After Mission Plans (memories & pain)
After Mission Plans
(memories & pain)
* note : The point of view shifts from
one character to the other. Gomen, but this IS my first fic and
I'm not really good at writing fanfics. I hope you'll like it!
Standard disclaimers apply! ^.^
* a fic by Luna. (started 9.22.99
finished 1.2.00). Comments wanted!
~*~*~
I wonder how many minutes more
till my official 'wake-up' time...
RRRRRRIIIIINNGG!!!
I reached out to stop the
ringing. Damn! Its acting up again! Suffocating me and
threatening to burst out of me through tears. I struggle to keep
it at bay. Not now...
Someone knocks on my door.
"Duo-kun, Heero-kun's got the main
info on our next mission. He's trying to get into the OZ's main
data banks now. And he's asked all of us to get down there for
the briefing."
Ah, Quatre. He is as old as I but his
ways are that of a child. He doesn't mind going through the
trouble of reminding me my duties every time.
I tell him I'll be right there in a
couple of minutes and he leaves.
So, Heero has got everything under
control, as usual. Hell, he is supposed to be
the smartest and the 'toughest'... Yeah, he is the toughest, even
his heart is tough!... How many times have I tried to
make him smile? To discover his 'soft spot'?... I smile sadly,
remembering all the times I've been with him and the millions of
times I've tried to get a any kind of response from him...
Hn! K'so! The pain suddenly jolts
upwards. I force it back into the deepest corners of my being. I
know I can handle this pain, but not now. I just can't afford to
fuss myself with it now. Not while I have a mission to attend
to... Not when I have to face Heero...
Duo Maxwell, the ever-cheerful Gundam
pilot, ironically the 'God of Death'. That is how they know me
and that is how it should be.
I get out of bed and take a deep breath.
Strangely, I find myself grinning.
"It's gonna be a tough day
today..."
* * *
Even on a mission he still gets up late.
Then again, I can't really blame him. He was up late last night
fixing the hyper jammer... But no one could really mistake him
for Shinigami's pilot. He acts more like a normal person than a
bringer of death... Trowa-kun would be more fitting to the
silence 'Death' brings... Strange that he works as a circus clown
with that kind of attitude... But then, sometimes it seems as
though those darkgreen pools of his soften... Then perhaps he
does care...
I find myself smiling at the direction
my thoughts were taking. Smiling at the irony of it all. Cheerful
'Death' and the perfect candidate playing the clown. But the
'clown' had a very interesting effect on me...
My train of thought is abruptly cut when
a certain deep voice calls my name. Quickly, I turn to face the
owner of the voice and come face to face with one darkgreen orb,
the other hidden under long brown bangs. I almost jump at the
sight of him, suddenly there without warning. He looks at me
quizzically. Did I actually say those things about him aloud?
"T-Trowa-kun! O-ohayo! How long
have you been there?" I chewed the last words out very
slowly.
"Just now."
Aa, always the staight-to-the-point
reply ne, Trowa-kun? But the unspoken question in his eyes is
still there. 'Why were you startled?'
"Ano...um... have you read the
latest report on the target?" Nice work Quatre! and I start
congratulating myself. Quite lame though, but still nice shift!
"Aa. Hai. The reports came in just
this morning."
"The base is heavily guarded but if
Heero-kun can break into the main data banks, the information he
would get would be a great help to us." This time I spoke
seriously and the question of my being surprised was quickly
forgotten. Whew! That was close! Even though I would really
like him to know how I feel... ie. Maybe not now. I'm not even
sure if he'd be willing to return the feeling! Trowa... if
only... I shake off the idea. It's not the time for these
kinds of thoughts.
I try to concentrate at the mission at
hand. I was usually the one who'd plan our operation procedures,
so I had to think of a bullet-proof, back-up ready plan that
could get us within the OZ territory without being found out.
Both of us were silent as we walked towards the computer room of
my sister's house.
* * *
Hmm... His concentration is entirely
focused on the mission. Perhaps that was the reason why he got
startled...
