Hey everyone! This is chapter one of my humor fic for Inuyasha. Disclaimer:
I sadly do not own any Inuyasha characters 'cept for Madame Chaos. But I do
have Sesshomaru and Naraku tied under my bed. *Sesshomaru crawls out from
under bed* Hey, fluffy, don't make me get the whip out!
Sesshomaru- You don't have a whip
me- note to self: buy a whip. Anyways, on with the show.
Naraku- can I watch TV?
me- *grumbles angrily to self and turns on the tube*
Madame Chaos- 3,2,3 wait, I mean 3,2,5 Damn! Why can't I get that right? *As she rants Inuyasha and the others appear out of thin air*
Inuyasha- Wha- what the HELL! But I was just about to slash Kouga to ribbons! *Starts weeping miserably*
Kouga- And I was just about to win Kagome over!
Miroku- And I was reaching for Sango's butt- I mean Sango's butter
*Sango takes boomerang and brings it down on Miroku's head.*
Kagome- You were trying to grope Sango while we were fighting? Unbelievable... And Kouga how could you win my heart while fighting Inuyasha?
Kouga- Thats a very good point. Amazing, you're gifted with beauty and and intelligence.
Sesshomaru- Don't you think we should be wondering how the hell we got here? But then again, no one listens to me...
Naraku- Now that we're here, I just wanted to say that Shippo killed Kohaku... for the second time! *Excellent, now they will kill the kitsune. MWAHAHAHA!*
Sango- What! You killed my brother for the second time! I thought I could trust you! *charges with a sword*
Shippo- Wait a minute! How could I kill Kohaku! He'd most likely kill me first.
Sango- I suppose you're right.
Madame Chaos- Ahem.
Inuyasha- Its a she demon! Lets get her!
Madame Chaos- Now, you wouldn't want to do that.
Sesshomaru- And why not?
Madame Chaos- Because I am your only way back home.
Miroku- May I ask what your name is, my lovely lady?
Madame Chaos- *sighs* My name is Madame Chaos, and whatever you are going to ask, the answer is no.
*miroku looks crestfallen*
Madame Chaos- Anyways, you are all probably wondering why you are here. You are in the scientific headquarters of NWR, New World Research. You have been chosen to be our test cases. Over the period of two months, I will be observing all of you, and testing some of NWR's products on you. *gets hit in the head with a paper airplane* I saw that Naraku.
Kagome- when did we agree to this?
Madame Chaos- *bursts into hysterical laughter* Oh, you're serious. This is not something you agree to.
Kouga- You mean we're stuck here? Together? Cool
Sesshomaru- There is no way I'm going to stay with these ingrates for two months!
Miroku- Sure, use big words to intimidate us.
Shippo- Do we get free food? *Madame Chaos nods* Then I'm fine with that.
Sango- How can you say that? We're being held captive-
Madame Chaos- You also get your own room
Sango- Oh, alright then.
Inuyasha- What kind of products do you intend to use on us?
Madame Chaos- I'm sorry, that is strictly classified and can only be discussed between NWR staff.
Shippo- Blah, blah, blah. When do we get the free food?
Madame Chaos- *sigh* Its in the lobby. Come, I'll show you around the place.
Naraku- *Perfect, this is the right time to make them go against each other, and the Shikon no Tama jewel will become even more tainted*
Madame Chaos- ...I'm sorry, but I'll have to take the jewel shards and confiscate them as a safety precaution. They will be returned to you at the end of the two months.
Naraku- *blast, my plans will have to wait*
Miroku- Naraku?
Naraku- Yes?
Miroku- Quit talking to yourself.
Madame Chaos- Now, here are your rooms. Breakfast is served at approximately at 6:30, so if you don't get up, you don't eat. Lights out at 9:30.
Kagome- 9:30? But I go to sleep at least 11.
Inuyasha- That's not fair! Um, now how did this time system go again?
Sesshomaru- You're hopeless. Its like the number system, 1 2 3 6 4 A. Elementary.
Miroku- one thing Sesshomaru
Sesshomaru- and whats that?
Miroku- A is a letter, not a number. Just to let you know.
Madame Chaos- *looks very pissed among the arguing people* SHUT UP!
*Everyone stares at Chaos*
Kouga- You PMS or what?
Madame Chaos- No Kouga, I'm not PMS, so get off my back!
Sango- How do you know our names anyways?
Madame Chaos- As your overseer, it is my priority to know everything about you and your life.
