Disclaimer - first things first - I don't own the characters, items or places mentioned. All of them are property of Bioware/Wizards of the Coast.

Well, this disclaimer is probably the only thing that's going to stay all the same. I'm completely rewriting the story now. I messed that up too much and it's not really fun anymore continuing the way it was, sooo - I started over now. It's gonna be a lot better, I promise. Still the same story basically, but quite different an approach. More flash-backs, less boring copied-form-the-game-dialogue (none if I can do it the way I'm planning to).
I'm also thinking about changing the title, but if you ask me - titles suck. But since the story has to have one, we are accepting submissions as of today... ;) no, but I'm serious. If you've got a good idea, tell me.
Okay, that's enough boring author's notes for now... please lean back and I hope you enjoy...

Shadow & Snackfiend - Thanks a thousand times for keeping reading and reviewing my stuff. It is mainly because of you two that I decided I really wanted to improve things about this story... I hope I did, and I hope you have fun reading.


Chapter One

"Lady, there is something that I think you'd like to tend to personally..."

The soft voice of the solar awoke the dozing goddess.

"You think so...?"

She slowly, tiredly stood up from the big, throne-like chair in the middle of the room, while the solar seemed to shake its slightly blurry head yes.

"The time for one of your old friends has come."

When she left the portal, the goddess already knew that it had led her to a battle-field before the blue dust had cleared away to reveal it - after so many years, she could tell. The screams of dying creatures, both on the plane their fading bodies dwelled on and on the plane their spirit had already partly entered. The sensation of magic and countless spells cast in the air. The smell of smoke, of fire, of burned flesh and hair. And, stronger than all the other scents, the one of blood.

The magic smoke finally cleared away. She was standing in the middle of an inferno of rather gigantic dimensions. A huge field of bodies, shining armory and weapons, all of them spilled with blood. On a hill on the horizon she could see a burning city, and she could feel the death everywhere. Some of the mortals were still fighting around her, but none of them seemed to notice the small elven woman that now slowly approached one of the hundreds that were lying on the ground. She did not need to search for him - even now that he was passing, she could still feel the light and power of his spirit, strong and refusing to be broken. She even believed that it was audiable somehow, as if his soul was singing one of his songs.

A huge warrior ran by her as she kneeled down, but he did not pay any heed to her. But the man on the ground did. His eyes, which he had already closed awaiting his death, flickered open.

"My raven..."

His voice was hoarse, but still as beautiful as she remembered it.

"I would... not have thought you... would give me the honor of... coming yourself..."

The bit of irony that had always been in his voice had not changed either. She smiled and reached out to softly touch the long hair, the color of which was somewhere between blue and grey and had always reminded her of clouds. And she realized that she felt affection, a deep, warm affection, again, for the first time in a century. She had almost forgotten what it was like.

"So it is... finally... time to go..." the man on the ground whispered, breathing heavily. She just nodded. He tried to nod, too, although his head hardly moved. Then he closed his eyes. She carefully laid a hand on his chest, and on a plane far away from Faerûn, the last of those who had known her as a mortal died.

When she returned to the round room with the high ceiling and naught but the throne in it, the solar was already awaiting her.

"Where is he?"

The solar's voice echoed in the empty room. The goddess climbed the few stairs and sat down on her throne heavily.

"Where should he be?" she asked and closed her eyes, "Near the Portal, awaiting either a new life or his fate for eternity..."

She felt empty and tired and did not want to talk.

"I'd like to rest now."

There was silence for a while and she believed the solar was gone.

"You did not bring him here?"

The question surprised her and she opened her eyes again.

"Even if I was allowed to - why would I bring him here?"

"He is the last one..."

The goddess shook her head.

"I don't want to hear anything about that... and I mustn't disturb the natural way of things - it is you who taught me that. I am the one who protects the balance between life and death. Chaos would reign if I broke the laws."

The solar bent its head to the right.

"Of course it is you who must decide, my lady... but remember, once he has passed the Portal, the last connection to your mortal life will be gone... maybe this is what you want... maybe you are absorbing in your role as a goddess now... but think about it... for I have seen many gods come and go, and I advise you - think about it."

The solar turned to leave.

"...think well..."

She felt a warm wind with the prickling of magic to it on her skin, and the solar was gone.

How long does a soul wait by the Portal? Jaheira once told me it depended on the spirit of the person... on their will to continue their life... but after some days even the strongest of souls cannot be resurrected, she said... no one can long refuse theirself to the Portal.

I am the one who protects the balance between life and death. I bring the souls to the Portal... no more... no less. My father abused his power... and see what happened.

I admit that I still think back to my mortal life often. I tried to forget, but I cannot... for between all the pain that I long to banish from my mind, I find my most precious memories...

Back then I had friends with me... maybe that's what makes the difference to me. That's what makes me belief the old times were better. Maybe they were... I don't know.

But it doesn't matter anymore. I can't go back.

I am the one who protects the balance between life and death. It is my duty.

I once wanted to break the laws of life and death... and I had to find out that I could not. I wanted to die myself at that time. But I had friends back then...

The solar is my friend. My teacher and advisor, the kindest and most loyal being one can imagine.

Yet I feel lonely. Empty. Tired of everything.

I was not lonely back then.

Which is a lie - I was. A being that is connected that closely with divinity will always be lonely, I know that now.

I had the chance to give up this connection... to give it up completely... and I chose to strengthen it instead. I wanted to be lonely. I did not want to be hurt anymore.

Feeling pain is better than feeling nothing.

How much time has passed since I brought him to the Portal?