Quatre, why do you always worry about
all of us? Taking upon yourself the hardest part of the mission -
seeking the best out of every situation and straightening out the
worst. Funny, how you don't even seem to mind all the hardships
and pain. It's a wonder you don't loose yourself, your heart. You
smile for us, encourage us in uncertain times. And that's what
makes the misson worthwhile, at least for me... I'll make sure
you don't loose that smile... no matter what happens...
I actually smile at the thought. When
have I changed my view of him? Since you met him! Yes.
That I cannot deny. I was the pilot of a mobile suit like his own
and we fought. But he was kind enough to invite me to his house
and fix my Gundam with nothing treacherous in mind... But what is
with him anyway, that I find him so facinating... so special?... His
expressive eyes, the smile he gives so freely, the way he talks
to you... But that is how he talks to everyone... Don't
fool yourself! You notice how he looks at you! And how his voice
is much softer, more emotional when he speaks to you! But...
He LIKES you baka!
Even with myself I loose the battle. Yes
I've noticed how he looks at me. How those aquamarine eyes of his
reflect his heart's deepest feelings... Ie! I must be dreaming.
How can someone like him have feelings for me? But I want
to believe! I just want to believe that he'd return the feelings
I have for him. But he won't know how you feel if you don't
tell him. Hai. I know. But I can't tell him now. I'd just be
bothering him. After the mission then? Perhaps...
* * *
Ninmu ryoukai.
I start to erase all connections to the
OZ data banks. The last bits of information were just what we
needed - blue prints of the entire base, main computer rooms,
even the schedule of shifting of guards. All I have to do now is
wait untill the others come in and we can proceed with the
planning.
I wonder what's taking them so long...
It's been at least 20 minutes since I asked Quatre to get
everyone here. Hn. maybe he's having a hard time getting Duo
here. For a pilot, he doesn't have a sense of punctuality. I
don't even think he knows what the word means! Duo... that baka!
Why doesn't he even think that his tarrying will affect the
mission? Why are you so concerned anyway? What?! You
heard me. He's a part of the team. Without him, we would
have a hard time accomplishing the mission... Technically.
What do you mean 'technically'?! I mean that's only one of
the reasons. What 'reasons'? Oh, stop the lame acting
already! You know why you're so concerned about him! He's not
just a teammate to you, he's someone you lo- Shut up!!!
I hate it when I'm right. Duo does
mean more to me than just a teammate, more than just a friend. But
does he know? Of course not! So why not tell him?
What am I, crazy?! Well aren't you already? The voice
teases me again. Strangely, that 'voice' sounds like Duo... Yeah,
maybe I am. But not enough to tell him about that. Heero 'The
Perfect Soldier' Yuy having emotional problems... Funny, really.
How he changed me. How his cheerfulness and smiles could get to
me. I was supposed to be the 'Perfect' killing machine, -
merciless, unforgiving, ruthless, - and it took just one
cheerful, grinning, idiot like HIM to make me forget my training,
my purpose...
"Hey! Yuy! Where are the
plans?" A certain Chinese boy asked.
"Ano... On the table." He
looks at me questioningly but proceeds to the table nontheless.
"Hmm... Tough target. So, how're we
going to get in?"
"They'll be recruiting tomorrow. At
least two can get in unnoticed. But we'd better wait for the
others."
"Aa." Was the only reply I
got. Wufei continued to read the reports. Honestly, I think he's
the lukyiest among us. His feelings are only for his Nataku. His
'obsession' with his Gundam is quite strange. It is as though he
treats his Gundam like a live person. Sometimes I fancy Nataku is
a real person. Perhaps from his past? But like the rest of us, he
doesn't talk much about his past...
* * *
This is going to be one hard mission.
Guards on all entrances, special I.D.'s, Lots of hidden
cameras... Even Heero had a hard time cracking the codes! I
wonder what got into that scientist's - whatshisname - brain to
think of an impossible mission. Then again, this is what we were
trained for. It would shock anyone who'd find out what we do for
a living - ie, to live.
