Hello. I wasn't expecting to write anything today, but...my good friend Kamesplus61 inspired me to write a Kames one shot today; it's Dominant!Kendall and Submissive!James, and the song that helped with the extra flow of creativity was 'Give Your Heart a Break' by Demi Lovato. I wish to say, thank you for your kind words friend, really; I needed those, really I did. This is for you...Thanks for cheering me up...:)...Disclaimer: I OWN NOTHING BUT THE PLOT OF THE ONE SHOT AND ANY OCS USED AND/ OR MENTIONED... Sorry if this sucked, was lame, too short, or all the above... Sorry if there were any grammar mistakes made during the writing, creation, and polishing of this oneshot...Note: Bold writing is Kendall's narration but the one shot is in third person's Point-of-View; italics are text messages...Note: This is AU, mentions of Carlos and Logan (implied Cargan, even if not really stated nor shown) but focused on Kames all the way...
When I met him, he was already broken...
"Hey, I'm Kendall! Nice to meet you, I'm your new neighbor!" The calm, down-to-earth blonde greeted cheerfully to the brunette boy busying himself getting the mail, brilliant bottle green eyes friendly and bright.
The brunette boy, tall and thin with lithe muscles, glanced at him weakly from behind his thick, whole black-rimmed glasses before turning back to the envelopes in his hands and walking back into his large, mansion-like house, lips in a thin line.
Kendall Knight's smile faltered at this instantly, stuffing his pale, spidery hands into the pockets of his light blue skinny jeans, thick dirty blonde eyebrows curling downwards.
Was his new neighbor okay? He seemed...really sad.
He rarely smiled, and when I saw him...I saw tears in his eyes, always.
Kendall watched from across the street on a bench, a dark blue sweater tossed over a plaid gray shirt and heavy boots to go along with his bleached blue jeans, a cup of hot chocolate in his gloved hands as he stared through the window of Sherwood's only bookstore; he sipped at the warm drink and didn't move apart from that, too focused on what he was observing from afar.
Better to say, who he was observing from afar.
It was his new neighbor (well, not so new since the blonde's been living in Minnesota for about three weeks now, California now in the past for him) James Richard Diamond (the guy went to his school; everyone knew him, but just the basic things like a middle name or locker number) sitting at a lone table, reading the novel Romeo and Juliet for what seemed to be for recreation. He was dressed in tight black skinny jeans, a blue jacket over a black hoodie; his hair was cut shorter than what Kendall remembered meeting him with, no longer at his neck but trimmed (yet still beautifully styled) to curl around his ears and fall lightly over his eyes. He had sunglasses on, despite the bookstore being nicely lit and there was no sun outside, hand pressed to one hallow, caramel-colored cheek as he flipped through the pages, taking in the words with the unique shade of his mercury eyes even if they were hidden by the dark shades.
He was alone, like the blonde has seen him almost every day.
Wasn't he...lonely? Did he not have friends to hang out with, especially on this gloomy Sunday?
Kendall blinked when he saw the other boy (sixteen but a few months older; unlike them, their moms were best friends so the blonde learned a little about James via long mom chats) suddenly pull out his cell-phone, his shades glowing blue at reading a text message before he sighed heavily and pressed his free hand to his soft, pale pink lips; he removed his sunglasses and hung them from the collar of his hoodie, the blonde gasping at seeing fresh tears attack those pretty, deep eyes.
H-He was crying...again.
Okay, that was it!
Kendall tossed his half finished cup of hot chocolate into a nearby trashcan, pulled on his blue-and-white striped beanie over his freezing ears and jogged quickly across the street; it took him only seconds (Sherwood was rare with traffic) to be in front of the bookstore, but the brunette was already out, sunglasses back on and with his books (more than one, clearly he loved reading) tucked under his arm, seeming okay and relaxed.
The faintly glistening tear tracks on his face, however, said otherwise.
"Wait, James!" Said dark-skinned boy froze mid-step with his back prostrate, shoulders trembling as he tilted his head to the side to address the other, slightly short slender boy.
"W-What? What do you want? I want to be alone..." He said, tone sharp and cold like the freezing waters of Alaska; Kendall didn't back down, though. He was stubborn, hard-headed, and was one to help anyone who looked sad or upset.
