but he is drunk half the time and could care less.
Everyone has left me though, it is another reason I wish Sae would leave me to wither away. Haymitch never visits, like I said probably too drunk to care. My mom moved to District 4 to help set up a new hospital and run it, leaving me here in this painful place, never once did she call(that I know of, I never answer the phone). Gale moved to District 2, leaving me and his family behind to become Head Peacekeeper there. Peeta, well, he is still in the Capitol getting treatment for his hijacking, but it feels as though I have been abandoned. Then there is Prim, my sweet little innocent Prim. Prim, is dead. She died for the sake of the damn rebellion, and all I did was watch.
I don't know what caused this, but suddenly, I am bounding up the stairs and into my bathroom. The tub has filled up and I have slid in. That's when I realize what I want to do. I want to drown myself, to be with Prim, my dad, Finnick, Cinna, Rue, and everyone else that died because of me, or for me. I sink lower in the tub. I think I am underwater for maybe two minutes when arms are shooting into the icy water and dragging me upward.
I mentally curse out the person whom has just saved my life. I wanted to be with everyone, I swore I saw them all, just as I went under. I hear screaming, and someone is shaking me, but I'm too tired to care, of course that is until I see who is holding me. When I just look up, I see two piercing blue eyes and shaggy blonde hair. Peeta Mellark has just saved my life again, and I hate him for it. I give him the best glare I can muster and he glares back, actually making me flinch.
"Why, why did you bother coming back?" I rasped, I hate how unsteady my voice is and how sore my throat is.
"I wanted to help you, since you won't answer your phone, long enough for doctor Aurelius, or I to check on you! I tried calling you a dozen of times for the Capitol, but when I finally return to District 12, I find you trying to kill yourself in your own damn bathroom!" I know I have made Peeta mad, since he hardly ever cusses, but in a way, I wish he wouldn't have come back, and then I could be free. I would no longer be the Mockingjay.
"I tried to kill myself because I was alone. I wanted to be with my dad, and my sister. They all died because of me. Haymitch drinks too much and never visits. My mom and Gale moved to different Districts because of me. You've been gone so long and I thought you were never coming back, so what was the point in living!" My voice is coming back, but it is thick and full of pain. Tears have found their way into my eyes and down my cheeks, but Peeta just stares at me.
Wordlessly, Peeta scoops me up and carries me to my room. He grabs out a sun dress, sun-set orange, and matching under clothes before leaving me to dress. I know he is standing outside my door, I can hear his foot tapping, as though he were creating music. I dress noiselessly before sitting on the edge of my bed and clear my throat, loud enough for him to hear.
Peeta re-enters my room and casually sits next to me, his eyes burning with emotions; hatred, love, agony, and pity. I sigh and frown and he just stares at me and then he speaks, finally.
"Katniss, you know I couldn't leave you, not in a thousand years, it just isn't possible. Whether you return these feelings or not, I will always love you that is why I can't leave. These past few months have been hell for me, I couldn't stop thinking about you. Every time I called though, you never answered, Sae did, but she said you never moved. The girl on fire became stone. I grew worried and worked hard on recovering, and the minute I was deemed stable, I rushed back home, to find you trying to die. I grew upset, because I didn't want you to leave me. You're all I have left." I look over at Peeta to see the tears trailing down his face and my heart breaks. I hurt him again. Suddenly, I remember the words Haymitch had told me long ago, 'You could live a thousand lives and still never deserve him.'
"Oh, Peeta, I am so sorry, it is just well, everyone is good and dead and gone, and I grew tired of it. I didn't realize what was happening until I was drowning myself. I saw them all, and you pulled me out, and at first I hated you, because you took me away from them, but I am glad you did, because you need me, and I don't want to hurt you anymore." A few tears fall down my cheeks and his hand is brushing them away. With-out words, he embraces me in his strong, warm arms, holding me there as though he'd lose me if he just let go, and he might have if he hadn't of come sooner.
"Shh Katniss, it's alright," he murmurs when sobs begin to wrack through my entire body. I am sure I looked pathetic right now, but I could care less. I just wanted someone to be there for me, even if it's only for a moment. My sobs begin to soften as Peeta hum (he actually hums) and strokes my hair softly. I quiet down to listen to him and he smiles and stops. "Better?" I nod.
"Peeta, I haven't had a good night of sleep and months," I confess and he nods to say, me as well or continue, "so, would you stay with me?" I know his answer before it is out of his mouth, just like every other time before something bad happened.
"Always." That night when I went to bed, Peeta's strong arms were there to embrace me, and for the first time in what felt like an eternity, I slept blissfully, with-out a nightmare to wake me.