Live... ah, the only thing I'd wish for
if I had the chance. A life not for me, but for her. I
am here now because of her. But I don't regret it, since I am
doing this for her... Nataku... She was the most courageous
person I've ever known. Hardheaded at times, but still, she was
brave. She would choose death - no, she chose death just
to prove her point, to uphold the justice she believed in.
Justice... this is the same reason I use when I fight. But my
justice isn't only for the people in the Colonies nor the people
on Earth. My justice is also for her. Somehow, I feel unworthy
of her. She had no fear, she wouldn't even think twice even if
given the chance to. She wouldn't run, not from anything... Me? I
falter at the slightest memory of the past. I fear the pain that
comes with those memories. All those I love died before my very
eyes and all I could do was watch! It wasn't your fault,
Wufei. You did your best to save them. It wasn't your fault! A
picture of her face flashes before me. Ie! That was the second
time it happened! First you then the Colony!... You?... Nani?!...
Nataku?... That was... that was her... her voice...
"Oi! Wu man! Hellooo~ Earth to
Wufei? You hear me man?!" A peculiar braid-end is waved
before my eyes. And I snap back to reality.
"Na-nani?" Was all I could
say. Everyone was looking at me as if I did something suspicious.
"Geez! I thought you were in some
kinda trance! Hey, did your Gundam Nataku just tell you
something? Ya know, like telepathy?" The owner of the braid
was grinning like mad and elbowing me in the ribs.
"What the hell are you talking
about, Maxwell?! I was thinking about the target that's
all!" And I promptly bonk him on the head.
"OW! Hey that hurt! I was just
kidding." And he continued to rub the back of his head.
"Okay! So here's what I've managed
to think up." Quatre started. "According to the
information Heero-kun has gathered..."
And as the young blonde continued his
explanation of their mission's s.o.p., each one of them had half
of his attention somewhere else...
Maxwell, I don't know where you
got a crazy idea like that, but you were right. It was Nataku.
For some reason I really want to believe it was her... At least I
can believe she doesn't blame me nor hate me for my short
commings... maybe until then, Nataku, until then...
Yes, perhaps after this mission, I'll
have the courage to tell you everything... Quatre...
"Okay. That's the final plan.
Trowa, Wufei, Quatre, the three of you make sure all relays will
be clear. Schedule will be strictly followed." All three nod
and Quatre took an extra copy of the base's blue prints. Then
Heero turned to the braied pilot at his side, "Duo, you come
with me. We'll be working from inside." He tossed him the
recruitment papers and began walking towards the door.
Perhaps this mission won't be too tough
after all... Perhaps I can even make him smile this time... Ninmu
ryoukai! That's what I'll do. With that firmly in mind, Duo
grinned. "Time to kick some OZ butt!!!"
Heero promptly followed Wufei's example,
and bonked his partner.
"OW! What the hell did I do to
you!"
"Can't you even take this mission
seriously?!"
A grin was the only reply he got. Heero
just smirked and turned away. This is going to be worse than
I thought...
~~~ owari ~~~
Luna-chan : Gomen nasai! I know the
ending is a little lame, but....
Duo : Whay the HELL did you let that
Justice freak hit me!
Wufei : I am NOT a freak! And it wasn't
my fault anyway!
Luna-chan : Yeah, he is not a freak.
Just loyal!
Wufei : (Wufei pats chibi Luna-chan on
the head. Chibi Luna-chan purrs encourigingly.)
Duo : Well, I still got bonked! Twice!
chibi Luna-chan : (covering head with
hands) Waaaaaaaaah! I told you I wasn't good at this! I promise
I'll do better next time!
Duo : (Grinning like mad and making his
knuckles crack.) If there is a next time.
chibi Luna-chan : (runs to Heero and
hides behind him.)
Duo : Oi! No fair! You come out from
behind my koibito!
Heero : (bonks Duo again) Don't call me
'koibito'.
Duo : OW! Hey!
chibi Luna-chan : beeeeda!
Duo : Grrr. Come back here you little-
Come back here!
chibi Luna-chan : 'Till then! Ja!
