WARNING: If you've ever lost anyone in an accident or have experienced death close to you, it may be triggering. So, fair warning...
So this is the prequel (?) to my pervious story Memories. I actually wrote that one first, but, whatever...
This is Sebogan (Sebastian/Logan) and I consider it to be rather angsty.
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So... enjoy, I guess... it's painful I promise
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"I love you," Sebastian said, leaning in to peck Logan's cheek, a small smile on his lips.
"I love you, too, Seb," Logan responded, turning to slip his hands around Sebastian's hips, pulling him in to properly kiss him, causing Sebastian to laugh.
"Lo, you gotta get to work."
"I don't wanna."
Sebastian pulled a face, barely keeping his grin at bay. "But Logan," he scolded. "You need to get to work, and act like a proper gentleman, and keep yourself looking nice and spiffy in your suit, so I can rip it off of you when you get home."
Logan let out a burst of laughter at that, dropping his head on Sebastian's shoulder for a moment while he calmed down.
He straightened back up after, letting Sebastian futz with his tie and his hair until he was satisfied.
Another kiss, followed by a hug.
"I'll see you tonight, Sebastian," Logan finally said, stepping away from the brunet. If he didn't leave now, he never would.
"You bet your ass you will," Sebastian responded with a smirk, and a pat on Logan's ass.
The blond laughed, and with that, he was out the door, moving down the hallway with a wave and a smile, suit pressed and clean, and hair styled to his fiancées liking.
That was the last time Sebastian would ever see him like that again.
He had been lounging on the large leather chair in their apartment, TV on and legs dangling over the armrest as he nursed a beer. Logan was later than normal, by about two hours, but Sebastian was paying no mind to it. It had happened before.
He was on his third hour of some mind-numbing reality show when he got the call.
"Hello?" Sebastian answered with a groan after nearly falling off of the couch from the startle of the ring.
"Mr. Smythe?"
"Legally, yes."
The voice on the other end was muffled for a moment, only a couple shouts echoing through. Sebastian frowned as he muted the television. "Hello?"
The voice came back. "Yes, hello Mr. Smythe. This is Laura Kaynes calling from Lexington Memorial emergency department."
"Wait, the hospital?" Sebastian's frown deepened. "What's this about? What's happened?"
"I understand you're the fiancée of one John Wright?"
"Logan?" Sebastian asked, concern drowning his voice as he slid off the chair. His legs were becoming a bit wobbly, so he kept one hand on the seat, supporting himself. "Logan Wright? What's happened to him? What's going on?"
"He's been in an accident. A pretty severe one at that."
Sebastian stilled, body going numb. A loud ring began to swim through his ears, seemingly echoing through his body, causing him to almost drop the phone.
"Hello? Mr Symthe?"
The voice pulled him out of his shock induced state. He took a deep breath, steeling himself, though his voice came out weak. "He still alive?"
"For no-"
And that was as far as she got before Sebastian tossed the phone behind him. It landed with a clunk as it slid across the glass table, but he was too busy racing around to find some shoes and his keys before darting out of the apartment. He didn't even bother waiting for the elevator, taking the stairs three and four at a time down the 9 flights.
He hailed a cab, and practically screamed the destination at the driver as he hopped in the car. The man nodded, and Sebastian settled into the seat, a look of permanent worry on his face as he fidgeted nervously.
When the cab reached the hospital, Sebastian threw a wad of cash at the driver, and bolted into the emergency waiting room.
"I'm Sebastian Smythe," he started, trying to calm his voice as he talked to the woman at the front, though he just sounded desperate. "My fiancée is in there! Loga- I mean John Wright. I..."
The lady nodded after she looked up his name. "He's four doors down on your right," she spoke calmly, and Sebastian nodded, thanking her before racing down the hall, running as fast as his legs could carry him. He busted into the room, but froze at the sight of his fiancée.
"Oh Logan," he whispered, stumbling forward on his weak legs, barely able to make it to the plastic chair beside the bed before collapsing. "Oh, Logan."
Logan groaned quietly, whimpering as he tried to shift himself on the bed.
He was hooked up to a plethora of machines and gadgets. Needles, tubes, and hooks were pinned into his arms and hands, one pinned on his neck, and one pinned in his chest. Right over his heart.
He had cuts and scratches all over his body, and large gash that had been stitched together, starting over his eyebrow, ending just before his hairline. There were many more, but the one that concerned Sebastian the most was the large bandage wrapped around Logan's stomach, a bit of blood beginning to show through the startling white of the cloth.
"Oh Logan."
"You've said tha-" Logan had to take a moment to breathe, groaning as he did. He obviously hasn't had much contact since he was admitted. "That three times now."
Sebastian gave a sad smile, and Logan noticed, causing him to flip his hand over, offering it to Sebastian the best he could.
Sebastian took it immediately. "So... How did it…" The brunet was at a loss for words. "… What... I-"
"What happened?" Logan offered, and Sebastian nodded, sucking his lips between his teeth.
