Chris McLean and Don are standing on the docks of the newly rebuilt Camp Wawanakwa.
Chris starts, "It's been five seasons and one spin-off…"
"...with two hosts and 84 contestants…" Don continues.
"...and now, we're all here for one last season, a reunion, think as you will." Chris finishes.
"Every contestant, well, except Dwayne, Kelly, Gerry, and Pete, will be competing in a season for the ages!" states Don.
"So take any necessary potty breaks, and get ready for…" says Chris.
"Total...Drama...DOMINATION!" both hosts yell.
*cue intro, which I will not show to avoid spoilers*
"Welcome back to Total Drama Domination." says Don. "We are just about ready for our campers to arrive one last time."
"And here they come! First is...Ezekiel!" says Chris.
Ezekiel walks onto the dock. He is not pleased.
"Yo, eh! You don't know how lucky I am to no longer be a mutant, eh?" Ezekiel spat.
Chris, not fazed by Ezekiel's anger, shrugs. "Well, what do you want me to do about it? You're obviously going to be voted off first anyway, so…"
Offended, Ezekiel kicks Chris in the crotch, who screams in pain. Don laughs at this.
"Next we have...Eva!"
Eva walks down the dock.
"This better be worth it. I even took a year's worth of anger management classes to help me do better on this crummy show."
"Nice to see you making an effort," Chris says, not as proud of her as you think. "Next is...ugh, Noah!"
Noah struts down the dock with a grin on his face.
"Oh look, two hosts. Guess you've never heard the phrase, 'two wrongs don't make a right,'" Noah snarks, obviously enjoying this.
"I'm starting to see why you hate him," Don says to Chris.
"Eh, you'll have to get used to it eventually," Chris replied.
"At least I have a girlfriend, and you don't," Noah retorted.
Both hosts' eyes widened at their burn. "OK, OK, next is formerly hot contestant...Justin!" said Chris, with a grin back on his face.
Justin storms down the dock. "Formerly, Chris?! Formerly?!"
"Oh look, still self-absorbed as always!" said Chris while still grinning.
"You're one to talk! And I'm a changed man! You do not need to rub my past in, thank you very much!" said Justin.
After the angry teen made his way towards the others, a now worried Chris whispers to Don, "Maybe this season won't be as good as I thought."
A still-grinning Don said, "Oh cheer up, old news! Here comes Katie!"
While Chris fumed at Don's insult, Katie walked down the dock.
"Eeeeee, I'm so glad to finally be back! I wonder if Sadie will be here, too!"
Don, wanting to play the role as good host to Chris' bad host, smiled. "Oh, she will! All of our past contestants who aren't parents or old men will be competing this season."
"Eeeeeee!" Katie delightfully squealed as she made her way towards the other campers.
"Next is...Tyler!" said Chris.
Tyler runs down the dock. "Alright, yeah! I'm back again on Total Drama, my favorite sport!"
Both hosts facepalmed. "Alright, well next is...Izzy!" said Don.
Nothing happened. The hosts look around. "Oh, Iz-zyyyy!" called Don. Chris makes a wolf whistle (don't ask why, he just felt like it).
Izzy suddenly tackles Chris to the ground from behind him.
"Gah! Izzy, why'd you do that?"
"Why not? I miss ol' Christy!"
Don had to laugh again as Izzy made her way towards the other campers.
Chris sighed. "Next is Cody, the Codemeister!"
Cody made his way down the dock. "'Sup Chris?" he greeted.
"Hey hey, Cody! Think you can win?" He replied back.
"Not sure yet. Who's this?" Cody asked, pointing at Don.
"This is Don." Chris answered.
"Oh, that's who! I didn't really watch the Ridonculous Race since you weren't hosting," said Cody as he stood with the others. Don crossed his arms angrily as Chris smirked at him.
"That was different. I'm definitely not complaining, though! Next is Beth!" Chris welcomed.
Beth ran down the dock happily. "OMG, Don! You're here, too?" she exclaimed.
"Looks like I have my fair share of fans as well!" Don smirked at Chris, who briefly glares before returning to his ever-present smile. "Yes; both of us hosts are here. In just a few moments, you'll be seeing who else you'll be competing with, so can you get with the other campers, please?" asked Chris.
