Lady
In the year and a half since Andy Sachs had turned her back on the 'job a million girls would kill for' and the boss that job tied her to, things had been moving along smoothly. The surprise recommendation from said boss at her interview for the New York Mirror solidified not only her future as a journalist but also the knowledge that what she had always truly believed deep in her heart was indeed fact; Miranda Priestly was not all bad. She, in her own way, was telling Andy she respected her choice. Wasn't that what she had told her in the car, what made them alike, the fact that she could see what was needed and wanted and choose for herself? And choose she did. Maybe not in the most mature way, but apparently that too was forgiven.
Now as a staff writer for the paper and a freelancer with a growing reputation her professional life was indeed headed in the direction she had always dreamed of. Her personal life, well, that was another story all together. She mourned the loss of her friendship with Lily and Nate but was grateful for the strength that she and Doug had discovered in theirs. She had a few associates from work that she met for drinks occasionally and kept in touch with Nigel by email. Theirs was a 'don't ask me about Runway and I won't mention her' unspoken agreement. Which was actually a double edge sword because after only about four months away from Runway and Miranda, Andy realized what she mourned most was the loss of the woman's presence in her life.
That realization spurred her into immersing herself in her writing. It shouldn't have surprised her that a wounded heart could drive ones mind to continually search out avenues to keep the thoughts of pain at bay. Only after minutes into hours into days of exhausting mind numbing mental activity could she find repose in a restful dreamless sleep. The resulting benefit of such a plan was a successful career. Lonely, but successful. Andy Sachs had accepted that she had given up that which she never knew she would always need for that which she had always known she wanted. Sometimes, though, when she wasn't paying close enough attention, a memory of a word or an action would give her just the push she needed to do better. Those times would remind her painfully why her 'plan' was of the utmost importance to her survival. It was too hard to live with the one you wanted most being there when you needed them and not really being there at all.
So, life for Andy went on day after day, week after week, month after month with a growing career and acceptably bland social life. That was until she received a phone call from a friend from college that she and Doug had run into several weeks before at a local bar.
She and LeAnna had met one night at a campus social and bonded while witnessing fellow schoolmates, drunkenly unaware of their actions, desperately fail at numerous attempts to conquer the machine on the small stage at the front of the room. It was a night of very, very bad karaoke.
Only after Andy's own slightly over the needed amount of tequila did she agree to join LeAnna on stage for a duet. Their rendition of Reba and Linda Davis's version of "Does He Love You" brought the house down. Gratified and giggly, the two women made their way off stage and back to Andy's room. The next morning found the two hung over and naked in Andy's bed with limbs and bodies intertwined. After awkwardly untangling themselves and a pot of much needed coffee, the two decided not to take what had happened too seriously, especially since neither could remember specific details of their sexual tryst. They would just chalk it up to 'one of those things that you did in college'. However, what they did agree to take seriously was their obvious love of singing and drunk or not, how well they did it together. LeAnna was a music major and singing would be her life's career, she was just uncertain as to how to direct her career at that point in time. She acknowledged that Andy's passion was the written word but couldn't help being secretly jealous of the woman's undeniable ability. Andy had the voice of an angel.
Before graduating two years later and going their separate ways, the two women would become the most sought after singing duo on campus and in the surrounding town. They were asked to perform for weddings, birthdays, bah mitzvahs, holidays, dances, school celebrations, just about any event that would showcase their talent. LeAnna was usually able to gather musicians easily and the talent they held allowed most every type of music to be available.
When Andy and Doug ran into LeAnna weeks prior she informed Andy that she had formed a band and was now an extremely accomplished and happily successful wedding singer. Her clientele included the crème da la crème of New York society. She admitted shyly that she had needed to hire a manager the previous year to help her navigate the onslaught of jobs.
Andy congratulated her genuinely and willingly traded phone numbers so they could get together. LeAnna too gave Andy her sincere congratulations for hanging on to her dream of becoming a writer and accomplishing everything she had thus far. Both knew the others' current career situations might be beneficial. Therefore when the call came Andy wasn't terribly surprised to hear from her friend so soon. What did surprise her was the request LeAnna posed during the conversation.
It had been a year and a half since that fateful Paris Fashion week that changed so many things in Miranda's life. Both her professional and personal lives were irrevocably altered. The unexpected end of her marriage to her second husband had been cowardly announced over the phone from half a world away, again placing her darling daughters in a situation she never wished to subject them to, she had willingly sacrificed her most trusted employee and long time friend to usurp her plotting boss's plans to replace her and most disconcerting, she had driven away the one person who made sense in her life. The one person who respected what she had accomplished and had no designs to take anything more than what she was willing to give or that was honestly earned. She had pushed too far, assumed too much and given in return nothing but meanness, out of fear, instead of gratitude.
