High School Sucks
A quiet calm always seemed to come over the small town of South Park, Colorado when the sun arrived. It was either the fact that the 20,000 residents always were breathless when they saw its golden rays peek through the mountains to the east, or that they there asleep when it began its quest at four in the morning. In any event, as the peaceful orb began its steady ascent into the morning air, more people of the small town would wake up in hopes that they could have a day of peace and pleasure. For most high school students, however, the hopes were usually that they could simply make it through the day without passing out or being humiliated.
By eight o'clock most of the town was hustling and bustling, and one of the scariest places was surely the parking lot of the only high school in town, South Park High. Boasting a population of over just 800 students between the four classes, SP High had developed a reputation as a somewhat dominant force in the ways of sports, as well as a decent public school for those with exceptionally high intelligence. The small sizes of the classes also improved the school's standing to the rest of the district, as well as the state.
The first day of school was always a hectic one, with new freshmen scrambling around the campus to find where their first classes were, and the counselor's office overflowing with irate students and parents over class scheduling. Most students, however, chose to stay in the quad area before school began. The quad was a large square that had been placed in the middle of all the buildings, making it a courtyard of some sort. The lunch lines were open and students who had missed breakfast had a chance to salvage some of their meal. Large trees had been planted with cement lining to create seats for students to sit on and converse with friends.
One such student was seated under a particularly large, dead tree close to the mathematics building, thumbing through a small book hurriedly. He was a male student of average height, but more built muscularly than most his age. He had messy black hair that he had let hang over his forehead in bangs as his piercing sky-blue eyes glanced through page after page of the small book. He was wearing a dark brown jacket that he had buttoned over a Colorado Rockies T-shirt, and blue jeans, as well as black gloves and sneakers. Hearing footsteps behind him, he turned around.
"Hey, Stan." The calm voice came from a boy similar to Stan in build, with an average height and well-built body. He had somewhat frazzled short, brown hair and a long gash across his left cheek. Clad in a red overcoat over a light green football jersey and cargo pants, coupled with dark brown gloves and white tennis shoes, he walked up to Stan and sat down. Stan looked up and grinned.
"Hey, Clyde," he said. "Haven't talked you in a while. You ready for our last year in this craphole?"
Clyde nodded. "Yeah, just one more year, and then we're out of here."
"Guess that little scar of yours didn't get better over the summer, huh?" Stan asked,
"This?" Clyde laughed as he poked the deep slash on his cheek gingerly. "Hey, it comes with being a star football player. Plus, the girls are crazy about it."
Stan smirked, putting his book down. "Right. Do you have a game today?"
Clyde nodded, his smile disappearing. "Yeah, it sucks. I hate having a game on the first day of school."
"Is it here?"
"No, we have to go all the way to Denver. I'm going to be exhausted tonight, and it's only Tuesday!" Clyde stretched out, letting a yawn escape his mouth. He peered at the blue book Stan had set down.
"Great Expectations? You had to read that too?" He asked.
Stan nodded somewhat sheepishly. "Yeah, I just...kinda didn't."
"Cool. Who's your teacher?"
"Lemme check." Stan bent down and began rifling through his oversized green backpack. Finally he pulled a small paper out and glanced at it. "I have Mr. Kelly third period."
Clyde laughed. "Awesome, so do I." He pulled out a similar piece of paper from one of his pants pockets. "Do we have any others together?"
The two compared papers. "Hey, we both have Mrs. Cooper for Civics fifth period too." Stan remarked.
"Sweet." Clyde folded his paper back up and stood up. "Well, I guess I'd better get going. You seen Bebe around?"
Stan pointed towards the foreign language building. "I think she was over there with Connie and Stacy." He said, picking his copy of Great Expectations back up.
"Thanks. Later, dude." Clyde said, waving from behind as he headed in the direction had pointed at.
"Later." Stan opened up his book again and began flipping through pages again. "And now, I've got to get through this damn book as much as humanly possible." He talked to himself in a very slight tone, and before a minute of concentration, he was interrupted by another calling of "Hey, Stan."
Stan looked up to see a taller-than-average boy with a somewhat average build. Small strands of red hair poked through the green flapped hat that he had topped on his head, and a golden Star of David hung from his neck like a pendant. Clad in an green plaid shirt buttoned over a white T-shirt, and an orange pull-over jacket over that, he also wore a pair of khakis, green gloves and brown low-top boots. He sat down next to Stan.
"Hey, Kyle." Stan returned the favor. "What have you been up to lately?"