"Yes sir, Chris!" And with that, there were nine teenagers lined up across the hosts.
"Are you ready Katie? Because here's…Sadie!" Don beamed.
Sadie walks down the dock, then upon seeing Katie…
"EEEEEEEE!" Both girls screamed.
"I've missed you so much Katie!"
"I know, right! We're finally getting to compete again!" And with that, both girls squealed.
Don continues. "Next is...Courtney!" Chris groans upon hearing the name.
Courtney walks down the dock.
"Hey Courtney." Chris said, trying to sound as happy as possible. He knew it was coming.
But to his surprise, Courtney smiled and replied, "Hey Chris!" Chris was confused, but nevertheless liked the C.I.T.'s behavior. After all the lawsuits he got from her, he was glad she was letting him off easy.
"And next up...Harold!"
Harold walked down the dock.
"So you're telling me you guys rebuilt this crappy summer camp we're all staying at again?"
Chris said, "Yes Harold! Just like the first season!"
As expected, Harold smiled. "Sweet! I have so many awesome memories of this place!"
"Now let's welcome...Trent!"
Trent walked down the dock with his guitar.
"Hi guys. Did I miss anything while I've been gone?"
"No." Don replied.
"Except for…" Chris interjected.
"HUSH! Moving on, we have Bridgette!"
Bridgette walks down the dock.
"Bridgette! Welcome back! Happy your boyfriend won Don's show?" Chris asked.
"Yeah," Bridgette replied, a bit confused by Chris' irritated tone.
"Well, maybe you could win my show, too!" He smirked at Don, who rolled his eyes. "Next is...Lindsay!"
Lindsay went down the dock.
"So this was what I've been missing…" said Don.
"Hi Chip! Hi Daniel!" Lindsay greeted, getting their names wrong as usual.
"You'll get used to it." Chris said. "Next is...DJ!"
DJ went down the dock, looking around nervously. "You're not going to harm any animals this season, are you?"
"Uhhhh, mayb-" Chris began.
"Nope! None this season! We wouldn't want this man *points at Chris* to end up back in the slammer!" Don quickly finished.
"'K, that's a good point." DJ smiled.
"Next is one half of the Ridonculous Race's winning team, Geoff!"
Geoff came off his boat giddy as ever.
"Woohoo! Ready for round 2!"
"Well if you can do it on his show, you could definitely do it on mine!" Chris said.
"Awesome, man! Thanks!" Geoff said.
Chris slapped himself in the forehead while saying, "stupid, stupid, stupid!" He was not trying to make Geoff feel good.
"Next we have...Leshawna!"
Leshawna came off her boat. "Hey y'all! Leshawna's in it to win it this time! This'll be my lucky season!"
"Nice energy. With how big you are, it's no wonder," Don quipped.
Big mistake. "OH, HELL NAW! YOU DID NOT JUST MAKE FUN OF MY WEIGHT!"
Don shivered at the hole he just dug himself, while Chris laughed.
"Alright well, now let's welcome back Duncan!"
Duncan came down with a smirk on his face. "Hey hey, Princess, miss your prince?"
Said Princess immediately kicked the delinquent in the crotch.
"Ooh, drama! Just what the show is known for! Now let's welcome back Heather!" Don announced.
"Welcome back, Heather! I bet you missed your boy toy!" Chris quipped. His crotch received another date with a teenager's shoe.
"Come on, REALLY?! It just healed, even!"
"Now let's welcome back Gwen!" Don announced.
Gwen came down the dock. Duncan was the first to talk to her.
"Missed me, babe?"
He was answered with another kick to the crotch.
"Aw man, really!"
Don snickered. "Man Duncan, you and Chris should really get together sometime!"
Both males in question grabbed Don's balls, one for each of them.
"YOOOOOOOWW!" Don cried.
"They've got you by the balls, now!" Noah snarked.
"*bleep* off, Noah! Hey, speaking of which, here comes Owen!" said Don.
The last of the first 22 campers ran down the dock.
"WOO-HOO! I am so ready!" cried Owen. He turns to Noah. "I've missed my little buddy!"
Noah squeals (not in delight) when his back breaks. "If I win, remind me to spend my money on a personal chiropractor."
