I don't know about y'all but I love angst. I love writing it and I love trying to manipulate people's feelings with writing.
With that said this is an unhappy one shot with explicit content (not detailed)
Please let me know how you like it.
Last Kiss
Cedric was a hard man to love, which is why it came as such a surprise when he got together with Sofia. He couldn't comprehend how someone would so willingly give him their love when his entire life he'd been starved for it. He relished in it, sucked up every last drop.
He would allow her to fawn over him when they were alone (certainly not in the presence of her family). Sofia loved with her whole heart and soul; he could feel himself enveloped in what seemed like a cocoon of her love. She was perfect in every aspect.
It wasn't widely known that Cedric had a lot of emotional issues he'd been dealing with his entire life but Sofia was able to see them easily and even more impressively, she loved him despite them. Or maybe she loved him and them. He'd never fully understood why.
Sofia was there for him when he felt like his anxiety was just too much. It was a lot to deal with being the Royal Sorcerer of the king who felt like he was never enough. He would be reminded of his father and how he seemed to never impress him. When Sofia showed up at the young age of 8, she managed to befriend him, and even then he appreciated everything she did for him.
The best instance he could remember was two years ago, when Sofia was 18. King Roland threw the most marvelous party (albeit the help of Amber) to commemorate Prince James' engagement. Cedric was asked to put on a show, as he normally was. He begged the king to please ask someone else, perhaps the Royal Sorcerer from James' fiancee's kingdom. King Roland would have none of it and demanded Cedric to put on the show.
What King Roland didn't know is that the day in question was the year anniversary his familiar, Wormwood, passed away and he was still very torn up about losing his friend. He couldn't concentrate. Sofia though, bless her heart, tried her hardest to get her father to reconsider and he heard none of it.
What happened next was probably the most embarrassing show of fireworks any of the kingdoms had ever seen and King Roland was livid. Cedric quickly disappeared into his tower, locking the door behind him and leaning against it. Ever since Wormwood had passed, he felt a strange anxiety with leaving his door unlocked. Cedric felt Wormwood's being there somehow protected the room from any unkindly forces. Now that Wormwood was gone, his door was always locked, much to the chagrin of the castle staff. Sofia had understood. She developed a specific knock he knew was just for her and recognized it always. She was never waiting long to enter the room.
The room was dark; he hadn't had the energy to even cast a spell to light the candles so he sat in complete darkness. He felt as though the room was closing in on him and he could feel the effects of his anxiety attack coming along. His body was vibrating with nerves and waves of anxiety rolled off him like water cascading down a waterfall. It became hard to breathe, Cedric was grasping at his throat anxiously, as if that would help him breathe. It didn't.
When Cedric heard the familiar knock at the door he knew it was Sofia. He unlocked the door and she hurried inside, quickly kneeling beside him and taking his head into her lap and stroking his hair. Her presence calmed him. It took twenty-seven minutes for him to fully calm down. When he finally did, his body gave off a strange glow, just enough to illuminate the two bodies on the floor in front of the entrance of his workshop.
Cedric stared at Sofia from her lap, both of them had their gazes locked on each other. Sofia didn't even comment on the fact that he was glowing. She figured it was something he did after his anxiety attacks only usually he had them when it was brighter outside so this time she could actually see it.
They looked at each other for what seemed like an eternity and Cedric studied every line and crease of her face. He wanted to remember her face for the rest of his life.
"Why are you here?"
"There's nowhere else I would rather be than here with you." Sofia whispered to him like a secret, hovering over his body, lightened by his glowing aura. Like a magical potion, he felt healed. He could do anything now that Sofia held him. He'd never forget her first admittance of some sort of feelings towards him at 1:58 in the morning. It was a Tuesday.
"I feel the same." He responded honestly. He was coming off his strange high from his anxiety attack and everything was still spinning and he felt like his body was floating. This time, however, he wondered if there was a different reason for it.
