When September Comes
"Katherine Houghton Beckett, will you marry me?" Castle's face held a mixture of fear, longing, and hope. Kate was the woman he'd been waiting for his entire life. His soul-mate. His best friend, partner, and lover. This wasn't the proposal he'd imagined, but he couldn't afford to lose her. Not now. Not ever.
Her eyes, a deep forest green today, were glistening with unshed tears as Kate stared at the ring and the man holding it. So scared. So hopeful. So beautiful. Her first instinct was to say yes. To dive in. She'd dreamt of this moment ever since that day Castle accidentally proposed with Kevin's ring. She wanted this man as her husband. Just not this way. Not with secrets, lies, and anger between them. When she'd asked to meet him, saying they needed to talk, he'd said the same. She'd anticipated an ultimatum, a break up, or a broken heart. Likely, all three. She'd never imagined this. A proposal. A sincere, heartfelt proposal at their special place. Kate paused to look away. To gather her courage to say what she needed to say. Closing her eyes, she inhaled deeply, held her breath, counted to ten and exhaled. Still nervous, she stood. She couldn't remain seated there on the swing set and ask him to get up. No. That would hurt him - not just his pride. "Castle…Rick. Please come with me." She extended her hand to him. He slipped the ring in his pocket, met her gaze with eyes still so full of hope, and took her hand.
Kate led him over to a bench at the edge of the park. Seated side by side, she held onto his hand for dear life. She waited for him to speak, expecting him to back pedal with the proposal or at the very least, jokingly coax a response from her. When he held silent, she knew she had to respond. "Rick, I got the job. I found out just before I phoned you. I needed you to know." She paused, giving him time to process her latest revelation. "That ring, Rick. It's beautiful, but I can't accept it. Not yet. I lied to you, withheld information, and last night you were so terribly angry with me – rightfully so. Your proposal was perfect, but the timing…the timing, it isn't. I want to be your wife someday. Soon. But Rick, I want this job too."
"Kate, I'll come with you. We can settle down in D.C. We can have a long engagement. It doesn't matter as long as we're together. I'm all in, Kate. All in." Firm. No doubts. Not anymore. He believed in Kate, in them.
"Rick, I became a cop to solve my mother's murder. That was my mission. This federal job, it's what I want. I want to do more. To be more than just Johanna Beckett's daughter. To be more than her avenging angel."
"You are more. So much more!"
"I need to believe that. To know that. I need to give to you more than I take. You shouldn't have to scratch and claw to know me. To be with me. I can't take your ring, Rick. Not today. Please. Please forgive me." She touched his face reverently, her eyes pleading for him to understand. "I came here expecting you to break up with me. I didn't think you could possibly forgive me for yesterday's transgressions." Her words barely a whisper now. Her heart thudding in her chest. Anguished. Terrified. This time she had both feet out the door and she wanted in. She wanted him. She wanted them to work.
Castle caressed her cheek, kissed her softly. "I love you, Kate. More than I ever dreamed possible. I just want to be with you. I forgive you. You should know….Love and forgiveness go hand in hand."
Kate leaned her head against his shoulder. "Castle, you can't move to D.C. with me. Not right now. Alexis is here…and Martha. I can't take you away from your family. I won't. You can visit me and I you. For now. Until the timing is right. We can make a long-distance relationship work. At least, until Alexis finishes at Columbia."
"Kate, you are my family, too. As she so recently reminded me, Alexis is an adult. Pretty soon she'll be on her own. My mother, she's in and out of the loft all the time. She'd be more than happy to have the place to herself for a while. They wouldn't expect me to put my life on hold for them. They shouldn't." He rubbed his thumb in soothing circles over the soft center between her thumb and forefinger. "When are we expected in D.C.?"
Though she delighted in his use of the word "we" she didn't acknowledge it. "I was told I have to be there in three weeks. Gates agreed that this would be my last case. I'm scared, Castle. I'm scared and excited and hopeful."
"You are the most extraordinary woman I've ever met. You're brilliant at your job. I have faith in you." He tucked an errant lock of hair behind her ear and kissed her deeply.
She melted into his embrace. Thankful for this man. This kind, passionate, and fiercely stubborn man. This man she loved beyond all reason. For it was Castle who brought joy, hope, light, and laughter into her life. But, above all, he brought her love. He gave her love. Unconditional love.
He held her close and confided, "Alexis is going to Costa Rica for the summer and my mother is likely going to go on a holiday as well. Let me call them. We'll go to dinner. We can tell them your news. At the very least, you and I can spend our summer in D.C. Then, hopefully, come September, you'll accept my ring because you must know, Beckett, I will ask you again to be my wife."
Smiling now, her own eyes hopeful, she replied, "And I hope you know, the next time you propose, I'm saying yes. For better or worse, you're my one and done, Richard Castle."
Standing now, Rick reached for her hand and pulled her up with him. "Always. Now let's go home. We've got some news to share." Needing to feel her in his arms, he pulled her into a warm embrace. Their foreheads touching, he mused, excitement lacing his words, "I'm going to marry a Federal Agent. A hot Federal Agent!"
Kate rolled her eyes, not bothering to hide her smile. It was her turn now. To live her life without running. For the first time in fourteen years, Kate Beckett had both feet inside the door.
Their hands clasped and swinging between them, they grinned. "I hope our children aren't as stubborn as their father."
"Or their mother."