"Now let's welcome Sierra!" said Don.
Sierra began squeeing as she sprinted towards Cody. Much to everyone's surprise however, Cody responded to Sierra's hug with a thumbs up.
"Ever since we became friends near the end of World Tour, she's introduced me to some of the deeper levels of knowledge she already knew about," explained Cody. "And that Chris, was why I was nice to you."
Chris shrugged. "Works for me. Now it's time for a handsome young man who is nowhere near as handsome as I am, Alejandro!" he said.
The second Alejandro's gray boot touched the deck, the other campers started booing him. Well, almost all of them.
"Hey, back off! Some of you don't even have a boyfriend or girlfriend!" cried Heather.
Alejandro smiled at her, and the two began kissing.
"Yuck," said Chris. "Moving on, we have...Mildred." Geoff shivered at that name.
Blaineley ran to Chris angrily. "WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT CALLING ME MILDRED?!" AS IF IT WASN'T BAD ENOUGH THAT COWBOY *points at Geoff* IS HERE!"
"HEY, LEAVE MY MAN ALONE!" the normally kind Bridgette snapped.
CONFESSIONAL: Would they be putting the "Total" or "Drama" in Total Drama?
Geoff: That's my girl!
Chris barges in angry. "NO NO NO! WE HAVEN'T INTRODUCED THE CONFESSIONAL YET!" he roared.
*STATIC*
"As much as I love the drama, it's a half-hour show, so now let's move on to our second generation cast! Say hello to Staci!" said Chris.
"My great great great great great great aunt Bertha invented docks. Before that, we would just stop at the shore," said Staci.
"Oh god, why do you do this?!"
"Um, well…"
CONFESSIONAL: My great great great great great aunt Lucinda invented being thankful for things. Before that, people would just say "thank you."
Staci: OK, so I have to come clean. I'm trying to be like my idol Kathy Griffin, because she sounds just like me, and she lies a lot, yah.
Chris barges in again. "Aw, nice story, BUT WE STILL HAVEN'T INTRODUCED THE CONFESSIONAL!" he yelled.
"Now let's welcome Dakota!" said Don.
"CHRIIIIIS!" screamed Dakota.
"Oh nooooooo…" he knew what was coming.
"I AM GOING TO KICK YOUR BUTT IF YOU TRY TO TURN ME INTO A MUTANT AGAIN!" boomed Dakota.
"Yes, Dakota," Chris said with faux fear. "Now let's welcome Beverly!"
"For the last time Chris, it's B," a deep voice rang. A horrified Chris turned and saw B right next to him.
"Holy *bleep*, it talks!" he answered. B stormed off towards the other campers.
"One of the reasons why I love being the newer host: people don't already hate you." said Don with a smirk. "Now let's welcome Dawn!"
"Why are you introducing yourself? Oh wait, never mind," said Chris, realizing his embarrassing mistake.
"Dumbass," Don whispered to the camera.
"I HEARD THAT!" rang Chris.
"He's not the only one either, you know," said Dawn, who had been standing next to Don ever since he welcomed her.
"Gah! Where'd you come from?" he wanted to know. But she didn't answer him. "OK, moving on. Next is Sam!"
Sam walked down, only with something missing.
"Where's your Game Guy?" asked Chris.
"I want to keep Dakota, since she's my first ever girlfriend, so I'm going to try and go without my games and see what happens," answered Sam.
"Good luck with that," Chris answered with no appreciation. "Now let's welcome Brick, a.k.a. Sir Leaks-a-lot!"
Brick runs down angry. "You are not authorized to call me any name but my first name, last name, first and last name, or my full name! Is that clear?!" he shouted.
"Sure, sure," said Chris, not caring. As Brick made his way towards the other campers. "Now let's give it up for Tan-in-a-Can herself, Anne Maria!"
Nothing happened. Suddenly, Chris' vision became blurry and his eyes burned.
"AH, SERIOUSLY?!" he screamed.
"What can I say, I use it for more than just my poof!" said Anne Maria, who then winked at the camera.
"While works on getting back his 20/20 vision, let's bring back Mike!" said Don.