Now Stephen was gone. Her daughters had adjusted. Her job was again safe. And Andrea had a new life, a life that no longer included her in any way. Not that she had ever been involved in the younger woman's life other than to run her ragged and expect the impossible. That was it wasn't it, the crux of the situation. She had always blindly anticipated Andrea achieving the impossible and then, when given an impossible choice the girl rose to the challenge. Her choice was to leave. Give up that which she had no true desire to have, therefore negating the need to again take action that Miranda mirthfully pointed out as strength in her character but what she felt to be a weakening flaw.
When it came down to it there was no choice for her to make other than give Andrea the recommendation she had earned and rightly deserved. Miranda knew had it not been for her own shortsighted need to be right at all costs Andrea would have stayed by her side. She found some joy in knowing she had a small hand in the growing success of Andrea's career. She was a wonderful writer. Her style was her own and words flowed like music on the page for the reader. Andrea's intelligence was obvious, and her writing spoke with a voice of empathy for her subjects combined with an objectivity woefully lacking from most current writers. The woman was born to write.
Miranda willingly admitted that to herself about six months after their separation. She was reading an article Andrea had written about the lack of funding for a homeless shelter that helped displaced single parents who had lost their homes to foreclosure. Miranda's immense wealth and status in society kept her from ever fearing that reality for her and her children. It was something that just never crossed her mind. Andrea's article, however, gave her pause; it put her in those unknown single parents place. A shiver ran down her spine as she thought honestly, 'There but for the grace of God…'
What gave her a greater chill though was the fact that Andrea's words had made her think about something in a way she hadn't done since she had left her employ. The young woman was always able to present a topic to her that made Miranda question it from new angles, look at it in a way she might not have originally thought. The chill ran through her body as she realized she missed the younger woman, not a competent assistant, she missed Andrea. She sighed.
After her secret epiphany Miranda began to diligently look at every aspect of her life with the same attitude as if Andrea was still by her side. Maybe not as surprising as it should have been, her life, both at work and home began to run smoother and with much less disappointment. Except of course for the sadness that she kept in the recesses of her heart for that which she never knew she needed and now wanted desperately, but unfortunately could never have. That disappointment would always remain.
Something she would admit was an unexpected result of her new outlook was the positive turn in her relationship with her estranged boss. She and Irv had come to an unspoken agreement to work together in a more cohesive manner. Because of the change the magazine reached new heights even Miranda could not deny. They would never be friends, but they found a respect for each other that they had never allowed before.
That respect demanded that when the invitation to his daughter's wedding arrived, at her home, not the office, that she personally RSVP and attend willingly.
"Please Andy," LeAnna begged, "I know I'm asking a lot, but I am really stuck between a rock and a hard place."
"LeAnna, I…" Andy breathed.
"Please. I swear I'll find a way to make it up to you, and the pay is nothing to sneeze at." LeAnna's voice still sounded desperate.
"I don't know. Do you have any idea how long it's been since…"
"That won't matter. I know you. I know how good you are. Please if I don't get this covered it could ruin our reputation."
"Yeah, how is it that you booked two gigs on the same day? Isn't that what your manager is suppose to prevent?"
"Yes. It is. Which is why we are now looking for new representation. These are possibly two of the biggest weddings of the year. Please Andy. Please say you'll do it."
Andy sighed. The last thing she ever imagined doing in New York was performing as a singer. Logic, however, was her own worst enemy because she knew if what they used to make was only a fraction of the fee for this gig it would go a long way to help with getting the new apartment she had her eye on.
"Fine." She said adding the sound of exasperation to the word, then pulled the phone away from her ear quickly as LeAnna began squealing thank you.
"Don't thank me yet. I haven't performed since our last show in college. How long do I have to prepare for this event anyway?"
Calmer now, LeAnna responded more professionally. "Plenty of time. The wedding is two weeks away."
"Two weeks!" This time it was LeAnna pulling her phone from her ear.
"Andy, come on. That's more than enough time for you. I've already got a band together for your back up and you can schedule rehearsals anytime you want, as much as you want."
"LeAnna, perhaps you weren't listening. I have not preformed in almost three years."
"Oh please," the comfortable interaction they always had was returning like they had never been apart. "Andy you could sing circles around me any day of the week with out so much as singing scales to warm up." More relaxed now that Andy had agreed, LeAnna plopped down on her bed. "So, how's life been treating you?"