Sofia wasn't a novice to Cedric's increasing anxiety attacks. She started helping him with them sometime when she was 15. She never found out the reason he had one that day but ever since then she always aided him. Her amulet seemed to know their unspoken vow and turned into a pea-green color whenever he started getting anxious. Sofia never knew how the amulet but it brought on several abrupt conversation endings. If she was talking to Amber and noticed the color changed, she would drop what she was doing and go to him. If she were practicing Flying Derby, she would fly to his window and jump off the horse. She was always there and Cedric knew she would show up each time.
The first time they told each other they loved one another was July 9th. Cedric would never forget that day. He was flying around on his contraption (as he named it plane) he saw Sofia stand at the front steps of the castle. He didn't want to land outside since it was raining but he felt like he needed to be by her side. He quickly landed the plane and hopped out, damn near running towards her. As he got closer, he noticed she was drenched in rain. Her face was wet from the rain but her eyes were red and her cheeks were swollen. She was crying.
"Are you okay, Princess Sofia?" He asked quickly, his anxiety racing. He was standing in front of her now.
"I've been chosen for an arranged marriage." She said, thick through tears. His eyebrows rose up to his hairline.
"What?" He asked incredulously. He noticed her amulet darkened yellow as his anxiety got worse. She rubbed her face and dove into Cedric's arms. She was drenched and she got him soaked, not that he wouldn't get wet from standing right where the rain was falling, but she sped up the process. He felt her heart pound against his ribcage as she cried into the crook of his neck. He didn't even care if anyone was watching. He put his arms around her and rubbed her back mumbling soothing words, pulling her into the alcove to get away from the rain.
He felt her arms around his midsection and he whispered whatever came to mind to get her to calm down. He felt her mouth move and heard a muffled noise against his skin, but he didn't know what she said.
"What was that, Princess?" He asked quietly, even though the sound of the rain was deafening and he wasn't sure if she heard him. She pulled away from him so she could look him in the eyes. Her irises were much darker than he'd ever seen them; they put the angry sky to shame. He traced the veins in her eyes that brightened with her tears and noticed the swollen cheeks. Her hair was both frizzing and completely wet. He imagined he didn't look any better. Standing with her in his arms though, he'd never felt better. He never saw Sofia more beautiful than he did when she finally uttered the words,
"I said I love you." She said them calmly and sniffled, moving her nose like a rabbit. She pulled her arms away from him and rubbed her eyes. I'm sorry. I... shouldn't have said that. I... Just wanted you to know." Sofia rubbed her eyes trying to will the new wave of tears not to come out. She noticed the yellow color of her amulet was getting darker. Why was he getting so anxious?
"I... I love you too, Princess Sofia." He admitted softly. "More than you know." He smiled wistfully, and they stared at each other and there was such a bittersweet force surrounding them they almost laughed at the irony.
"Well... This makes things even harder... I didn't expect..." Sofia trailed off and Cedric's eyebrows pushed together in a confused manner.
"You didn't expect what?"
"You to love me." That was a shock.
"What else would I feel?" Cedric asked and although he felt anxiety like a second skin, gnawing at his self-worth, urging him to do things because he felt himself unworthy of even life, he opened up for the first time in his life. He poured out his heart that day, like the rain from the sky he admitted everything he felt. "What else could anyone feel for you? I've never known a more loving soul, Sofia. Your beauty is unrivaled and your kindness even surpasses that. You've been my first friend, my only friend. You come to me when I need you to and it must be silly of me to think there would ever be something more than just that friendship we've held strong for 12 years, but bloody hell, I hoped. Knowing that you've been betrothed is... probably the most... painful thing I've ever heard... But I'll still be here. I'll always... be here."
There wasn't much else said between the two but Cedric was glad the doors didn't have windows and they were hidden away in an alcove. Kissing Sofia was the greatest experience of his life. Even if she were betrothed to another.
As the days melded to weeks, and the weeks to months, they developed a routine. They shouldn't have, they knew it was a path to disaster but in those moments, neither of them cared.
Sofia spoke to Lucinda the most about the impending doom of the relationship and she wished she could take Lucinda's advice and just "screw what they say and marry the old dude" but she couldn't. She was glad Lucinda was there to help her pick herself up each time her parents made her go on a mandatory courting date.