Naraku- Thats just plain creepy.
Sesshomaru- Speaking of creepy, wheres Shippo?
*Group looks over at Shippo who is pigging out on donuts and stuff*
Shippo- I'm hungry, is that a problem?
Inuyasha- Just leave some for us.
Madame Chaos- Alright, time for bed. I've shown your rooms, so hop to it!
Sango- No Miroku, you can't come in with me.
Miroku- But who will keep you warm during this cold night?
Kagome- Its summer.
Miroku- Shush! She doesn't need to know that! *Runs to Sango's room, but she shuts the door in his face.*
Kouga- Ooh, denied.
Miroku- Like you'll have any more luck with Kagome.
Kouga- Of course I will! Oh Kagome my love!
*Kagome's already in her room*
Madame Chaos- Good night, don't let the bedbugs bite.
Sesshomaru- Bugs? I hate bugs. *starts shivering in fear*
Naraku- Its an expression. Well, see you tomorrow, scumbag!
Sesshomaru- What'd he just call me?
Inuyasha- He just dissed you, now go to sleep.
6:30 am
Madame Chaos- GET UP! ITS TIME TO GET UP! HELLO? CAN ANYONE HEAR ME! IS THIS THING ON?!
Inuyasha- *looks very sleepy and annoyed* Yes we hear you perfectly, please turn the friggin speakerphone off.
Madame Chaos- Oh, sorry about that. Go brush your teeth, they look horrible.
Inuyasha- *Fumbles around in his bathroom looking for the toothbrush* What the hell's a toothbrush anyways. Found it! *Picks up hairbrush and sticks it in his mouth*
Kouga- *yawn* Morning already? And my dream about Kagome was getting to the best part...
Kagome- Pervert! *hits Kouga on the head with her fist*
Miroku- You know what they say, love hurts.
Sesshomaru- Hmph, bedbugs, there were no bedbugs.
Naraku- Once again, it was an expression. I often find myself questioning your intelligence.
Sango- Those beds really are the best. By the way, whats a toothbrush?
Inuyasha- Obviously its this *holds up hairbrush*
Madame Chaos- Please don't tell me you brushed your teeth with that.
Inuyasha- Yeah, is that a problem?
Madame Chaos- Oh dear God. Please lets go to eat breakfast.
Shippo- That really is a good idea!
well, what do you think? please review! Sesshomaru! I told you to stay under the bed!
Sesshomaru- You don't have a whip
me- note to self: buy a whip. Anyways, on with the show.
Naraku- can I watch TV?
me- *grumbles angrily to self and turns on the tube*
Madame Chaos- 3,2,3 wait, I mean 3,2,5 Damn! Why can't I get that right? *As she rants Inuyasha and the others appear out of thin air*
Inuyasha- Wha- what the HELL! But I was just about to slash Kouga to ribbons! *Starts weeping miserably*
Kouga- And I was just about to win Kagome over!
Miroku- And I was reaching for Sango's butt- I mean Sango's butter
*Sango takes boomerang and brings it down on Miroku's head.*
Kagome- You were trying to grope Sango while we were fighting? Unbelievable... And Kouga how could you win my heart while fighting Inuyasha?
Kouga- Thats a very good point. Amazing, you're gifted with beauty and and intelligence.
Sesshomaru- Don't you think we should be wondering how the hell we got here? But then again, no one listens to me...
Naraku- Now that we're here, I just wanted to say that Shippo killed Kohaku... for the second time! *Excellent, now they will kill the kitsune. MWAHAHAHA!*
Sango- What! You killed my brother for the second time! I thought I could trust you! *charges with a sword*
Shippo- Wait a minute! How could I kill Kohaku! He'd most likely kill me first.
Sango- I suppose you're right.
Madame Chaos- Ahem.
Inuyasha- Its a she demon! Lets get her!
Madame Chaos- Now, you wouldn't want to do that.
Sesshomaru- And why not?
Madame Chaos- Because I am your only way back home.
Miroku- May I ask what your name is, my lovely lady?
Madame Chaos- *sighs* My name is Madame Chaos, and whatever you are going to ask, the answer is no.
*miroku looks crestfallen*
Madame Chaos- Anyways, you are all probably wondering why you are here. You are in the scientific headquarters of NWR, New World Research. You have been chosen to be our test cases. Over the period of two months, I will be observing all of you, and testing some of NWR's products on you. *gets hit in the head with a paper airplane* I saw that Naraku.