Even if it was the boy he was crushing on, but wanted nothing to do with him.
"James, what's wrong? You're crying and you look really upset, is there anything I can do to help? I'm Kendall, your next door neighbor, remember?"
"Yes I do, I'm not stupid." The brunette shot back, Kendall fighting the urge to roll his eyes; the pretty boy always acted like this, more when he, his mom Jen and baby sister Katie were invited over to his house by his mother Brooke Diamond.
Whenever that happened, James would lock himself up in his room and not leave (not even to eat, which would explain why he was anorexic) until the Knights were good and gone.
"I'm not implying that you're stupid, James; I'm just trying to help, you look upset." Kendall tried again, but James' lips curled up into a sneer.
"I don't need your help, Knight. Just leave me alone, got it? My life is not your business, so stay away from me." With that James resumed walking down the street towards home, head ducked low with his books clasped tight to his firm chest.
Kendall sighed, a frown on and eyes downcast and a darker green; why was it so hard to get to know the brunette, why was he...so insistent on being left alone?
And for everything I did to try to see the real him, he'd find some way to keep me out...
Kendall stared at the ceiling of his bedroom, sighing before turning his head to the window; he could see across to James' house, into his own room with the curtains drawn back and the brunette on his bed.
He was on his bed, school books scattered around him like broken toys, pencil in his hand with a notebook and English textbook on his lap; he was dressed in a tank top that hugged his toned form, a pair of matching gray boxers with a black sweater tossed over his shoulders, dark blue baseball cap over his hair and ankle-length white socks riding up his lean, runner's legs. His glasses were on (he must have taken out his contacts as soon as he got him today, from the bookstore) over the bridge of his straight, arrow-sharp nose and his pink tongue stuck out in a cute concentration pose, eyes wet but tears held back fiercely.
He was studying, like normal; though the blonde boy was a very smart person himself, James was an AP student. He had senior college-credit classes, drop-dead gorgeous looks with the brain of a child prodigy.
But how could someone who's sweet, smart, beautiful, and shy (believe it or not, Brooke has talked about how James at home and James at school were two very different people) be in so much pain? What was wrong, what was he carrying on his shoulders, why was he so hurt?
Then an idea came to Kendall; there was chance he would be shot down, but better to try than to just give in.
Said green-eyed boy rose from bed, unplugged his cell-phone from his charger and went to his contacts, typing rapidly at the screen before pressing the button to send the text. He looked back to the window, gaze focused on the mercury-eyed beauty; he could make out James' phone flashing blue at the screen and vibrating at his crossed ankles, the brunette looking surprised before setting his books down and picking up his phone. He tapped his password in and checked his text inbox, a hard glare crossing his face before his nimble, thin fingers tapped at the keyboard of his slim-flip.
What do you want, Knight?
-James.
Kendall's eyes read the message before taking a deep breath and tapped his phone's screen once more.
I've been thinking about you, James; you looked so sad at the bookstore, and I've been thinking about you ever since then. Are you okay? P.S. Call me Kendall, please?
-Kendall.
Kendall saw James huff out of the corner of his right eye, the brunette looking torn between continuing their conversation or ending it there; to the younger boy's relief, James decided the latter.
Okay, Kendall; why are you texting me? Wait, how did you even get my number, are you stalking me or something? And please don't act like you care, I'm sure you haven't thought of me for the past six hours, I wasn't born yesterday. What do you want, unlike you I have to study my brains out to keep up my perfect grades in school.
-James.
Okay, that sassy comment stung but Kendall kept going forward; he was going to find out what was with James, one way or another but he will find out!
Why are you always so sad or upset, James? Why do you hate me? And your mom and my mom are friends, she gave me your number in case of emergencies or something like that. I know you're an AP student, but no one can work when they're fighting back the urge to cry. What's wrong James, really tell me...
-Kendall.
James took a while to respond to this, Kendall seeing a mixture of shock and fear on the other's face via window.
H-How do you know I'm fighting back the urge to cry? And I...I don't hate you, stupid. And why do you care?
-James.