Mike ran down the dock excited. "Woohoo, yeah! It's good to be back!" A lot of the campers who had already arrived looked at him quizzically. "What, I actually had fun here. I met my girlfriend here, and I cured my MPD while keeping some of their traits here, too!" Everyone nodded in agreement. They couldn't argue with him here. Chris, who had finally recovered from Anne Maria's spray, stood up.
"Now let's bring back Jo!"
"CHRIS! HOW DARE YOU TRY TO KILL ME IN ALL-STARS!" roared Jo upon arriving.
"Oh come off it, that was 2 years ago," said Chris, a bit irritated. Jo promptly punched Chris in the face, knocking him out with a black eye. Don proceeded to take a picture of him. "Now let's bring back Scott!"
"Hi guys," he greeted. Only a few people welcomed him back. "It's fine; I only just got here," he said about his lukewarm welcome.
CONFESSIONAL: Chris can't get me in here, now!
Scott: I'm still trying to win, but now I'm trying to be a nice guy, since Heather did it in season 3 and she finished second. That being said, I'm here to be the first villain to be nice all season and finish first.
*STATIC*
"Now let's say hi to Zoey!" said Don.
"Hey guys. So are we all going to be here?"
"Yes!" answered Don. "Well, except Dwayne, Kelly, Gerry, and Pete for obvious reasons."
CUTAWAY
Gerry and Pete are starting a fap-off, where whoever produces more cum while jacking off to this show wins.
RETURN
"Now, let's bring back Lightning!" said Don.
Lightning ran all the way to the hosts in three seconds flat. "SHA-YEAH! TOUCHDOWN!" he screamed.
"Still delusional as always, I see." said Don.
"Delu-what?"
"Never mind. Rounding out our second generation cast, it's Cameron!"
Cameron made his way down the dock. "Hi, Cameron!" most of the campers greeted.
CONFESSIONAL: Hi, Cameron!
Cameron: Ever since I appeared on Total Drama, my popularity both here and at school has gone up! I can't mess up now; I have so much riding on me!
*STATIC*
Chris finally regained conscious. The campers (and Don) groaned as he stood up. Chris flipped them off in return, but as a punishment for not yet being aware the cameras were rolling, it wasn't censored.
"Dude, snap out of it; you're going to get us fired!" cried Don.
"WHAT, FIRED ALREADY?!" Chris screamed, finally regaining his senses. He scanned the arrivals. "Well, it looks like the first two generations are here, so let's introduce our third generation cast! Let's start with Beardo!" he said.
Beardo comes down the dock, imitating the sound of SpongeBob's squeaky shoes as he does so.
"OH MY GOSH, WAS THAT SQUIDROB TRIANGLESHORTS?!" cried Lindsay.
"You mean SpongeBob SquarePants," corrected Beth. "But OMG, THAT'S AMAZING!"
Beardo turned and winked at them, with a ding going off as he winks.
"Now let's welcome Leonard!" said Don.
"Greetings, fellow Earthlings," said Leonard. Everyone looked a bit put off by this, while both hosts facepalmed.
"Alright, moving on," said Chris. "Let's bring back Rodney!"
As Rodney made his way down the dock, he had his eyes on the female campers. Oh...my, he thought. He stood next to Leonard.
"Now, here come the twins, Amy and Samey!" said Don.
"ME FIRST!" Amy yelled, pulling Sammy back behind her.
"IT'S SAMMY!" the other sister cried.
"I don't care," said Chris. "And neither does he." *points at Don* "Now let's welcome Ella!"
Ella went down the dock. "Hello friends. I'm glad we can all get together one last time."
"But no singing this time!" ordered Chris.
"Why not? You had an entire season's worth of campers sing in TDWT!" Don pointed out. All of the campers who competed in TDWT immediately glared down Chris. "And besides, it'll boost the ratings!"
"Ugh, fine!" succumbed Chris. "Now here's...ugh, Topher."
Topher ran down and immediately pushed Chris into the water. "THAT'S FOR GETTING ME ELIMINATED LAST SEASON!" he roared, before making his way towards the other campers.
"Now let's welcome back Dave!" said Don.
Dave grumbled. "Gee, I wonder what'll happen here," he said. "At that other island, I nearly got mauled by a bear!"
"I actually don't know yet," Don answered truthfully.