"Nothing much." Kyle said, pulling an apple from his brown backpack and munching on it. "Just getting pissed that we have another goddamn year of school."
Stan nodded. "I know, it sucks serious ass. So, how was France?"
"It was pretty cool. That foreign student travel thing was awesome. It gave me free food and everything while I was in Paris." Kyle said excitedly.
"Yeah, but you were gone the entire summer. It got kind of boring while you were gone." Stan said.
"I know. Still, we're going to have our trip when the next summer vacation rolls around, right?"
Stan laughed. "Hell yes! I wouldn't trade anything for our trip around the country. Except I hope I don't have to drive my crappy little Toyota. The Blazer your parents gave you would be perfect."
Kyle nodded eagerly. "Yeah. Who would you want to take? Butters and Kenny?"
Stan flinched slightly. "I don't know. Kenny's pretty good pals with the hardcore weed smokers now. It might not be such a good idea..."
"Oh, come on, Stan!" Kyle groaned. "We've both done weed before, too. It's no biggie if Kenny does it a little more than we do."
Stan shrugged. "I guess. And you know I think Butters would get too annoying for us to get out of Colorado with."
"Well, who then? Cartman?" Kyle let out an evil grin.
Stan laughed. "You know I hate that cocksucker as much as you do. Still, it'd definitely make the drive more interesting."
Kyle shook his head adamantly. "No chance in hell. I hate that football-playing asshole more than anyone else in the world."
"More than Tina Yothers?"
Kyle paused. "Well...Maybe not that much."
"Hey, guys!" The two turned around to see that the high-pitched voice belonged to a girl their age, who running towards them excitedly. She had long, black hair that flowed down the back of her neck, and a pink beret had been plopped onto her head. She was wearing a light purple jacket over a plain T-shirt and normal blue jeans, with a pair of fuzzy pink gloves on her hands and white sneakers on her feet.
"Hey, Wendy." The boys said simultaneously. Wendy sat down on the other side of Stan and batted her eyes.
"How was my love's summer vacation?" She cooed.
Stan moaned. "For the last time, Wendy, I am not your love yet. Don't you remember? That's why I said that we should take things easy this summer, so that things can slow down."
Wendy clasped onto Stan's right arm. "Oh, Stan, I know that that separation thing was just a test. And I also know now even more that we were meant for each other.
Stan rolled his eyes, making Kyle laugh as he tossed the apple core to the ground. "Sure thing, Wendy. Now, what's up? Did you come over here for a specific reason, or just to harass me?"
"To check our schedules, silly." Wendy grabbed Stan's schedule and glanced through it. She finally handed it back, a bit disappointed. We only have Civics together."
"Let me see." Kyle said, pulling his own schedule from his jacket as well. "Hey, kick ass! We all have Mrs. Cooper for Civics fifth period! So do Kenny and Tweek!"
Stan nodded. "So does Clyde. I just saw his schedule."
"Sweet! That class will rock." Kyle grinned.
Wendy had by now picked up Stan's book and began looking at it. "Stan, are you in advanced English this year?"
Stan turned to her. "No, why?"
"Oh, I was just wondering. We had to read this over the summer, too."
"Yeah, I hated it." Kyle said.
"Why? Because it was long and slow?" Wendy asked.
"No. The main character seemed too much like Pip. They even have the same name, dammit."
Stan thought for a moment. "Yeah, it really makes you wonder if they're connected somehow."
The three contemplated the thought for a second and shook it from their minds. "Well, Stan, I wish I was in your English class, but it looks like you'll have to go it alone."
Kyle said.
"Yeah, I bet advanced classes are totally cool, right?" Stan laughed sarcastically.
"God, Stan, I don't see why you didn't get into them. They really help you out." Kyle said quietly.
Stan rolled his eyes. "Whatever. I'm not some pathetic little shit-faced brainiac."
"Hey!" Kyle and Wendy shouted at the same moment. Stan, realizing what he had just said, turned red. "Sorry, guys." He said, grinning like an idiot.
"Well, that's okay." Wendy stood up. "In any event, I must consult my Physics teacher what kind of material we'll be covering. See you later, boys!"
"Bye, Wendy!" The two watched her walk away steadily. Kyle then turned to Stan. "So, what'd you end up doing during the break?"
Stan shrugged. "Usual stuff. Lit a bunch of fireworks with Cartman and Kenny, did some fishing with Uncle Jimbo, helped my dad get ready for the school year..."
Oh, yeah!" Kyle exclaimed. "Your dad is the geology teacher this year, right?"
