A/N: Yeah, it's December. Well, I had the idea yesterday, so it's justified that this wasn't posted on Thanksgiving. I had this idea in my half-asleep daze, and now I'm writing it. I hope that you enjoy my newest Gravity Falls epic. (Epic? So now I'm Stephen King?) Have an excellent day, everyone! I do not own Gravity Falls or the material that I'm parodying, Charlie Brown.
It's a chilly fall day in Gravity Falls. The stereotypical signs of happiness- chirping birds, shining suns, and gleeful laughter- are all in abundance. The most stereotypical location of all, however, is a meadow.
"Hey, Bill!" Pacifica shouted. "I'll hold the football, and you'll kick it!"
Bill Cipher looked downcast. "Aw, I don't wanna. Every time I try to kick the football, you drag it away and I end up hurting myself. I'm not going to get fooled again."
Pacifica thought for a moment. "But Bill Cipher, it's Thanksgiving! Would I really try to hurt you on a national holiday?"
Bill Cipher looked up. "You know, you're right. It's a national holiday! No one wants to be mean on a national holiday!" He started running toward Pacifica and the football with the speed of a racecar. "This time I'm going to kick that football straight to the moon!"
Pacifica instantly lifted up the football, causing Bill to fly up into the air and crash onto the ground with a nasty crunch, crying "AAUUGGHHHHHH!"
Turning a curious shade of amber, he floated up to Pacifica and ate her in one solid gulp, grinning.
(A wonderful montage of crunchy leaves, brisk wind, and colorful patterns in the snow appears. Waddles the pig and Gravity Falls's resident woodpecker parade by, holding up the title card.)
A Bill Cipher Thanksgiving: A Gravity Falls Special
Glumly, Bill Cipher checked the mailbox, only to find nothing. Mabel walked up, wondering what he was doing. For her stupidity, despite her being very young, Bill Cipher zapped the mailbox and shoved her inside the mail slot. As he walked away, he could hear her screaming, "The Great Turkey's not going to like this!"
A while later, Wendy Corduroy called Bill Cipher on the phone. "Yo, Bob." It's Bill, he thought grumpily, but said nothing outwardly. Wendy took notice of the odd silence on his end. "Bob, you there? It's Thanksgiving. Are you going to have a Thanksgiving party?"
Bill tried to speak, but Wendy cut him off. "Great, Bob! We'll be there. Hey, gang!" Soos, Grenda, Candy, Schmabel, and various other children instantly appeared beside her. "Pack it up, Bob is throwing a Thanksgiving party!"
Bill was getting extremely frustrated at this point. He went through the power cords and appeared in Wendy's house, getting ready to do something very nasty. Unfortunately, Wendy was oblivious. "Great, Bob! You can cook the food here!"
Bill tore her to shreds, along with the other children. "I HATE HOLIDAYS!"
The End
A/N: Were you expecting a parody of the full events in the special? I tried, but Bill didn't like that idea. I'm sorry if you didn't like this parody, I slightly lost my train of thought after the cold opening. Really, the football scene was what I was imagining in the first place. Read and review honestly, if you please, but don't be cruel. This definitely wasn't my best work, but it won't be the worst. (Unless I decide to make another parody of something that I know nothing about, save for information gleaned from other parodies. Cough, Yu-Gi-Oh!, cough.)