Kagome- when did we agree to this?
Madame Chaos- *bursts into hysterical laughter* Oh, you're serious. This is not something you agree to.
Kouga- You mean we're stuck here? Together? Cool
Sesshomaru- There is no way I'm going to stay with these ingrates for two months!
Miroku- Sure, use big words to intimidate us.
Shippo- Do we get free food? *Madame Chaos nods* Then I'm fine with that.
Sango- How can you say that? We're being held captive-
Madame Chaos- You also get your own room
Sango- Oh, alright then.
Inuyasha- What kind of products do you intend to use on us?
Madame Chaos- I'm sorry, that is strictly classified and can only be discussed between NWR staff.
Shippo- Blah, blah, blah. When do we get the free food?
Madame Chaos- *sigh* Its in the lobby. Come, I'll show you around the place.
Naraku- *Perfect, this is the right time to make them go against each other, and the Shikon no Tama jewel will become even more tainted*
Madame Chaos- ...I'm sorry, but I'll have to take the jewel shards and confiscate them as a safety precaution. They will be returned to you at the end of the two months.
Naraku- *blast, my plans will have to wait*
Miroku- Naraku?
Naraku- Yes?
Miroku- Quit talking to yourself.
Madame Chaos- Now, here are your rooms. Breakfast is served at approximately at 6:30, so if you don't get up, you don't eat. Lights out at 9:30.
Kagome- 9:30? But I go to sleep at least 11.
Inuyasha- That's not fair! Um, now how did this time system go again?
Sesshomaru- You're hopeless. Its like the number system, 1 2 3 6 4 A. Elementary.
Miroku- one thing Sesshomaru
Sesshomaru- and whats that?
Miroku- A is a letter, not a number. Just to let you know.
Madame Chaos- *looks very pissed among the arguing people* SHUT UP!
*Everyone stares at Chaos*
Kouga- You PMS or what?
Madame Chaos- No Kouga, I'm not PMS, so get off my back!
Sango- How do you know our names anyways?
Madame Chaos- As your overseer, it is my priority to know everything about you and your life.
Naraku- Thats just plain creepy.
Sesshomaru- Speaking of creepy, wheres Shippo?
*Group looks over at Shippo who is pigging out on donuts and stuff*
Shippo- I'm hungry, is that a problem?
Inuyasha- Just leave some for us.
Madame Chaos- Alright, time for bed. I've shown your rooms, so hop to it!
Sango- No Miroku, you can't come in with me.
Miroku- But who will keep you warm during this cold night?
Kagome- Its summer.
Miroku- Shush! She doesn't need to know that! *Runs to Sango's room, but she shuts the door in his face.*
Kouga- Ooh, denied.
Miroku- Like you'll have any more luck with Kagome.
Kouga- Of course I will! Oh Kagome my love!
*Kagome's already in her room*
Madame Chaos- Good night, don't let the bedbugs bite.
Sesshomaru- Bugs? I hate bugs. *starts shivering in fear*
Naraku- Its an expression. Well, see you tomorrow, scumbag!
Sesshomaru- What'd he just call me?
Inuyasha- He just dissed you, now go to sleep.
6:30 am
Madame Chaos- GET UP! ITS TIME TO GET UP! HELLO? CAN ANYONE HEAR ME! IS THIS THING ON?!
Inuyasha- *looks very sleepy and annoyed* Yes we hear you perfectly, please turn the friggin speakerphone off.
Madame Chaos- Oh, sorry about that. Go brush your teeth, they look horrible.
Inuyasha- *Fumbles around in his bathroom looking for the toothbrush* What the hell's a toothbrush anyways. Found it! *Picks up hairbrush and sticks it in his mouth*
Kouga- *yawn* Morning already? And my dream about Kagome was getting to the best part...
Kagome- Pervert! *hits Kouga on the head with her fist*
Miroku- You know what they say, love hurts.
Sesshomaru- Hmph, bedbugs, there were no bedbugs.
Naraku- Once again, it was an expression. I often find myself questioning your intelligence.
Sango- Those beds really are the best. By the way, whats a toothbrush?
Inuyasha- Obviously its this *holds up hairbrush*
Madame Chaos- Please don't tell me you brushed your teeth with that.
Inuyasha- Yeah, is that a problem?
Madame Chaos- Oh dear God. Please lets go to eat breakfast.
Shippo- That really is a good idea!
well, what do you think? please review! Sesshomaru! I told you to stay under the bed!