Author's Note: Hiya! This is my first real FIC posted here - all the rest I have saved in Microsoft Word, and my retarded computer can't open it for whatever reason. Um - I'm normally a Ran/Ken fan, but hey! Yohji/Ken deserves a try, ne? ^^; So, just so ya'll know... Yohji and Ken start out as a couple (I'm too unromantic and untalented to write in the process of how they came to be dating). I know this fic may be a little confusing, but I like messing with people's heads, so, if that's not your thing you may want to refrain from reading. Arigatou! Enjoy! ^_^ YAOI, ANGST - OOC Warning! I'm not that familiar with Crawford and Schu. ^^;;

Disclaimer: No matter how hard I wish or how much I pray, I do not own any of the yummy WeiB/Schwarz boys - but I do get to play with them. ^^; But they're not mine. Unfortunately. *sigh*

Chapter One: The First Attempt

Ken hung up the phone. The paper in his fist was crumpled, having been crush and uncrushed for the past twenty minutes. His honey eyes were clouded with tears and exhaustion.

'It's over.'

The paper was thrown into the garbage. The brunette stood and walked into the kitchen, picking up the biggest knife he could find.

'No one needs you.'

Slowly, he drew it across his wrist, his blank eyes fixed on the cabinet in front of him.

'You're annoying.'

He felt warmth slowly flowing down his lower arms and along his palm.

'You're not worth anything.'

Amber eyes fell to the floor, where a puddle of red had formed, his fingertips and arm covered in sticky blood.

'You'll never go anywhere.'

The slashed grew more frantic.

'... Worthless...'

The cutting still grew faster.

'... Pathetic...'

His mangled skin began refusing to bleed.

'... Don't need you...'

The knife dropped to the floor with a soft splash. The red blood splattered onto his pants, and Ken fell to his knees. "Worthless..."

"KEN!"

Yohji ran to Ken and helped him to his feet, leaning him against the counter. "Ken, talk to me." The brunette said nothing, his glazed eyes glued to his mangled wrist. Yohji's eyes drifted to his wrist. What greeted them was nauseating.

There was no skin on the area that had been cut. Yohji had trouble making out the veins from the flesh, which looked like it had been chewed. Blood was pouring out of the wound like a swelled river, and around it was starting to turn an ugly whitish color. This obviously meant it was infected.

'Ken's going to die.'

The thought echoed hollowly through Yohji's mind.

'He's killed himself.'

"You can't leave me, Ken." The blonde groped for the phone. "You can't leave me, beautiful..." His shaky hands barely managed to dial 911. The ringing seemed to be taking an eternity. Clumsily, he wrapped a dishtowel around Ken's wrist. Finally someone picked up. "HI - uh... Well... He tried to kill himself. Yeah, do you- Oh, alright. Yeah. Thank yo- Bye." The receiver didn't make it back into the cradle. "Ambulance is coming, Ken." He said to the brunette, who was staring at the now red dishtowel.

Ambulances arrived and Yohji was separated from Ken. They didn't allow him to drive in his mild state of shock, so Yohji was forced to ride with a policeman. The hospital gave him forms to fill out, but Yohji couldn't pay attention to them. They called Ran and Omi in, and Ran filled out the forms instead. Omi attempted to comfort Yohji, but saying as he was equally as upset if not more, it didn't work that well. They both eventually broke down and hugged each other as if life depended solely on their attachment. Ran was shaking like a leaf, but he was in better shape than the two of them. All of them were asking themselves the same question over and over again. Why had Ken tried to kill himself? They all contemplated as many possible answers as possible, but one stuck out in their mind, and they refused to consider it. They would never consider Ken to be insane. Insanity was out of the question completely. It would never be considered. Never.

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Ken slowly opened his eyes, and the fuzzy figures around him began to swim into focus. Everything was white. That meant he was alive. Unless Hell tried to trick you.

"Doko...?"

"You're in the hospital, Ken." Ran's baritone voice responded. Ken turned his head to the side and focused on the redhead. "Ran...?" "Hai." About a hundred emotions flowed over Ken. Guilt, sorrow, desire, anger... He wanted to scream, but all the drugs he had been injected with made it hard enough to talk. "Why did you try to kill yourself, Ken?" The redhead asked monotonously. He was regarded with a puzzled, shocked expression. "I - what?" Amnesia, maybe? From blood loss? "Nevermind, Ken. We'll talk about that later. How do you feel? Can you sit up?" Ran immediately hated himself as the brunette struggled, and finally came into a sitting position.

"I guess so. I feel kind of nauseous, though." Then he saw the blood-stained bandage covering his wrist. "Ran, wha-" "Don't worry about it. We'll talk when you're out of the hospital, alright?" The brunette nodded absently, resting his hand next to him, hiding it under the covers. "How long do I have to stay here?" Ran sat in a worried silence. How long would Ken have to stay? Would they make him go to a mental home? But they can't... He's old enough to refuse if they suggest it. "Anou... A couple of days at most." Ken's eyes widened and he looked at the blankets, clenching them in his fist. "I hate hospitals. I want to leave. Now." Ran was shocked for a moment. A phobia of hospitals? But Ken always used to love them - joke about becoming a doctor when he was done being a florist... "I'll see what I can do." "Arigatou, Ran." "Dou ita-" Ran stopped and caught Ken as the brunette fainted.

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Again, Ken woke. He blinked and looked to where Ran would be, but Omi was there instead. "Omi-kun, you okay? You look kinda pale..."