When Sofia turned 21, there was a glorious party in her name. Her betrothed was unable to attend but she didn't so much mind. It was a beautiful affair that Amber loved putting together to celebrate Sofia's big day. Especially because just 6 months from then, Sofia would be married.
Amber wondered why Sofia's eyes grew somber whenever she mentioned the wedding but didn't press the issue. She knew Sofia enough to know that if she didn't want to talk about something she just wouldn't.
Cedric stayed at the back wall of the party, just admiring Sofia from afar. He wished he could wisp her away and hide in his tower with her with the only noises that flooded his ears being their breathing and the sound of their lips together.
Kissing Sofia was a forbidden fruit that he couldn't get enough of. Sickly sweet and impossible to stop. They'd never gone further than that, however. She did like curling up with him on his bed. They could lay there for hours just staring at each other. It didn't take long for one of them to initiate desperate kisses, like a pleading love begging to be unforgotten.
Cedric supposed he shouldn't be thinking of those adulterated thoughts of her as one of her friends (was it Zander?) twirled her around the ballroom. Her laughter was melodious and he'd never heard a more pure sound in his life. His heart ached with a passion he wasn't aware he could feel. How he wished he could stride over to her and ask for a dance. He couldn't. He was beneath her. There was a sick satisfaction he got though when he remembered all of their stolen kisses over the months.
Sofia glowed, going from one friend to another, dancing. She was the life of the party at any party. She was the heart and soul as well. Everyone was just naturally drawn to her, she was such a beacon of pure goodness it was hard not to get sucked into her vortex.
Cedric watched her dance with Hugo with interest. He'd known of earlier times when they were ice dance partners and (even begrudgingly) noticed how flawlessly they danced together. He noticed her tiny smirk she got when she was showing off and he smiled at her affectionately and rolled his eyes. Cedric wasn't even sure Sofia knew when she was being a show off but that little smile that played on the corner of her rosy pink lips gave it away each time. She smiled as if it was a secret and she was trying her hardest not to say, but the person guessed it right and she couldn't help herself.
"Come on Mister Cedric!" Sofia called, running over to him.
"No need to run, Princess." Cedric scolded half-heartedly. He didn't need the attention of having the birthday girl running across the ballroom to get to him. Too late, it seemed. "What is it you want?"
"Dance with me!" Her cheeks were a beautiful pink color and he almost gave in right away.
"Sofia you know I don't dance." He brushed her off, loving the chase that she always put forth into getting him to dance with her. She did this at every ball, it never ceased. She would always ask for a dance. It started when she was 8, and she noticed he was never asked to dance so she always saved him a dance. From there it developed into a tradition. The family didn't even bat an eye at it; they were so used to it.
Sofia saw Lucinda from across the room and gave her a nod and Lucinda winked at her.
"Please dance with me, Mister Cedric." She said sweetly and Cedric continued to cross his arms and keep his nose in the air.
"Sofia-"
"I'll stay with you extra late tonight." She promised and Cedric choked on his saliva and his face reddened. Sofia blushed at the reaction but outstretched her arm and Cedric scoffed.
"Yes, yes whatever princess. You know it would be improper if I were to decline a dance by the birthday girl." He said seemingly uncaring but Sofia knew she won without his half assed excuses. She giggled and he led her to the dance floor.
Sofia shared another look with Lucinda. Lucinda pulled out her wand and discreetly aimed it at the band and suddenly a slow song was playing. Cedric's eyebrow raised at her and she smiled sheepishly.
"Oh wow, looks like we just happen to be dancing to a slow song that no one could have seen we planned." She said in mock-surprise.
"I can clearly see you planned it, Princess." He deadpanned but held her closer anyway. She smiled at him, her eyes brimming with happiness.
"I love you." She whispered. Cedric's dance steps faltered and he gave a quick look around for anyone in earshot distance. "Oh stop it. No one heard me."
"Sofia you're playing a very dangerous game..." He warned and she shrugged her shoulders and let him lead her in a slow relaxing dance.
"You play too sometimes. I guess I'm more dedicated." She challenged and he scowled at her.