I am the one who protects the balance...

I feel empty, and I want it to stop.

I feel lonely, and I'm tired of being lonely.

I cannot protect the balance when I am unbalanced myself...

This time she did not even wait for the blue smoke to clear away. She just ran out of the cloud of dust, looking around hectically. It was always hard to orientate near the Portal, because she saw the place like those waiting there saw it - which could be confusing as usually hundreds and hundreds souls were waiting there. She could see a big family sitting by the fireside in a huge hall, laughing and telling stories. But at the same place there were so many more, although none of them was in the hall. There were children playing on a meadow full of flowers in the bright sunlight. There were magicians, sorcerers, alchimists and many more wise-looking people of professions that were impossible to tell gathered in a huge library, where they read about the secrets of life itself, just to forget about them again as soon as they left the room through the small and unobtrusive wooden door in a corner.

She concentrated on one after another of the different layers, sometimes directly entered one to have a short look around, but the man she was searching for was nowhere to be seen... a huge stage full of minstrels, bards and story-tellers, but he was not among them... a tavern with the bravest of warriors, telling each other about their past victories... she briefly smiled at the irony that of course none of them mentioned the battle that had brought them to this place, but she did not take the time to really think about that, for he was not in this place either... a gloomy room full of the strangest of creatures, a wild mixture of beings from all kinds of different planes - he would have loved this place, but she could feel that his soul was not there.

A plateau atop a mountain so high that she could look down on the clouds from there... a small temple... a hall decorated with the banner of the Doom's Guard - he had to be there - but nothing, and the time was flowing by, it was running so quickly...

She found herself in the courtyard of an old castle, nobles in ostentatious clothes all around her. She looked around - no, of course he was not here. The place did not fit him at all. She realized that she was starting to change layers without even thinking about which one she was going to, so she stopped for a moment, trying to catch her breath. She closed her eyes to regain her self-control. She was running out of time, and a part of her wanted to break down and burst into tears, but she knew that her search would fail the moment she allowed herself to panick. So she took some deep breaths, inhaling the air that was full of the scent of the numberous flowers in the courtyard. It calmed her a little. She just wanted to continue her search, when a tall man dressed in a leather-armor and a dark cloak appeared right in front of her, a smug grin on his face.

"Doing my job again, are you?" he greeted her. His voice sounded sweetish, but his grey eyes were cold.

"Leave me alone, Cyric. I don't have time for one of your verbal fights right now."

His irritating smile stayed just the same.

"Then what a about a real fight?"

"I told you I don't have the time. Now leave me be."

Her sillouette grew transparent as she left the layer, but Cyric followed her without much difficulty. They were now standing on a wild open space, a desert with no sun but only thick clouds above it, in which there was raging a thunderstorm with no rain. Around them there were wild creatures, the ones that still looked most familiar to her reminded her distantly of minotaurus. She inwardly cursed for not paying attention to where she was going again.

"Murder and death were mine until you came..." Cyric spoke with a vexingly calm voice. It made her angry. She was wasting her time.

"I thought we had had our fight about this matter. You should be grateful that I spared your life, god of lies."

His evil grin flickered for a short second.

"Things have changed," he snarled, "Some things have to be decided anew..."

"Not today," she exclaimed with forced calmness. Every second that she spent talking to him was lost... Cyric laughed.

"You see what I mean? You are still talking about days now that time is not what it is for mortals to you... things here are going to change... soon."

"I DON'T HAVE THE TIME!" she shouted and fired the first spell at him that came to her mind. It was a rather weak fireball-spell that ricoceted from his armor without even leaving burns on the leather. Cyric's smug grin widened, if this was still possible.

"Pitiable," he said, "I don't want a victory over someone who is too confused to even choose a spell. The fairness in it could be doubted, so... I am going to leave you alone - for the moment... prepare better for the time I will come back."

He vanished into thin air, and the much more powerful death-spell that had been aimed at him this time hit a dead, dried up tree. She did not waste a second thought on him and left the desert.

She found herself under a clear nightsky where moon and stars were sparkling in their white light. The cool air felt good on her heated cheeks. She took a deep breath and looked around - again, she had switched to the next best place. A wide lake, black in the moon-light, streched between the grassy hills, and from somewhere she could hear the words of a song... a traditional elven song, as she remembered while she walked towards the sound. On the shore of the lake she could now see the silhouette of the singer, sitting there all alone, a harp in his hands. Although she was sure that he saw and heard her coming, he just continued playing his sad song, and she sat down beside him to listen. When he had finally finished, she asked, "What is the name of this song?"

He smiled.

"I thought you knew that, my raven. I once heard you singing it yourself."

She nodded.

"Yes... I used to like this song a lot. But I forgot..."

He chuckled.

"Instead of all the things that were more worth forgetting, the raven chose a song to forget... it is a shame, I say."

She could not help but smile, too. Although the smile did not last long.

"You have not passed the Portal yet...", she stated after a while, "I thought I might already be too late."

He laughed.

"I see you have not brought many bards and poets to the place where they bide their last life goodbye... I would suppose that no other being clings as much to this life as those who had the fame they always wished for... and as maybe you have not forgotten this sparrow is one of the most stubborn of all poets."

She smiled again. Yes, this poet had always made her smile, even in the darkest of days.

"And what would this sparrow say if I suggested that he could stubbornly cling to his life for some more time, in case he agreed to follow me away from this highly confusing place to somewhere he and the raven can talk...?"

He smirked, obviously amused about how she immitated his speech.

"The sparrow would say he'd love to."