Andy couldn't help but laugh out loud. She had forgotten how laid back her friend had always been. Not much rattled her, except, obviously, double bookings for the New York elite.
Andy and the band had practiced to near exhaustion for the two weeks before the wedding. Luckily, the wedding planner had supplied a list of required and requested songs, so it was easy to plan a set list for the gig. They also ran though the most common songs requested at weddings, not surprising all wedding guests seemed to have universal request no matter who was in attendance.
Andy had taken four days of vacation for the event, clearing her work schedule from Thursday night until Tuesday morning when she would have to return to the office. Her boss, Greg, took great joy in ribbing her about her choice of moonlighting jobs.
Saturday morning she reached deep into the back of her closet to drag out a dress bag that had sealed away her last tie to her Runway days. Inside was the dress Nigel had gifted her with after she wore it to the Gala she attended on Nate's birthday so long ago. It was simple, elegant, classic black with shoes to match. She may no longer live in that world but it didn't mean she had forgotten what she had learned. There was also the fact that wearing the dress made her feel invincible to failure, kinda like a designer totem. She had rescued Miranda, sort of, wearing it so it held nothing but luck and wonderful memories. Both would help give her courage to face the evening.
When Andy arrived at the reception she was met by her band already set up and tuning their instruments. The hall was large with fantastic acoustics. She smiled a little to herself knowing it would make her voice sound that much better. Greetings were exchanged and the group quickly got to work doing sound checks. A little over an hour later people began drifting into the room. Dinner had been served in another part of the building and the hall they were in would be used for music, dancing and the cutting of the cake that sat statuesquely in the opposite corner from the stage.
Andy sat on a stool next to the drummer waiting patiently as the band played softly while the guests arrived. She wouldn't be needed until they were notified the bride and groom were making their way into the room. They had chosen a lovely love song for their entrance, one she enjoyed singing very much. She was lost in her thoughts of the song she was preparing to sing when her attention was drawn to the emcee when he began announcing the arrival of the couples' parents. Her heart stopped beating when her ears were met with the name of Irving and Elizabeth Ravits, parents of the bride. She watched dumbfound as the man who almost destroyed the woman she cared so much for, dressed in a black tux, walked proudly with his wife on his arm to the head table.
Andy began to shake uncontrollably at the thought of Miranda's possible attendance. In a dazed state she watched as the groom's parents entered and made their way to sit at the opposite end of the head table. A sudden calm settled over her as she realized exactly who was sitting at the table and the fact that her previous boss held little to no esteem for the man seated there. Andy took a deep breath and released it. Miranda showing up for Irv's daughter's wedding was as likely as Andy performing at Carnegie Hall.
Now more relaxed Andy gracefully made her way to the microphone when the emcee nodded to her he was about to announce the newlyweds entrance. The band began to softly play the music of the chosen song and before Andy began to sing she heard him speak; "Introducing for the first time in public, Mr. and Mrs. Theodore ". Andy's beginning vocals were drowned out by cheers and applause. As the couple moved to the center of the dance floor, her voice soared above the noise, lulling the crowd to a hushed state as they watched the newlyweds float across the floor together.
After an hour of performing, all thoughts of Miranda showing up had left Andy's mind. The band was taking a fifteen minute break between sets when an unanticipated change in the room's atmosphere sent a familiar but long missed thrill down her spine. She didn't need to turn around to know Miranda had entered the room. She had allowed her belief that Irv and Miranda held no respect for each other to give her a false confidence about Miranda's lack of attendance to the event. Oh, how time away had dulled her perceptions. The one constant about the formidable woman was that she was always unpredictable and always did the unexpected.
Well, wasn't she about to get an unexpected surprise herself. No one from Runway knew of her ability to sing, not even Nigel. Maybe the startling discovery of her former assistant singing for her boss's daughters wedding would be enough for her to say her hellos, give congratulations and be gone in the fifteen minute flurry of attendance she was well known for. Much to Andy's chagrin, she would have to begin singing again before those fifteen minutes were up. Hopefully she could avoid the glare she was sure would come from the beautiful woman when she was noticed. Somehow she knew if she had to meet that blue gaze her determination to hold together would dissolve in an instant. The look of anger and disappointment from the woman she knew she loved would be her undoing.
Andy moved to the front of the stage as her band members settled back into their places and began the first song of the second set. She took a deep calming breath, closed her eyes and began to sing.