"Yeah. I'm in his class second period. Guaranteed A." Stan grinned.
"Yo, boys!"
Stan and Kyle turned to see a short, wiry boy their age approaching them. He had long, dirty blond hair that he hadn't even bothered to comb, and patches of his peach skin had been stained with dirt. He was wearing a black T-shirt and a ragged orange parka with a hood, but his face was exposed as the hood was tucked on his back. He was also wearing orange sweat pants that matches his parka and dark brown gloves and sneakers. His eyes were bloodshot, and he stumbled for a bit before he sat down next to Kyle.
"How's it going, Kenny?" Stan asked.
"Eh...Been better...School sucks." Kenny groaned, struggling to concentrate.
"Dude, Kenny, are you high right now?" Kyle asked, a bit alarmed.
Kenny turned red with embarrassment. "Yeah, I got high a couple of hours ago. Why, is it that obvious?"
Stan and Kyle sighed. "Kenny, you've got to kick this weed thing if you want to go onto college." Stan said.
The blond boy laughed loudly. "Hey, I'm lucky I even managed to get a job. How do you think I managed to get my Honda?"
"That's true. You do have a pretty sweet job, Kenny, working at the library and all. It pays good, right?"
"Yup! And the best part is, I have tons of money to do whatever I want with. Ever since Kevin and I started living on our own, things have been really going good, you know?"
Kyle nodded. "So your brother and you are still doing alright without your parents?"
Kenny glared at him, his memories starting to loosen the marijuana's effects on him. "Come on, Kyle. It's been just the two of us ever since Kevin turned eighteen. Remember, my parents got in a fight and both hit him with bottles? Assault right there, and since I was hit too, it was child abuse. So now my folks are in jail until Kevin and I can get the money to get them out."
The other two boys nodded. "Don't worry, Kenny. Everything will be cool."
"Yeah, I know." Kenny grinned.
"So did you spend your entire vacation working? I hardly saw you over the summer, Kenny." Stan said.
Kenny thought for a moment, and nodded. "Yeah, for a few weeks I was working full 40-hour weeks. That got me a lot of dough."
"Sweet." The three all thought in unison. The group was quiet for a moment, but suddenly they heard another voice from behind them.
"Well, if it isn't my bestest friends in the world!" The heavy voice belonged to an incredibly obese boy their age who lumbered his way towards them slowly. He had short-cut brown hair and a wide grin was adorned on his face. His multiple chins dangled from the original, and his mountainous belly jiggled with the slightest movement he made. He was wearing a green-and-yellow Letterman jacket over a similarly colored football jersey that seemed tailored specifically for him. He also wore a pair of white jeans, a pair of brown gloves and knee-high dark brown boots.
Kyle buried his face in his hands. "Oh, god, not Cartman. He's just what I didn't need today."
Cartman wrapped his flabby arms around Kyle's neck. "Oh yes, Jew-boy."
Kyle leapt from his seat. "Hey! I can get you expelled for that, fatass!"
"Oh, please, why don't you go join a concentration camp so they can loosen you up?" Cartman asked, irritated.
Kyle prepared to leap onto Cartman, but Stan and Kenny managed to restrain him. "Cartman, what the hell do you want?" Stan asked angrily.
"Jesus Christ, you guys, I just wanted to know what classes you all have. I understand that most of us have Civics fifth with Mrs. Cooper?"
"Yeah." Stan, Kyle and Kenny all answered.
"Great! Then we'll all be one big, happy family." Cartman laughed.
"God, Cartman, you've become such a bastard since you started playing football." Kenny growled.
"Ay! I am the star lineman on this hya team, you poor-ass son of a bitch!"
"Hey! I make more money than you, fatass!" Kenny shouted.
"Too bad it has to go towards buying food." Cartman snarled.
Stan sighed. "Look, Cartman, we get the message. You're the star, and we're honored to be in one of the same classes you're in. Now go back to those other stupid football players and get away from us."
The football player inhaled deeply. "You guys are the biggest bastards I've ever seen hya. I don't even know what I ever did to you all."
"Plenty." Kyle fumed. "Does the fetus incident recall any memories?"
"Oh, please." Cartman groaned. "Do we have to go over that again?"
"And the NAMBLA club?"
"Well..."
"And Cartmanland?"
"Ay! All right! Jeez! I'll get the hell out of your important ways." Cartman shuffled his huge weight around and headed back to the gymnasium. Stan groaned.
"This is going to be one hell of a final year." He said quietly to himself.