James was off his bed and pacing his room, phone between his trembling hands and glasses hanging lopesided against his soft cheeks as tears sparkled more in his eyes.
James...come walk to your bedroom window, and look out.
-Kendall.
Kendall tossed his phone lightly on top of his bed and crossed the room to his window, undoing the hatch and letting the chilly, Minnesota night air breeze across his pale face and play with his shaggy, dirty blonde hair. He saw James look confused at the message, before he turned his face to meet his window; his mercury eyes, now letting loose all his built-up tears, went wide as dinner plates before he scrambled to his window, threw it open and met the blonde's concerned face.
Kendall smiled softly and reached out with a pale, thin hand to the dangerously shaking brunette, as if to stop him from falling.
"James...!"
At the this, the brunette reacted badly; he choked back his sobs behind his hands and shook his head, slamming his window doors shut and fastening the curtains so his room was blocked from view. Kendall frowned and bit his lower lip, placing a hand to his face with a heavy sigh; his supersensitive ears could hear...crying, crying from a beautiful yet deeply hurt brunette boy across from him.
I was beginning to think I'd have to find another way to get to him; until, however, he met me half way one day...
"H-Hello, Mrs. Knight. Is K-Kendall awake?" Said blonde jumped from the Kitchen counter, leaving his breakfast behind half eaten, as he ran to the front door, eyes wide and face threatening to break into a large smile.
There stood James Diamond on the doorstep of the Knight household, looking down with his left arm rubbing his right elbow. He was dressed in the same style Kendall remembered from the bookstore, only that the pair of skinny jeans he was wearing today were chalk-white, his jacket was gray and his hoodie was blue. He had his sunglasses on though, head bowed and hair still wet from a recent shower.
Jen seemed surprised the usually closed off boy was visiting them, but she smiled warmly at the child and nodded, stepping back to let him cross into the house.
"Hello, sweetie! Yes, Kendall's awake and was just eating breakfast, come in! You must be cold, today's pretty chilly, isn't it? Are you hungry dear, would you want some pancakes or toast? Or thirsty, Brooke told me you like coffee, or juice maybe? And call me Jen, James, you're home here." The single mother said kindly, just as happy the brunette was here as her son; it obviously by the warm, loving stare in her dark brown eyes. Katie smiled and waved from the counter as she went on eating her corn flakes, James blushing a faint pink at all the attention he was getting.
"N-No thank you, J-Jen ma'am. I'm okay; I don't eat...breakfast. I wanted to know if Kendall wouldn't mind me here, I-I'd like to hang out with him today." The brunette said, hands gripped tight over his non-existing stomach. Jen frowned at this, knowing the weak growling sound wasn't coming from her children nor her; she knew James wasn't one to eat, always worried about his weight (which was ridiculous really, the boy had no body fat and was as thin as a stick!) and all, but she couldn't just ignore his real needs!
Kendall stepped in though; he knew that if his mom insisted on the other eating, James would leave.
"Hey James, if you want we can go up to my room and hang out there, you know so we can talk with just the two of us listening!" The blonde suggested, giving his mom a look that said "I'll explain later, just let us go!" loud and clear through his eyes; Jen bit her lower lip but nodded with a smile, going back to Katie at the counter so that the two teenager boys were left alone in the hallway.
"Come on, my room's upstairs." Kendall said to the shy-looking brunette with a soft smile; James said not a word, nodding only as he followed the younger, slightly shorter boy up the staircase.
I was surprised that he came to me; I thought he didn't like me, nor thought of me when to talk to someone about...whatever that was making him suffer.
But all I wanted was this: to give his heart a break, let him get all that out and trust me to tell not a soul...
"Sorry I took so long, forgot I left my shoes in the bathroom after I showered this morning." Kendall apologized to James as he reentered his room, the brunette sitting stiffly on his bed.
The blonde couldn't see the look in the other's eyes due to the sunglasses, but James' cheeks flushed pink out-of-the-blue.
"What's wrong?"
"Y-You're shirtless..." James replied, that making Kendall's eyes widen and look down at himself; his boxers were on and covered by a pair of dark green skinny jeans he found in the back of his closet, his favorite pair of signature black-and-gray Vans on, but...his firm abs, flat stomach and hard chest were exposed, inches of pale, warm skin out in the open.