"Unfair, princess. And besides..." He sighed and leaned in closer to her. "You know I love you too." The soft purr of his words tickled her neck and ear sending shivers down her body. Her hair stood up and she looked at him lovingly. He pulled back so they were at a normal distance apart and smirked at her.
"That's not fair." Sofia said simply. "You know I can't resist your incredibly sexy accent." Cedric faltered for the second time and his face was bright red. Sofia took that time to count her victory and he composed himself quickly and just rolled his eyes not knowing what to say.
When the song was over, he regretfully pulled away from her, and gave her a bow of his head and walked back to the side of the room where he would (hopefully) blend in with the wall. He wasn't in the mood for the party anymore. He wasn't sure he could handle seeing her dance with other people now that he held the warmth of her body just inches away from his own. He cursed them for having a higher status than his own and stared anywhere but the dancefloor. It took all he had not to storm out of the room and hide in his tower, but he stayed hoping that Sofia would spare him several glances.
She didn't disappoint.
Later that night he sat on his workbench staring at his locked door. He wished he could leave it unlocked even just for a moment so he didn't wait awkwardly in his workshop to see if Sofia would ever come to him for a while before bed. He tried once and had to lock it only a minute later, his anxiety was so bad.
His fingers trembled in anticipation and he slowly realized he was getting more and more anxious. He bit his lip and let his leg bounce impatiently as it rested on his stool. He gave a glance to his parent's portrait and sighed. He spelled it a while ago to give him privacy so they could only interact with him through it if he took the privacy wards down.
There came a slightly more impatient knock, of the same pattern as Sofia's normal knock. He wondered if she came because of his anxiety or if she was headed there already.
He opened the door and Sofia stood there with tears on her cheeks.
"Sofia? What's wrong?" She walked passed him and he quickly shut and locked the door. She didn't stop at his workbench like normal, she walked down the stairs to his bed chamber. He followed quickly behind her trying to figure out what was wrong with the poor girl.
"I have 6 more months." She said quietly. "How did it happen so quickly?" Cedric felt his heart ache painfully at the admission and he looked downcast.
"I don't know. Come here, let me hold you." Sofia climbed on the bed and buried her face into his chest and he held her closely, letting his chin rest on her head.
Cedric supposed he should've felt bad for having another man's promised wife in his bed but nothing about having Sofia curled up against his chest could make him feel that way. He stared at his wall, trying to piece together everything that happened so poorly to bring them to where they were now.
"Cedric." Sofia's voice was soft, meek. He let his eyes look down at the tuft of hair on his pillow and chest. "Make love to me." She said, after pulling away to look at him directly in the eyes. He saw the desperation in her eyes and every part of him told him it was wrong. How could it be wrong with her begging him like that?
"Okay." He whispered and she smiled through her tears and let him touch her in ways she never knew.
The next day he was able to watch her in her flying derby race with mild amusement by her look of discomfort sitting on a horse that way. Sofia gave herself to him, and it was such a sweet secret, one he never wanted to keep. He wanted to scream it from the gallows. He wanted to tell whomever would listen that Sofia was his, truly.
He pretended not to notice when she skipped over to him. How he loved when she wore pants. There was something intimate about seeing her legs. Sofia loved pants, mainly the pockets they had. She always had her hands in her pockets, and when he asked why several years ago, she emphasized how great pockets were and she had to get as much use out of them when she was able to wear pants.
"Mister Cedric!" She said happily and his stone face of stoicism melted away the second he heard her voice call his name, and he smiled at her warmly. "Did you see that? I won." She bragged happily and he nodded.
"Yes I did, princess. Good for you." He said tenderly and they held eye contact for what seemed like hours, just smiling at each other.
"Well done, Sofia!" Roland called out as him and Miranda walked over to the two. "Cedric! I didn't know you liked flying derby!"
"Oh not particularly." Cedric admitted foolishly unthinking.
"Oh? What brings you here?" Roland asked confused.
"We had a bet." Sofia cut in. "I bet him I would win and if I won, he had to give me a ride on his plane... to mystic meadows." She grinned at him and he frowned at it, but didn't disbar her lie.
