Hi everyone. With all the talk about a certain movie coming out March 8th and all the 'conspirasy' talk. Plus all the different videos talking about it and everything else. Well, this popped in my head this morning. I wanted to get this out before this weekend, but there was no listing for that movie yet. So I put this 'here'.

This is a 'fictional' - I repeat FICTIONAL - conversation between a studio president whom we'll call 'Micro Rodent'(and there are a LOT of rodents, don't get any ideas) and the head of a review site we'll call 'Rancid Vegtables'(Lima Beans come to mind - YECH!) that takes place at an 'undisclosed location'(Oohh!) on Feb. 19th or 20th.

I repeat. This is FICTION. NO actual conversation took place, that I know of.(It would be wild if it did, though).

I hope you enjoy.

M.R. - 'Hey. How's it going? Long time no see( ;) ;) )

R. V. - 'Not bad. Not bad at all. Miss working with you, but being 'Prez' here, it's not half bad.

M.R. - 'Glad to hear it. Look. While we're here, I need to ask a ...favor. For old times sake.'

R.V. - '? What kind of favor are we talking about?'

M.R. - 'Well, you know that movie we have coming out in a couple weeks?'

R.V. - 'Who doesn't?'

M.R. - '#$$&%$&... Well that star of it is... well...'

R.V. - 'Dumb as a box of rocks...'

M.R. - 'RANCID !'

R.V. - '... big ass mouth, no tact meter. Or a sense of who her audience is.'

M.R. - '(grumbles)... Excactly. (Should've hired E.)'

R.V. - 'So what can I do about it? You dropped the ball on that one.'

M.R. - 'I know. Believe me I know. What I need is help with all those negative reviews on yo-'

R.V. - (Holds up hand) 'Not you, too?! For the millionth time, those are NOT REVIEWS! Those are for either 'wanting' or 'NOT wanting' to see a movie. THEY ARE NOT REVIEWS!'

M.R. - 'Okay. Okay. Calm down. (sheesh) I know, but regardless, that score is so low(insert joke here), it's starting to affect..'

R.V. - '? 'starting' to affect ?'

M.R. - '... our projected box offices numbers.'

R.V. - 'Again, what can I do about it?'

M.R. - 'Simple. Drop the meter.'

R.V. - 'WHAT ?!'

M.R. - 'Drop. The. Me-'

R.V. - 'I heard you. I just can't believe what I heard.

M.R. - 'Why?'

R.V. - 'Because you and every other studio like it as a way to track your movies.'

M.R. - 'Well, I don't like it that much anymore.'

R.V. - 'I don't know...'

M.R. - 'Call it a favor... for old times.'

R.V. - 'Even if I do this, the people that clicked 'No' aren't going to majically change their minds. Neither will the ones that were going to say 'no' in the future. You might even make more people mad(if that's possible).'

M.R. - 'It's all about the optics. If that number isn't there, we can give this a more positive spin. And we need this to do well. Especially after that b-'

R.V. - 'Micro!'

M.R. - 'As I was saying, After that broad 'K' has damn near ruined our other franchise. (sighs) We give her a 42 year old pot of gold and almost overnight she's turning it into a 5 cent bucket of sludge.

R.V. - '(sighs) Fine. I'll do it. But I can't just do your movie. I have to do all of 'em. And our fans aren't going to like it.'

M.R. - 'Meh. People are stupid little sheep. They'll forget. So how long will it take?

R.V. - 'Wow. Your opinion of people is heartwarming.'

M.R. - '(ignores) How. Long?'

R.V. - 'Today's what, Tuesday? Give us until this weekend to have it set up.'

M.R. - 'That long?!'

R.V. - 'Contrary to what you see in TV and movies, Changing an entire site is not just click, click...done. There's more to it than that.'

M.R. - 'Well.. I guess that'll do.'

R.V. - 'It'll have to.'

(Both shake hands)

M.R. - 'Thanks for doing this. I owe you big time. How about a percentage of this franchise sound?

R.V. - 'How about a theme park instead? (under breath) something that'll make money.'

M.R. - 'What was that?'

R.V. - 'Oh, nothing. Nothing at all. ;) '

Well, that about wraps it up. I hope everyone enjoyed this totally imagined conversation. Like I said above, I would have fine-tuned this more, but I wanted to get it out before this weekend. (Oh, and if you're wondering, FF doesn't like using real names.)

Any comments, both good or bad, are appreciated.

Louis