"Ne, so do you, Ken..." He replied softly, looking fixedly at the floor. "Oh. I don't know why. Ran won't even tell me why I'm in this bloody place in the first place. I have no idea why my wrist is bleeding, either." The use of the word "bloody" made Omi cringe, but he mustered his strength and looked at Ken, smiling. "It's only a little while, Ken. While you heal a little and stuff." The brunette nodded. "Well I guess I can live. Did Ran find out how long I'm stuck here?" Omi bit his lip and whispered, "Hai." Ken looked anxiously at teh boy. "How long?" "Anou... anou... For... For a week..." "A week?! I can't do that! I hate hospitals!" Omi sighed and folded his hands in his lap. "I know, Ken, I know, demo that's all Ran could talk them down to. They wanted to keep you for a whole month." "I'll have to thank Ran then." Omi smiled.

"Well, Omi... What happened to me? What's with this?" He held up the bandaged wrist. "We'll tell you when you're out of here, Ken. The doctors are worried it may affect your recovery." Ken immediately frowned. "Bullshit." "I'm not lying, Ken..." "I know you aren't, Omi. I meant the doctors. They think a few years in a special school makes then God or some shit. Pisses me off." "Well... Calm down." Omi smiled gently and took Ken's hand into his. "You should rest more, Kenken." That smiled always made Ken feel al 'warm and fuzzy'. "If you say so, Omi." The brunette closed his eyes and almost automatically was overcome by heavy sedatives. Omi's blue eyes clouded with tears and he kissed the back of Ken's hand. "I'm so glad you didn't die, Ken..." He whispered, standing slowly. "I don't know what I'd do." Omi put Ken's hand next to him on the bed, leaned over, and kissed Ken's cheek softly. "Get better..."

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An annoying beeping woke Ken up next. As he looked around, he saw Yohji standing in a corner, hitting the hospital-provided television. ken guessed the TV was emitting the noise. Abruptly the noise stopped and Yohji smiled triumphantly, flipping the TV off and hitting it one last time in a show of dominance. Ken burst out laughing. It was extremely hilarious to him, seeing Yohji act like a proud rooster after getting all the ladies. Afterall, all he did was beat a TV into submission. The laughing startled Yohji and he spun around abruptly.

"Ken!" The brunette continued laughing. "You're awake, huh? Geez, can't give me a break..." Yohji walked over and pushed the brunette's bangs out of his face. "You're laughing at me, beautiful? That hurts, ya know." The laughter subsided and Ken smiled at Yohji. "Gomen ne." "S'alright." Yohji sat down next to the bed and took Ken's left hand gingerly in his own, placing his lips on it, and giving a barely noticeable kiss. Ken flushed red nonetheless. "Yohji..." The blonde leaned forward, placing the injured hand down gently and abruptly kissing Ken passionately. The brunette took his right hand, the good one, and entangled it in Yohji's hair, pulling him closer. Yohji felt himself suddenly ache to do more... Touch him...

Unfortunately, this moment was short-lived as Ran and Omi came in. Yohji and Ken had separated at the click of the door handle being turned. Yohji's eyes never left Ken's face as Ran informed him that he could leave with them that night after a couple of tests. Ken sat up and immediately pulled the surprised redhead into a hug. As he did so, Yohji felt a brief wave of jealousy which was exterminated the second he saw the tears of joy in Ken's eyes.

"Arigatou, Ran! How did you talk them down so much?" Ran smiled, and held Ken in the hug, stroking his hair. "I told them you have a phobia of hospitals and doctors. So they said they didn't want to risk psychological trauma. After they do a hemoglobin/red blood cell count, you should be free to go." "Do they have to draw blood?" "Already done. The results'll be here in an hour tops." Ken let go of Ran and looked at Yohji. "Ne, did you hear that? I'm outta here in an hour!" Yohji grinned and walked over, hugging his lover tight, and kissing his forehead. "Wai, wai." He said happily, but not perky. Omi, however, was grinning from ear-to-ear, jumping up and down joyfully. "KAKKOI YO! You get out so soon! That's AWESOME!"

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Schuldig frowned, turning off the security camera showing Ken's room in the hospital. He turned to Crawford, who was nonchalantly strangling the last security guard.

"He's getting released, Brad! I can't play with him, then..." The German whined, plopping down into the seat and pressing a couple of random buttons. "Oo... Ladies' room..."

"Don't whine about it, Schu. You shouldn't have made him try to kill himself. Something worse would have been better. Like giving him third degree burns somewhere." Schuldig arched an eyebrow, looking quizzicly at Crawford's reflection in the monitor. "... I think not. Then he would be no fun to play with because he wouldn't be as hot." Brad sighed, tightening his grip on the security guard's neck. "Well then how about giving him a concussion? They'd keep him for at least three days with no exceptions then." "Whatever." Schuldig turned his attention to the cute nurse who was undressing. "Daaamn, woman! Them things are HUGE." Crawford frowned in disgust and threw down the dead security guard. "You're sick." "Hey, Brad, YOU come look at these things and tell me they ain't sweet." "I don't think so." "Fine. You suck." Crawford sighed and wiped his hands on his coat. "We're leaving now, Schuldig." The redhead turned around in the chair and stood up. "Okay, then. What am I gonna do so I can play with the little WeiB koneko?" The American shrugged. "Tch. Capture Yohji, or something. Do something smart, predictable, so they know its us." "Okay, Brad. Thanks."

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Well, whaddya think, should I continue? Please review! I like compliments and criticism! Even if you think its horribly stupid and I shouldn't have wasted your time with such crap, it'd be nice to know. ^_^