"Yes. And unfortunately now I must visit my parents." Sofia giggled and Cedric gave a very dramatic sigh. Neither of them noticed the strange look Miranda gave them before Sofia dragged him off.
Cedric never knew why Sofia loved seeing his parents so much. She always hugged his mom and gave a handshake to his father, much to his dismay. Sofia made them promise they wouldn't treat her like a princess there and they agreed. Cedric personally loved watching Sofia give his father a handshake. He wasn't sure if it was the discomfort on his father's face, glee on Sofia's face, or the oddity of it all. This time, however, she hugged them both. He noticed his mother held on for longer than usual.
Despite only having a short amount of time together, Sofia still kept up having lessons with Cedric in his tower. These lessons got less and less useful because while Cedric was trying to teach her, she would kiss him and then he would forget where he was in the lesson.
He lived for her touches. He longed for her kisses. And he died for her heart.
When Cedric finally had to stand in front of her that last night he didn't think he could make it. His heart ached so painfully in his chest he was sure he would die.
Sofia's lips were a thin line, looking at Cedric pleadingly, although she didn't know what she was begging for. They could yell and cry about how unfair it was but both of them knew there wasn't a damn thing they could do about it.
So that night Cedric took his time with her. He worshipped her body, every inch of skin. He inhaled her scent, fisting her soft curls in his hand, kissing her neck. He hoped he wouldn't break down and cry but he wasn't sure he could.
In that moment, being so tangled up in Sofia was all he could ask for. Their foreheads pressed against each other, he didn't even have the energy to move, it was just enough to be inside her and staring into her eyes.
"I love you Sofia." He tried to say it without his voice cracking, he really did. Sofia pulled him to her body and he felt her tremble beneath him like he had so many times before. This time, for a completely different reason. He couldn't keep his tears to himself anymore.
Before the wedding, Sofia went to his tower. She knocked on the door and waited. Cedric opened the door and she saw his face fall seeing her in the beautiful white gown. Her pink amulet around her neck, nestled right below her beautiful collar bones and just above the curve of her breasts.
"You're absolutely stunning." He forced a smile on his face, she saw his lips tremble and she knew it was a bad idea to come in the first place.
"I love you Cedric." She threw herself into his arms and he hugged her tightly.
"I love you Sofia. Never forget that." She hid her face in his chest and cried. "Don't do that, princess. You'll ruin your make up." He said softly and sucked in a breath of air. His heart hurt so bad it was hard to breathe. She pulled away and her amulet was dark yellow. He covered the amulet with his hand.
"You don't need to worry about me anymore." He said softly and when he moved his hand it was pink again. "Thank you for everything. Go get married, Princess." He kissed her forehead and held her close.
Sofia waited until the last minute and pulled away, hiccupping on her tears and gave him a kiss. Their last one. Wet, like their first. She pulled away and he stared at her heartbroken expression one last time and she ran down the stairs. He watched her go and continued to stare long after he couldn't see her anymore.
Sofia left the castle after they were married. He never got the prince's name but he brought her back to his own kingdom to be his queen. Cedric didn't go to the wedding. He stood at the stairs for a while, lost in thought and heartache.
The night Sofia left, he watched her carriage leave from his window. He hoped he would see her, he thought he did. He watched the carriage fade into the clouds and he sat at the window for hours.
Cedric knew that was the day his heart and soul broke, and he couldn't do anything about it.
He didn't know how much time passed. It could be days or weeks. He sat with his back against the cold stone wall and his body faced the door, waiting for Sofia to knock. He was afraid if he wasn't there for it he wouldn't be there to unlock the door when she finally came back to him.
Cedric stood up, nursing the apprentice robes Sofia had left in his chamber and walked to the door. He put his hand on the wood and stared at the door for a long time. He reached down and unlocked the door.
He stood in front of the door for a long time and went down to his bedchambers and slept, for once not thinking of the distressing feeling of anxiety from his unlocked door.
He missed her so much he left the door unlocked, hoping she would come home.