At this point Chris returned to the surface. "Now let's bring back Scarlett!" he said.
Scarlett walked down the dock. She sighed at the sight of the uneasy looks the other campers were giving her.
CONFESSIONAL: When brainiacs make not so brainy decisions.
Scarlett: OK, so turning into a psychopath and taking control of the island didn't work, so I'm going to have to play a more social game. Don't get me wrong, though; I'm still going to win that prize.
Chris: *barging in again* WE HAVE NOT INTRODUCED THE CONFESSIONAL! GET OUT!
*STATIC*
"Now here's Max!" said Don.
Max walks down the dock, holding what looks to be a taser.
"Prepare to meet my newest weapon of EVIL!" he said.
"Yeah, like that'll work. Now do me a favor and get with the oth-" Chris did not get to finish, as Max's taser was actually not flawed. Chris gripped his crotch, where he had been struck.
CONFESSIONAL: Evil is smarter than it looks.
Max: I spent my entire offseason reading the Evil For Dummies book. DO NOT CALL ME A DUMMY, THOUGH! DO YOU HEAR ME?
Chris: *barging in again* YES, DUMMY! GET OUT OF THE CONFESSIONAL I HAD RESERVED FOR ITS INTRODUCTION LATER ON!
*STATIC*
"Now let's welcome Jasmine!" said Chris.
Jasmine got off her boat. "G'day mates!" she said happily.
"Wow, you're so tall!" said Don.
"Careful, she might squish you!" Chris quipped.
"DON'T YOU DARE, MATE!" Jasmine screamed, frightening Chris. "Damn," he said. "She can totally scream."
"Now here comes Sugar," said Don. "Wonder if she's sweet as sugar."
"Oh, she totally is!" chimed Ella. Her Maskwak teammates shook their heads.
"Oh no, I know that bitch is not here, too!" Sugar shouted.
"So much for being a family show," said Chris.
"Says the guy who's said words bad enough to actually get bleeped out," Don reminded. Chris promptly flipped him off.
"So did you!" Chris fired back. "Now let's bring in Shawn!".
Shawn walked down the dock. "Shawn the Zombie Slayer, at your service," he said.
Chris promptly laughed. "Would you slay this zombie?" He holds up the zombie mask he wore in the TDPI intro. Shawn promptly screamed, then took out a pocket knife and stabbed the mask, accidentally making a gash in Chris' thumb.
"OWWWWIEE!" cried Chris, who started sucking his thumb like a toddler. Everyone laughed as Shawn made his way towards the other contestants.
"Sorry about that Chris, he's still having zombie-related nightmares," Jasmine explained.
"And finally, world-class gymnast, and TDPI winner, Sky!" Don said. Dave shivered upon hearing the name.
CONFESSIONAL: They say the Sky's the limit...I haven't seen her limit anything.
Dave: Looking back at what happened in Pahkitew Island, I regret my behavior. I just hope Sky's ready to forgive me.
Chris, barging in again: Sweet love story, but DON'T USE THE CONFESSIONAL UNTIL I'VE INTRODUCED IT!
*STATIC*
Sky walks down, taking her place next to Shawn. Dave was about to walk to her, until...
"Now it's time to introduce the contestants of my generation!" Don beamed, much to Chris' irritation. "First let's welcome back Tammy!"
Tammy walks down the dock and hugs Leonard. "I've missed my wizard," she said happily.
"Hey, vikings and lizards were meant to live in harmony," Leonard replied.
Sugar, who had been watching the whole thing, looked shocked. She then seethed.
CONFESSIONAL: Sugar that doesn't taste sweet...wonder what that would taste like?
Sugar: How dare that Tammy steal my wizard!
Chris, outside the confessional: YOU KNOW WHAT, FINE! USE THE CONFESSIONAL WITHOUT MY PERMISSION; SEE IF I CARE!
*STATIC*
"Now let's welcome back our geniuses, Mary and Ellody!" said Don.
Mary and Ellody walked down the dock frowning. "I don't see why we all need to be competing," said Mary.
"I agree. There is only a 2.5% chance either of us will win," said Ellody.
"Oh look, more nerds I can pick on!" said Duncan gleefully. Both geniuses look at him with raised eyebrows.
