The Somehow Game
He is looking at you again, his cold silver eyes warmed over with anger. He is glaring at you in the way he has reserved for when you do something to piss him off, when you break one of his unwritten rules. You vaguely recall telling him that he had beautiful eyes, but that was long ago. You were a different person then. Hell, he was a different person, and those days are far-gone. He is going to yell, you know this because it happens often. You can feel it, and if you try hard enough you can see it. The wheels in his head are turning and you see him smirk. He loves to play blame, it is his favorite game of all.
"You." He states icily. "This is all your fault." You are preparing yourself for the onslaught. You have no defense against the mental barrage about to ensue, he is wonderful with his words. You sit quietly, listening to his reasoning. He is telling you about how it is your fault that his whole day was horrible. It is now your turn to play. it is his second favorite game, it is called somehow. You start thinking, "Somehow, this really is my fault. I shouldn't have talked to Ron. he told me not too." "Somehow, I deserve his anger." You are planning on telling him all of this when you shake your head and out of nowhere you think, "Somehow things are different this time. there is no way this can be my fault!"
This thought is foreign to you, this is the first time you have questioned his word, and that is just not the way it works. Unwillingly, you speak. "No." He throws an incredulous look your way and you question whether or not he will hit you, especially in front of people. You decide not to continue talking, afraid of the results.
".What?" His tone is acidic, you have broken rule number one: Never defy what Draco Malfoy says. "You," He spits the word like it disgusts him to talk about you, "Are a disgusting excuse for a person! You are supposed to love me. not betray me." You open your mouth to protest, but he will have no part of it. "No one told you that you could talk!" You shrink back into yourself, feeling rather degraded. After getting past the outer bad-ass that was Draco Malfoy, you thought you had met the real, sweet, sensitive side to him. Lately he had been turning into a monster.
"I know why you are like this. it is Weasley, he is filling you with lies about me." You giggle at this statement, at the irrationality of all of this. You receive a death glare for this. He continues on, "If you keep seeing him, then you do not love me, I will have to tell you good bye."
With sudden and rapidly fading nerve, you stand. "I. I.good-bye, then." A tear falls from your eye, you stop and wait for his reaction. He grabs your hand and pulls you back down. He is whispering to you, and you remember why you deal with him. with this.
"It doesn't have to be like this." His voice is soft, and almost sweet. He has given you a glimmer of hope, maybe the him you used to know is back?
"It doesn't?" You ask, optimistically.
"Of course not." You start to let your guard down, you begin to trust his word again, and he continues to talk. "As long as you never, ever see that prick again!"
You stand up, laughing bitterly. "You are the most arrogant, pompous asshole I have ever met, Draco Malfoy." He is in stunned, to say the least. He begins to speak, but you cut him off. "No. You shut up! It has been your turn to talk since I met you, for once in this God- forsaken relationship I have something to say!" The anger that you have held back for so long is releasing, and you think you may go on forever like this.
"You like games a lot. lets play the somehow game right now!" You are screaming now, and you don't care, the angry and confused looks you are getting go unnoticed. "I am so tired of you and your controlling bullshit! It will kill me, but I never want to talk to you again. And somehow I think it will make me better than I am now. Somehow, I think I can survive. Good Bye!" You don't look back as you head towards the door, you do, however, take satisfaction in the fact that he is speechless for once.
He is looking at you again, his cold silver eyes warmed over with anger. He is glaring at you in the way he has reserved for when you do something to piss him off, when you break one of his unwritten rules. You vaguely recall telling him that he had beautiful eyes, but that was long ago. You were a different person then. Hell, he was a different person, and those days are far-gone. He is going to yell, you know this because it happens often. You can feel it, and if you try hard enough you can see it. The wheels in his head are turning and you see him smirk. He loves to play blame, it is his favorite game of all.
"You." He states icily. "This is all your fault." You are preparing yourself for the onslaught. You have no defense against the mental barrage about to ensue, he is wonderful with his words. You sit quietly, listening to his reasoning. He is telling you about how it is your fault that his whole day was horrible. It is now your turn to play. it is his second favorite game, it is called somehow. You start thinking, "Somehow, this really is my fault. I shouldn't have talked to Ron. he told me not too." "Somehow, I deserve his anger." You are planning on telling him all of this when you shake your head and out of nowhere you think, "Somehow things are different this time. there is no way this can be my fault!"
This thought is foreign to you, this is the first time you have questioned his word, and that is just not the way it works. Unwillingly, you speak. "No." He throws an incredulous look your way and you question whether or not he will hit you, especially in front of people. You decide not to continue talking, afraid of the results.
".What?" His tone is acidic, you have broken rule number one: Never defy what Draco Malfoy says. "You," He spits the word like it disgusts him to talk about you, "Are a disgusting excuse for a person! You are supposed to love me. not betray me." You open your mouth to protest, but he will have no part of it. "No one told you that you could talk!" You shrink back into yourself, feeling rather degraded. After getting past the outer bad-ass that was Draco Malfoy, you thought you had met the real, sweet, sensitive side to him. Lately he had been turning into a monster.
"I know why you are like this. it is Weasley, he is filling you with lies about me." You giggle at this statement, at the irrationality of all of this. You receive a death glare for this. He continues on, "If you keep seeing him, then you do not love me, I will have to tell you good bye."
With sudden and rapidly fading nerve, you stand. "I. I.good-bye, then." A tear falls from your eye, you stop and wait for his reaction. He grabs your hand and pulls you back down. He is whispering to you, and you remember why you deal with him. with this.
"It doesn't have to be like this." His voice is soft, and almost sweet. He has given you a glimmer of hope, maybe the him you used to know is back?
"It doesn't?" You ask, optimistically.
"Of course not." You start to let your guard down, you begin to trust his word again, and he continues to talk. "As long as you never, ever see that prick again!"
You stand up, laughing bitterly. "You are the most arrogant, pompous asshole I have ever met, Draco Malfoy." He is in stunned, to say the least. He begins to speak, but you cut him off. "No. You shut up! It has been your turn to talk since I met you, for once in this God- forsaken relationship I have something to say!" The anger that you have held back for so long is releasing, and you think you may go on forever like this.
"You like games a lot. lets play the somehow game right now!" You are screaming now, and you don't care, the angry and confused looks you are getting go unnoticed. "I am so tired of you and your controlling bullshit! It will kill me, but I never want to talk to you again. And somehow I think it will make me better than I am now. Somehow, I think I can survive. Good Bye!" You don't look back as you head towards the door, you do, however, take satisfaction in the fact that he is speechless for once.