Logan took a deep breath, wincing as it tugged uncomfortably at his stomach and chest. He readjusted himself before continuing. "I was running late. I had just gotten-" Logan took a moment to breath, this pause happening often during his speech. "Gotten off of work, and I wanted to get home to you. I was going faster than I should have, and I- I missed a yellow light. It shouldn't have been an issue, but someone else was in just- just as much of a rush as me. They plowed through the end of their red, and this... This is the result." Logan tilted his head down with a wince, gesturing to his body." A fucked up me."
Sebastian raked his eyes over Logan once again, and slid himself as close to the bed as he could, dropping his head down to kiss Logan's shoulder. "You're not fucked up," he whispered.
Logan snorted to the best of his ability, the noise coming out as more of an exhale as he rolled his eyes. "You always tell me that. I'm not talking about my… emotional side." Logan rolled his eyes again, though not out of irritation. "I mean physically. Come on, Sebastian look at me. I'm practically dead."
"Don't say that," Sebastian responded sternly. "Don't even think that way. You're alive. You're here with me. You're gonna be oka-"
"Don't you dare say okay, Sebastian."
Sebastian clenched his teeth. "Well what do you want me to say, Logan? Hmm?" he hissed.
Logan's eyes began to glow with emotion, though he managed to control himself. He swallowed hard. "Can we... Can we not fight? Not right now, please."
Sebastian blinked a few times, unclenching his teeth and nodding as he rested his chin on Logan's bed, bringing his face as close to the other's a he could manage.
He raked his eyes across around the mangled body in front of him, and caught sight of Logan's stomach again. "What's going on there," he decided to ask, tilting his head slightly to the blond's abdomen.
Logan looked down at Sebastian, before looking at his stomach. Another sigh, though much more shallow than before.
"I was hit on my side, and the- the force of the door smashing in crushed my- my ribs. Bruised my lungs, and a bit of internal bleeding as well."
Sebastian gasped, and his hand tightened around Logan's, so tight it hurt, but Logan didn't protest. "And... And the blood? Why is there blood?"
"The glass broke, and some... Hit me, I guess. They slowed the bleeding, but it's still pretty bad. There's actually a bit of glass in there. It's not hurting me or anything, so don't worry, love."
Sebastian nodded, a few tears brimming in his eyes, but he blinked them away. "Yo-you'll be okay though, right? You'll get through it?"
Logan didn't move. Didn't blink. Didn't say anything.
"Right, Logan?" Sebastian asked again, voice growing desperate and pleading. "Right? You're going to be fine. Right? Right?! Logan, answer me! Right?"
Logan grimaced eyes drifting to Sebastian's, waiting a moment before shaking his head, a barely visible movement.
Sebastian gulped, giving a minuscule head shake before he flew out of his chair, knocking it over as he cupped Logan's face, kissing him harder than he ever had. Their lips were locked together, a few tears rolling down his cheeks, but for just a moment, it was only them. Only their lips locked together. Only the feeling of Logan's face beneath his hands, and the gentle touch of the other's hand on his hip.
Sebastian would have never pulled away, would have never left this perfect, invisible moment, but the quickening drone of the heart monitor across from him and the now-rapid breaths coming from Logan caused him to move away.
Logan's lips were flushed, and so were his cheeks, though that could've been from his rapid breathing, and Sebastian imagined he looked quite the same.
His hands were still cupping Logan's face, but he couldn't bring himself to let go. He closed his eyes. "How long do you have, love?"
Logan blinked. "It depends."
"On?"
"If they can get me into surgery."
Sebastian blinked a few times, confusion flooding his features. "... Surgery?"
"To stop the bleeding, and fix my ribs."
Sebastian gasped and sat up, hands sliding down to Logan's neck, stopping where it met his shoulders. "Surgery to save you? Logan! Logan, you can get through this! You can live! We can get married! We can... Can... Lo...?" Sebastian trailed off as Logan continued to shake his head. "Why are you shaking your head? Do you... Do you not want to..."
"No, no! Sebastian, no. Of course I want to be better. Of course I want to live, and marry you, and live with you forever. But..."
"But..." Sebastian egged him on, eyes filling with tears again. "But what, Logan? Just get in for the surgery! Is it the cost? The insurance? I'll talk to them! I'll talk to whoever I need to! I'll make them get you in there! Make them fix you, save you, make yo-"
"-It's got a 95% mortality rate, Sebastian."
Sebastian gaped for a moment, shaking his head before speaking. "But that's 5% less than what you've got now…." He shook his head again, trying to understand. How could be saved… "…Logan? Why won't you get the surgery...?"
Logan swallowed, taking a deep breath before speaking again. His most shallow breath yet. "Because the chances of the surgery working are so low, and the aftermath, if anything at all goes wrong, could be disastrous… If I'm going to die, then I don't want it to happen while I'm on a wh-white table surrounded by people who don't know me, who don't love me, who… who don't care. I want to... to be with you, Sebastian."
