The man ran his hands through his already tousled hair as he rushed about pulling random levers and pushing random buttons. Frantic was an understatement for his movements; overexcited didn't exactly fit either. He jumped in front of a battered computer screen and spun it slightly as he gave another button a loud smack.
"Ah girl…that should work…." he murmured through clenched teeth and leaned back from the machine he operated. Time and relative dimension in space was its name, T.A.R.D.I.S. for short. She was a ship that traveled through time, fitted with all sorts of alien tech that made her fly.
And her pilot was even more of an enigma, of course.
The Doctor gave a near inaudible sigh as his frame slumped against the coral wall, a frown settling upon his face. For once in his life he was truly lonely, and he knew it. He couldn't stand it, couldn't bear his own presence. He needed someone to travel with, to feed off their excitement and wonder and joy and fear and yet…he had no one.
"Hey. That face doesn't suit you."
The brunette's head snapped up with a loud crack and met the eyes of a familiar face.
"Jack….Jack!? How in the world did you!?" the Doctor gushed as he interrupted himself, grabbing the other man's wrists.
"Good ol' Vortex Manipulator. Gotta love Gwen Cooper."
"Well then…hello hello, Face of Boe! Why in the world are on my ship?"
"I'm running, Doctor. Running away. With you."
"Me? Why me? You've got people…Torchwood people, but people nonetheless."
Jack flashed a bright smile and gave the Doctor a light slap of the cheek, "There's the Doctor I know and love! Hey, where's Donna?"
Chocolaty orbs misted up at the mention of that name, meeting a pair of sky-blue sapphires for a moment to convey their message.
The other man's lips parted slightly, barely able to form words. "Oh…Doctor, I…I'm so sorry." He whispered above the whirr of the T.A.R.D.I.S., wrapping the Doctor's slim body in a tight hug.
"It's okay Jack, it's fine. I'm not a huggy person myself, but…thanks anyways?"
He laughed quietly, "Anytime. So, what have you been doing, to pass time?"
"Didn't expect you to be so punny. Same thing as always, really. Just…roaming. Intergalactic people-watching, I guess."
"That's a nice way to put it."
"Yeah, well, got to be at least somewhat romantic. But…why are you here?"
"Like I said before, I'm running away, to find a new life."
"But why would you do that? What about your little Torchwood group? Sure, you're Torchwood, but you've got a bit of a heart. Why leave them?"
"Well, there's not much left, now is there?"
"Hm?"
"Well, you know."
The Doctor cocked his head slightly, like a child. "No, no I don't. What happened?"
Jack's clear blue sapphires turned to stormclouds, "Doctor, I'd rather you not put up that front."
"What front? I have no clue what you're talking about."
"Doctor. Please, I'm begging you, don't do this! Dammit Doctor, please don't do this to me!"
Confusion swirled around in the alien's eyes, "Jack, I don't know what you're talking about!"
With a whirl of motion, Jack had pinned him to the wall, eyes blazing and tones measured. "Doctor, please tell me that you're joking. Please tell me that you're playing a sick, twisted joke. You have to be kidding. You have to!!" Tears started to trickle down the man's cheeks, a not-so-new occurrence for him.
"Jack, calm down, and tell what happened." The Doctor managed through gritted teeth, struggling against the other's grip. "Please, tell me."
The man's body shuddered violently for a few seconds as he willed himself to let go of the other. Sobs began to wrack his body, which collapsed to the floor.
The Doctor knelt, his palms settling atop Jack's shoulders. He whispered, "Jack, what happened?"
"I…I HATE YOU!"
"Seriously? You're going to throw a tantrum?"
"I hate you! I hate you, I hate you, I hate you!"
"I know you're not a child, Jack."
"…I still hate you."
"Go ahead. Hate me, along with every other life I've destroyed."
"Exactly. I'm on that list."
"I know. But, you love me too."
Jack laughed dryly, "It's the hair."
"Good man. Now, will you tell me what happened?"
"Aliens…they came to Earth. We called them the 456…and, they represented one of the worst sides of humanity. Addicts, Doctor. They were addicted to children."
"Alien paedophiles?"
"No. They weren't perverted or anything, but they fed off the children. Their bodies, their DNA, amino acids, lack of hormones, maybe all of them. I dealt with them before, in 1965. But…they came back, for more. Not just 12, but 10% of the world's children."
"Wow, big number!"
Jack paused and looked the man in the eyes. "You know what it's like to be in love, Doctor. You know how scary it is, that emotion. How it can overtake you and make you abandon all logic, you know…you know how terrifying it is to be in love with a human."