"Now let's bring back the vegans, Laurie and Miles!" said Don.
The vegans walk down the dock angrily.
"You better not have us eat meat this season," Miles said to Don. "It took three months to break Laurie out of the mental hospital after you made her eat meat."
"Ooh, tell me more," said Chris, turned on by the morbidness of the vegans' story. Don pushes him away.
"Now let's welcome back Tom and Jen, our fashion bloggers!" said Don.
The fashion bloggers went down the dock. Upon seeing the less-conservative outfits some of the girls from the first three generations were wearing, they frowned.
"How are they going to stay warm in the winter?" Jen questioned Tom through a whisper. Tom shrugged but chuckled at Jen's cleverly-worded question.
"Now let's welcome back Taylor," said Don.
Taylor walks down the dock. "So glad I have an entire season without my bitchy mom," she said. All of the non-Ridonculous Race campers gasped, even Chris.
"Evil does not believe in the hatred of their mothers," said Max disapprovingly.
"She better stay away from my Momma," agreed DJ.
"That was low...even for me," said Chris.
"Alright well, now let's bring back the Adversity Twins, Jay and Mickey!" said Don.
The twin brothers went down the dock. Mickey started shivering. "Oh no, I'm starting to suffer anthropophobia!" shivered Mickey.
"We're not used this crowds of this magnitude," Jay backed him up.
"Now let's bring back the Stepbrothers and the Rockers!" said Don, a bit confused that both pairs were being introduced together.
"You can call us The Steprockers," said Spud as the four made their way down the dock.
"After the Ridonculous Race, we got together and formed a kickass rock band!" exclaimed Lorenzo.
Justin gasped.
CONFESSIONAL: How does this season sound for your first gig?
Justin frowned. "It seems everyone is starting to become more popular than me, but that just tears it," he said. "I'm trying not to be jealous, but I'm going to try and see if we can get The Drama Brothers to come back."
*STATIC*
"Now here's our youngest contestant, at age 13, Junior!" said Don.
As Junior made his way down the dock, many girls awed, with some of them (and some of the guys, too) giving him high fives.
"Man, he puts Dot Warner to shame with his cuteness," said Chris.
CUTAWAY
Inside the Warner Bros. water tower, the Warner siblings are watching the show.
"NO WAY!" screamed Dot. "EVERYONE KNOWS I'M THE ONLY CUTE ONE!" And with that, she throws a table at their TV, damaging it beyond repair.
Yakko and Wakko both gasped. "Our TV!" cried Wakko.
"And something tells me this isn't the worst of it," said Yakko.
RETURN
"Now let's bring back our Goths, Ennui and Crimson!" said Don.
Don, hoping to make them excited, blows a noisemaker and throws black, red, and white confetti as the couple makes their way down the dock.
As always, his attempt fails miserably. "We are not distracted by your attempts to make us...happy," Ennui said, not changing emotion.
"Yeah, exactly what he said," Crimson said with the same level of enthusiasm.
"I will get them to show emotion someday," Don vowed. "Now let's bring back Stephanie and Ryan!"
The couple walks down while making out. "Oh baby," said Stephanie. "We are not going to break this season."
"Yuck," said Chris, disgusted as always
at the sight of love.
"Moving on, we now have Carrie and Devin, Best Friends turned couple!" said Don.
As Carrie and Don went down the dock (while holding hands), most of the campers started cheering.
Sierra took a picture of them. "This is so going on my blog for the Cutest Couple award," she said.
"Alright, now here comes the sisters, Emma and Kitty!" says Don.
The girls went down the dock, each stopping at a different boy.
"I don't know why you're named Noah, when you make me say 'Yesah,'" said Emma. Noah blushed and giggled.
"Hello there, cutie," said Kitty. "Did you miss me?"
"Of course!" replied Mickey.
"OMG, just date already!" said Emma jokingly.
"Shut up!" laughed Kitty.
CONFESSIONAL: So much love in the air, not even Febreze could put it out!
Mickey sighed. "So I'm really nervous; I've never asked a girl out before," he said. "I don't even know how to do it! Maybe someone could teach me?"
*STATIC*
"Now here comes our 3rd place team," Don chuckled. "Jacques and Josee!"