"Oh crap, sorry!" He exclaimed, digging through his chest of drawers for a white undershirt and plaid black button-up; James' head was ducked down again to avoid seeing the other finish dressing, though the blush on his cheeks didn't fade away completely.
"I'm so sorry, I just wanted to be with you so badly that I forgot to put on a shirt, ha! Sorry, won't happen again!" Kendall went on blabbing, but a comment from the suddenly blunt brunette on his bed made his cheeks flush.
"It's okay, you're not ugly or unattractive; you're hot, I won't deny what I know is true." James said with a shrug, face (well, what wasn't hidden by his shades) without a speck of emotion though his voice was...low and laced with sincerity and maybe a little timid?
"Well thanks, you're pretty beautiful yourself." Kendall said with a sweet smile once his blush was gone, James' slender eyebrows going up in shock at this though he quickly managed composure and shrugged his shoulders; his hands were clasped between his knees, face tilting to the side when the blonde sat beside him.
"So James, what's wrong? Why were you crying yesterday, maybe I can do something to help you..." Kendall began, right hand falling softly over the other's gripped ones; James' form stiffened at this, but he did not pull away.
"I-I...I slept last night, without a nightmare. I mean, I'm use to insomnia and all; but, last night I slept great because...because I was thinking about you." James admitted, Kendall's eyes going wide once again at this.
J-James, the James Diamond? The beautiful diamond in the rough, the diamond rose with the rusted thorns, thought about him last night? And because he thought about him, he was able to sleep without any nightmares?
"I don't know what that means, which is why I came to see you; how did you do that, how could thinking of you got my nightmares to go away? I've tried over and over, with so many ideas and ways but none of them worked, but thinking of you and how c-concerned you seemed for me, the nightmares didn't scare me last night. H-How did you make those nightmares go away, Kendall? I've tried to run away from them for a while now, and you just made them go away, just like that; I-I wasn't scared of them, I wasn't scared to fall asleep..." James explained, faint tears trailing down his cheeks.
Kendall's eyes soften at this, seeing that behind that always angry, always upset James...was a little boy, sobbing and hiding in the dark carrying something heavy on his shoulders, something threatening to drown him little by little.
The poor brunette was scared, scared to death!
Scared of his nightmares, but also scared as to why...Kendall seemed to make his fears go away. The brunette was naked before him right now, all the covers were gone; all the walls down; everything that hid him away, his feelings and his heart, were gone and Kendall was seeing him (if not, a tiny bit of him) for the very first time.
Like the very first time he realized he was falling, slowly but hard, for the quiet and closed off brunette boy.
Kendall said not a word; instead, James gasped and his eyes went wide behind his sunglasses when the blonde pulled him into a hug, his face to the other's torso while Kendall's hands worked the tension, sadness, confusion, and loneliness from the small of James' strong back.
"H-Hey, let go! Don't touch m-me!" James shouted, alarmed but Kendall only tightened his hold on him; the brunette pressed his hands to the other's shoulders and pushed with all he had, but...the desire webbed away shortly after a few shoves, the taller boy shakily relaxing to the other's touch.
'Don't push me away, James; let your heart rest, please. Give your heart a break, if only for me and with me.' Kendall thought, closing his eyes and breathing in the sunglasses-wearing boy's scent while whistling a low, soothing tune into his left ear.
That fear in his eyes, that hurt...how could life be so cruel to someone so beautiful, so sweet and talented?
Those tears, they said a lot that many couldn't hear, but I could...
'Oh God.' Kendall whispered in head in horror, tracing the thick, crisscrossing marks against the smooth, soft dark skin of James' wrists.
"I-I never meant to do this; it leaves scars that won't ever go away, my doctor told me so himself. But I-I couldn't find another way to deal with the pain! It was all I can think of, a way to let it all out! My parents' divorce, my brother Shane going to live with our dad, my sister passing away after months in the hospital, I-I couldn't take it! And my mom's depression, she constantly taking pills and hiding away from me so that I didn't have to see her cry! M-My best friends Carlos and Logan moving away to New York and Florida because of family problems, I was alone! And one day, I-I just saw the kitchen knife and went at it! I was alone in the house, surrounded by the thoughts of how ugly and hideous I was, how messed up my life was! I-I didn't mean to, but it just happened so fast and it felt good, I don't know why but it did!" James exclaimed, looking at said cuts with a look of disgust and regret.
