He didn't realize that my whole life had been devoted to him. He didn't understand how much he meant to me. He didn't even know how much I loved him. But, I can't tell him.
Not now. He's with her, my replacement.
And I can't hate him. I just love him so fucking much!
It hurts me, not to tell him. I feel it aching, my heart. And I can't stand it. It's an unreal how much it hurts. Like some ones plunging volcanic hot branding irons in my chest, every second of the day.
But I think she enjoys it. Because she flaunts him, hugs him, touches him. Kisses him.
All I can see, when I close my eyes is him, and I don't think I can ever change that, because you can't just stop loving some-one. It just doesn't go like that.
But I do know something, when she leaves him, like she does every other boy. I'll be there, to hold him while he cries-not that he would admit that- and maybe even tell him my secrets when he's sleeping, hoping-hoping that he can hear. But then fearing that he won't love me back, that maybe he won't accept who I am.
But you never know right?
Ha.
Because I'm just the best friend. And we cannot do that. Never.