"Yeah, I know."
"And how heartbreaking it is when you ruin their lives…forever."
"…yes."
"It was either 10% of the children or the entire human race, Doctor. Or…my grandson could be sacrificed to save them all."
The Doctor's chocolate orbs widened slightly at this, and the man was unable to suppress a small gasp. "Jack…don't tell me you…"
"I had to, Doctor. I had to."
"But…you're human! Immortal, but human! Your kind can't do that willy-nilly! You can't do that…you just can't!"
"Unless provoked to levels of unimaginable rage, Doctor, unless provoked."
"But…what did they do?"
"They killed the man I loved. And I really loved him this time. A love…so deep that I'd give my all to find a way to make him immortal too… You don't know how badly I needed you and your little blue box to show up in that moment."
"Jack, I'm no hero. What could I have done, given you empty hope?"
"You could've tried."
"I'm a Time Lord, Jack, not a god. He needed a doctor, not a Doctor."
"You could have saved him! I know you would! He'd be alive today! And we'd be in love, and it would be the best life I've ever lived. But I can't live that life anymore."
"Jack, I'm not a miracle worker. I can't go back and save him. He had to die, Jack, he had to."
"But why him!? Why him?! I mean, there are over 6 billion people on Earth, and one of the two most precious people I care about has to die? Why am I the one that has to suffer? Why does it have to be me?!"
The Doctor sighed and lowered his eyes to the floor. "Name a question that I haven't asked myself, will you? At least no one else but us has to bear the pain."
"At times, I wish there were others."
"Wish all you want, but it'll never change. Never. It will always be you and me who have to visit so many funerals, watch so many deaths, sacrifices, suicides, mistakes. We can't help them; we always have to move on."
"You're not human though, it's easier for you to say."
"Just because I'm not human doesn't mean I don't have human emotions. Love, pain, anger, those are the strongest. Auschwitz, Hiroshima, Antietam, Gallifrey. I was there. I was watching, fighting alongside my friends as they died. And I couldn't do anything to save them. Trust me Jack, I know your pain. And people like Sarah Jane, Rose, Martha, and Donna. They're not the only ones that have traveled with me, Jack. I have hurt so many. Even if I have one more heart than you, it doesn't mean that I'm any more stronger than you."
"Well, at least those three have gone on to lead relatively normal lives. Relatively. It's a job for the people I love, not some fantastic adventure."
"Then don't go around hiring them!"
"Why do you think I'm trying to run away? I'm sick of it all!"
"You can't just escape it; you have to face it, like the idiot of a man you are! Earth isn't my planet, it's yours. It is your duty! You battle on the frontlines of that war, not me."
"Wars are often lost, Doctor."
"But in what a war destroys, better ideas are born. When I met you, you were a time-traveling flirt with nothing better to do. And look at you now! Well, you're still a flirt, but you've got people to live for, people to protect! Even if they hate you, you'll always fight to protect them. You've grown so much, and I am so proud of you."
"You sound like a father."
"Well, I've been one, and will probably be one again when time lets me. And so have you. We both know that parenting comes with parenthood."
"And we'd got to control our children, because we love them."
"And children need to know when they've done wrong."
"I'm sorry. For emptying all my rage out on you…I'm sorry. I know that you have to suffer the most out of anybody in the whole of eternity. I'm sorry."
"I'm not the only one you have to apologize to."
"I know." Jack murmured, his hand settling on the door handle. "but you've done some good too, Doctor."
"I have?"
"Rose and him…they're married. She's pregnant."
"I knew they'd be perfect for each other. Guess I've got someone to visit, don't I? Anyways Jack, you've got to go."
"You'll visit for Christmas, right?"
"Of course I will. Since aliens tend to have a habit of trying to destroy your planet that day. You'd think they'd choose a warmer day, maybe in June? Oh well. I'll be seeing you, Jack."
"Goodbye, Doctor. Til the end of days."
"Oh yes!" grinned the tousle-haired man, giving Jack a mock salute.
He stepped out of the police box, a small smile resting upon his features. The man lowered himself down to the grass as he watched over downtown Cardiff.
My planet, huh? Doctor, you're lucky that my heart doesn't beat for anything else.
He craned his neck, stretching to see Gwen at the bottom of the hill.
"Gwen!" he called out, jogging down to meet her.
"Jack! You're back! What the hell happened?"
"I'm sorry. I'm afraid I'll be sticking around for quite a while."
"Idiot. You know you don't have to apologize for that."