Kendall bit back his own tears as he rubbed them lightly with the pads of his fingers, James flinching even at the faint touch to them.
"After the adrenaline drug went down, I felt so ashamed with myself! That's why I started wearing jackets, sweaters and long jeans, I didn't want my mom to find out what I was doing to myself! All my pain turned into nightmares though, they wouldn't let me sleep and I developed insomnia! I have insomnia, anorexia, cutting issues and I think I'm as ugly as a bird with no face! Everything, my nose, my eyes, my hair, everything is wrong! My ex-boyfriend cheated on me, one of the girls at school calls me out every day in front everyone in our class, I get stared at all weirdly and stuff! I thought that because all those bad things were happening to me, meant that I was ugly both inside and out, all wrong and messed up and hideous!" James ranted on, nearly ripping off his red jacket and orange hoodie to expose his upper body.
Scars, scars, and more scars; they littered every inch of skin on his back, the back of his neck, his collarbone, his whole perfect body. Kendall feared there were more on the brunette's hips, legs, all over his lower half.
James' eyes were puffy and red as he hugged himself and ducked his head, Kendall rising from his bed and crossing the room so that he cupped the other's gorgeous face between pale, spidery hands; James peered at him through slits in his eyes, chest heaving and hiccups leaving his soft lips as he was over the cliff of having a panic attack.
And yes, those tears were shedding but for all the wrong reasons...
"Don't. Say. That. Ever. Again." Kendall said through gritted teeth, James looking lost and confused.
"You're the most beautiful person I've seen and have had the honor to meet; you're beautiful, everything about you: your eyes, their not the usual shade of brown but a unique brown, a brown that's all you."
A broken person is not hideous, not ugly or flawed.
"No one has eyes like yours, Jamie; they are mercury and amber and honey, all of those mixed together to make the most exquisite brown eyes, your brown eyes! They are beautiful and I never get tired of seeing those eyes, I love your eyes; they're pretty and special and just amazing, they take my breath away and make everyone stare in awe at you!" Kendall exclaimed, a smile on his lips.
James parted his own to protest but the blonde gently hushed him, a finger to his lips to let him go on.
A broken person has nothing wrong with them, nothing but the pain but the rest is perfect.
"And your hair, it's softer than cashmere! It's a lovely chocolate and silky and smooth and nice, it's nice and you take good care of it because it shines in any given light! Your hair smells so sweet too, like caramel candy or honey oats! Your hair is always perfect, even if it's shaggy and wet from a shower or sticking up all crazy with a little gel! It's perfect because it frames your high cheekbones, tickles your delicate ears, and show off the curves of your almond-shaped eyes and the firm dip of your chin!"
James said nothing, tears running down his face still but the coughing dying down.
"I like your face James, no I love your face! Your nose fits it nicely, all sharp and straight yet with a cute slope to the right! I love your soft skin, your warm cheeks especially when they blush a cute pink, I love those faint freckles that dot your face in the shape of a heart! Your eyelashes, like feathers over your beautiful eyes, and your lips just divine! Soft, full and stretched in a smile, a smile so bright and beaming and all you that show off those perfect white pearls in your mouth! Your face and hair, there's not a single thing wrong with them; I don't even know why you insist on using hairspray or eyeliner or all that other make-up crap, you don't need to touch up your face because it's lovely as it is!"
A broken person, among the shards, is the most amazing and dazzling soul to be seen in the wrecks.
"And your body, your body? Please pretty boy, there is nothing wrong with it! Your abs, stomach, chest, everything is chiseled and just finely defined! Everything, from the crown of your head to the soles in your feet is flawless! You're no magazine model, but who cares? You're beautiful you, James, just as you are! You're perfect, get that into you head once and for all! I love your body as much as your personality, I love everything about you! No correction, I love everything that IS you, MAKES you who YOU are! There's nothing wrong with you! Believe me, because I fell in love with you, YOU! I, Kendall Donald Knight, fell in love with you, James Richard Diamond! I fell in love with you, and you know what? I love loving you, yep I really do! I love you, and nothing will change that, ever!" Kendall drew in a long breath after his passionate speech, eyes wet as he stared into the other's shocked face.
