Dragon Age Origins and its character's are Bioware's.

Broken Mage

Some elves come out of the alienage full of hate. Some come out full of fear. Some rare elves come out with hope still burning inside. But some just come out very quiet and broken.

Elesse Surana spent every free waking minute in the tower's library. It was a refuge for her, where she could lose herself for hours in the marvelous books and scrolls. It didn't matter what the subject matter was; for her, magic theory was just as pleasing as the clever little anecdotes. Perusing the heavier works often had the side benefit of helping with her lessons, freeing up more time to spend reading.

With her nose in a good book she was in a world of her own. But she couldn't help noticing - whenever she returned a book to the shelves - that the curly-haired templar stationed at the door seemed to be staring at her an awful lot. She did her best to ignore it, grabbing the next book and retreating back to her table. She thought she should be used to the staring by now. Her unusual appearance had earned her uneasy looks her whole life. At least it wasn't as common at the tower as it had been in the alienage.

The combination of her bright red hair and slanted, sienna orange eyes tended to unsettle people. Some seemed to expect her to turn into a demon right in front of them. When she was little, Elly had overheard her mother telling her father that she'd had a brother with eyes the same color, but he had died very young. Her father replied that he wished Elly had died very young too. Not making a sound, the child had slunk back to her favorite spot among the vhenadahl's roots to daydream about what life might have been like if her uncle had lived.

Nobody had seemed the least bit surprised when she'd turned out to be a mage and was taken away to the tower. Once the young elf finally understood, she'd been willing to go. She had no strong ties to the alienage. The tower turned out to be something of an improvement: the residents were no more wary of her than they were of any other mage. Of course, that didn't stop the other children from shunning the child who 'looked different.' Elly kept to herself as much as she could, hidden behind a shield-like silence.

When they taught her how to read and introduced her to the library, she'd discovered a wonderful new world. The books were always there for her: thousands of doors leading to new, amazing places, just waiting to be opened. The most faithful of friends, they never judged or betrayed her.

So she ignored the templar's stare just as she ignored the rest. And she was shocked when, a few weeks later, he nervously cleared his throat and greeted her as she entered the library.

Over the last few weeks Elly had noticed that her training seemed to be winding down. Her mentor had given her more tests than actual lessons lately, and even more free time to spend in the library. So while she missed most of the considering looks she'd been getting from the older mages all day, she was not shocked when she was woken during the night.

She'd never had much trouble with her lessons, and she was as well informed as any apprentice could be. So despite the templars' dire expressions, she wasn't too nervous about the Harrowing. Even so, it was a relief to see a familiar face among them. Cullen, the curly-haired templar from the library, actually looked more nervous than she did. She gave him the tiniest hint of a smile, and saw a little bit of the tension go out of his face. They were both so reticent they'd not gotten far past exchanging shy greetings every day as she entered the library. But sometimes, when she got up for a fresh book, she'd catch him smiling at her, and amazingly enough she found herself smiling back. And unexpected though it was, it was nice.

The Harrowing wasn't quite what she'd imagined it would be, but she prevailed without too much difficulty. She woke up in her own bed, with Jowan standing nearby, anxiously shifting from foot to foot. "Elly, you're awake!" he cried, reaching down to help her up from the bed. Jowan had always been a bit odd himself, so he and Elly got along just fine. They'd spent many evenings talking about some of the more obscure knowledge they'd come across, while the other apprentices relaxed or invented games to entertain themselves.

But as she got to her feet, she found that Jowan only wanted to discuss her Harrowing. She regretfully dodged his entreaty for details, reassuring him that he was probably over prepared already and he'd do fine. She waved off his protests of having been there longer with a half-teasing "But I study harder!" and went to see what the First Enchanter wanted with her.

On the way to Irving's office she came across Cullen standing in the hallway. He looked relieved to see her up and about. "Hello, Elly," he greeted her, "I- I hope you're f-feeling well."

"You're not in the library," Elly gasped out before she caught herself. "Er, I mean, hello Cullen." She felt the start of a blush creeping across her cheeks. "Thank you, I feel fine."

"Oh, well uh, they change the postings up. Every 6 months or so. So nobody- so we don't get too, uh, comfortable." Cullen seemed to be turning an interesting shade of red as well. "Look, they ch- chose me to be at your Harrowing. I was to...you know..." He made a sword sweep gesture. "If you... you know." He made a 'rawr monster' face, and in spite of the subject Elly had to bite down hard on her lip to keep from laughing. But Cullen looked at her seriously as he continued. "But it's nothing personal! I- I'm just glad you're alright." He suddenly seemed to find something very interesting on his boots. "Just wanted you to know."

It was the most she'd ever heard Cullen speak at once. Elly shrugged helplessly and stopped fighting the smile that was trying to spread across her face. "Actually I was glad to see you there."

"Wh- What! At your Harrowing? Why?" Cullen's face turned back up to give her a baffled look.

Elly was sure her cheeks were as red as her hair now, but she bravely forged – or stumbled - on ahead. "Er, well. I guess you just- Ahem." Her voice dropped to a barely intelligible mutter. "Well, you make me feel sort of... safe." Suddenly back at a normal volume she burst into a flurry of excuses. "I shouldn't distract you from your duties. I'm supposed to go see Irving. I think something is on fire in the kitchen; I should go see if they need help. Or maybe it's just my face that's burning. I should...go." She started to slowly back away.

Cullen positively gaped at her for a moment, but then quickly waved his hands before she could escape. "Oh, you're not distracting. I mean, you are, but...well you're not." He winced at his words. "I mean, you can talk to me anytime you want." His face was surely as red as hers as he waited until he finally got a small nod from her in return. "Uh, yes. Maybe we can talk another time."

Elly somehow managed a small wave before she turned and fled towards Irving's office. She had to summon a bit of frost to cool her face, but she had regained her composure by the time she knocked on the First Enchanter's door. Despite the fact that he'd obviously just been arguing with the Knight-Commander, Irving looked pleased to see her. After introducing her to the Grey Warden, he congratulated her on becoming a mage of the Circle. As Elly grinned and thanked him, she realized she was actually starting to feel proud of her accomplishments. The Circle certainly wasn't perfect, but it was home.

She didn't know that in just a few hours' time, she'd be ordered by this man to betray one of the few precious friends she had.