RING!
A quiet calm always seemed to come over the small town of South Park, Colorado when the sun arrived. It was either the fact that the 20,000 residents always were breathless when they saw its golden rays peek through the mountains to the east, or that they there asleep when it began its quest at four in the morning. In any event, as the peaceful orb began its steady ascent into the morning air, more people of the small town would wake up in hopes that they could have a day of peace and pleasure. For most high school students, however, the hopes were usually that they could simply make it through the day without passing out or being humiliated.
By eight o'clock most of the town was hustling and bustling, and one of the scariest places was surely the parking lot of the only high school in town, South Park High. Boasting a population of over just 800 students between the four classes, SP High had developed a reputation as a somewhat dominant force in the ways of sports, as well as a decent public school for those with exceptionally high intelligence. The small sizes of the classes also improved the school's standing to the rest of the district, as well as the state.
The first day of school was always a hectic one, with new freshmen scrambling around the campus to find where their first classes were, and the counselor's office overflowing with irate students and parents over class scheduling. Most students, however, chose to stay in the quad area before school began. The quad was a large square that had been placed in the middle of all the buildings, making it a courtyard of some sort. The lunch lines were open and students who had missed breakfast had a chance to salvage some of their meal. Large trees had been planted with cement lining to create seats for students to sit on and converse with friends.
One such student was seated under a particularly large, dead tree close to the mathematics building, thumbing through a small book hurriedly. He was a male student of average height, but more built muscularly than most his age. He had messy black hair that he had let hang over his forehead in bangs as his piercing sky-blue eyes glanced through page after page of the small book. He was wearing a dark brown jacket that he had buttoned over a Colorado Rockies T-shirt, and blue jeans, as well as black gloves and sneakers. Hearing footsteps behind him, he turned around.
"Hey, Stan." The calm voice came from a boy similar to Stan in build, with an average height and well-built body. He had somewhat frazzled short, brown hair and a long gash across his left cheek. Clad in a red overcoat over a light green football jersey and cargo pants, coupled with dark brown gloves and white tennis shoes, he walked up to Stan and sat down. Stan looked up and grinned.
"Hey, Clyde," he said. "Haven't talked you in a while. You ready for our last year in this craphole?"
Clyde nodded. "Yeah, just one more year, and then we're out of here."
"Guess that little scar of yours didn't get better over the summer, huh?" Stan asked,
"This?" Clyde laughed as he poked the deep slash on his cheek gingerly. "Hey, it comes with being a star football player. Plus, the girls are crazy about it."
Stan smirked, putting his book down. "Right. Do you have a game today?"
Clyde nodded, his smile disappearing. "Yeah, it sucks. I hate having a game on the first day of school."
"Is it here?"
"No, we have to go all the way to Denver. I'm going to be exhausted tonight, and it's only Tuesday!" Clyde stretched out, letting a yawn escape his mouth. He peered at the blue book Stan had set down.
"Great Expectations? You had to read that too?" He asked.
Stan nodded somewhat sheepishly. "Yeah, I just...kinda didn't."
"Cool. Who's your teacher?"
"Lemme check." Stan bent down and began rifling through his oversized green backpack. Finally he pulled a small paper out and glanced at it. "I have Mr. Kelly third period."
Clyde laughed. "Awesome, so do I." He pulled out a similar piece of paper from one of his pants pockets. "Do we have any others together?"
The two compared papers. "Hey, we both have Mrs. Cooper for Civics fifth period too." Stan remarked.
"Sweet." Clyde folded his paper back up and stood up. "Well, I guess I'd better get going. You seen Bebe around?"
Stan pointed towards the foreign language building. "I think she was over there with Connie and Stacy." He said, picking his copy of Great Expectations back up.
"Thanks. Later, dude." Clyde said, waving from behind as he headed in the direction had pointed at.
"Later." Stan opened up his book again and began flipping through pages again. "And now, I've got to get through this damn book as much as humanly possible." He talked to himself in a very slight tone, and before a minute of concentration, he was interrupted by another calling of "Hey, Stan."
Stan looked up to see a taller-than-average boy with a somewhat average build. Small strands of red hair poked through the green flapped hat that he had topped on his head, and a golden Star of David hung from his neck like a pendant. Clad in an green plaid shirt buttoned over a white T-shirt, and an orange pull-over jacket over that, he also wore a pair of khakis, green gloves and brown low-top boots. He sat down next to Stan.
"Hey, Kyle." Stan returned the favor. "What have you been up to lately?"