Miranda arrived at the wedding reception fashionably late, of course. She planned to congratulate the happy couple, Irv and Elizabeth and the grooms parents showing everyone the appropriate amount of respect, then mingle for a short time and make her expected escape. However, once she entered the room a strange feeling of foreboding made its way through her mind. Something was not right here. Someone she was not expecting to see was here. Suddenly a calm like she'd only ever felt in the presence of one person flowed through her whole being. She began scanning the room quickly looking for a familiar pair of brandy eyes. Her process to find her wayward former assistant was halted when Irv approached. She met his honest smile with one of her own. Their relationship had come a long way from where it began. She was sincerely happy for the man's joy. She knew one day she would feel that joy herself when her daughters found love.
Music had started behind her as she shook hands with Irv and offered a gentle hug to Elizabeth, she truly did like the woman. Just as she was about to take her leave to find the newlyweds and offer her congratulations a voice shocked her into an almost frozen state. Irv looked at her with worry. "Miranda?"
She recovered, shaking her head. "I'm fine." She still hadn't the nerve to turn around. "I think I'll get a glass of Champagne." She made to move when Irv's hand grasped her arm gently. "Allow me." He motioned for her to take a seat at the table behind them. Accepting the offer would mean she had to turn around and face what had caused her sudden fear. Steeling her nerves, Miranda turned slowly, allowing her eyes to move across the stage twenty feet in front of her. Her breath caught at the sight of Andrea Sachs standing behind the microphone singing the most beautiful rendition of "Desperado" she had ever heard.
Applause began as Andy finished the last note of the song. She raised her eyes looking around the gathered crowd and met the blue gaze of a stunned Miranda. She allowed a small smile to tip her lips and offered a slight head nod to the starring woman. The band immediately began the first bars of their next song and as Andy glanced to her left she saw Miranda gracefully take a seat, her eyes still locked on the brunette standing on the stage in front of her.
Irv returned with the promised glass of Champagne and sat it on the table in front of Miranda. He followed her gaze to the entertainer on the stage. After a moment of listening he spoke, "Wonderful isn't she?" Miranda hmmed her response. "You know, she looks very familiar, but I just can't place where I know her from. Usually I never forget a face." Miranda hmmed again, not willing to speak and break the spell Andrea had spun around her.
The two sat listening to the music and watching the guests glide across the floor for another song before Irv stood and offered a hand to Miranda. "Would you care to dance?"
Refusing to dance with your boss at his daughter's wedding was not something even Miranda was willing to do. She accepted graciously and stood to be led onto the dance floor.
Andy watched as Irv led Miranda across the floor. As her vocals finish with the song, she kept her eyes trained on the two as the music slowly ended. Quickly she glanced to the drummer and named a song. A change in the set was not a bid deal; they were close to the end of the required titles and would soon be performing requests.
Andy moved to the microphone and spoke clearly. "This next song was a special request by the groom for his bride." Andy locked eyes with Miranda who stood staring at her. "I would like to dedicate it to the special Lady in the room." She closed her eyes and calmed her nerves as the intro began. She was doing this, she was telling Miranda how she felt. She reopened her eyes just as she sang the first words and locked onto the steely gaze of blue eyes.
"Look around you, look up here
Take time to make time
Make time to be there
Look around, be a part
Feel for the winter
But don't have a cold heart."
Miranda moved gracefully with Irv across the floor, never allowing her eyes to leave Andrea as she sang.
"And I love you best
You're not like the rest
You're there when I need you
You're there when I need
I'm gonna need you"
It was the next pass she and Irv made close to the stage that she noticed Andy's white knuckled grip on the mic stand. Their eyes met again as she began the next verse. Miranda saw the fearful look in the younger woman's eyes and the timid smile that tipped her beautiful lips.
"A long time ago
I had a lady to love
She made me think of things
I never thought of
Now she's gone and I'm on my own
A love song has come into my mind
A love song
It was there all the time"
Andy closed her eyes…opened them to peer directly into Miranda's just as Irv spun her to face the singer.
"So lady
Let me take a look at you now
You're there on the dance floor
Making me want you somehow
Oh lady
I think it's only fair
I should say to you
Don't be thinkin' that I don't want you
'Cause maybe I do"
Miranda gasped softly. She met and held the younger woman's gaze every time her dance partner moved her in Andrea's line of vision.
"Look around, come to me
I have no answers
But know where I wanna be
I look around, play a part
I was born in the winter
And cooled by a warm heart"
Suddenly every moment, every vision, every conversation with her former assistant crashed into the front of her mind. Only years of practiced self control allowed her to remain upright and moving on weaken knees.