They don't know they are beautiful, which comes in the fun part: helping them see that, and because they don't see how beautiful they are, it makes them stand out. Stand out like a supestar, the world belonged to them, in this case though to him.
And I wanted to show him I wasn't like everyone else, that I could see him shine just as he is.
And in return, make him feel comfortable enough to help him shine, all on his own...
Kendall watched in awe as James' fingers danced across the keys of the piano, the boy ditching his sunglasses for once and going out of his usual hoodie and jacket to a pair of jeans and black v-neck.
A broken, beautiful person who can sing and make musical beauty through notes and different voices of the heart.
The brunette was playing a song from one of his favorite Tim Burton's animation movies, Corpse Bride if Kendall recalled with ease, eyes soft and lighter than normal with happiness; he gestured with a roll of his head for the blonde to join him, in a way acting out the duet scene of Victor and Emily. Kendall chuckled while James grinned, both pairs of hands dancing and skipping across the black-and-white teeth of the grand piano while they lost themselves in each other and the music.
The song was slightly sad, but a beautiful sad; a type of sad that among the pain, held some shred of hope, of peace, of joy. It had energy, movement, passion.
And to think, James never really believed in love...
The two started to laugh at the end of the song, hands locking over the keys as they stared at each other.
"To think I would be playing a song, with all of me this time..."
Kendall smiled and kissed the brunette's hand.
"I love all of you." He said, James biting his lower lip and looking away. Kendall was immediately concerned.
"What's wrong?"
"I-I said one time that I would never fall in love, because seeing my parents split made me believe love was a just fool's story. I said I would never love someone, but...with you, I touch you and I smile, I hug you and my stomach gets butterflies, I feel you near or smell your scent and all the heavy lead in my chest just, goes away without a trace left back. I'm s-scared to let my heart breathe evenly again, you know? I'm scared to hold on and in the end lose you..." A few tears left the boy's eyes but Kendall gently wiped them away with his thumbs, hands cradling the brunette's face.
"Then don't let go, because you won't lose me. And even if do you let go, I won't let go of you, I'll hold us up when you feel like you're falling, I'll hold your hand through it all. If you're scared, it's okay because I'll help you fight those fears. You're scared that I'm making the biggest mistake of my life being with you, but my biggest mistake would be to let you go and not love you. I'm scared too, but I'm want to risk it all for you. You've been hurt, I know, but I'll spend the rest of my life and forever and eternity to help that pain go away, to get that hurt and ache off your chest. I want nothing more than to be with you, and take you as you are. Those scars, they're part of you but I'll love them no matter what; don't think, never think of the pain if you can, but don't think and just feel. Feel me here, feel yourself here, feel us together no matter what..." Kendall cooed to him, breathing suddenly shallow as he leaned closer to the other boy, James' hands to his chest and gripping tightly at his plain t-shirt.
James closed his eyes and took a deep breath, letting Kendall blow his sweet wintergreen breath over his pale pink, full lips before their mouths molded together softly; it was heavy on the clumsy, considering it was the very first kiss both have ever had, but it gradually eased up after a few minutes. James leaned against the shorter boy's firm frame, Kendall's hands gliding down his back to hold him in a tender embrace. No spark, no burst of fireworks, but a flood of affection, passion, love filled them at the touch of the lips; no clichés of a sappy old romance novel or a story about sparkly vampires, but real, raw, genuine emotion.
A beautiful broken person, who was broken no longer.
When the two pulled away, their faces matched in expression: flushed cheeks and foggy, dazed eyes, full-blown smiles and fluttering flutters in their stomachs. They shared another chuckle, James snuggling to the blonde's chest while Kendall stroked fondly the chocolate-brown tresses tickling lightly his strong chin.
A no longer broken beautiful person, that I loved more than anything in the world...
"I-I love you, Kendall..."
"I love you too, James, I love you so much..."