"Nothing much." Kyle said, pulling an apple from his brown backpack and munching on it. "Just getting pissed that we have another goddamn year of school."
Stan nodded. "I know, it sucks serious ass. So, how was France?"
"It was pretty cool. That foreign student travel thing was awesome. It gave me free food and everything while I was in Paris." Kyle said excitedly.
"Yeah, but you were gone the entire summer. It got kind of boring while you were gone." Stan said.
"I know. Still, we're going to have our trip when the next summer vacation rolls around, right?"
Stan laughed. "Hell yes! I wouldn't trade anything for our trip around the country. Except I hope I don't have to drive my crappy little Toyota. The Blazer your parents gave you would be perfect."
Kyle nodded eagerly. "Yeah. Who would you want to take? Butters and Kenny?"
Stan flinched slightly. "I don't know. Kenny's pretty good pals with the hardcore weed smokers now. It might not be such a good idea..."
"Oh, come on, Stan!" Kyle groaned. "We've both done weed before, too. It's no biggie if Kenny does it a little more than we do."
Stan shrugged. "I guess. And you know I think Butters would get too annoying for us to get out of Colorado with."
"Well, who then? Cartman?" Kyle let out an evil grin.
Stan laughed. "You know I hate that cocksucker as much as you do. Still, it'd definitely make the drive more interesting."
Kyle shook his head adamantly. "No chance in hell. I hate that football-playing asshole more than anyone else in the world."
"More than Tina Yothers?"
Kyle paused. "Well...Maybe not that much."
"Hey, guys!" The two turned around to see that the high-pitched voice belonged to a girl their age, who running towards them excitedly. She had long, black hair that flowed down the back of her neck, and a pink beret had been plopped onto her head. She was wearing a light purple jacket over a plain T-shirt and normal blue jeans, with a pair of fuzzy pink gloves on her hands and white sneakers on her feet.
"Hey, Wendy." The boys said simultaneously. Wendy sat down on the other side of Stan and batted her eyes.
"How was my love's summer vacation?" She cooed.
Stan moaned. "For the last time, Wendy, I am not your love yet. Don't you remember? That's why I said that we should take things easy this summer, so that things can slow down."
Wendy clasped onto Stan's right arm. "Oh, Stan, I know that that separation thing was just a test. And I also know now even more that we were meant for each other.
Stan rolled his eyes, making Kyle laugh as he tossed the apple core to the ground. "Sure thing, Wendy. Now, what's up? Did you come over here for a specific reason, or just to harass me?"
"To check our schedules, silly." Wendy grabbed Stan's schedule and glanced through it. She finally handed it back, a bit disappointed. We only have Civics together."
"Let me see." Kyle said, pulling his own schedule from his jacket as well. "Hey, kick ass! We all have Mrs. Cooper for Civics fifth period! So do Kenny and Tweek!"
Stan nodded. "So does Clyde. I just saw his schedule."
"Sweet! That class will rock." Kyle grinned.
Wendy had by now picked up Stan's book and began looking at it. "Stan, are you in advanced English this year?"
Stan turned to her. "No, why?"
"Oh, I was just wondering. We had to read this over the summer, too."
"Yeah, I hated it." Kyle said.
"Why? Because it was long and slow?" Wendy asked.
"No. The main character seemed too much like Pip. They even have the same name, dammit."
Stan thought for a moment. "Yeah, it really makes you wonder if they're connected somehow."
The three contemplated the thought for a second and shook it from their minds. "Well, Stan, I wish I was in your English class, but it looks like you'll have to go it alone."
Kyle said.
"Yeah, I bet advanced classes are totally cool, right?" Stan laughed sarcastically.
"God, Stan, I don't see why you didn't get into them. They really help you out." Kyle said quietly.
Stan rolled his eyes. "Whatever. I'm not some pathetic little shit-faced brainiac."
"Hey!" Kyle and Wendy shouted at the same moment. Stan, realizing what he had just said, turned red. "Sorry, guys." He said, grinning like an idiot.
"Well, that's okay." Wendy stood up. "In any event, I must consult my Physics teacher what kind of material we'll be covering. See you later, boys!"
"Bye, Wendy!" The two watched her walk away steadily. Kyle then turned to Stan. "So, what'd you end up doing during the break?"
Stan shrugged. "Usual stuff. Lit a bunch of fireworks with Cartman and Kenny, did some fishing with Uncle Jimbo, helped my dad get ready for the school year..."
Oh, yeah!" Kyle exclaimed. "Your dad is the geology teacher this year, right?"