"And I love you best
You're not like the rest
You're there when I need you
You're there when I need
I'm gonna need you"
Miranda saw the lone tear slowly slide down Andrea's softly blushed cheek. She knew Andrea had put everything out there. She knew the last verse. She knew what Andrea, her Andrea held in her heart. She couldn't look into those intense eyes any longer. She turned her gaze away.
Andy died inside when Miranda broke their contact. She closed her eyes and finished the song, with more feeling than any but one other person in the room would have noticed.
"So lady
Let me take a look at you now
You're there on the dance floor
Making me want you somehow
Oh lady
I think it's only fair I should say to you
Don't be thinkin' that I don't want you
'Cause maybe I do
Don't be thinkin' that I don't want you
Lady I do"
The last few bars of the song continued without Andrea on stage. After almost whispering the last word she all but ran from the stage and headed to the only sanctuary available to her; the ladies room.
Miranda watched as the woman she loved fled, brokenhearted. Irv's words, gently but slightly smugly spoken pulled her eyes from the spot Andrea had disappeared through. "It seems the one that got away was willing to be caught again."
She gave him the iciest glare in her arsenal. Irv smirked at her, not intimidated by her glares any longer. Their relationship had moved them past that. "I don't think any of us will survive if you let her get away again my dear." He glided them to the edge of the dancing area closest to where Andrea had disappeared. Miranda looked at him for a long moment. "Thank you Irving." She said softly before she followed the only path Andrea could have taken.
She knew no matter what she was feeling, Andrea would not allow her sense of duty be overridden. The young woman would not leave the reception. She just needed to get away, away from Miranda and what she believed was the older woman's rejection.
Andy stood in front of the mirror, head hung with her chin against her chest, her hair swaying like a curtain in a breeze around her face, her eyes remained closed as her silent sobs shook her while her hands gripped the sink. She didn't turn or hide when she heard the door open, she knew instinctively who had entered and moved to stand behind her.
"Andrea." Miranda said softly. It was breaking her heart to see her love in such pain. Andrea's crying slowly stopped. She took a deep breath to fill her lungs with much needed air and fortify her nerves for the acerbic words she was sure Miranda would have for her. How dare she make such a public, blatant confession. She did what she, in her heart knew she had to do. Another chance may never come her way.
Andy raised her head but didn't wipe her eyes. She was not ashamed of her feelings for the woman standing behind her. She would not remove the evidence of her aching heart. When she opened her eyes and finally looked at Miranda's reflection her breath was taken away.
Miranda too had tear stains running down her lovely face. When she spoke her voice was soft and broken. "How, how long Andrea?"
Andy stood mesmerized by the blue of the other woman's eyes. She finally found her voice. "I, I think since the first day." She smiled weakly. She turned around to stand face to face with the woman she dreamt about. "But I didn't realize what it was until about four months after I had left you. I realized I missed you, so much it hurt." Silent tears leaked from her eyes.
Miranda took a shallow breath and nodded unhurriedly. "I myself only acknowledged my feelings after six months of trying to figure out why I felt compelled to compare everyone I knew, with the exception of my children, to you."
Both women smiled shyly at each other. Miranda reached up, Andy noticed her hand trembling, and tucked a stray strand of Andrea's flowing hair behind her ear then lightly cupped her cheek. "I've always loved your hair down. It frames your lovely face beautifully." Miranda was gifted with one of the younger woman's breathtaking smiles for her honest comment.
Andy reached up and gently wiped a tear from Miranda's skin then cupped her face. The older woman fluttered her eyelids. They stood like that, just softly touching each others cheeks for a few precious moments.
The affectionate moment was broken by a soft knock on the door. "Andy, were back on in five."
She grinned at Miranda. "I'll be right there Jimmy." The women heard him walk away. They both a little reluctantly dropped their hands. Andy sighed and thumbed behind her. "I need to…"
"Yes, of course." Miranda stood straighter. Her tone soften. "Perhaps, you would like to join me for dinner tomorrow night and explain how it is that you were in a position to serenade me so slyly," she quirked her lips "and beautifully."
Andy's smile radiated with her joy. "That would be wonderful Miranda. I look forward to it."
"Yes, well." Miranda shivered at the effect the woman's smile had on her. "Tomorrow then. I'll pick you up at seven." After one last deep look into to Andrea's eyes she turned to leave and allow Andrea to return to work.
As she reached the door she stopped and looked back at the woman she loved. "Thank you Andrea."