The Ice Dancers skipped down the dock with their trademark grins.
"Hello out there fans!" said Jacques.
"We're sorry we let you down last time," Josee shuddered at the memory of getting third. "But this season, we will be the ones in the final!"
"Now let's bring back the Police Cadets!" said Don.
"Hey, when do I get a chance to introduce someone?" complained Chris.
"This was my generation, Mr. I Need Botox!" fired Don. "I get to do these introductions!"
The Police Cadets walked down the dock, waving as they were cheered upon.
"Sorry Josee, but we're the ones that has the fans' respect!" said MacArthur.
"Maybe if you hadn't cheated…" taunted Sanders. This earned a glare from both ice dancers.
"Finally, our other winning surfer dude, Brody!" said Don.
Brody went down the dock happy as ever. "Alright! I get to see my bro again!" Brody cried as he ran down to see Geoff.
"Are you kidding me, man? Your name has 'bro' in it!" said Geoff. Both surfer dudes laughed and high-fived, while a smile appeared on Bridgette's face.
"Alright, now that I'm finally getting a chance to speak…" Chris said annoyed. "Let's take a group photo!"
"I find it highly improbable that the dock can sustain our weight for much longer," said Mary.
"Well then stop talking! You're only holding us up even longer!" said Chris. "Now on the count of three, one, two, THREE!"
Chris' camera clicked, but then beeped. "Hold on, my card is full again." The campers groaned. "What? You don't know how often I have to take pictures."
The shows' camera shows us Chris' camera roll, consisting of about 99.99% child porn out of the Total Drama campers. After deleting the .01% that wasn't, Chris resumed.
"Alright, one, two…" his camera suddenly turned off. "Dammit, I'm out of batteries." The campers (and Don too now) groaned as the black-haired host emptied out two AA batteries and put in two new ones.
"OK, one, two, THREE!" he says again. The picture was taken, but the dock immediately collapsed, with everyone screaming as they submerged.
"Dammit, I knew I forgot to stand on the beach," Chris said while holding his drenched camera. "Oh well, at least I have my photos saved on my computer."
The cast is now at the place the elimination ceremonies happen.
"Now it's time to divide you guys into two teams," said Don.
"The teams have been pre-determined through a randomizer," said Chris. "So if you don't like your team, please complain to the randomizer, not me."
"Anyways, our first team is the Icy Iguanas, consisting of…
Sierra
Rock
Ellody
Justin
Tom
Stephanie
Eva
Jen
Bridgette
Ezekiel
Jasmine
Sammy
Ennui
Trent
Leonard
Amy
DJ
Sky
Noah
Laurie
Miles
Owen
Sanders
Sam
Dave
Taylor
Max
Leshawna
B
Crimson
Tammy
Jo
Rodney
Brody
Emma
Alejandro
Scarlett
Chet
Beardo
Sugar
...you guys will stand to my left," said Don. A cyan circle with an iguana appeared as the team took their places.
"Meaning the Hot Hippos, consisting of…
Lightning
Zoey
Blaineley
Lorenzo
Staci
Jacques
Brick
Devin
Carrie
Jay
Junior
Duncan
Ella
Dakota
Mary
Josee
Ryan
Cameron
MacArthur
Scott
Shawn
Heather
Gwen
Harold
Dawn
Beth
Courtney
Kitty
Izzy
Anne Maria
Sadie
Topher
Mike
Lindsay
Cody
Geoff
Tyler
Spud
Katie
Mickey
...you guys will stand to Don's right," ordered Chris. A magenta circle with a hippopotamus appeared.
"Cabins are not co-ed, like always, so boys, you will be on the east side of each cabin, while girls will be on the west. Iguanas, you'll be in the west cabin, while Hippos, you'll be in the east cabin," said Chris. "Go ahead and get set up; our first challenge is in an hour!"
And that's the end of the first chapter! This is my first ever fanfic, so no hate please! I wanted to see what it would be like if every contestant that wasn't an old man or a parent competed. I ended up undoing some of the undesirable changes made that derailed some characters, meaning Gwen and Courtney are friends again, Dave doesn't hate Sky with a burning passion, Dakota and Ezekiel aren't mutated, etc.
Read & Review! Stay tuned for the next chapter!