A/N: Shoutout to Kendrick Lamar's Sing About Me, I'm Dying of Thirst and Ludacris's My Chick Bad for helping me write this short oneshot. I felt as though Riley's story and emotions in TOL weren't captured enough, so here we go…
DISCLAIMER: i DoN't OwN tHe BoOnDoCkS!
A nigga's gone through some tough shit. I ain't gon' lie—I feel depressed sometimes. I'll probably find out I have STDs next month, and I'll have to figure out what random hoes I've been having sex with. And I still don't know what I'm gonna do if I do have it, being that Huey's now my parent/guardian ever since Granddad died. It was hard seeing the only person I ever really had as a guardian die. I never really knew my parents, and Huey's always been two years ahead of me… but not like a parent figure or a guardian. Never. He's been an advice figure, but never a parent figure. Just a brother.
It seemed like everything went bad at the same time for me, and no one else noticed, because I was essentially the only nigga affected by it. Yeah, that seems about right.
It all started when Granddad first got sick. The old nigga thought he was gonna die right then, and he started telling me how proud he was of me and how much he knew I would be able to do in life, and shit like that. Then he told me to call Huey in, who I'm pretty sure told him he wasn't gonna die, because I wasn't the one. Now, I didn't tell him just cuz I'm cocky and shit—which I will admit this once—but also because it really hit me somewhere. Like if the nigga really was gonna die right then, I would've wanted him to say that. It really touched me (no homo) in my heart. It touched me so much I started crying.
After that, I ran to C-Murph's house.
I started telling her everything that happened and began to cry again. She looked at me with sympathetic eyes and told me how she still considered me to have no fears, whereas she and every other bitch she knew—her words—had fears. I admired that about C-Murph. She was able to confess some things, and she taught me how to.
However, I didn't realize how much closer she had got…
…or that her hand was now on my right thigh…
And before I could really register what was happening, her lips fell on mine. And like that my first kiss—yes, my first—was gone.
It took me even longer to pull back from the kiss. What can I say? The tongue is mighty powerful.
"What are we doing? Who we fooling? Cin, it's me and you… you gotta let me know if you actually have feelings for me or if you were just caught up in the moment."
"I-I-We was caught up in the moment. Reez, it's either crime together or love together. We can't do both. And frankly, I wanna keep on being your ride or die nigga." I nodded my head to show her I knew where she was coming from.
"You right, you right. I gotta bounce, but I'll see you tomorrow at the jewelry store. Aiight?"
"Aiight. And don't forget your mask this time, nigga!" she called out as I left her house.
I remember it all so clearly. Maybe it's cuz my first kiss was with my ride or die, or maybe it's cuz she hasn't been keeping her word on our crime schedule. She does practically all her crimes with that nigga Ceez, but then when I do crimes with my new chick from Compton, she gets mad? Hell naw, nigga. I don't think so.
But then again, I have no one to blame but myself…
…maybe I should've chose love together instead of crime together…