"Yeah. I'm in his class second period. Guaranteed A." Stan grinned.
"Yo, boys!"
Stan and Kyle turned to see a short, wiry boy their age approaching them. He had long, dirty blond hair that he hadn't even bothered to comb, and patches of his peach skin had been stained with dirt. He was wearing a black T-shirt and a ragged orange parka with a hood, but his face was exposed as the hood was tucked on his back. He was also wearing orange sweat pants that matches his parka and dark brown gloves and sneakers. His eyes were bloodshot, and he stumbled for a bit before he sat down next to Kyle.
"How's it going, Kenny?" Stan asked.
"Eh...Been better...School sucks." Kenny groaned, struggling to concentrate.
"Dude, Kenny, are you high right now?" Kyle asked, a bit alarmed.
Kenny turned red with embarrassment. "Yeah, I got high a couple of hours ago. Why, is it that obvious?"
Stan and Kyle sighed. "Kenny, you've got to kick this weed thing if you want to go onto college." Stan said.
The blond boy laughed loudly. "Hey, I'm lucky I even managed to get a job. How do you think I managed to get my Honda?"
"That's true. You do have a pretty sweet job, Kenny, working at the library and all. It pays good, right?"
"Yup! And the best part is, I have tons of money to do whatever I want with. Ever since Kevin and I started living on our own, things have been really going good, you know?"
Kyle nodded. "So your brother and you are still doing alright without your parents?"
Kenny glared at him, his memories starting to loosen the marijuana's effects on him. "Come on, Kyle. It's been just the two of us ever since Kevin turned eighteen. Remember, my parents got in a fight and both hit him with bottles? Assault right there, and since I was hit too, it was child abuse. So now my folks are in jail until Kevin and I can get the money to get them out."
The other two boys nodded. "Don't worry, Kenny. Everything will be cool."
"Yeah, I know." Kenny grinned.
"So did you spend your entire vacation working? I hardly saw you over the summer, Kenny." Stan said.
Kenny thought for a moment, and nodded. "Yeah, for a few weeks I was working full 40-hour weeks. That got me a lot of dough."
"Sweet." The three all thought in unison. The group was quiet for a moment, but suddenly they heard another voice from behind them.
"Well, if it isn't my bestest friends in the world!" The heavy voice belonged to an incredibly obese boy their age who lumbered his way towards them slowly. He had short-cut brown hair and a wide grin was adorned on his face. His multiple chins dangled from the original, and his mountainous belly jiggled with the slightest movement he made. He was wearing a green-and-yellow Letterman jacket over a similarly colored football jersey that seemed tailored specifically for him. He also wore a pair of white jeans, a pair of brown gloves and knee-high dark brown boots.
Kyle buried his face in his hands. "Oh, god, not Cartman. He's just what I didn't need today."
Cartman wrapped his flabby arms around Kyle's neck. "Oh yes, Jew-boy."
Kyle leapt from his seat. "Hey! I can get you expelled for that, fatass!"
"Oh, please, why don't you go join a concentration camp so they can loosen you up?" Cartman asked, irritated.
Kyle prepared to leap onto Cartman, but Stan and Kenny managed to restrain him. "Cartman, what the hell do you want?" Stan asked angrily.
"Jesus Christ, you guys, I just wanted to know what classes you all have. I understand that most of us have Civics fifth with Mrs. Cooper?"
"Yeah." Stan, Kyle and Kenny all answered.
"Great! Then we'll all be one big, happy family." Cartman laughed.
"God, Cartman, you've become such a bastard since you started playing football." Kenny growled.
"Ay! I am the star lineman on this hya team, you poor-ass son of a bitch!"
"Hey! I make more money than you, fatass!" Kenny shouted.
"Too bad it has to go towards buying food." Cartman snarled.
Stan sighed. "Look, Cartman, we get the message. You're the star, and we're honored to be in one of the same classes you're in. Now go back to those other stupid football players and get away from us."
The football player inhaled deeply. "You guys are the biggest bastards I've ever seen hya. I don't even know what I ever did to you all."
"Plenty." Kyle fumed. "Does the fetus incident recall any memories?"
"Oh, please." Cartman groaned. "Do we have to go over that again?"
"And the NAMBLA club?"
"Well..."
"And Cartmanland?"
"Ay! All right! Jeez! I'll get the hell out of your important ways." Cartman shuffled his huge weight around and headed back to the gymnasium. Stan groaned.
"This is going to be one hell of a final year." He said quietly to himself.
RING!