Tears were spilling freely now, and Sebastian couldn't control them anymore, nor did he even care. "So I guess it's official, then. It's inevitable?"
"That I'm going to die?" Sebastian nodded. "Then yes. Inevitable."
Sebastian sucked in a breath, and dropped his head, pressing it into Logan's shoulder, immediately transferring blots of tears to his skin.
"Sebastian, shh. It'll be okay. You'll be okay," Logan cooed, trying to calm him down. He didn't want to spend whatever time he had left with Sebastian crying about it.
Sebastian shook his head, a sob wracking his body, and Logan simply dropped it, and lay there stroking his side to the best of his ability, letting him cry himself dry.
"You're going to be okay, Sebastian," Logan said after a while, when he felt Sebastian calming down. "You're going to make it through this."
"But I don't want to. I want you to stay, to be okay... To be alive..."
"I'm alive right- right now." His breaths were growing shorter.
Sebastian nodded, looking back up at Logan. "Yeah. For now." He tilted his head up, kissing his jaw, and then his cheek.
x-x-x
"I can feel you slipping," Sebastian said a while later, once he had calmed down, and he and Logan were cuddling the best they could with all of Logan's tubes and wires, and Sebastian in a chair.
"I can fe- feel it too."
Sebastian sniffed as more tears began to form. They rolled from his eyes, stinging his cheeks as they fell. "I suppose we should... You know..."
"Say goodbye?"
Sebastian nodded.
Logan nodded as well, and began to speak. "I love you, Sebastian. That's the first thing I want you to know, and if you ever do t-try to forget about me, that's the o-one thing I want you to keep. I've always loved you, since the very day I met-met you, and I've never stopped. And to say that you we-were my rock for the last 4 years would b-be an understatement, be-because you were so much more. You were everything to m-me. You were my lifeline when I was weak, and the wind under m-my wings when I was strong."
Tears pricked at Logan's eyes, a few running astray.
"My time left is-is fleeting, and god Sebastian, I wish I-I had more to spend with you. I wish I could be with you as we grow ol-old, and god do I wish I could marry you-"
"Two weeks," Sebastian interjected with a hiccup and a sad smile.
"Two weeks," Logan confirmed, sniffling as more tears fell. "But unfortunately, I can't. But I love you, a-and no matter what anyone says, you are my-my one and only." Logan held up his hand weakly, wiggling his fingers in an attempt to show his ring. "You m-may not always be mine, b-but I'll always be yours, Sebastian Smythe. Sebastian Wright. Always."
Sebastian nodded, trying to force a smile that just wouldn't come between his tears. He took a deep breath, steeling himself. "Logan, I'll always be yours. Always. I'm never going to forget you, and my feelings for you will never change." He held up his ring hand, wiggling it before linking his fingers with Logan's. "And you're not just my fiancée anymore, Lo. It may not be official, but you're my husband. My lover. My life. My everything. And god, Logan, it's so hard to s-say goodbye to you, especially so soon. I thought we'd have f-forever, but I know in my heart, that no matter how many years I could have gotten with you, it never would have been enough. I can't recall how many days I've had with you, how many moments we've experienced, but I know that I'll never forget a single one of them. I love you so much, John Logan Wright, and I always will. Forever."
Sebastian finished, and tears couldn't be stopped. Logan just held him the best he could, arms weakly wrapped around him.
Sebastian could feel Logan slipping away with every strained breath, and after a few minutes, he knew he was nearing the end. "I don't want to say goodbye to you," he whimpered.
"Me... Either..." Logan gasped out.
"This can't be the e-end, can it? It's not, is it?"
"It is... At least for this adventure"
Sebastian took a few gasping breaths between his sobs. "I can't let go of you. Not yet."
"But you... need to."
Sebastian continued sobbing, wracking his body with the jolts of air being released and sucked in.
Logan patted Sebastian's hip a few minutes later, and Sebastian looked up into his eyes. This was it; the final stretch.
Sebastian began to cry harder, but pushed himself up regardless, cupping Logan's cheek with his free hand as he pulled him into a final kiss. He made it last as long as he could manage, but when Logan was growing short of breath, he pulled away, just by an inch.
"I love you. Forever. I love you," Logan gasped out, voice quiet and weak.
"And I love you. Always."
And Sebastian looked into Logan's eyes, catching that final glimpse of emerald green that he had grown to love over the years fade away as Logan's eyes drifted shut. His fingers grew limp in Sebastian's hands, and the monotonous blaring from the machine beside him told him it was over. He was gone.
Sebastian let a few more tears slip past as he whispered, one last time;
"I love you, Logan. Forever."
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I'm sorry...
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Logan Wright is a character from Dalton, written by the amazing CPCoulter.
Check that shit out, seriously