Glenn, alone behind Noah's house, tried desperately to process everything that had just happened. In just a matter of what he guessed was just a few weeks (did time really have meaning these days?)...two beloved members of their group, their extended family had died. Tyreese was a loss for sure- he was strong, kind, always tried to do the right thing...and then there was Beth. Beth was not just another extended family member- she was his wife Maggie's sister. And now, after the horrendous loss of Hershel which affected every single surviving member of their group, and the loss of Beth...Maggie was the lone survivor of the Greene family. And he'd been powerless to protect the woman he loved most in the world.

Maggie had chosen to ride along in the other car...the one not transporting Glenn. She didn't say why, but he didn't need her to. She was broken, lost, isolated...and Glenn himself knew that he'd let her down.

If only he hadn't been sick at the prison...he could have stopped the governor. How, he didn't know...but he should have. He would have. Even if it had meant him sacrificing his own life, Glenn would have died rather than seeing Maggie grieve such a horrendous loss.

If only he'd gone with Daryl to find Beth...If only he'd stopped Beth from approaching that crazy lady at the hospital...If only...too many 'if only's' could and would drive any feeling man right out of his mind.

Maggie. How she'd recover from the loss of her family, Glenn had no idea. Throughout their time together, they'd been through so much...the loss of Hershel's farm...the governor's attack and near rape of Maggie...Hershel and now Beth's deaths...somehow, even in the back of his half-crazed grieving mind, Glenn knew that Maggie would never, ever be the same.

He remembered how helpless he'd felt when Maggie had almost been raped. All that came to his mind at nights during the aftermath was the moment back at the Greene farm when Hershel took Glenn aside and spoke words that had meant the world to Glenn, but now would haunt him for the rest of his life.

"No man is ever good enough for your little girl...until one is..."

Glenn, with the words of Hershel echoing stronger than ever playing over and over in his mind, sat, squatting in the grass, not four feet away from some half-ripped apart torso of a walker. He'd let Maggie down once again. Hershel had been many things- kind, wise, human...but he'd been very wrong about one obvious thing.

Glenn was not good enough for his little girl.

Yes, Glenn had long ago lost his family, and while it had been tough, they'd never been that close to his family. They'd had so many expectations of him...his career in pizza delivery and his pasttime of smoking the occasional joint was not what his parents had planned out for him, and they'd never let him forget it.

But when he met Maggie and Hershel...Glenn felt something that he'd never experienced in his life before.

Now he wasn't the disapointment to his teachers for not being the prodegy Asian student, graduating high school at the age of 12. He wasn't the embarrassment to his parents for not going to college, for taking a mediocre and low-paying job. He wasn't the awkwardly shy boy in high school too busy playing video games to learn how to land a date...

Maggie had liked him pretty much right off the start. True, their courtship got an abrupt push to serious when she offered to have sex with him (and apocalypse or not, he was a still red blooded boy)...but pretty quickly it became apparent to the both of them that their relationship would be more than just a sexual one.

She saw something in him, she seemed to depend on him pretty quickly...to trust him without question...and that appealed to him in a way that he'd never quite been able to understand. All he knew was that he would give his life to protect Maggie...now here he was, the survivor and constant reminder of how he'd failed her at the most important and pivotal times in her life.

Glenn had seen what loss did to a person. Rick had lost his mind at the prison...Shane before him had gone bat shit crazy trying to survive...Hershel hadn't always been so quick to accept and love Glenn...he'd had to go through his own personal journey in order to become the man that he'd become...Carol had lost her daughter...and was now a pretty tough lady...Tyreese had struggled after losing Karen...and the list went on and on and on.

Sometimes a person came out on top. Sometimes despite their loss, the person could come out stronger than ever.

But with Maggie...

somehow, just somehow...Glenn feared that she would never, ever be the same trusting lady who'd fallen in love with him.

If she blamed him for her losses, he couldn't blame her. He probably would too, if he were in her shoes.

So with a colt revolver pressed firmly against the palm of his hand, Glenn stared, knowing what the obvious solution would be, not just for his problems but to absolve Maggie of having to face him again, knowing that he wasn't the man Hershel and Maggie herself had wanted him to be.

There was no turning back, but the decision was made.

He took a deep breath, gathered his thoughts, and raised the gun to his head.

tbc